Changing Your Name – For Better Or Worse

Taking your spouse’s last name can be as simple or as difficult as you want it to be. The most important thing is to have your facts in place and agree 100% on this before announcing it to family because (trust me) you will be questioned about it. 

If you do decide to go a less traditional route (other than changing your last name to his last name) there are options.

 How about a compromise?  You could use your maiden name as your new middle name. In fact, many women of a certain social stature have used their mother’s maiden name for the children’s middle names for decades. Rose Fitzgerald gave her son John Kennedy her maiden name as his middle name. His daughter, Caroline has her mother’s maiden name, Bouvier, as her middle name and the media rarely (if ever) refers to her as Mrs. Schlossberg, even though that is exactly who she is.  You can also consider changing your name legally and keeping your maiden name professionally.

Pros  of changing your name:
-It is easier. Maybe not today or tomorrow but, when children become involved there are always complications. It is easier when you all have the same last name.

-Having the same name as your new family makes you feel more a part of things. You are already bonded with your family,  use this as a stepping stone to bond with his.

– Your last name is complicated, un-friendly, hard to pronounce or you just don’t like it. Now is a good time to fix that.

One thing is for sure, this is a decision that needs to be made by the engaged couple and no one else. Who cares if Aunt Fanny doesn’t like it? It is your name, your life, your marraige, your choice. Once you (as a couple) have reached your decision, announce it to all and stick to it. If you are one of the 10% of women to choose to keep their maiden name, you may encounter some rough road but, stick to your guns. If you are one of the 90% who decide that change is okay, keep doodling.

Cons of name change:

– You have established yourself in the workplace and changing your name could likely become complicated and may make it difficult to re-establish your reputation. Harldy anyone will remember Elizabeth Warner but, she certainly made headlines as Elizabeth Taylor. There was  never a need for her to go by any other name and you may agree.

– You may feel like you have lost your identity. You have had this name for your entire life and now you are not the same person, anymore.

– It goes against your personal principle that a woman is expected to change her name and a man is not.

 Changing your last name is technically easy. Once you have the forms from the Social Security office you can get a new Social Security Card (the number is still the same) and then a new drivers license. After that, you are basically done. Take your new forms of identification with you to the bank and have your name changed on the account, call your credit card companies, and anyone with whom you have credit (mortgage, student loans, etc) and you are finished. If that is too complicated, you can buy a Name Change kit.

Getting used to a new name is a different story; you may have doodled your merged names a hundred times in your wedding planner, but having someone refer to you as “Mrs. Frulla” for the first time will stop you in your tracks.  You may ask youself why you had to change your name and he didn’t.  In reality, you didn’t.

 

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

 

Glorious Garnishes For Captivating Cocktails

Having signature drinks at your event, whether they are alcoholic or not, has become a must have for an interesting, lively affair. Signature cocktails are the epitome of fun and creativity so, the garnishes and accoutrement you use to adorn them should be something that also shows your flair, fun and festivity!

How about fruity ice cubes and cocktail stirrers for summertime drinks? Blueberries, strawberries, raspberries will all light up a lemonade or sweet tea as well as a wine spritzer!

 

Why not serve chocolate drinks with an extra dash of chocolate ….  Try decorating the edge of martini glasses with chocolate sprinkles for a chocolate martini. A dash of mint? Why not!

 

Multi-colored sprinkles add color to a wide variety of drinks from shots to fruit punch!

 

Vodka-soaked, chilled cranberries add zest and pizazz to a Cranberry-tini or even a simple glass of champagne!

Your guests will adore a peppermint cocktail with a peppermint garnish for a winter wedding:

candy cane cocktail winter cocktail unique cocktail wedding ideas wedding cocktails reception ideas for your wedding white cocktail winter drinks winter wedding wedding party blog

Last but, not least – make sure the glasses are the right size and shape for the drink and the garnishes. It will make all the difference in the world!

pretty-cocktails unique cocktail ideas wedding ideas wedding cocktails wedding decor reception ideas cucumber cocktail yummy cocktails unique drinks wedding party blog

 

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

Signature Cocktails Made Simple

Signature cocktails have become such a hot-ticket item for wedding receptions and other cocktail hour events that it has actually opened up an entirely new occupation: Cocktail designers. Once reserved for the extremely well-to-do, signature cocktails have been on the rise for several years and are skyrocketing to the top of the ‘must-have’ list for brides and grooms to be. According to the wedding channel, a ‘signature cocktail’  is “a custom designed drink (usually contains alcohol, but doesn’t have to) served at cocktail hours and wedding receptions.” How do you decide on the drink? Here are some hints and tips to make finding your signature cocktail easier.

 Bride AND  Groom need to work on this with either your caterer or bartender at your venue to create one together, although some couples insist on one for each of them. 

Choose one based on what kind of drinks you like. Although there are  a finite number of combinations, you can always add a unique garnish. If you love Hypnotique or Vodka or Limoncello, those should be the first ingredients you consider.

Choose a drink based on color if you want the drink to match your wedding theme. It may not be an exact match but if it is close enough it will make a huge impact. Imagine rows of  martini glasses filled with blue cocktails in a sea of blue flowers and bridesmaids gowns.

Make sure the ingredients are in season and readily available, especially if they are hard to find. Technically you don’t have to select the drink based on season but, a  pink-lemonade based drink will fare better in the summer months, just as an apple cider flavored drink is more suited for fall.

The best thing you can do is name it after yourself or something fun your guests will enjoy. Adding “-tini” or “-rita” is always fun especially if it illiterates nicely but, it must have the key ingredients of the base drink to be called that. Now that I think of it, ” Penny-tini” has a really nice ring to it!

Share the details with everyone; adding the recipe  to your wedding website, announcing it on place-cards and spreading the word in other ways always make a great conversation starter.

Any way you serve it, the signature cocktail has made it’s place at weddings and is hotter than ever before.

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

 

 

 

Remembering St. Valentine

For many years I thought Valentine’s Day was a Hallmark holiday, one that was manufactured so that greeting card companies and florists could make us buy things we didn’t need and candy sales would soar. It wasn’t until I was an adult that I came to know the history associated with this holiday and the legend behind all of the cards and flowers.

Folklore presents a tale of a priest named Valentine (later to become a martyred Saint), marrying lovers in secret, against the wishes of Roman Emperor Claudius II who ordained his soldiers remain single and celibate in order to maintain their focus. There is an additional modern embellishment to this story, provided by American Greetings to History.com, and widely repeated despite having no historical basis whatsoever. On the evening before Valentine was to be executed, he wrote the first “valentine” card himself, addressed to the blind daughter of his jailor, Asterius, signing the card “From your Valentine.” From that point, ‘Valentines’ were sent in secret as expressions of love by those who could not openly proclaim their feelings for various reasons.

In elementary school, we exchange valentine card with everyone in the entire class, for those who are home-schooled- this is a fairly easy task. In middle school, students send lollipops or messages to friends and crushes either anyonymously or as a blatant show of affection. In high sc’hool it starts to get complicated and only the ‘couples’ really get into the celebration unless there is some really burning desire to use this as the day to come clean and profess your undying love. As we get older, Valentine’s Day becomes the day we send our loved ones greetings; mother, father, grandparents, dear friends, etc.

In the dating world, Valentine’s Day is the day to pull out all the stops and possibly pop the question. In fact, about 10% of all engagements occur on this holiday. More than that, many couples decide to get married on this holiday for a myriad of reasons: it is a very romantic day to join together in matrimony, there is a lot of history associated with this holiday, and it’s an easy date to remember.

For whatever reason you get engaged or married on this holiday, remember the sacrifices of those who gave their lives for someone they love, the ones who kept their love in secret and for those who could never join together for whatever reason. Openly express your love for those around you, show them you care with thoughts and actions, a homemade card, a diamond necklace or whatever speaks to you.

Happy Valentine’s Day

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago