Category Archives: Wedding planning tips

Signature Cocktails Made Simple

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Signature cocktails have become such a hot-ticket item for wedding receptions and other cocktail hour events that it has actually opened up an entirely new occupation: Cocktail designers. Once reserved for the extremely well-to-do, signature cocktails have been on the rise for several years and are skyrocketing to the top of the ‘must-have’ list for brides and grooms to be. According to the wedding channel, a ‘signature cocktail’  is “a custom designed drink (usually contains alcohol, but doesn’t have to) served at cocktail hours and wedding receptions.” How do you decide on the drink? Here are some hints and tips to make finding your signature cocktail easier.

 Bride AND  Groom need to work on this with either your caterer or bartender at your venue to create one together, although some couples insist on one for each of them. 

Choose one based on what kind of drinks you like. Although there are  a finite number of combinations, you can always add a unique garnish. If you love Hypnotique or Vodka or Limoncello, those should be the first ingredients you consider.

Choose a drink based on color if you want the drink to match your wedding theme. It may not be an exact match but if it is close enough it will make a huge impact. Imagine rows of  martini glasses filled with blue cocktails in a sea of blue flowers and bridesmaids gowns.

Make sure the ingredients are in season and readily available, especially if they are hard to find. Technically you don’t have to select the drink based on season but, a  pink-lemonade based drink will fare better in the summer months, just as an apple cider flavored drink is more suited for fall.

The best thing you can do is name it after yourself or something fun your guests will enjoy. Adding “-tini” or “-rita” is always fun especially if it illiterates nicely but, it must have the key ingredients of the base drink to be called that. Now that I think of it, ” Penny-tini” has a really nice ring to it!

Share the details with everyone; adding the recipe  to your wedding website, announcing it on place-cards and spreading the word in other ways always make a great conversation starter.

Any way you serve it, the signature cocktail has made it’s place at weddings and is hotter than ever before.

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

 

 

 

Football Widows and Commercial Junkies

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 I admit it – I watch the Superbowl every year religiously, and yes…. I watch it for the commercials and the half-time show. I’m not a huge football fan and although I don’t apologize for that, I wish I could understand or even pretend to understand what goes on during the game. I also know that I am not alone. I am certainly not the only person (man or woman) who is left alone on Sundays during football season for hours on end and I am positive I am not the only person who looks forward to that time. After many years I can tell you a few things about being in a relationship with a sports fan.

Don’t make a big deal of it. If he loves football and you don’t – find something productive to do during the game and don’t complain about it. 

If your partner gets tickets to Superbowl and wants you to go… go. You can wear team colors and enjoy the spirit even if you don’t know the difference between a foul and a fumble. Don’t be a jerk about it, either. Just go and have a good time, and I guarantee you will. It’s the Superbowl for crying out loud!

If your spouse or fiance want to have a Superbowl party…. do it. Clean the house, load the table with traditional football fare; wings, nachos, brats (whatever) and plenty of  refreshments. Decorate the house in the team colors and invite all of your friends over.  Never, ever refuse an excuse to get together with your friends. If nothing else, it will give you a much needed  break from wedding planning.

Not having a fondness for football can be difficult from September to Superbowl but, just go with it and enjoy whatever comes along whether it is Sundays to yourself or a house filled with friends. Unless, of course, you are married to a super-fan or a face painter….then you are on your own.

Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

 

Friend vs.Fiance

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My husband is the greatest person in the world and still not everyone likes him. Hard to believe, right? Fortunately for me, all of my friends recognize his positive qualities and vice verse. Although that seems rather inconsequential, it is actually quite monumental and something I do not take lightly. I am blessed.

 

Oddly enough, this happens more often than you can imagine. Even more odd is the fact that it is usually the maid of honor or the best man,  so it is not just a friend it is your best friend, your BFF, your childhood chum or the keeper of your secrets  that cannot seem to be in the same room with your betrothed without a fight breaking out.

 

So what do you do when your friend and fiance do not get along? Can you ask her (or him) to be a part of a wedding they do not endorse? How do you avoid getting in the middle of their seemingly endless arguments about nothing? More importantly how do you avoid having  mugshots as your weddings photos?

 

1) Talk it out. Find a time when you can sit down with each of them apart and ask point blank if there is any reason for the disharmony. Be prepared to get an answer you don’t want to hear. Worst case scenario – she thinks he is cheating or he thinks she is stealing from your bank account…. I said worst-case didn’t I? Imagine the worst and hope for the best. If there is no concrete reason, ask each one to give the other a second chance. They may have gotten off to a rocky start but the fence can sometimes be mended.

 

2) Work it out. Find an activity that you like to do and invite each of them. Movie, sporting event, anything where you can avoid the tension…. how about a game of laser tag? Getting them to have fun together might just make them see  how wrong they have been and they might be willing to make a fresh start.

 

3) Be sensitive. Perhaps your friend is simply tired of being the third wheel and has no interest in attending all sorts of couples functions with you (as a couple). Try to keep your friend from feeling the pangs of jealousy by spending alone time and not insisting that they always be in tow. If that friend is in a relationship, work on a group relationship. Be prepared if your fiance and his or her partner don’t become besties …you are just looking for an occasional double date and a way to take the edge off.

 

If you have tried and tried but they continue to put you in the middle, you will have to make a difficult decision. The fact is that if you fully intend to marry the person of whom your friend so strongly disapproves, you will be fighting this battle for the rest of your life. The polite thing to do is to to explain to the friend that he/she cannot be in your wedding because there is too much turmoil  between her and your fiance. “While you are my best friend, I cannot endure any more tug of war between you & ______. So I am asking you to remain my  friend in life and  a guest at my wedding.” The other option is to bury your head in the sand through the entire wedding process and ignore the squabbles.

 

If your friend is offended by the mere suggestion that he or she opt out of standing up for your wedding, gently remind them that attendants are supposed to serve not only as witnesses, but uphold and support this marriage. If you are the friend in this case, why would you even want to be a part of something you don’t condone?

 

This entire discussion could quite possible put an early end to your friendship but it will also ease a lot of suffering for everyone. Realistically,  as time passes and your marriage grows stronger, your friendship will dissolve on it’s own.

 

On the other hand, as time does pass, people change. It is not a bad idea to keep an open mind but, for God’s sake -don’t torture yourself by putting yourself in the middle for too long.  NEVER complain to an unsupportive friend about a  future spouse that they don’t like to begin with – it is a recipe for disaster and confrontation.

 

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

 

Reviewing the Reviews – How to Really Pick Your Wedding Professionals

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As hard as it may seem to believe,  a lot of companies get their online reviews from within. If you have read this blog before, you know that I am the ultimate skeptic and that an online review to me means about as much to me as the paper on which I will never print it. In this case, my skepticism pays off.  A September report by the Pew Research Institute indicates that 58% of consumers purchase goods and services from the internet based in their online reviews. This was right about the same time the New York Times uncovered the truth about online reviews, exposing several companies who admitted to reviewing themselves repeatedly. Oddly enough one such company actual gave their company scathing reviews in order to improve their Google search results, and it worked.

As hard as it seems,  fake online reviews have gotten so out of control that the government is about to step in and figure out how to handle this growing problem. Until then, here are some guidelines to help you figure out how to spot a fake review when selecting professionals to service your wedding:

Name – Including the first and last name of the reviewer are not a guarantee that it is an actual person but, it greatly increases the odds. Generally online names like Bob234 are either automated programs or insiders trying to hide their identity. More information about the reviewer means more credibility.  Also check to see if this one name has several reviews on the same site or on other sites. Multiple postings is a sign that something is not right.

Date and Number – Check to see if there are swarms of reviews around the same date and for the same product or service. Clever marketers hire people to do product reviews based on a number of things like seasonal purchasing and promotional dates. 

Description – A description that sounds too good to be true probably is. Glowing recommendations are fine but, sometimes they go a bit too far and seem (what’s the word?) … phony. Also be careful of descriptions that are too technical to be from an average consumer point of view, they are probably not.

Links – If there is a link in the review, it is a fake. It is being used to drive you back to the original site.

Negative – Be careful of a negative review even if it seems legitimate since disgruntled ex-employees are notorious for going online; ranting and raving within the confines of a pseudonym. You could be passing up the best bridal salon in Chicago based on a sketchy review you read online.

When in doubt, check it out. The best and only reliable way to ensure that your wedding vendors are A+ or D- is to do your own research. Meet face-to-face  with each and every vendor and when you do, ask them for referrals. Ask for samples or examples of their work. Call previous customers who have used this service and find out firsthand about their experience. If you want to take it a step further, ask if you can attend one of their events and then you can decide for yourself.  When it comes to your wedding, you only have one shot to make it right and leaving your decision-making to reviews posted online is risky, at best.

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

Announcing Your Engagement Tastefully

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In today’s world of 24/7 media where everyone is plugged in, connected and online,  it seems like announcing your engagement would be a snap. However, there is some protocol involved and some surprisingly easy ways to breech etiquette.  In fact it is harder now than it was 50 years ago when the only outlet, other than word of mouth, was a formal engagement announcement in the newspaper. You know, those papers that show up on your door every day that have stories … just like the internet.

The first people you should tell are those closest to you ; your parents, siblings, grandparents and children if either of you have them. Telling them in person is nice if you’re able, otherwise a phone call is perfectly acceptable. but, it should be soon and very personal. Emailing is not personal, neither is having them find out by seeing your relationship status has changed on facebook. Make a list and keep track of who you have spoken to. Leave a message like, “I’ve got some great news” so they know that you called.

The next tier of communication goes to close friends and (non-immediate family) relatives. It is best to to call them if you can but, this may not be practical. It is perfectly acceptable to text or email but it must be a personal message and not a bulk one delivered to multiple addresses. Take the time to write each person a polite note letting them know you are engaged and you will keep them informed of further details if they wish.

After you have let all of the above people know, you are finally ready to announce to the world that you are engaged! 

Newspaper- Everyone is welcome to submit an engagement announcement in the newspaper. Generally, though, this type of announcement is used when the couple is of a certain social, celebrity, economic or  political status. Your newspaper should have guidelines to follow and you can also include the (formal) engagement photo.

Party – Having an engagement party is the most fun way to let a large group of people know at the same time. There are only a couple of points to ponder: do not invite anyone to the party that will not be invited to the wedding and try not to do it at another event,  (wedding, birthday, baby shower, etc) so you will not upstage someone else.

Internet- Posting a relationship status change on facebook will definitely garner some congratulations and other well wishes. You can also create a wedding website which can include stories from loved ones, photos and even a blog. Invited guests can use this site to get updates on the wedding.

Mail- Sending formal engagement announcements through the postal mail is the most traditional way of announcing an engagement but, keep in mind that no one (NO ONE) should get an engagement announcement unless they will definitely be invited to the wedding.  You can include the wedding date on the announcement which will serve as a save-the-date card. You can NOT include any information about where you are registered for gifts.

Whether you go high-tech or old school is entirely up to you, just remember no matter how great the temptation to run in the streets screaming or shout it from the rooftops, take your time and do things right – you won’t regret it.

 

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

 

 

 

 

A Unique and Special Wedding Dilemma

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In the back of your mind you know he is going to propose any day. Maybe he is waiting for a special event, maybe he is waiting for a certain holiday or maybe he is still picking out the ring. You have merged your lives already and perhaps bought a home or moved in together. It is all happening, and it’s all good. Then, unexpectedly you get the news that you are not only going to be husband and wife, you will also be ‘Mom & Dad”. SURPRISE! Now, what?  Basically you have two choices, get married ASAP or wait until after the baby is born to tie the knot. Either option has a multitude of pros and cons.

Option #1) Get married right away –

Pro – You can have a smaller, more intimate gathering with just your closest friends and family. This way you don’t have to worry about who to invite and who to cut from the list,  the list is your nearest and dearest only.

Con– Most couples begin planning their wedding well in advance and can still experience difficulty getting vendors and booking a reception venue. Booking even a small venue at short notice can be tricky. Be willing to compromise and consider a Sunday or Friday event.

Pro- You can find a beautiful gown now that designers have recognized that a lot more women are getting married while they are expecting and not hiding it from anyone.

Con – You may not be feeling your best and trying on clothes is the last thing you want to do. (This goes away in the 4th month and euphoria kicks in)

 

Pro – If you plan quickly, you can get married before most people even know you are pregnant and avoid answering a lot of pesky questions. 

Con–  Who cares what other people think? This is your life, not theirs! 

 

Option #2)  Wait until after the baby is born.

Pro – Your child can be a part of the ceremony and weddings are about family, after all.

Con – Children can be unpredictable, even tiny ones.

 

Pro – You will have plenty of time to plan your dream wedding and spare no expense.

Con – Babies are expensive and your priorities change after giving birth , you may not want to spend a lot of money on a wedding.

 

Pro -You can wear that strapless mermaid dress after you’ve lost the baby weight.

Con – You can’t predict how your body will change and how you will feel about those changes, especially if you are breastfeeding.

 

For some women, getting pregnant before they are married is a source of shame and embarrassment, even in 2012. For some, it is a statement of fact and nothing to hide. Speaking from experience, I had no reservations about being 6 months pregnant at our (casual) wedding, I have no shame that one of the great loves of my life was born 3 months after his father and I tied the knot, I don’t think my son cares or even wonders if this is normal or not. This is our family – there is no normal. How you handle the news is a personal decision and one that should not be made without a great deal of thought and consideration but, don’t wait too long or you won’t have a choice. If you are pregnant with twins, may the force be with you – you will need it!

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

 

 

Bridesmaid Shoes – Putting Your Best Foot Forward

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Start a conversation with any woman about shoes and you will quickly see a sparkle in her eye. Shoes can singlehandedly change the look of your outfit from quirky to classy, seductive to sassy, casual to elegant. Hard to believe but, it’s true – diamond’s may be a girls’ best friend but, shoes are a close second and they are most definitely the window to  her soul. For many years bridesmaids were asked to take a swatch from the bridesmaid gown  to the store where they would buy a pair of (probably not very cute or comfortable) dye-able shoes, the shoes were supposed to match the gown exactly and believe me… when they were a bit off, the bride would have a fit. Seriously… a fit!  No matter how great the dress was, the bridesmaids would inevitable roll their eyes when the discussion turned to the bridesmaid shoe. Times have changed and now the shoe takes center stage as the single most important accessory for bridesmaids.

How to find the perfect bridesmaid shoe:

Just as you would take the ladies to a salon to try on bridesmaid gowns and find the one dress they all feel or look good wearing, you should do the same with shoes. This is easier than you think since so many salons carry shoes, plus if you are already together, it would make sense to stop by a shoe store, wedding accessory store or your favorite department store as a group and see who can walk in the shoes you all agree look best. There will be some compromising and just as with the bridesmaid dress, you have to have a good idea of what you want before you walk into the store.

Do not get distracted by questions like “Can I wear these again”. That is not the point.  The point is if they will be wearable for this one day, this one event, this one moment in time where they will be photographed endlessly and talked about for eternity.

Be creative with your shoe choices. The current theme is eclectic when it comes to bridesmaid shoes. Think about the brides who choose to have the bridesmaid shoes match their bouquet, the shoes that match another color in the wedding the shoes that are a bright contrasting color but all match one another. Do not have each girl pick a different color shoe of the same style. It might sound adorable  but, the photos do not lie and it winds up looking like everyone got a sidetracked  at a rainbow shoe sale. 

No cork heels. Even of the shoe is sparkly and sassy and expensive. There may be some exceptions like a garden wedding with flirty floral bridesmaid gowns or a beach affair with  a strappy sundress. However, if you have any doubts that a cork heel is too casual – don’t do it. Instead, try a wedge heel which can transition from casual to dressy depending upon the material of the shoe and the style.

Consider making the shoes  their wedding gift. This will ease the pain of having to buy a pair of shoes they may not wear ever again. Instead of begrudgingly having to spring for a pair of pink stilettos, they will be happy to have an extra pair of ‘friends’ in their closet, even ones that they might only wear once a year.

Stay away from strappy shoes. Shoes with thin straps, even if they are made of good quality leather, will definitely hurt by the end of the ceremony and most likely cause blisters by the end of the night. The best solution is to find a less ‘strappy’ version of a similar shoe…. or remember to bring a ton of band-aids, you will need them.

Don’t let the price fool you. More expensive shoes are made of higher quality materials, they have designer labels and are packaged, handled, marketed and sold more exclusively. However, a $800 pair of bridesmaid shoes can still hurt your feet. If you ask your bridesmaids to buy expensive shoes, be extra careful to ensure they are comfortable for everyone. 

Study your shoe designers and the way they fit before you set your heart on something to avoid being disappointed. Stuart Weitzman shoes are much narrower, Manolo Blahnik have shorter vamp, and the list goes on. FYI – toe overhang is the eighth deadly sin.

If you spend a little time doing research, listen to the bridesmaids concerns and stay within your budget, the shoes you help select will be a fashion statement, a great photo op, a conversation point and the perfect accessory for your entire bridal party.

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Creative Illumination – Lighting Your Wedding With Style

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One of the most effective things you can do to transform a standard room into a stunning masterpiece is to incorporate  ‘creative illumination’. The right lighting, using various colors and angles will create a look that can be achieved no other way.  You can turn any venue into a showplace with the right lighting, photographs will look better with the right lighting. Forget photo-shop, you can take 10 years off of almost anyone’s age with the right lighting! The best part is that it can all be changed to completely alter the mood; cranked up for some serious dancing at the reception, diffused and toned down to enhance the romantic first dance.

According to internationally acclaimed event designer, Preston Bailey, “You need to take advantage of the effect color can have on the atmosphere by changing the shades through the course of the night. For example, if your cocktail hour starts around sunset, you can splash your room with golden tones. During dinner, consider soft lighting that will mimic flickering candlelight. As the party progresses, I would change the lighting to something a little bit more exciting. Making this transition is simple, with intelligent lighting (which can be programmed to coordinate the whole lighting setup). With the push of a button, you can change the mood of the room,” Bailey says.
 
Make sure your lighting specialist has credentials. Ask to see photos, videos, ask for references and recommendations. Meet with your lighting designer at the venue so you can go over every single detail in person and make sure someone from the venue also attends the meeting so they can answer questions about power usage, wattage, voltage and backup plans. If you decide on this type of lighting, it will play a major role in the event, as much as the flowers and centerpieces. As a result, you should be on top of every detail and not leave anything to the imagination.
 
Don’t forget accent lighting as well, this is especially true for outdoor weddings. Chinese lanterns, colored bulbs and multiple strands of twinkle lights can add a touch of elegance, whimsy or sophistication depending upon the lights used and the desired effect.  Again, always ask for pictures.
 
Creative Illumination will define the mood for the entire event, it will make or break your photos. Most of all, it can turn your already beautiful wedding into and unforgettable paragon of style and beauty!
 
 
-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago
 

Details That Make A Difference

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The difference between and ordinary event and an extraordinary event is in the details. From some of the most reliable sources around the world we have compiled a list of  the top 5 things not to forget on your special day! The most overlooked details are:

– Dont forget the bathrooms. Make sure the bathroom has some touches from the wedding; candles, flowers, monogrammed (disposable) hand towels would all be a nice touch.

-Make sure your photographer takes pictures of the ceremony and reception site while they are empty. These make beautiful photos for remembering how the event looked when you first got there.

– Check to see if your venue has enough waitstaff to handle the amount of guests. Nothing is worse than making your guests wait for a half hour to get a drink.

– Make sure centerpieces don’t interfere with conversation. The right height, width and style can make a difference in your guest’s ability to interact with one another.

– Emergency Kit – The best emergency kit will be comprehensive enough to handle everything from a broken bridesmaid zipper to a  sock-less groomsman.  Remember the Boy Scout motto and ‘always be prepared’. This kit should go to the maid of honor or best man and should be available at a moment’s notice!

Remember, a good wedding planner will keep you on course; whether it is a binder, a list or a certified wedding specialist. 

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

Wedding Website Do’s and Dont’s

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Technology is a wonderful thing. Engaged couples can not only design their own unique website telling their story but, also share wedding news, photos, updates, blog about the details, etc. It is also a great way to alert guests of any last minute changes and to clue them in to pertinent information. Over 30% of today’s couple are using wedding websites to share information and that figure increases faster than Charlie Sheen can ‘tweet’.  However, there are some pitfalls to having access to this much information and  to having so much information about you available on the internet.

DO research on the site itself and how long it has been around. Free sites are available but are literally a dime a dozen. They can be loaded with  pop-ups. UGH! You don’t have this much time to waste on putting together a website only to have problems later. Use a reputable server to host your wedding webpage.

DO NOT list your gift registry information on your website. It is perfectly acceptable to provide a link to the website, but do not list gift preferences here. It is in poor taste.

DO put tons of photos on your website. Friends and family will love to see your photos as a couple, they tell a story. Of course they will want the official engagement photo but, the snapshots from vacation, from your childhood, with friends and family will also be a big hit.

DO NOT go on a 2 page rant about something wedding-related or it might come back to bite you. Maybe the florist was not as nice as she could have been, maybe the photographer put you on hold too long the last time you called or even worse, you and one of your guests got into a disagreement.  Its best not to blog about these things on your website. The internet is a really easy place to get yourself into hot water so keep those things to private conversations and emails. If you must blog, blog about the positive aspects of your engagement period (period). Keep the private stuff to yourself.

DO make it a family affair. Put your parents’ wedding photos, photos of the attendants, your sisters, brothers, and your beloved pets. It is all about getting to know your story.

DO NOT share  incriminating photos of drunken attendants at  bachelor/ bachelorette parties. These things are private and as much as you shouldn’t share them, no one really wants to see them. Everyone lets loose sometimes but this is not the place to expose wild antics. Unless you’re going for a ‘Brides Gone Wild’ theme.

DO make it your own. Be as unique as you want to and let your friends/family/guests see your individuality. Romantic, eccentric, conservative, whatever your personal style is – don’t be afraid to let it shine.

DON’T Allow comments without your approval. The last thing you need is someone making some kind of comment that ruins your day and has you scrambling to figure out how to delete. 

DO encourage your guests to comment. Reading words of encouragement is uplifting and can make your entire affair become more close-knit.

 Done properly, your wedding website will be memorable and bring you closer to your loved ones. Your guests will have an opportunity to get to know you better and get a glimpse into your relationship. Working on a website together is a great way to bond even closer to your betrothed and to  pay tribute to your parents and other special guests.

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago