Kids and Weddings – Yes or No?

The best part about your wedding is having everyone you love in one place at one time. Aunts, uncles, cousins, best friends and (may times) their significant others. People with whom you have shared experiences, and looking forward to adding this to your list of fond memories. Then, the subject of kids comes up. The subject of children at weddings is a buzzkill for almost everyone …with or without children.

People with children don’t understand why you don’t want their little darlings around, why they have to exclude their children (part of the family) from a family gathering. They do not always want to leave their children out of the celebration and if there is travel involved, how long do they have to make arrangements for their children’s well-being? They consider it a huge inconvenience and some parents will be resentful.

But, some people with children don’t always want to travel with them or take them to a fancy event. They would like to have a night out without worrying about who ate their vegetables and making sure someone uses the right spoon. No highchairs, no temper tantrums, no whining…just a night out with your spouse and a glass (or two) of chardonnay.

People without children would often prefer you leave them at home, find a sitter and be done with it. They haven’t bonded with children, they don’t need or want the worry of children ruining their event with bad behavior,  out of control, touching things that don’t need to be touched. They are not as enamored with your children as you are.


Points to consider:

Kids are fun. they dance and laugh and eat cake. They will be all dressed up and probably not eat too much, anyway.

If you are paying $100 per person for dinner, how can you justify spending this much one someone who would probably rather eat McNuggets?

Kids are noisy – what if they can’t keep quiet during the ceremony?

Kids are messy. They will probably have filthy hands and want to touch the wedding gown or other things that don’t need to  be touched.

There is also the age thing: What is the cut off? There is a big difference between a 17 yr old and a 4 yr old.

The simple fact is that if you don’t want children at your wedding, state it on the invitation and make sure you are prepared for the fallout. If you are allowing children at your wedding, state it on the invitation and be prepared for the fallout. Either way you are not going to make everyone happy.

Make your decision (as a couple) and move on, you have nothing to explain and no explaining will make a difference, anway. It is your wedding.

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago


How To Have A Great Wedding – According to Children

A hot debate is almost guaranteed when the topic is children and weddings. Should you invite them? Should you have them in the wedding? The arguments are endless!  What no one ever considers is what the children actually think a wedding is all about. For a few laughs, I have compiled a short list of children’s quotes on weddings and marriage, including my own 10 and 12 year old’s views on the whole affair, along with some of their friend’s responses.

When should you get married?  “No person really decides before they grow up who they’re going to marry. God decides it all way before and you get to find out later who you are stuck with.” (Kirsten, age 10) Now, that’s a revelation!

What does a groom do on his wedding day? “Take a shower and put on a nice suit so I can be the best man.” (Evan, age 11) I guess the groom is the best man, after all!

What does the bride do on her wedding day? “Kiss the groom, eat cake and then put your dress on.” (Olivia, age 8 ) In that order?

What is a wedding? “Weddings are mostly when the bride walks up to the husband, they have a piano player and they say stuff about if you want to get married or not. If you say “I do” and the bride says “I do” then you are married and it’s all over.” (Frankie, age 10) Sometimes thats exactly right.

How do you plan a wedding? “You pick a best man and a flower girl and go to church.” (Jacob, age 12) Interesting… no bride?

What is the best part about having a wedding? “Everybody smells good and there is enough cake for everyone.” (Alan, age 7)  Cake is definitely a bonus.

How do you decide who you will invite to your wedding? “The groom, my kids and both of our teachers.” (Pam, age 9) Don’t forget your classmates!

Follow the advice of these kids and you are guaranteed to have a great wedding!

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago



Children In Your Wedding

People have children. Your siblings, your friends, some of them may have children, you may even have your own child. Some people have children before they are married and some people marrying for the second time have several children… remember the Brady Bunch? Including children in your wedding ceremony can make a lovely experience for everyone if handled properly.

Give the children age appropriate tasks. 2 yr olds can be very unpredictable and asking them to do more than carry a basket of flowers or a ring pillow may be beyond their grasp.

Hire someone to help. Check with local elementary or pre-schools to see if any of the teaching aides would be interested in doing some ‘Nanny” duty. The parents may want to actually enjoy themselves and not spend all day worrying if the kids are going to do the right thing. Remember – teachers have been trained how to handle precarious situations and you will need the extra help at  the rehearsal as well as the wedding.

Practice, Practice, Practice. Older children like tweens and teenagers might be able to recite a poem or do a reading. Make sure they attend the rehearsal dinner so you can do a sound check. even the little ones need to practice how to handle their tasks… no matter how simple it seems to you.

Back up Plan. Kids of school age are notorious for bringing home every germ in the world. Be prepared that one of  the kids may come down with pink eye, an ear infection, strep throat or even just a bad case of nerves. These things can throw your plans severely out of whack if you are unprepared.

Remember, they are not small people, they are children. Things that seem simple to you are much harder for them. On top of it, they do not understand the complexity of each and every detail. Sure, they want to be a part of this beautiful thing but can be frightened, nervous and when that happens, mistakes are made. If you are not ready to have a child forget his or her line, drop the basket, spill something (or whatever) then, you probably shouldn’t have children in your wedding.  If you can go with the flow and overlook the tiny obstacles that may lie ahead, you will create a memory that they will share with you for a  lifetime…. not to mention the irresistible photos!

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago