Giving Away The Bride – Who’s In, Who’s Out?

It is a well known fact that it is the responsibility (and honor) of the bride’s father to walk the bride down the aisle, presenting her at the altar to her future husband, and then later sharing a dance.   In some cases, both parents walk the bride down the aisle and in other cases she walks alone and rare cases where two grown men come together and share this responsibility equally, and of course cases where the mother walks the bride solo. In 2012 you have all sorts of combinations and none of them is right or wrong.  This is one of those ever-changing customs that seems to get more complicated every day. 

To offer a little help if you are trying to decide who should do the honor, ask yourself the following questions:

Who is paying for the wedding? If your stepfather is paying for the wedding 100%, he should be given the place of honor at your side, right? Maybe.  That is unless, of course, he had absolutely no hand in raising you, barely knows you, recently married your mother and you never lived under the same roof with you, he is not exactly a parental figure – yet.

Who raised you? If your father raised you, cared for you, packed your school lunches and drove carpool to dance class, he should be given the place of honor at your side even if he doesn’t have one dime to contribute toward your dream wedding, right? Maybe.  Blood is thicker than water and family is more important than money. However, your stepfather ( and mother)  may have some trouble swallowing the idea of paying for everything and receiving no end credit.

Is there even a father  figure in your life? If your father is deceased or absent from your life and your mother raised you single-handedly, she has every right to be at your side… just the two of you. If she declines (and she might) , ask a favorite uncle or a brother.  

Does everyone get along? If so, have this conversation in a group and include his family as well. Keeping the lines of communication open will make planning much easier. For instance; your parents are divorced and both remarried. If everyone gets along swimmingly and you want to have an honest discussion about who is paying for what and who has what role in the wedding this – do it. It will save tons of time and drama later. Even if you are all on great terms this might be a touchy subject and hurt feelings could turn into a huge family debacle if left unchecked. Always be respectful of the role your parents have played in your life up to this point – it is not all about the wedding. The point is to be inclusive and not exclusive.

Can anyone even be in the same room?If you have the unfortunate circumstance of having suffered through a bitter divorce, subsequent re-marriages of your parents to other people and extremely hostile family relations – buckle up…this is going to be a bumpy ride! Hold on tight to your fiance’s hand and get through this however you can. My advice is to  delegate the dad responsibilities with whomever you feel is the most deserving and responsible and be prepared for the repercussions.  Of course this is more complicated than a simple decision but go back to questions #1 and#2 and decide who played the most important role in your life. Do not let anyone hold you hostage by threatening to boycott the nuptials if they don’t get their way, this is your decision (as a couple) and there is no going back once the decision is made.

It is important to make this decision early since the wording on the invitation can be complicated with fractured and blended families. If  parents and stepparents are all assisting financially with the wedding, their names should be on the invitation.  This is can be tricky so ask your invitation specialist to help you with the wording before you make a costly mistake.

For the Father/Daughter dance you can dance with both dads during the course of the song, changing partners after an allotted time, you can dance with one father ‘figure’ or you can omit this routine entirely. No one says it has to be a part of your wedding. Discuss this with your DJ.

The absolute worst thing that can happen at your wedding is to let any of these small situations get out of control. Unless you are one of the rare families that get along famously and never argue, you will have some sort of struggle on your hands. Close your eyes, envision the outcome you desire and  when you open your eyes take whatever steps necessary to make that happen without hurting anyone’s feelings or stepping on anyone’s toes. That means at no point in the conversation are you allowed to say “It’s my day”  since that expression is a tad over-used and completely self-induglent. You have to be respectful and make your point without becoming  a martyr or spoiled brat.

Remember that if you have the luxury of having parents or multiple parents, count your blessings, even if they don’t love each other as much as you would like, they most certainly love you and will most likely do whatver it takes to ensure your wedding is a joyous occasion.

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

Southern Wedding Belles

The recent news of the engagement of two-time Grammy winner and American Idol alumni Kelly Clarkson to Nashville talent manager Brandon Blackstock got our creative juices flowing, imagining what kind of wedding this “Southern  Belle” might have in mind!

 

For the rest of the world who does not live in the Southern part of the United States, there are very distinct differences between South Carolina Style, Kentucky Style, Louisiana Style and  Texas Style. So, the fact that Ms. Clarkson hails from Texas and has planted her roots in Tennessee poses a ‘Southern Style’ challenge. However, there are some must -haves for any true Southern Wedding:

It’s all about the family. Expect to see cousins, kids, aunts, uncles and  relatives from every corner of the globe – even Yankees! The more the merrier, Southern weddings are known for being large and friendly so, when it comes to family; there is always room for more.

Grooms Cake. A groom’s cake  presents an opportunity for the bride to get creative & really WOW her groom. Since so much of the wedding is about the bride & her style, this is a great way to honor the most important man in the room.This tradition has really been embraced by people across the globe.

 

Beverages. Southern brides love to honor their heritage, & the quintessential beverages of the South are the great way to do so. From mint juleps & neat bourbon to sweet tea & Coca-Cola, there’s a Southern beverage to quench the thirst of young & old wedding guests alike.

Charming Accents. Glowing votives, floating magnolias, mason jars, old fashioned lanterns, parasols; all touches that remind you of a simpler era are abundant. Think of timeless elements that would work as easily in 2012 as they would have in 1954.

southern & traditions1's Wedding in Charleston

Most of all, the Southern culture is steeped in beauty, elegance, and grace. Whether your wedding is Sweet Home Alabama or Sweet Home Chicago, you can always incorporate some of these elements to make your celebration ooze with Southern Hospitality.

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

12/12/12 It’s All In The Numbers

As everyone probably knows by now, December12, 2012 was the last consecutive date  for 89 years, until 01/01/2101. Which makes it special and for some couples, quite lucky. According to most published reports, approximately 7,200 couples got married yesterday on December 12, 2012 which is about a 1400% increase from the exact same date last year.

Couples came out in droves to have  12/12/12 as their wedding anniversary date. In Los Angeles, they were lined up as judges performed back-to-back city hall marriages for the entire day. Las Vegas was jammed with couples wanting to be a part of the 12/12/12 phenomenon and even in Chicago, wedding numbers surged with couples who hoped to be a part of something bigger than just any other day.

For now, the hype is over,  but, the next big lucky day according to numerologists is less than a year away… you got it:  11/12/13!! It is my guess that someone will always think of a way to spin certain dates so that they appear ‘LUCKY’  or interesting or numerically fascinating. For most of us, the only luck was finding the right person to marry, the date being much less of a factor.

 

Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo

Promise Rings – Passe or Perfect?

As the engagement season approaches (also known as Christmas), I am reminded of another piece of jewelry symbolic of a committed relationship; the promise ring. A promise ring is a symbol of love and commitment made from one person to another while dating when the relationship turns more serious. Perhaps you are both in college and aren’t ready for a wedding just yet but, you fully intend to make that commitment when the time comes. You want to make a stronger statement than mere ‘dating’ and a promise ring is just the thing to do that.  

When you give or accept a promise ring, you are promising to love the recipient forever and to be faithful. Commonly, a promise ring is given before engagement. It can symbolize sort of a trial period before engagement and the ring  is worn on the left hand until it is replaced by an engagement ring and then switched to the right hand.

Promise rings are not just for women. The popularity of promise rings for men has risen in popularity in recent years. If he gives you a promise ring, it would nice touch to give him one in return to cement your promise to him as well. ‘s meaning. After all, you both need to commit to the promise or it has no meaning. Get him something manly, perhaps in titanium.

Some promise rings have small diamonds, some have small gemstones but they don’t have to include a stone at all, some rings are simple bands with the promise engraved inside. In fact, there are many websites dedicated to romantic promise ring inscriptions, or you can choose your own sentiment.

A favorite promise ring is the ‘Claddagh’. If worn on the left hand with the heart facing out, it signifies that you are spoken for. If worn with the heart facing in, people will assume you are already married. However, I doubt if the “Promise Ring” police will arrest you if you wear it either way. It is a traditional Irish band and many people have been known to use this in lieu of engagement ring or wedding band. Also highly sentimental, filled with Irish lore and has a variety of  romantic legends associated with it… I consider that to be quite special in itself.

Any way you look at it, the “promise ring’ is a sweet, sentimental gesture and one that should not be taken lightly.

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

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Short Lashes? No Problem!

Not so long ago women had very few choices if they wanted their eyelashes to look thicker and longer. You went to the store, bought a set of false eyelashes and eyelash glue and went home to stick them onto your lids for whatever special occasion you decide you needed them.  Most of us hate the way they feel, even when they are applied by a professional,  and after a few hours cannot wait to get them off.

Now, there are other choices. There are , temporary, short term  and long term solutions.  Yes, you can now have longer lashes if you are willing to spend a little money and make some concessions.

First of all, the life cycle of a single eyelash is 90 days (give or take) They grow just like other hair but only to a certain length and about halfway through the cycle have stopped growing and are already preparing to fall out. Any damage done to your eyelashes today will last about three months.

Temporary :

Professional application of individual artificial lashes can take up to one  hour and costs around $90 but it is far more comfortable than the lash strips. Unfortunately,  they will only last one application. Try them out and see how they feel. If you are only interested in having long lashes for this one day and they feel fine, this might be the solution.

Short Term: 

Lash Dipping – Invented by two Chicago aestheticians who decided that lashes should be easy and carefree, not applying mascara every day, two or more times. It is about a two hour process, costs up to $200 and lasts about 6 weeks. But during that six weeks  your lashes will look like you are wearing mascara the whole time and will be noticeably fuller as well! You will need to schedule touch ups every two weeks.

Lash Extensions – take about two hours but can cost anywhere from $200 -$600 not to mention the $90 touch-ups every two weeks. They last about 6-8 weeks but can last up to 3 months. They will fall out just like your other lashes, so look for them on your washcloth! There is no damage to the lash itself as they are placed on lashes that are about 1/2 way through their life cycle. There are several types of lash hair available and the cost is based on the actual material and amount of lashes. This is the choice of many celebrities- so, don’t believe it when they say the lashes are theirs, nobody has lashes this long on the lower lid, not even Elizabeth Taylor who had two full sets of eyelashes on top and bottom.

Long Term:

Latisse – Brought to you by the manufacturer of Botox, the cost of this product is relatively low considering it’s proven effects. For about $120 you will get a 16 week supply and you are almost certain to see results. First used to treat Glaucoma patients, physicians and patients noted a 25% increase in length and fullness in addition to an 18% increase in darkness of their lashes after a 16 week treatment.  The effects are temporary and you will see the decrease when you discontinue use.  There are few side effects and the percentage of users who experience discomfort is marginal.

THE BUZZKILL? If you do not go to a properly trained eyelash technician or do not apply the Latisse according to directions, you risk mild to serious eye damage. Cysts, irritation, blocked tear ducts and more. Make sure the area is clean, all tools are clean and as always, this is not something you  try the day before your wedding.

PLAN AHEAD. If you are planning any lash treatment, start about 6 months before your wedding and this will give your lashes time to grow and re-grow in case you have some kind of reaction to any one of these methods.

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

Tuxedo Troubles… What To Do!?

Every now and then some well intended couple decides the groomsmen should wear a non-traditional tuxedo. You know, something edgy and fun and interesting (to them) and something that most men would never wear in a million years.

In no particular order, some mistakes to avoid when trying to be creative:

Colored tuxedos. Chocolate is not the new black. It is brown and not everyone looks good in or cares to wear brown. Aside from Psy, not many people are wearing colored tuxedo jackets, either. Look for this ‘Gangnam Style’ tuxedo jacket to surge in popularity. Cute for a music video, but not so much for a wedding.

Colored shirts. There is only one color for  tuxedo shirts and that is white. Not peach, blue, red, orange, you get the idea.

Hats. There is no need for a groom or any one of his make attendants to wear a tophat or a bowler or a fedora. They may wind up looking like this:

Last but not least – ruffles. Ruffled shirts are retro ( to say the least) but don’t really have a place at weddings in 2012. Save them for Halloween and awkward family photos.

When shopping for tuxedos, the best thing to remember is: “The classics never die”. Be creative with the tie, the studs and boutonniere and leave the tuxedo alone.

 

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

Engagement Announcements

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far, away people used to read the newspaper every day. Then, along came home computers and now everyone communicates online. If you have been asleep for the past few years, the big thing in wedding announcements in 2012 is social media.

Five things to remember about announcing your engagement:
1) Tell closest family and friends first. this should be a phone call from both of you. Not a text, not an email. Think about who might get their feelings hurt by not hearing it first!  After that,  you will want to tell siblings, future attendants, cousins and other people close to you. You can do this solo and text is okay if you absolutely cannot get through to them on the phone and want them to know before they hear it from someone else.

2) Send out postcards or formal announcements. Traditionally these are only sent to people who will be invited to the wedding. But, in modern times there are ways to get your point across without being tacky. Check with your wedding consultant or stationer for appropriate wording.

3) As soon as you are ready, you can announce it on facebook, set up a website and begin the cadence to matrimony with a countdown calendar for all to see. It could be as simple as a relationship status change or as major as a shared video of the actual proposal…or anything in between.  That part is up to you.

4) If you are socially connected to people who still prefer paper media, putting an announcement in the local paper is classy and timeless. You will want to start off finding out  if they have any guidelines, deadlines, fees, or regulations.

5) Last, but not least you can host an engagement party and make the announcement to everyone there. Engagement parties have become more rare for several reasons; they are costly, time consuming and they are more a thing of the past. Of course they still proliferate in certain social circles where that kind of thing is (basically) required.

No matter how you decide to do it, announcing your engagement is an exciting event. It will the first of many exciting events leading up to your wedding and one of the pinnacles of your own personal love story so, make sure you are both in total agreement before you say anything to anyone. You only have one chance to do this right…. make the most of it!

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

 

Flu Season Is (Still) Upon Us

It is December, the stores are filled with Christmas decorations and it is 70 degrees outside…. in Chicago… seriously. As a result, there are a lot of germs lingering around due to the unusually warm  temperatures and couples need to take a lot of precautions not to wake up on their wedding day with the full-blown flu.

This would be a really good time to get a flu shot if you can. Some people have never gotten one and some people always get one. Don’t take any chances and get one this year… you  won’t regret it. Do this at least two weeks before the wedding.

You absolutely must take action at the first symptom to avoid being passed out from cold medication or doubled over in the restroom with intestinal pain during your wedding and reception. Waiting too long to call the doctor can hasten your recovery or worse, lead to complications. People actually die from the flu…. no joke, it is dangerous!!!

Sore Throat/Cough –Drink warm tea with honey or lemon. I swear by  Limoncello. A shot of limoncello in a cup of tea might not be such a bad idea, either. It is important to do something immediately about this. A  sore throat or even a tickle is a sign that something is amiss in your immune system.

Runny Nose/ Sneezing/Sniffles – This is a sign you are probably coming down with a cold. Take what you normally take for a cold, and  do whatever it takes to enjoy your day. If you have a hard time taking medicine, use Cold-Eze, Airborne, or anything with zinc, echinacea, vitamin C, garlic or honey. Keep saline spray and use it often to avoid sneezing. Stay hydrated to avoid exhaustion, Gatorade, G2 and water. Make sure you have kleenex on hand and if you must sneeze; sneeze into your elbow, not your hands!

Upset stomach – Stress is the #1 cause of stomach upset. If you have a mild upset stomach, avoid eating too much of anything. Ginger Ale is recommended because of the Ginger. However, Green tea or any tea made with chamomile, ginger, mint or cinnamon is preferred.  If your upset stomach is due to something more serious like a stomach virus, you will need to bring out the big guns. Call your doctor immediately and tell him/her your dilemma. Avoid soda, alcohol and sweets to give your stomach time to rest.

Sinus/Allergy problems – If you are prone to sinus or allergy problems you will want to prepare well ahead of your wedding. Hot compresses on your face will open things up as well as a steamy shower. If you belong to a gym that has  a steam room – now is the time to use it. Keep a saline spray on hand but try not to over-indulge, it is not a permanent solution.

The worst thing that can happen is to become seriously ill the day before (or the day of) your wedding.  The weeks, days leading up to your wedding are when you are the most busy and the most susceptible to viruses. Keep your hands washed, drink a lot of fluids and if you feel the slightest bug coming on – call your doctor!

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

Winter Bridal Shower Ideas

Winter has become  a very popular time for weddings and as a result, bridal showers. Hosting a bridal shower right before (during) or after the holiday season can present some challenges but, with a little planning and inspiration the end result will be a fabulous, festive gathering of warmth and love.

Remember, there are a ton of great ideas available without breaking the bank:

 
All White gives a wintry feel. Using different textures and shapes of all white flowers will add depth to the tablescape and no color is needed, except maybe a splash of silver!
 
 
 
  
 
 
Hot Chocolate Bar with various toppings and flavors will warm up your guests in no time. Cinnamon, marshmallows, vanilla, and maybe even a splash of something intoxicating will make a cocoa buffet your guests will literally drool over.
 
Hot Chocolate Bar
 
 
Recapture your youth with an indoor S’mores bar made by using sterno and rocks displayed in the center of a delightful marshmallow, chocolate and graham cracker buffet. 
 
 
s'mores bar!
 
Festive Desserts like Snowflake cookies, cupcakes, cake pops and holiday inspired dessert tables make a big impact.
 
Winter Candyland Party Desserts

cookiesBridgey Widgey: Winter Dessert Table
 
Don’t forget the invitations. There are literally thousands of winter themed ideas to compliment the invitation and they don’t have to reflect any particular holiday …at all.
Winter Bridal Shower InvitationsBridal Shower Invite
 
 
-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago