A Unique and Special Wedding Dilemma

In the back of your mind you know he is going to propose any day. Maybe he is waiting for a special event, maybe he is waiting for a certain holiday or maybe he is still picking out the ring. You have merged your lives already and perhaps bought a home or moved in together. It is all happening, and it’s all good. Then, unexpectedly you get the news that you are not only going to be husband and wife, you will also be ‘Mom & Dad”. SURPRISE! Now, what?  Basically you have two choices, get married ASAP or wait until after the baby is born to tie the knot. Either option has a multitude of pros and cons.

Option #1) Get married right away –

Pro – You can have a smaller, more intimate gathering with just your closest friends and family. This way you don’t have to worry about who to invite and who to cut from the list,  the list is your nearest and dearest only.

Con– Most couples begin planning their wedding well in advance and can still experience difficulty getting vendors and booking a reception venue. Booking even a small venue at short notice can be tricky. Be willing to compromise and consider a Sunday or Friday event.

Pro- You can find a beautiful gown now that designers have recognized that a lot more women are getting married while they are expecting and not hiding it from anyone.

Con – You may not be feeling your best and trying on clothes is the last thing you want to do. (This goes away in the 4th month and euphoria kicks in)


Pro – If you plan quickly, you can get married before most people even know you are pregnant and avoid answering a lot of pesky questions. 

Con–  Who cares what other people think? This is your life, not theirs! 


Option #2)  Wait until after the baby is born.

Pro – Your child can be a part of the ceremony and weddings are about family, after all.

Con – Children can be unpredictable, even tiny ones.


Pro – You will have plenty of time to plan your dream wedding and spare no expense.

Con – Babies are expensive and your priorities change after giving birth , you may not want to spend a lot of money on a wedding.


Pro -You can wear that strapless mermaid dress after you’ve lost the baby weight.

Con – You can’t predict how your body will change and how you will feel about those changes, especially if you are breastfeeding.


For some women, getting pregnant before they are married is a source of shame and embarrassment, even in 2012. For some, it is a statement of fact and nothing to hide. Speaking from experience, I had no reservations about being 6 months pregnant at our (casual) wedding, I have no shame that one of the great loves of my life was born 3 months after his father and I tied the knot, I don’t think my son cares or even wonders if this is normal or not. This is our family – there is no normal. How you handle the news is a personal decision and one that should not be made without a great deal of thought and consideration but, don’t wait too long or you won’t have a choice. If you are pregnant with twins, may the force be with you – you will need it!

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago



Here Comes the Mom – Maternity options for Brides to Be

It was not that long ago that an unmarried woman who was pregnant was expected to rush to the courthouse with her fiance and tie the knot via quickie ceremony and subsequently lie about the baby being premature. As odd as it seems, the idea of a pregnant woman wearing a (white) wedding gown or having a large wedding was just out of the question, even though it happened all the time…just ask anyone in my family. For me, I never understood the big deal.

In 2011 brides have the option of waiting until the baby is born to have their fairytale wedding or just wearing a gown that embraces their pregnancy. After all, the important thing is that you are building a life together, not  a few mismatched dates on a calendar. In time, no one will care which came first and your child will always be more concerned about being in a loving family than whether mommy & daddy had the honeymoon before the ceremony.

Option #1 –Wait until the baby is born to have your fairytale wedding. Local singing sensation and Academy Award winner Jennifer Hudson will be marrying her son’s father in a fairly lavish ceremony this summer and has hinted that her 2 yr old son might walk her down the aisle. Waiting 2 years to have the wedding might sound extreme but, it has allowed her the time to lose the baby weight – and more! Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise made their daughter part of the wedding and she certainly looked adorable  in her Armani gown.

With this option you may have to do some explaining but, it is well worth it. You get it all, the husband , the babies, the wedding. What could possibly go wrong?  The only glitch involved is losing the baby weight and adjusting to some figure changes. Yes, your figure will change (even slightly) after you have a child. The main reason that women wait until the baby is born is so they have time to shed the pounds and trust  me it generally takes almost a year for things to go back to normal. Don’t count on being one of the fortunate women who pop out a baby and are back in a bikini within weeks. That does happen but not as often as you would think and you can’t compare yourself to other women.. we are all different.

Option #2 –Have the wedding while you are pregnant.  We are all not blessed with the kind of genetic makeup that allows our pregnancy to go unnoticed until after the 6 months mark so don’t be surprised if at first  you have a difficult time finding something where you look as good as you feel. Although there are several companies that design specific gowns just for mothers to be, you aren’t used to shopping for this figure. Your waist may be non-existent and your curves may be  curvier than before. This is only temporary, I can assure you. Certainly, it is not likely you will want a strapless mermaid style gown. A better option would be something with at least spaghetti straps, probably an empire waist like the one Jennifer Garner wore when she married meg-star Ben Affleck in a private cermony.  Remember that a lot of this depends upon how much you are ‘showing’ and how soon the wedding will be. If you plan to have the wedding less than a month before your due date, take that into consideration when selecting size as your size will more than likely increase as the due date draws closer. You will want to make concessions in the shoe department as well since at 8 months pregnant your feet will be swollen possibly beyond recognition and 3″ stilettos are almost always out of the question.

Once you decide which option works best for you, stick to your guns. Some people (usually over-concerned and probably bored) relatives might begin to question your decision. Planning  your wedding while managing your pregnancy sounds a lot  harder but it is not. Why? Because all of a sudden your prioirities change (maybe it’s the hormones) and you could care less what other people think. You care about your family and how they fit together, not the  details of pew decor. I was personally blessed with a 6 month euphoria which allowed me the luxury of being very agreeable to a difficult mother-in-law. It wore off.

To pregnant brides and brides who are already mothers I extend my best wishes and congratulations on all of the joys in your life!

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago