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First, Second and Third Weddings…Is There a Difference?

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With the recent gossip ( I won’t call it news) that Britney Spears is experiencing a slight case of cold feet in regard to her second (actually third) wedding, it seems like a good time to consider previous weddings. In this case, it is when one party has been married before and the other has not.

Tradition dictates that the second wedding should be less formal than your first but, lets say it’s your second wedding and  your fiance’s first trip to the altar. No matter what the circumstances were that led to the demise of the first marriage, it has nothing to do with this union. Whether it was a mutual split, or a nasty divorce, the outcome of that marriage is not to be considered when planning this wedding.

However, there are some teeny, tiny rules of etiquette you may want to consider:

If you or your partner have been married multiple times, you may want to consider a low-key affair. Realistically, how many grand scale weddings do you need? Opt for a destination wedding or something with just close friends and family.

If this is the first marriage for one of you and not for the other, make sure that you don’t miss out on the feeling that you had a wedding. Sometimes brides or grooms regret not having some sort of event to share with their friends and family. Do not ever deny your intended the joy of declaring their love for you in front of family and friends simply because you have ‘been there, done that.” Instead, explain to t hem honestly what you are feeling and work together to make it sepcial and unique.

Having a traditional bridal shower with gifts and games for a repeat bride might seem redundant. Instead, try a spa shower with manicures, pedicures and facials for only the nearest and dearest friends.

As for gifts, this is uncharted territory but, I will go on a  limb and say that anyone who has been married once or twice before probably doesn’t need very many household items. If they are registered, follow the registry exactly and do not stray from the list. Many couples are choosing a cash registry which lets them use the funds for whatever they want.

Exes. Ugh… the dreaded question of whether to invite the ex. If you have a pleasant relationship, if you have children and a pleasant relationship, you get it, right? Never invite anyone who might cause turmoil. If you and your fiance have both been married twice before, that is 4 exes and their dates that might cause a scene… 8 people who could cause potential drama. That is, unless you are all on very good terms. I can’t imagine.

The bottom line – don’t avoid having a wedding just because you already had one. But, be respectful of the situation and modify things when necessary. It is considered uncouth to host a lavish wedding when you have been down the aisle repeatedly. But, that never stopped Elizabeth Taylor or Tom Cruise, who seems to get more and more lavish with each trip down the aisle!!!

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

tom cruise katie holmes wedding

 

How To Have A Great Wedding – According to Children

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A hot debate is almost guaranteed when the topic is children and weddings. Should you invite them? Should you have them in the wedding? The arguments are endless!  What no one ever considers is what the children actually think a wedding is all about. For a few laughs, I have compiled a short list of children’s quotes on weddings and marriage, including my own 10 and 12 year old’s views on the whole affair, along with some of their friend’s responses.

When should you get married?  “No person really decides before they grow up who they’re going to marry. God decides it all way before and you get to find out later who you are stuck with.” (Kirsten, age 10) Now, that’s a revelation!

What does a groom do on his wedding day? “Take a shower and put on a nice suit so I can be the best man.” (Evan, age 11) I guess the groom is the best man, after all!

What does the bride do on her wedding day? “Kiss the groom, eat cake and then put your dress on.” (Olivia, age 8 ) In that order?

What is a wedding? “Weddings are mostly when the bride walks up to the husband, they have a piano player and they say stuff about if you want to get married or not. If you say “I do” and the bride says “I do” then you are married and it’s all over.” (Frankie, age 10) Sometimes thats exactly right.

How do you plan a wedding? “You pick a best man and a flower girl and go to church.” (Jacob, age 12) Interesting… no bride?

What is the best part about having a wedding? “Everybody smells good and there is enough cake for everyone.” (Alan, age 7)  Cake is definitely a bonus.

How do you decide who you will invite to your wedding? “The groom, my kids and both of our teachers.” (Pam, age 9) Don’t forget your classmates!

Follow the advice of these kids and you are guaranteed to have a great wedding!

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

 

 

Honeymoon – Now or Later?

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According to industry statistics, an estimated 38% of couples honeymoon immediately after the wedding, about 27% honeymoon within 3 months and the remaining 35% opt for no honeymoon at all. No honeymoon? Hard to believe but,  destination weddings add up to a whopping 19%, which leaves a small percentage of couples who are either unable or unwilling to get away.

Now – The best reason to get away immediately after the wedding is to decompress and relax. Stress has been building since the engagement and with all of the preparations and details under your belt, disappearing with your new bride or groom is about the best thing you can do if it is at all possible. The Thank You cards can wait until you get back. Or better yet … take them with you and send them with an exotic postmark.

Later – There are many reasons that couples may choose to delay their honeymoon; unable to get time off from their job or other commitment, illness in the family, or perhaps weather concerns. Be careful, waiting more than three months after the wedding causes most couples to focus on other matters that need their financial attention, like using their honeymoon fund for a new car or  a down-payment on a house.

Destination – The upside of a destination wedding is the built-in honeymoon. It is a much smaller, more intimate gathering and you will only be able to invite your closest friends and family. The down side is that only about 50% of your invitees will be able to make it.

Whether you honeymoon now, or later or choose no honeymoon at all,  a really great idea is to spend your first night as a married couple in a luxurious hotel, making sure they know you are newlyweds so you can bask in the glory of the honeymoon suite!

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

 

 

Managing Your Finances – Together

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Many couples today are paying for their own wedding, which makes it no great surprise that they would start their new life together in debt. Debt is that nasty four letter word that no one likes, we all fear and is hard to dig yourself out of unless you are prepared.

Not surprisingly, it is how you handle the debt that determines whether you will be a) successful at removing it and b) your marriage can weather the debt storm. According to financial guru, Suze Orman, money issues play a significant role in 90 percent of divorces.

Tips on managing debt  from Suze Orman:

Budget – The purpose of a budget is to control your spending. Think of it as a diet for your bank account; you cannot charge more than you make or your debt will weigh you down.  Be honest with each other about spending and never go over budget without giving the other person a heads up.

Joint accounts – Having a joint account to pay household bills is a good idea. But, each person should have their own separate account as well.

Equal Contribution – Each person should contribute the same percent of their income to the household. If you make $100,000 per year and your spouse makes $50,000 per year, your contribution will be double. Percent is the key word. If you don’t make equal money, you can’t contribute the exact same dollar amount.

Control – You should always be allowed to control your own money. If your spouse insists that you relinquish all of your money into a joint account and you have to ask for money, this is a recipe for disaster.

In most relationships, there is one person who is a spender and one is a saver. If you can combine your strengths and weaknesses for the greater good, this is a terrific combination. If you are both spenders, you should seek financial guidance early in your relationship so you don’t become a statistic.

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

Jewelry For The Groom

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When you think of jewelry for the groom, you usually think of cuff links,  and a wedding band. But, for modern men there is so much more to offer …..

Nearly 40% of all men have at least one pierced ear and 28% have both ears pierced. Although they may not be interested in a pair of dangling sparklers, your wedding is the perfect occasion for a nice diamond stud.

A handsome watch does more than just tell time. It tells people you have style and class and that you care about being on time.

As with any piece of jewelry, a bracelet is a form of self expression. Large sturdy links of gold or platinum or a cuff  with clean, masculine lines, bracelets are not just for women anymore!

Looking for something a little more expressive than standard studs on your tuxedo shirt? Consider button covers. Available in many shapes, sizes, monogrammed, precious and  semi-precious stones, there is something for everyone.

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

Chairs – Not Just For Covering!

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For some time, chairs have been a vital part of the wedding and reception decor. Now, more than ever, brides are opting to rent beautiful chairs rather than cover up old ones with fabric, ribbon, bows, etc. Yes, you can use chair covers quite effectively and dramatically, the point is that there are so many less-fussy, original and creative chair choices in 2012, you can get just about anything you want!

Chiavari Chairs – Pronounced “kee-ah’-vah-ree” , these chairs are named after the coastal Italian town of Chiavari from which the design of the chair originates. Designed in 1807 by craftsman Giuseppe Gaetano Descalzi, these chairs have become a staple at special events all over the world. What makes it so special? Design, construction and comfort. The famous chair has even been re-imagined by modern designer, Gio Ponti. Available in several colors including gold, silver, black, white and even clear lucite, these chairs are used everywhere from weddings to the White House, Grandma’s kitchen to the Grammy Awards. With this chair you will need no tulle, bows or covers, just make sure you rent the pads, too or your guests might not be as comfortable as they would like.

Wooden Folding Chairs – A beautiful white, black or wooden folding chair will make an outdoor ceremony look even better with just a touch of color. The simple fact that there is uniformity and clean lines give the overall look impact and style.

Aluminum Chairs – Having your reception in a loft or art gallery requires a special kind of chair. You will want something that speaks to the venue; chic, modern and  stylish. Consider brushed aluminum chairs, there are even some very nice options in the folding chair family that offer a casual, elegant look.

 

If you decide to rent chairs for the wedding and/or reception – always make sure you know what you are renting before you sign anything. Go to the company and touch the chairs, look at the quality, make sure it is not a copy or substitute. Cutting corners on something as simple as the chairs may seem like a good idea at first, until your guests are faced with looking at one of these:

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

 

Weddings for Super Fans!

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At every sporting event there are the people who paint their faces, color their hair, run on the field and probably have at least one room in their house completely decorated in their favorite team colors, complete with memorabilia. If your toilet paper has the logo of an opposing team- you are what we (on the outside) call a “Super Fan”. So, how does that translate to your wedding? It’s totally up to you.

Over The Top- Too much for some people is not nearly enough for others. If you want to get married on the football field and serve nachos at a tailgate reception, it is up to you. Don’t expect everyone to think  it is adorable or clever. If you are a Super Fan, do what you do best and don’t worry about what others will say.

groom's cake!

Less is More– Adding touches of your team’s colors, interesting elements of the sport itself or even posing for pictures can be quite fun without going crazy. Choose a team jersey for ‘autographs’ in lieu of a guest book, have a Chicago Bears Grooms cake, or a even cute little cake topper that shows your team spirit. Pinned Image

 

As we all know, it is easy to get carried away in a theme. It starts out fine and then after you stand back and look at your inspiration board, it looks more like a kids birthday party than a wedding. To avoid going overboard, stay away from anything too matchy-matchy, keep sports themed accessories to a minimum and don’t wear anything with a logo!

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

Wedding Movies – What’s your Favorite?

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I love movies, comedy, drama, suspense, action – all kinds of movies, even CGI cartoons! The reason I love movies is because they take me to a place that doesn’t exist, except in someone’s imagination, whether it is romance, laughter or thrills. It doesn’t have to be technically possible or factually correct (unless it is a documentary) and as a result, I get lost in someone else’s dream and I love it!

In no particular order, I have compiled a list of my favorite wedding or wedding-related movies.

The Other Sister. Love comes in all forms. This super sweet romance is also packed with a touch of laugh out loud comedy and drama. Unfortunately, you kind of hate the mom at the end of the movie.

In & Out. Comedy, comedy, comedy. There are no less than ten parts of this movie where I actually laugh out loud every time. The  Barbra Streisand references are some of the best lines in the movie and Kevin Kline really sells himself in the dance scene halfway through the movie.

Wedding Crashers. The only thing I love more than a super-elegant, East Coast, society wedding is some really raunchy and inappropriate humor. This movie has both…. and a touch of Will Ferrell.

Monster-In-Law. I can relate to this mother’s plight, “There is no one good enough for my son”. But, the levels she goes to embarrass and provoke this poor unsuspecting bride are above and beyond even Norman Bates’ mother.  Ridiculous? Yes! Loved it? Absolutely!

Mamma Mia! Bad singing, some outrageous outfits, unbelievable scenery and ABBA. I forgive you, Pierce Brosnan. This movie was cute, funny, and has a happy ending,  AWWWWW.

My Best Friend’s Wedding. Although the story line bugged me a little (a woman chasing after a man the day before his wedding), the entire movie was saved by Rupert Everett. Rehearsal Dinner scene still one of my all time favorites in any movie, wedding or not.

  What are your favorite wedding movies ?

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

 

 

Ready to Renew Your Vows?

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Whether you have been married 10 or 50 years, couples are deciding that renewing their vows is something that not only re-energizes their relationship but, also provides an opportunity to have a second wedding… this time hold the stress!

The best reasons to renew your vows, in no particular order:

1- You can have the wedding you want. Maybe your parents planned everything, maybe you eloped, either way this time it is all about you as a couple and what you want. Make it as low-key or grand as you like.

2-You have recently gone through a life-changing experience. Especially when one partner or another has survived a serious illness or a life threatening experience, renewing your vows is a way to express your thanks to one another for keeping the vows in the first place.

3- A Milestone! 25th anniversary is a big deal. 50th anniversary is a huge deal. Allowing your family and friends to share in your celebration is a gift in itself.

4- You wish to recite the vows in a house of worship. Whether your faith has changed or you eloped the first time, reciting your vows in a religious environment would be a terrific way to renew your vows!
If you decide to renew your vows, remember that it doesn’t have to be anything other than a stress-free celebration of your commitment and love for one another.

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

 

Wedding Tattoos – Tired or Tasteful?

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Like it or not, tattoos are on the rise!  Once reserved for the few who dared, tattoos have become the latest must have for everyone from proud parents to teachers.  Although this is hardly  surprising news, it is surprising that  there are so many people opting to display their tattoos proudly where they were once frowned upon.

Couples Tattoos – Having a tattoo of one another’s name is hardly enough. Couples are having wedding bands, portraits, or half of a verse tattooed, with the other half of the verse  tattooed on the other person. They are being labeled adorable by some, reckless by others. Of course they can always be modified…. just ask Angelina Jolie.

White Ink Tattoos – For those who prefer a more subtle approach you can select a white ink tattoo. Rather than pure white, the tattoo shows up translucent so on lighter skin it is not as visible but on darker skin is quite striking. You can thank Lindsay Lohan for starting this trend!

 

 

It takes a minimum of two weeks for a tattoo to heal completely and some sources suggest a month as an appropriate healing period. If you plan to have a  tattoo before your wedding, make sure you do it well in advance of the wedding.

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago