Changing Your Name – For Better Or Worse

Taking your spouse’s last name can be as simple or as difficult as you want it to be. The most important thing is to have your facts in place and agree 100% on this before announcing it to family because (trust me) you will be questioned about it. 

If you do decide to go a less traditional route (other than changing your last name to his last name) there are options.

 How about a compromise?  You could use your maiden name as your new middle name. In fact, many women of a certain social stature have used their mother’s maiden name for the children’s middle names for decades. Rose Fitzgerald gave her son John Kennedy her maiden name as his middle name. His daughter, Caroline has her mother’s maiden name, Bouvier, as her middle name and the media rarely (if ever) refers to her as Mrs. Schlossberg, even though that is exactly who she is.  You can also consider changing your name legally and keeping your maiden name professionally.

Pros  of changing your name:
-It is easier. Maybe not today or tomorrow but, when children become involved there are always complications. It is easier when you all have the same last name.

-Having the same name as your new family makes you feel more a part of things. You are already bonded with your family,  use this as a stepping stone to bond with his.

– Your last name is complicated, un-friendly, hard to pronounce or you just don’t like it. Now is a good time to fix that.

One thing is for sure, this is a decision that needs to be made by the engaged couple and no one else. Who cares if Aunt Fanny doesn’t like it? It is your name, your life, your marraige, your choice. Once you (as a couple) have reached your decision, announce it to all and stick to it. If you are one of the 10% of women to choose to keep their maiden name, you may encounter some rough road but, stick to your guns. If you are one of the 90% who decide that change is okay, keep doodling.

Cons of name change:

– You have established yourself in the workplace and changing your name could likely become complicated and may make it difficult to re-establish your reputation. Harldy anyone will remember Elizabeth Warner but, she certainly made headlines as Elizabeth Taylor. There was  never a need for her to go by any other name and you may agree.

– You may feel like you have lost your identity. You have had this name for your entire life and now you are not the same person, anymore.

– It goes against your personal principle that a woman is expected to change her name and a man is not.

 Changing your last name is technically easy. Once you have the forms from the Social Security office you can get a new Social Security Card (the number is still the same) and then a new drivers license. After that, you are basically done. Take your new forms of identification with you to the bank and have your name changed on the account, call your credit card companies, and anyone with whom you have credit (mortgage, student loans, etc) and you are finished. If that is too complicated, you can buy a Name Change kit.

Getting used to a new name is a different story; you may have doodled your merged names a hundred times in your wedding planner, but having someone refer to you as “Mrs. Frulla” for the first time will stop you in your tracks.  You may ask youself why you had to change your name and he didn’t.  In reality, you didn’t.

 

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

 

Glorious Garnishes For Captivating Cocktails

Having signature drinks at your event, whether they are alcoholic or not, has become a must have for an interesting, lively affair. Signature cocktails are the epitome of fun and creativity so, the garnishes and accoutrement you use to adorn them should be something that also shows your flair, fun and festivity!

How about fruity ice cubes and cocktail stirrers for summertime drinks? Blueberries, strawberries, raspberries will all light up a lemonade or sweet tea as well as a wine spritzer!

 

Why not serve chocolate drinks with an extra dash of chocolate ….  Try decorating the edge of martini glasses with chocolate sprinkles for a chocolate martini. A dash of mint? Why not!

 

Multi-colored sprinkles add color to a wide variety of drinks from shots to fruit punch!

 

Vodka-soaked, chilled cranberries add zest and pizazz to a Cranberry-tini or even a simple glass of champagne!

Your guests will adore a peppermint cocktail with a peppermint garnish for a winter wedding:

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Last but, not least – make sure the glasses are the right size and shape for the drink and the garnishes. It will make all the difference in the world!

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-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

Promise Rings – Passe or Perfect?

As the engagement season approaches (also known as Christmas), I am reminded of another piece of jewelry symbolic of a committed relationship; the promise ring. A promise ring is a symbol of love and commitment made from one person to another while dating when the relationship turns more serious. Perhaps you are both in college and aren’t ready for a wedding just yet but, you fully intend to make that commitment when the time comes. You want to make a stronger statement than mere ‘dating’ and a promise ring is just the thing to do that.  

When you give or accept a promise ring, you are promising to love the recipient forever and to be faithful. Commonly, a promise ring is given before engagement. It can symbolize sort of a trial period before engagement and the ring  is worn on the left hand until it is replaced by an engagement ring and then switched to the right hand.

Promise rings are not just for women. The popularity of promise rings for men has risen in popularity in recent years. If he gives you a promise ring, it would nice touch to give him one in return to cement your promise to him as well. ‘s meaning. After all, you both need to commit to the promise or it has no meaning. Get him something manly, perhaps in titanium.

Some promise rings have small diamonds, some have small gemstones but they don’t have to include a stone at all, some rings are simple bands with the promise engraved inside. In fact, there are many websites dedicated to romantic promise ring inscriptions, or you can choose your own sentiment.

A favorite promise ring is the ‘Claddagh’. If worn on the left hand with the heart facing out, it signifies that you are spoken for. If worn with the heart facing in, people will assume you are already married. However, I doubt if the “Promise Ring” police will arrest you if you wear it either way. It is a traditional Irish band and many people have been known to use this in lieu of engagement ring or wedding band. Also highly sentimental, filled with Irish lore and has a variety of  romantic legends associated with it… I consider that to be quite special in itself.

Any way you look at it, the “promise ring’ is a sweet, sentimental gesture and one that should not be taken lightly.

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

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Hello Gorgeous! – Emerald Is Named Color Of The Year For 2013

The Pantone Institute has issued their “Color Of The Year” and the go-to color for all things beautiful in 2013 is Emerald. I have been waiting for this for months, anticipation building, excitement growing, just knowing that December always brings the big announcement.

Allow me to explain why this announcement is so important:

Pantone is an American company that has been producing standardized color matching systems since 1963 for fashion, art, graphic design and commercial use. If you are wondering how this is relevant, think of it like this; you go to a store to buy a blouse and the ‘blue’ one really pops out at you. You are afraid to buy it because you will never find anything to match and you will be stuck wearing this blouse with a black skirt until you tire of it. Not to worry, since Pantone’s inception, they have provided color matching to designers who refer to this system to create their new lines. So, that ‘blue’ blouse is really ‘ocean blue’ and you will literally be in a sea of it at every department store. Each color and even multi-colored prints are matched, jewelry is matched and every designer has consulted Pantone to create their collection based on this color  which is found on a fan-out card system just like the ones at the paint store.  Before the Pantone system, grey was grey and blue was blue, you had to match it yourself and Good Luck! You carried a blouse around looking for a print that had even the lightest hint of that color and the search could last longer than the blouse.

Now, thanks to Pantone, every floral designer will have access to the same Emerald  Ribbon, bridesmaid designers  have Emerald fabric, accessories will be created to compliment everything Emerald. Invitation desingers using Adobe have access to the same shade  in their palette and if you opt for dyed to match shoes, all you have to do is tell the shoe professional “Emerald” and you will almost certainly be assured a match. Although you may not want to be in emerald up to your elbows, you will have the option.

How did Pantone land on Emerald #17-5641 TCX  to forever represent 2013? The color reminds us of simpler things such as grass and Mother Nature…Green is the color of growth and signifies America in 2013…The rich tone is all about luxury, just like jewels and money…. Whichever theory you prefer, Pantone is describing the choice as, “Lively. Radiant. Lush…A color of elegance and beauty that enhances our sense of well-being, balance and harmony.”Green is the most abundant hue in nature – the human eye sees more green than any other color in the spectrum,” said Leatrice Eiseman, executive director of the Pantone Color Institute®. “As it has throughout history, multifaceted Emerald continues to sparkle and fascinate. Symbolically, Emerald brings a sense of clarity, renewal and rejuvenation, which is so important in today’s complex world. This powerful and universally appealing tone translates easily to both fashion and home interiors.”

 

Without further adieu, we present Emerald in all it’s glory:

According to the Pantone Institute:

Emerald is a vivid, verdant green; it enhances our sense of well-being further by inspiring insight, as well as promoting balance and harmony.

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

May Showers Bring Humidity

As a woman, there is nothing like than spending an hour doing your hair, smoothing, curling, styling, or even just brushing and then looking out the window to see rain or, even worse, step out to a wet blanket of humidity. The truth is that humidity can not only affect your hair  but, also have an impact on your entire wedding day. Humidity (simplified) is the amount of moisture in the air. Although there are several complicated ways to calculate the actual and relative humidity, all you really need to know is that warm air can hold more moisture than cold air. So, if it rains on a hot day, you have a recipe for a humidity disaster.

The best fabrics to wear in humid conditions are natural fibers such as cotton, linen , silk and believe it or not wool because they breathe. This goes double for tuxedos since there are shirts AND jackets to take into consideration. In addition to being more comfortable, they will also stand up better to the humidity because although they are equally likely to wrinkle, the wrinkles are easier to remove. Your best bet is to wait as long as possible to get dressed to avoid wrinkling too badly.

Humidity can also have a disastrous affect on your floral arrangements. Make sure you speak to your florist about which blooms hold up best in hot humid conditions and use the ones that are geared toward a more tropical climate.  Humidity increases the rate that flowers absorb water and also the rate at which they wilt. A huge bouquet of droopy, wilted flowers is not a pretty sight.

 

Makeup has a harder time staying on your face if you are sweating profusely. Consult with a makeup professional and make sure you are prepared with an emergency kit… just in caseAlways make sure you are wearing the right foundation for your skin type – which in some cases is mineral powder.

 

Humidity vs. Hair is a huge problem for some of us. If you have frizzy hair, you you might need more than one product on a humid day. In addition to the texture of the product, take into consideration the smell and the way it reacts with your skin. Oily serums can clog your scalp pores and cause breakouts. Water based products may be too mild for severe humidity. The reality is that for this occasion you may want to invest in a good relaxer. For me, the relaxer is the only sure fire way  I know my hair can be styled with ease. For those with fine, limp hair, humidity will do the exact opposite and flatten in down. Every curl you make with the curling iron will be flat in five minutes. For you, a perm may be the way to get some extra volume. And don’t forget to use volumizer, again taking the smell and content into consideration. Either way, make sure your stylist uses plenty of hair spray to hold the completed style in place. 

Planning your wedding in the spring or summer months means being prepared for the heat and possible humidity!!!

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

Signature Cocktails Made Simple

Signature cocktails have become such a hot-ticket item for wedding receptions and other cocktail hour events that it has actually opened up an entirely new occupation: Cocktail designers. Once reserved for the extremely well-to-do, signature cocktails have been on the rise for several years and are skyrocketing to the top of the ‘must-have’ list for brides and grooms to be. According to the wedding channel, a ‘signature cocktail’  is “a custom designed drink (usually contains alcohol, but doesn’t have to) served at cocktail hours and wedding receptions.” How do you decide on the drink? Here are some hints and tips to make finding your signature cocktail easier.

 Bride AND  Groom need to work on this with either your caterer or bartender at your venue to create one together, although some couples insist on one for each of them. 

Choose one based on what kind of drinks you like. Although there are  a finite number of combinations, you can always add a unique garnish. If you love Hypnotique or Vodka or Limoncello, those should be the first ingredients you consider.

Choose a drink based on color if you want the drink to match your wedding theme. It may not be an exact match but if it is close enough it will make a huge impact. Imagine rows of  martini glasses filled with blue cocktails in a sea of blue flowers and bridesmaids gowns.

Make sure the ingredients are in season and readily available, especially if they are hard to find. Technically you don’t have to select the drink based on season but, a  pink-lemonade based drink will fare better in the summer months, just as an apple cider flavored drink is more suited for fall.

The best thing you can do is name it after yourself or something fun your guests will enjoy. Adding “-tini” or “-rita” is always fun especially if it illiterates nicely but, it must have the key ingredients of the base drink to be called that. Now that I think of it, ” Penny-tini” has a really nice ring to it!

Share the details with everyone; adding the recipe  to your wedding website, announcing it on place-cards and spreading the word in other ways always make a great conversation starter.

Any way you serve it, the signature cocktail has made it’s place at weddings and is hotter than ever before.

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

 

 

 

Remembering St. Valentine

For many years I thought Valentine’s Day was a Hallmark holiday, one that was manufactured so that greeting card companies and florists could make us buy things we didn’t need and candy sales would soar. It wasn’t until I was an adult that I came to know the history associated with this holiday and the legend behind all of the cards and flowers.

Folklore presents a tale of a priest named Valentine (later to become a martyred Saint), marrying lovers in secret, against the wishes of Roman Emperor Claudius II who ordained his soldiers remain single and celibate in order to maintain their focus. There is an additional modern embellishment to this story, provided by American Greetings to History.com, and widely repeated despite having no historical basis whatsoever. On the evening before Valentine was to be executed, he wrote the first “valentine” card himself, addressed to the blind daughter of his jailor, Asterius, signing the card “From your Valentine.” From that point, ‘Valentines’ were sent in secret as expressions of love by those who could not openly proclaim their feelings for various reasons.

In elementary school, we exchange valentine card with everyone in the entire class, for those who are home-schooled- this is a fairly easy task. In middle school, students send lollipops or messages to friends and crushes either anyonymously or as a blatant show of affection. In high sc’hool it starts to get complicated and only the ‘couples’ really get into the celebration unless there is some really burning desire to use this as the day to come clean and profess your undying love. As we get older, Valentine’s Day becomes the day we send our loved ones greetings; mother, father, grandparents, dear friends, etc.

In the dating world, Valentine’s Day is the day to pull out all the stops and possibly pop the question. In fact, about 10% of all engagements occur on this holiday. More than that, many couples decide to get married on this holiday for a myriad of reasons: it is a very romantic day to join together in matrimony, there is a lot of history associated with this holiday, and it’s an easy date to remember.

For whatever reason you get engaged or married on this holiday, remember the sacrifices of those who gave their lives for someone they love, the ones who kept their love in secret and for those who could never join together for whatever reason. Openly express your love for those around you, show them you care with thoughts and actions, a homemade card, a diamond necklace or whatever speaks to you.

Happy Valentine’s Day

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Is Getting Engaged on Valentine’s Day Right For You?

A whopping 10% of all engagements occur on Valentine’s Day. That translates into millions of couples across the U.S, a lot of diamond rings, a lot of romantic dinners and a lot of proposals.  The pressure of proposing on this particular holiday is unbelievable, which begs the question, “Why Valentine’s Day?” There are lot of pros and cons to consider before you decide this will be the anniversary of your proposal ….. as long as you both shall live.

Pro: Because so many people propose on Valentine’s Day, there are a wide variety of  ‘packages’ which remove a lot of the work from you.

Con: Some restaurants and florists hike up their prices for Valentine’s Day, and many special discounts are not available on that date.

Pro: It will be an easy date to remember, especially if you are both inclined to celebrate this holiday in really romantic fashion!

Con: Because so many couples get engaged on Valentine’s Day, you may feel that your engagement date is contrived.

Pro: No romantic gesture is too large for Valentine’s Day. You can pull out all the stops and go for it!

Con: If your partner is not used to this kind of grand gesture, you may be met with some cynicism.

The day you decide to propose is very personal and very special, it should reflect both of your personalities. If you decide to pop the question on this day when everyone is expressing their love, remember –  it doesn’t have to be public and it doesn’t have to be as historically significant as dropping the engagement ring in a champagne glass. It can be sweet, personal and very sentimental.  Valentine’s Day is a wonderful day to embrace the love you found with the person who makes you the happiest and if you add another layer to that (your engagement)  it is an even better reason to celebrate!

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

 

Reply Card Roulette

 Unlike some future grooms, my husband helped with a lot of the wedding planning. He picked the menu, the cake, the venue and he singelhandedly documented receipt of the reply cards. Every day he hurried to he mailbox to collect the replies and took great delight in making the necessary notations on the master list. I could tell when the cards began to dwindle because he started to walk a little slower to the mailbox. For us, the reply cards were an exhilarating experience, and eventually an exhausting one, since not everyone replied in a timely manner, replied appropriately or replied at all. Believe it or not, the reply card is fraught with  places for guests to make errors and faux pas and for some reason, this is where guests make the majority of blunders. Your part is simple: You address the invitation to the person(s) you are inviting and make sure that you have a place on the reply card for the number of invited guests. So, what do you do when it all goes awry despite your best plans and intentions?

-When you sent a reply card that is obviously intended for the invited guest +1 and the invited guest returns the card, adding +2 or more without having previously discussed this with you, including adding their own children without your approval or acceptance of the idea, it is time to pick up the phone. Simply tell the guest that their invitation is intended for them and one guest only and leave it at that. There are exceptions but, those exceptions are totally up to you. What if they show up with the +2 or more, anyway…? You have to be prepared how to handle this, just in case.

-When you have received no reply card and it’s one week before the wedding? Time to pick up the phone and make a call to this guest and ask if they will be attending. Be specific about the reason you are calling; so you can ensure all of your guests have a place to sit and a proper meal.

As for those who reply, “YES” and then don’t show, there must be a very good reason. Of course you don’t expect  someone with a serious illness or broken leg to jump out of a hospital bed to attend your wedding but, wait until after the wedding to then call and see if they are doing better. Don’t wait for them to call you, they won’t.  They will probably feel you are too busy to talk and will wait for action on your part. This is not a snub or lack of concern, and this is one of those tiny little things that can ruin a lifelong friendship. Pick up the phone, call and see what happened. You are the only person who can decide if their reason for being a no-show was adequate.

-What if the reply is “NO” and they show up anyway? This is tricky. Speak to someone at the venue and see if there is a place they can be seated (there is usually some wiggle room) Of course they won’t have an assigned table or a place card or a favor but, they will be able to sit and that is all that matters. If there really is no room, you will have to be the one to deliver the news as gently as possible. I know firsthand how difficult this can be, I actually had a couple show up after having replied “NO” and there were no additional seats available anywhere in the room. Our solution was to ask them to sit at the bar and we paid  ‘a la carte’ for two additional meals. Tricky but not unmanageable.

There may be no single solution that works for everyone but, planning ahead will avoid hurt feelings and possible blowups. Consider posting information regarding seating on your wedding website if you have one, emailing people who you think may be having trouble with the reply card concept and possibly having specific instructions printed on the reply card. Some couples have resorted to adding “We have reserved ___ seats for you”  (or similar text) to the reply card. In my opinion, keep it simple and limit the possiblities of error. Although going above and beyond is a nice gesture,  I doubt if some people will even notice.

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

 

 

 

The Pros and Cons of Holiday Weddings

The Holiday Season is upon us! With Thanksgiving and Black Friday under our belts, it is only a few weeks until Christmas, Kwanzaa, Hanukkah and New Year’s Eve. For some engaged couples it seems like the perfect time to get married. Your family is already together, they are  already in a festive mood – why not add your wedding to the reasons to celebrate?

Pro – Your family as already making plans to be together, why not incorporate both of your families and your holiday celebrations sooner rather than later?

Con- If your family lives out of town, traveling around the holidays can be expensive, difficult and sometimes impossible. Flights are overbooked, weather conditions can delay or cancel flights, hotel rooms can be unavailable.

If you decide to have your wedding on a Holiday weekend, make sure you give your guests plenty of advance notice since they will need to re-arrange their usual holiday traditions. Giving Your guests more than the standard 8 weeks notice will enable them to  book all of their accommodations months in advance and have backup travel plan if the weather gets nasty.

Pro – Everyone is already in the spirit of giving, so a wedding will be another reason to celebrate.

Con– Some people’s finances could be strapped with family, office and children’s gifts to purchase so adding another gift (much less travel expenses) may be the proverbial straw on the camel’s back.

All in all, it’s never about the gifts, it is about coming together to share a momentous occasion.

Pro – Holiday flowers are abundant and your dollar will stretch a lot farther with flowers that are already in season.

Pro– You may be able to shave a few dollars off the reception site by booking on a Friday or Sunday surrounding the holiday.

Pro– Many wedding professionals consider December their slow time so you might also be able to book your services at  a reduced rate – it never hurts to ask.

The date you choose for your wedding is important; it will be your anniversary for the remainder of your lives together! If you have one of those families that share every celebration together and can support one another under a little extra pressure, then this is the perfect time of year to have your wedding!

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago