Changing Your Name – For Better Or Worse

Taking your spouse’s last name can be as simple or as difficult as you want it to be. The most important thing is to have your facts in place and agree 100% on this before announcing it to family because (trust me) you will be questioned about it. 

If you do decide to go a less traditional route (other than changing your last name to his last name) there are options.

 How about a compromise?  You could use your maiden name as your new middle name. In fact, many women of a certain social stature have used their mother’s maiden name for the children’s middle names for decades. Rose Fitzgerald gave her son John Kennedy her maiden name as his middle name. His daughter, Caroline has her mother’s maiden name, Bouvier, as her middle name and the media rarely (if ever) refers to her as Mrs. Schlossberg, even though that is exactly who she is.  You can also consider changing your name legally and keeping your maiden name professionally.

Pros  of changing your name:
-It is easier. Maybe not today or tomorrow but, when children become involved there are always complications. It is easier when you all have the same last name.

-Having the same name as your new family makes you feel more a part of things. You are already bonded with your family,  use this as a stepping stone to bond with his.

– Your last name is complicated, un-friendly, hard to pronounce or you just don’t like it. Now is a good time to fix that.

One thing is for sure, this is a decision that needs to be made by the engaged couple and no one else. Who cares if Aunt Fanny doesn’t like it? It is your name, your life, your marraige, your choice. Once you (as a couple) have reached your decision, announce it to all and stick to it. If you are one of the 10% of women to choose to keep their maiden name, you may encounter some rough road but, stick to your guns. If you are one of the 90% who decide that change is okay, keep doodling.

Cons of name change:

– You have established yourself in the workplace and changing your name could likely become complicated and may make it difficult to re-establish your reputation. Harldy anyone will remember Elizabeth Warner but, she certainly made headlines as Elizabeth Taylor. There was  never a need for her to go by any other name and you may agree.

– You may feel like you have lost your identity. You have had this name for your entire life and now you are not the same person, anymore.

– It goes against your personal principle that a woman is expected to change her name and a man is not.

 Changing your last name is technically easy. Once you have the forms from the Social Security office you can get a new Social Security Card (the number is still the same) and then a new drivers license. After that, you are basically done. Take your new forms of identification with you to the bank and have your name changed on the account, call your credit card companies, and anyone with whom you have credit (mortgage, student loans, etc) and you are finished. If that is too complicated, you can buy a Name Change kit.

Getting used to a new name is a different story; you may have doodled your merged names a hundred times in your wedding planner, but having someone refer to you as “Mrs. Frulla” for the first time will stop you in your tracks.  You may ask youself why you had to change your name and he didn’t.  In reality, you didn’t.

 

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

 

Glorious Garnishes For Captivating Cocktails

Having signature drinks at your event, whether they are alcoholic or not, has become a must have for an interesting, lively affair. Signature cocktails are the epitome of fun and creativity so, the garnishes and accoutrement you use to adorn them should be something that also shows your flair, fun and festivity!

How about fruity ice cubes and cocktail stirrers for summertime drinks? Blueberries, strawberries, raspberries will all light up a lemonade or sweet tea as well as a wine spritzer!

 

Why not serve chocolate drinks with an extra dash of chocolate ….  Try decorating the edge of martini glasses with chocolate sprinkles for a chocolate martini. A dash of mint? Why not!

 

Multi-colored sprinkles add color to a wide variety of drinks from shots to fruit punch!

 

Vodka-soaked, chilled cranberries add zest and pizazz to a Cranberry-tini or even a simple glass of champagne!

Your guests will adore a peppermint cocktail with a peppermint garnish for a winter wedding:

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Last but, not least – make sure the glasses are the right size and shape for the drink and the garnishes. It will make all the difference in the world!

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-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

Signature Cocktails Made Simple

Signature cocktails have become such a hot-ticket item for wedding receptions and other cocktail hour events that it has actually opened up an entirely new occupation: Cocktail designers. Once reserved for the extremely well-to-do, signature cocktails have been on the rise for several years and are skyrocketing to the top of the ‘must-have’ list for brides and grooms to be. According to the wedding channel, a ‘signature cocktail’  is “a custom designed drink (usually contains alcohol, but doesn’t have to) served at cocktail hours and wedding receptions.” How do you decide on the drink? Here are some hints and tips to make finding your signature cocktail easier.

 Bride AND  Groom need to work on this with either your caterer or bartender at your venue to create one together, although some couples insist on one for each of them. 

Choose one based on what kind of drinks you like. Although there are  a finite number of combinations, you can always add a unique garnish. If you love Hypnotique or Vodka or Limoncello, those should be the first ingredients you consider.

Choose a drink based on color if you want the drink to match your wedding theme. It may not be an exact match but if it is close enough it will make a huge impact. Imagine rows of  martini glasses filled with blue cocktails in a sea of blue flowers and bridesmaids gowns.

Make sure the ingredients are in season and readily available, especially if they are hard to find. Technically you don’t have to select the drink based on season but, a  pink-lemonade based drink will fare better in the summer months, just as an apple cider flavored drink is more suited for fall.

The best thing you can do is name it after yourself or something fun your guests will enjoy. Adding “-tini” or “-rita” is always fun especially if it illiterates nicely but, it must have the key ingredients of the base drink to be called that. Now that I think of it, ” Penny-tini” has a really nice ring to it!

Share the details with everyone; adding the recipe  to your wedding website, announcing it on place-cards and spreading the word in other ways always make a great conversation starter.

Any way you serve it, the signature cocktail has made it’s place at weddings and is hotter than ever before.

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

 

 

 

Remembering St. Valentine

For many years I thought Valentine’s Day was a Hallmark holiday, one that was manufactured so that greeting card companies and florists could make us buy things we didn’t need and candy sales would soar. It wasn’t until I was an adult that I came to know the history associated with this holiday and the legend behind all of the cards and flowers.

Folklore presents a tale of a priest named Valentine (later to become a martyred Saint), marrying lovers in secret, against the wishes of Roman Emperor Claudius II who ordained his soldiers remain single and celibate in order to maintain their focus. There is an additional modern embellishment to this story, provided by American Greetings to History.com, and widely repeated despite having no historical basis whatsoever. On the evening before Valentine was to be executed, he wrote the first “valentine” card himself, addressed to the blind daughter of his jailor, Asterius, signing the card “From your Valentine.” From that point, ‘Valentines’ were sent in secret as expressions of love by those who could not openly proclaim their feelings for various reasons.

In elementary school, we exchange valentine card with everyone in the entire class, for those who are home-schooled- this is a fairly easy task. In middle school, students send lollipops or messages to friends and crushes either anyonymously or as a blatant show of affection. In high sc’hool it starts to get complicated and only the ‘couples’ really get into the celebration unless there is some really burning desire to use this as the day to come clean and profess your undying love. As we get older, Valentine’s Day becomes the day we send our loved ones greetings; mother, father, grandparents, dear friends, etc.

In the dating world, Valentine’s Day is the day to pull out all the stops and possibly pop the question. In fact, about 10% of all engagements occur on this holiday. More than that, many couples decide to get married on this holiday for a myriad of reasons: it is a very romantic day to join together in matrimony, there is a lot of history associated with this holiday, and it’s an easy date to remember.

For whatever reason you get engaged or married on this holiday, remember the sacrifices of those who gave their lives for someone they love, the ones who kept their love in secret and for those who could never join together for whatever reason. Openly express your love for those around you, show them you care with thoughts and actions, a homemade card, a diamond necklace or whatever speaks to you.

Happy Valentine’s Day

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Matrimony & Maternity – Surprise!

Not so long ago when an engaged woman found herself  pregnant, she had two options; move up the wedding date or push it back.  Lately, brides have decided that being pregnant is not such a big deal, you don’t have to rush to the altar and lie about the due date any more – just forge ahead, find a flattering gown and smile ( knowing that you are carrying a much more precious package behind the bouquet than anyone could ever imagine). The number of brides-to-be who are walking down the aisle with a bun in the oven has increased 6.2% in the past year alone and there is good reason: For women who are getting married older, the fear of not being able to conceive (tick tock) can send them into a frenzy so generally they stop using any form of birth control the minute the wedding planning process begins. The invitations are selected, the venue is booked and presto! The stick turns blue.

So how do you plan a wedding when you are pregnant? In addition to modifying the style of your wedding gown, there are a few other things to remember when you are an expectant bride:

Shoes – your feet may not swell until the final month, then again there is a chance they may start changing right away. Find a comfortable shoe with a heel height you can manage. An extra pair of equally comfortable shoes is advisable.

Gown – Find a gown that has a forgiving style.  Empire waist gowns can camouflage a pregnancy, a strapless mermaid gown … not so much! You don’t have to sacrifice your own personal style, if you want something non-traditional – it’s out there. Designers began including maternity options in their collections many years ago since trying to hide a pregnancy with a too tight dress is a mistake. Remember that you MUST talk to your bridal consultant at the time of purchase regarding your condition so he or she can help you select a style that has room for growth.

Rest – Wedding planning is stressful and being pregnant is an emotional time. You may find yourself on an emotional (hormone-induced) roller-coaster at times. Rest whenever you can and don’t sweat the small stuff.

Smile – Trying to hide a pregnancy until after the wedding is ridiculous and archaic. It is really your business to tell everyone in the way you see fit. Being pregnant can be the happiest time of your life and if anyone starts to ask too many questions  just smile and walk away. Babes are a cause for celebration, not shame. Tell people as much as you want them to know but don’t be surprised if some people make unflattering comments since we all know not everyone has enough good sense to keep their opinions to themselves.

Support – This is time when you will need your most trusted and wise family and friends to support you. Ask them for their help, include them in the process as much or as little as you like. There will be one day when everything seems to go wrong and you will need someone to lift your spirits. Make sure you reach out to your nearest and dearest and don’t try to keep it all inside; it is not healthy for you or the baby!

Speaking from experience, not everyone does things the same way. I got engaged on my honeymoon which was 4 months before our wedding. I gave birth three months after the wedding. If I had to go back in time, I would not change one thing. Being pregnant was not an inconvenience at my wedding, it was truly the happiest time of my life. I ignored all the comments and innuendos, I endured all the ‘shorgun wedding’ jokes with a smile, I married the love of my life and gave birth to my first some shortly after so, I figure – the joke was on them.

The most important thing about your wedding is beginning your lives together as a family and since you will have a head start on the family part, don’t let anyone or anything spoil your happiness.

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

 

 

Urban Legends – Wedding Style!

I love it when I open my email and someone re-cants story that happened and I know before I finish the first line how it is going to end! When the story has been repeated so many times that people begin to actually think it is true. Of course the details change slightly but, everyone knows the end result…. Urban Legend. Where do these things get their start? Some urban legends are like fables and they have an underlying moral; the hair braid legend is to remind parent’s to wash their kids hair at least once a week. Some are made up from what people secretly wish happened; Donald Trump pays off their mortgage. Some are purely  mean-spirited; Barack Obama’s birth certificate is fake. And some some are just pure entertainment; the pregnant turkey comes to mind. Whatever the occasion, there is an urban legend to delight everyone. Since today is Friday 13th I am sharing my favorite wedding urban legends with gamophiles everywhere.

The Fatal Tan is a horrid tale of vanity and stupidity. A bride feels she is too pale to look good for her wedding so she goes to several tanning salons every day for the maximum allottedtime at each salon.  On the fifth day she is found dead, it seems  her organs sunburned from the inside. It is important to note that in some versions of this story the bride is described as a blonde at this exact point in the story… for reasons I am not quite sure. The moral of the story is not to be tan, or not to be vain, or not to be blonde, I guess.

Bride and Seek is not a pleasant story, either. The bride and groom engage in a game of hide and seek at their reception which is being held in a barn, warehouse or wherever and the bride cannot be found. The groom is furious but move son with his life. After a few weeks she is found in an old trunk. She was inebriated, knocked unconscious and died. This is the kind of story you make up to remind the bride and groom not to drink too much. I feel it leaves a lot of unanswered questions: Who has a wedding reception in an abandoned barn or warehouse?  Why was someone cleaning  an abandoned barn or warehouse? If the maid found her in a trunk, why couldn’t the groom or the guests find her?

Rice at Weddings  is another gruesome tale (I’m seeing a pattern, here). Supposedly written by an actual photographer at an actual wedding who saw this first-hand. While at a wedding snapping pictures of the couple leaving the church as all the guests were throwing rice, the photographer immediately noticed  red spots appeared on the bride’s gown. He was able to capture the look of horror on the guest’s faces as nearby birds began ingesting the rice and immediately exploding. Okay, where are the pictures and what kind of rice was it? Exploding rice? Everyone who thinks this is true raise your hand. Everyone put your hands down.

Last but not least – the king or queen of all wedding legends is the Clemson/Mastercard/Disgruntled Bride or Groom legend.You see this legend has enough power to spread from the bride to the groom effortlessly. It can be in Clemson University or anywhere. It can take on a life of its own and be either before, during or after the actual wedding and could also apparently be used for a Mastercard commercial. The most popular version is during the reception, by the groom at Clemson University. Here goes:  A man and woman are married in a lavish ceremony (maybe at Clemson, maybe not) and after (or during) the wedding the groom (or bride)  stands up and thanks everyone for coming and informs them that there is a special gift for them taped under their seat. Everyone has received a manila envelope with 8×10 glossy photos of the bride with the best man or (groom with the maid of honor) in various stages of undress, obviously having an affair. The Mastercard version ends with the tag line: Priceless. I think you get it.

I saved the best for last. This is a brand new one and you may not have even seen or heard this.  I came across the ROYAL wedding photo hoax three days after the  Wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton. It is well-done, even though the pictures are rather fuzzy it renders the feeling of an artsy wedding photo. Not terribly well thought out since the gown, cake and not much else is a match but, adding the Corgis was an especially nice touch.  I will go out on a limb and say the Queen of England and Elton John did not engage in a conga line but, if these pictures are not  hilarious, I will eat my words!

– Pernny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago