Tag Archives: wedding budget

Blending Cultures At Your Wedding

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If you think planning a wedding is hard, imagine how hard it is to plan a wedding with families from two entirely different backgrounds and customs. Even if everyone is in agreement about the specifics, there will be times when you will be worried about which traditions to use from each culture. Don’t sweat it… really. The truth is  that  the  absolute, hands-down best weddings are the ones where  couples incorporate customs from every aspect of their blended life and start their own.

There are no rules that say both couples cannot express their families’ wedding customs together. In fact, you may find that your customs are similar. This is nothing to argue about, this is a chance to open up to one another and to show your future in-laws you are willing to compromise.

Jumping the Broom is a custom that originated in Scotland or England among the Gypsy clans. It was adopted in the United States by African Americans during slavery and brought back into popular practice after several books and movies recognizing this (blended, borrowed) African American tradition. It is a symbolic gesture of togetherness. I wish it was a symbol that my husband was going to sweep the floor.

In Italy, either a roasted baby pig (porchetta) or roasted baby lamb (bacchio), depending on region, may be served, accompanied by two pasta dishes and assorted fresh fruit. As a symbol of the essence of marriage, newlyweds hand out sugared almonds representing the bitter and the sweet in life.

At a traditional Greek wedding, dishes are smashed on the floor for good luck and money is thrown at the musicians. Back to the broom – that is some cleanup!

Jewish weddings feature a lively Israeli dance called the Hora. While the couple holds on to either end of a handkerchief, they are lifted into the air on  their chairs and the dancing continues. Hold on tight so that no one drops you!

Hindu/Indian weddings are  lively affairs that can last up to four days. For a blended family you can go  traditional American for your formal wear but, consider using colorful reds, golds and deep orange for your wedding theme since they signify happiness and prosperity.

Korean weddings serve Kuk soo (noodles), which symbolize long life. To find out if someone is married, ask “Kuk soo mo-gus-soy-oh?” (“Have you eaten noodles yet?”)

Arras In the Mexican tradition, the groom gives the bride thirteen gold coins blessed by the priest. The presentation and acceptance signifies their bond and the coins are saved as a family heirloom. Have you seen the price of gold, lately? …..that is some gift!

If by some chance your family does not have any specific cultural background or no specific way they celebrate rites of passage other than traditional American customs, don’t come unglued when the other party suggests something you’ve never heard of. Open yourself up to new possibilities; the food, the music, the decorations – you may be surprised.

Start your own traditions as well; candle lighting, sand ceremony, even something as simple as writing your own vows or changing the music as you walk down tha aisle can make a huge difference.  Merging families isn’t just about sticking people in the same room and expecting them to get along. It is about making other people feel like they are important, and your actions will speak louder than words.

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

Getting Dressed On Your Wedding Day

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You have probably been able to get dressed all by yourself since you were about 6 years old. Maybe back then you had a little trouble with the shoe laces but, other than that, getting dressed has pretty much been a solo act for the remainder of your life… then comes your wedding day.

Not so long ago, brides, grooms and the wedding party ( including parents) got dressed at their individual homes,  with the photographer snapping pictures throughout  the process to show the transformation for regular citizen to bride (or groom). I’m sure this  still takes place. However,one of the best decisions you can make  is  arrangements to prepare for your wedding on site. Why? I’m glad you asked!

Three compelling reasons to get dressed at the venue and not at home:

#1) Weather. Weather can be your worst nightmare for three reasons: Cold, rain and humidity. In cold temperatures, you will have to purchase something fashionable and attractive to go over the gown so you don’t freeze to death on the way there. Rain will mess up not only your gown but, also your hair, makeup and any chance you have for looking your best. Remember last weekend when buckets of rain were pouring down from the sky? Humidity can frizz or flatten, expand or squash … almost every hair type falls prey to humidity. It will also cause your gown to wrinkle easily since there is more moisture in the air.

#2) Wrinkles. Speaking of wrinkles, the men will get wrinkled pants from sitting, the bridesmaids gowns will most likely need to be re-steamed and any silk bridal gown will be a wrinkled mess after traveling even a short distance after being seated in a vehicle… even for a short time.

#3) Time– Getting ready at home provides you with a false sense of time; you are never in a hurry until you realize you are late. Getting ready at the church or ceremony site will keep you mindful that the clock is ticking.

Instead of worrying about these inconveniences, plan on getting dressed at the place where the ceremony will occur.

-Make arrangements in advance for a dressing area that is spacious and  have refreshments on hand.

-Have your hair and makeup done prior to getting dressed.

– Allow extra time for conditions like humidity which may require additional products for your hair and makeup.

-Rent, borrow or buy a steamer  to do touch ups on gowns and tuxedos. An iron will work on some fabrics but gowns with pickup skirts and layers of tulle will need to be steamed.

– Hire or appoint someone as your dresser. If your bridal salon offers this service, it is well worth it. They can steam, button, zip, fluff, adjust and inspect the bridal party so that everyone walks down the aisle perfectly coiffed and put together.

You will never regret the decision to get dressed at the site where things will take place. You will have more room, less distractions, and an added bonus is that the photographer can capture images of both male and female members preparing for the wedding simultaneously.

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

 

Kids and Weddings – Yes or No?

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The best part about your wedding is having everyone you love in one place at one time. Aunts, uncles, cousins, best friends and (may times) their significant others. People with whom you have shared experiences, and looking forward to adding this to your list of fond memories. Then, the subject of kids comes up. The subject of children at weddings is a buzzkill for almost everyone …with or without children.

People with children don’t understand why you don’t want their little darlings around, why they have to exclude their children (part of the family) from a family gathering. They do not always want to leave their children out of the celebration and if there is travel involved, how long do they have to make arrangements for their children’s well-being? They consider it a huge inconvenience and some parents will be resentful.

But, some people with children don’t always want to travel with them or take them to a fancy event. They would like to have a night out without worrying about who ate their vegetables and making sure someone uses the right spoon. No highchairs, no temper tantrums, no whining…just a night out with your spouse and a glass (or two) of chardonnay.

People without children would often prefer you leave them at home, find a sitter and be done with it. They haven’t bonded with children, they don’t need or want the worry of children ruining their event with bad behavior,  out of control, touching things that don’t need to be touched. They are not as enamored with your children as you are.

Buzzkill.

Points to consider:

Kids are fun. they dance and laugh and eat cake. They will be all dressed up and probably not eat too much, anyway.

If you are paying $100 per person for dinner, how can you justify spending this much one someone who would probably rather eat McNuggets?

Kids are noisy – what if they can’t keep quiet during the ceremony?

Kids are messy. They will probably have filthy hands and want to touch the wedding gown or other things that don’t need to  be touched.

There is also the age thing: What is the cut off? There is a big difference between a 17 yr old and a 4 yr old.

The simple fact is that if you don’t want children at your wedding, state it on the invitation and make sure you are prepared for the fallout. If you are allowing children at your wedding, state it on the invitation and be prepared for the fallout. Either way you are not going to make everyone happy.

Make your decision (as a couple) and move on, you have nothing to explain and no explaining will make a difference, anway. It is your wedding.

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

 

Paying It Forward – Wedding Style

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If you’re like me, the day after a large gathering at your home there is always tons of leftovers and things that are going to potentially go to waste. If there is that much extra just at my house, imagine how much goes to waste after every wedding, at every venue, every single time. I think about those things.

I know I am not alone, especially since there are the David Rothsteins of the world who have the ability to take action… and do just that. David, of the award-winning David Rothstein Music began a program to honor his grandparents called “Share Your Love” and since April 2008 has donated over 4,000 floral arrangements to local nursing homes, post-wedding. The story is inspiring and amusing, it’s worth the read. https://drsmusic.com/sharelove.html

However, you don’t have to be an industry insider or a renowned music professional in Chicago to take part in this recycling extravaganza. Here’s how you can do something good and ‘share the love’ yourself:

First, this is not something the bride and groom could or should physically handle. Appoint a wedding ambassador to handle this. Utilize  an event planner, maid of honor, best man or whomever is the most reliable and capable of handling this this task. You can make the arrangements pre-wedding and then sleep better knowing you have given something extra life by donating.

Flowers certainly lift everyone’s spirits, so make arrangements with a nursing home near your venue to either have your flowers dropped off or they may have someone who can pick them up, post-wedding.

Food products can be donated through local food banks or through ‘Feeding America’. If you have a catered affair and the catering company presents you with trays of leftover food, whatever reclamation program you decide will be delighted ! Again, make the arrangements ahead of time and donate whatever you can.  www.feedingamerica.org

Donating Bridal Gowns and bridesmaid dresses is extremely generous and a great way to  give. Gowns can be donated to a variety of organizations which can be seen at https://www.donatemyweddingdress.org/ . If your gown is stained, ripped or damaged you can make other arrangements through  the Mary Madeline project which uses the fabric to make burial garments for stillborn infants. https://marymadelineproject.org .

Whether you choose to focus on donating one item or go all out and give everything you can part with to charity, the feeling of paying it forward is overwhelming. Remember to make all of your arrangements pre-wedding since post-wedding you will be busy writing thank you cards and settling in to your new life and the importance of giving may take a backseat to your daily tasks.

 

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

Sponsored Weddings – Tacky or Tasteful

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From ads on craigslist and eBay begging for sponsors to “C” list celebrities and reality stars getting gratis goods or  magazines paying millions for exclusive photos , sponsored weddings have become not-so-tacky as they once seemed when Star Jones got married in 2004. For those of you who don’t remember Star Jones ( insert ironic joke here), her motive was as follows: in exchange for extolling the virtues of  all of the freebie vendors by name in public at every turn of the conversation and tons of high-profile referrals, Ms. Jones was given the’ Star’ treatment  at  little or no cost. Being a co-host on a highly rated daytime talk show, her salary was beyond what most Americans make in a decade but she opted for the freebie route instead of paying… and a trend was born.

In all fairness celebrities have been getting freebies since there were celebrities. Interesting since those who can afford it the most generally wind up paying the least. Kim Kardashian’s wedding  put Star Jones to shame in terms of cost, viewership and donated goods. In all fairness, the reality star televised event was profitable for every single  sponsor, especially Kim Kardashian (to the tune of millions)….unless of course you are talking about the ‘happily ever after’ part.

For the average bride or groom, the chances of getting that kind of coverage for your wedding is out of the question. For some people it is unthinkable to even speak of having ‘sponsors’ and the idea of asking for anything free is just, well….. tacky (just ask Barbara Walters). However, if you have all the right ingredients and are willing to swallow just a tiny amount of pride, you can get a lot of freebies. There are hundreds of websites offering tips and ideas on how to go about getting sponsors, some veterans even selling their plan in e-book form.

According to Andrea Hermitt of Yahoo.com, there are several tips to get sponsors for your wedding, including:

1. Make a list of everything you will need for your wedding.

2. Plan your wedding well in advance, making sure you have plenty of time to devote to this task.

3. Make plans for a unique wedding that will turn heads.

4. Make your wedding list large (larger weddings are more likely to be sponsored).

5. Create a spectacular wedding website and make it really active to show that you have connections. The knot.com has great templates for wedding websites.

6. Get everything in writing. The last thing you want is a 50 ft banner across the aisle that announces “This wedding is brought to you by Dr.Pepper”. Interestingly enough, most ‘sponsors’ require name placement in the invitation itself. This is tricky and potentially a deal – breaker. Make sure you know what you are agreeing to before you sign on the dotted line .

7. Look for prospective sponsors who are new to the business.

8. Have something valuable to trade with them. Consider your occupation, and what you can trade personally.
 
9. Youtube it! Make a creative video, perhaps a flash mob surrounding your engagement using product placement. Perhaps a commercial parody using your wedding details. Put it on youtube and share it in Facebook.
 
10. Consider making a donation to a charity in sponsor’s names.
The bottom line when looking for sponsors is incentives. What can you offer them that will equal the value of their goods/services? How can you bring customers to their business in a positive way? Some call it sponsors, but essentially it is bartering.
 
Whether you are paying full price or getting everything for free, make sure to check out each business you are dealing with; either by referrals, the BBB or whatever resource you generally use because unfortunately,you get what you pay for. 
 
-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

Making Wedding Favors Count!

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Take-home favors have  been a staple at weddings for decades. A simple box of chocolates, a ribbon-tied group of Jordan almonds, a framed photo of the married couple.  The goal is to present your guests with a small token of your appreciation  with  a personal touch. Deciding on what favors to give  in a  creative manner seems to get harder all the time.

Budget – When deciding on what type of  favor to bestow upon your beloved family and friends, first you must consider your budget. Break it down by numbers.  If your budget is $800 and your confirmed guest list is 150 (add an extra 10 for overflow), you will only be able to spend $5 on each favor. It is easy to see how quickly these things add up, right?  Decide on your budget first before you get locked into a pricey favor that you cannot afford. Whenever you can, buy in bulk and do the work of assembling and gift-wrapping your wedding favors yourself.

Stay with one theme – After your budget is squarely in place, determine the style of your event. Vintage, rustic, modern or beach…. whats the overall theme of the day? It is important that your guests feel like you have put some thought into this. Mugs filled with coffee & cocoa samples would be adorable for a winter event but would make no sense at all if presented at a beachfront affair, no matter how well put together they are.

Personalize everything. Whether it is ribbon printed with your names or a simple monogram stamp, the personalized touches add a dramatic flair that definitely gives each gift some “WOW”! Imagine this : You place a candy bar next to each plate at every table…. Big Deal, right? Instead you could place a small box with three hand made truffles, tied with a personalized ribbon and a tiny, monogrammed gift tag that says “For Robin.. we love you”.  Which would you rather receive? Between boutiques, stationery stores and on-line resources, there are hundred (thousands) of places that can help you with rubber stamping and laser printing. Of course  some time, planning and effort go into this but, they are also things you can do as a couple, with your bridesmaids or your family. It can be a fun group activity, unless you are master do-it-yourself-er, then it is called therapy! It is well worth the end result.

Remember, this is a keepsake and a touchstone for you and your guests. It is intended to be a token of your appreciation and not an afterthought. Put as much planning into this as you would any other aspect of your wedding and your guests will be “WOW”-ed by your sincerity and thoughtfulness!

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

Wedding Budget – The Breakdown

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Being on a budget of any kind is tough. Don’t let anyone fool you – EVERYONE is on a budget and whether it is smaller or larger in dollar value, there is an amount that everyone must stay within. The budget for your wedding is no different, it is just a little trickier.

Decide on the total dollar value you are able to spend on your wedding, and divide the finances as follows, using your preferred wedding budget template. Using a template or specific program is a must – and there are dozens available on the internet!

Remember that taxes and tips are included in the total amount:

40 Percent – Estimate to spend 40 percent of a budget on the reception venue. This includes food, beverages, staffing, taxes and tip. 

10 Percent – Ambiance. Flowers, lighting, decorations will add up quickly.

10 Percent – Music for reception; band, DJ or both.

10 Percent – Photography for the entire event. If you plan a photobooth, include it in this category.

10 Percent – Attire. Brides entire ensemble (headpiece, veil accessories, shoes), groom’s entire ensemble – head to toe.

3 Percent – Favors and gifts for guests, including all attendants’ gifts.

3 Percent – Ceremony. This includes marriage license, ceremony flowers, officiant fee,  musicians (different from reception music). This is it’s own category!

3 Percent – Invitations, save-the-date cards, table markers, guest book, place cards, gift card holder, pen that guests will use to sign the guest book, programs… are all included in this category.

3 Percent – Sweets. Cake, sweet table, individual cakes or desserts.

1 Percent – Transportation costs, bus, limousine, however you plan to get your party from point A to point B (here’s to find out more).

The last 7 percent is for ICE. No, not frozen water… In Case of Emergency. Use this money if something suddenly happens and the cost of one of your categories increases. You fell in love with  gown slightly out of your price range, there is an unexpected surcharge or corkage fee or cutting fee. Having an emergency fund  will save you a lot of aggravation.

It is important to remember that every couple’s budget may vary depending on their vendor preferences and that each couple may have different priorities when it comes to their wedding. You can set yours accordingly, borrowing a percent from one category to make up in an other.

However, there is only 100% so, make sure your figures add up!!!

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

How to Spend your Wedding Budget article photo

 

 

Sunday Weddings

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Labor Day and Memorial Day are two very popular dates for weddings because of the 3 day weekend. The most popular day of the 3 day weekend is Sunday and everyone knows that booking a Sunday wedding saves plenty of  money.

Need a few more reasons?

The three day weekend also gives your guests an additional day to recover from the festivites (Monday) or travel before returning to work on Tuesday. Most people don’t have to taky any time off!

Sometimes airfare and hotels can be a bit more expensive when traveling on a holiday weekend but, if you book the travel together (encourage everyone to use the same travel agent) there may be some discount.

Out of town guests may want to use the 3 day weekend to have a mini vacation to rest, relax and sight-see. A happy guest is…. a happy guest!

The weather is usually warm and pleasant in both May and September, many times avoiding heatwaves and torrential downpours (depending upon your geographical location).

One last bonus: you can use an Americana theme without being corny. Labor day is the day that is designated to celebrate the workers, the people who built this country with their blood, sweat and tears. The  men and women who toiled in unsafe conditions decades before Norma Rae put down her work and held up that now famous sign. Celebrating America’s workers, and America herself is a great way to begin your life together.

Weigh the options, take all things into consideration and see if  a Labor Day Wedding is right for you!

 

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

 

 

 

 

Surprise!! It’s a Wedding!

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Most brides are so excited to share wedding planning with their friends and family that it is hard to imagine keeping the whole thing a secret until the last minute. But, this is exactly what some couples do when a surprise wedding is in store for their guests. 

The legality is that only the guests can be surprised at a wedding since both parties being married need to have a valid marriage license in order to have the union recognized by the state.

Surprising your guests may seem like a great, fun idea. However, there are some guests who will not be pleased to be left  out of the planning process. Parents, siblings, and close friends may not find it amusing and much older guests who have weak hearts probably don’t  find a surprise as much fun as they used to.

Try to incorporate another celebration. Mark Zuckerberg and Priscilla Chan told their guests they were coming for a graduation party, only to find out it was really their wedding. Surprise!

Keep the whole affair low key. Guests will feel they would have liked to dress up a little more unless it is a casual, relaxed atmosphere.

Make sure you tell your guests there will be some sort of special entertainment at a certain time. Party guests often arrive late… you don’t want them to miss out!

 Have a DJ or Emcee announce what is about to happen and then give some time for the guests to digest the news, chat and laugh.

People want surprise weddings for many different reasons. It can be a way of holding the reins over what happens, it may be a way to keep the costs down, for others they just don’t want any fuss; and well, some people just like to stage a big surprise. As a guest, it is your job to honor this and not to judge, to be happy for them and not make it about you.

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo

 

Pregnancy and Weddings…Before or After?

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It hasn’t been that long ago that when a woman found herself in a ‘family way’, the wedding date was moved up and the due date was a mystery. By ‘not that long ago’, I mean in my lifetime. Thankfully that practice is nearly outdated, for about a dozen really good reasons… mostly because nobody cares if you are pregnant or not. Now, the problem is not that you have to get married, but if you want to get married… then should you do it before or after the baby is born? It’s time to think about diy homemade pregnancy test.

There are some advantages to getting married while you are pregnant; namely your hair and skin will probably be more radiant than ever and you will most likely have what is commonly referred to as a ‘glow’. It will show up in the pictures and you will love looking at photos of yourself all pregnant and beautiful!   I was 6 months pregnant when my husband and I exchanged vows. That’s just how it worked out for us. There was  no shotgun, no lying about the due date and no surprises. We were adults and did what we wanted. If I had waited, I may not have ever wanted to do a wedding of any sort because once the baby was born, I was too busy with my glorious son to worry about place cards and table settings and floral arrangements. You may feel the same way!

For others, waiting until the baby is born to have a wedding is the right choice for several reasons; You can fit into a more traditional wedding gown after some or all of the baby weight comes off, you can plan your dream wedding and not worry about morning sickness, swollen feet or being exhausted during the process, you don’t have to worry about hormones and mood swings during this stressful time when you are already stressed out about being pregnant in the first place!!!

Either way, before or after, the choice is up to you. No need to fudge on dates or make excuses because, when it comes to love and marriage – the truth shall set you free!!

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago