Category Archives: Wedding planning tips

Decorating The Getaway Car

Posted on by

The image of the wedding car leaving the reception with the bride and groom in the back is always accompanied by another image; one of tin cans rattling, adorned with paper flowers and a hand painted “Just Married” sign. This tradition is multi-faceted and intended to be an amusing lighthearted gesture.

The idea is that the noise of the cans rattling around wards off evil spirits so the bride and groom can spend their first ‘alone’ time as a married couple in peace. Advertising the couple as “Just Married” encourages passerby to honk and wish the couple well on their journey into married life.  The car is supposed to be decorated by the best man and groomsmen without the bride or groom’s knowledge. It is traditionally done during the reception and it is intended to be whimsical, humorous and slightly embarrassing…SLIGHTLY. The problem is that some jokes go too far. Your best bet? Follow these simple rules:

NEVER do anything to obstruct the view of the driver or to cause a hazardous driving situation.

NEVER do anything in any kind of questionable medium. That means stick to car magnets, clings and chalk or marker that is 100% washable.  It is entirely possible to ruin the finish of a car with something labeled “safe’ and ‘washable’.

NEVER do anything in bad taste. I’m sure you get this one – no profanity, no signs of body parts, no “R” rated pictures.

If you are in doubt about what to use, there are dozens of websites that offer various creative options. You can let your imagination run wild and find something that perfectly suits your needs…. or you can just use an old boot and some tin cans.

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago.

The Importance of Keeping Appointments

Posted on by

Imagine you have been looking for a florist, or a baker, or a wedding planner. You have done your research; calling referrals, making sure they are accredited and have a good rating with the BBB. You make an appointment and then, suddenly, they cancel on short notice. What do you do? Although I’m usually  in favor of giving everyone the benefit of the doubt, there are cases when a cancellation might be a red flag. 

If the vendor cancels because they have overbooked, you might have cause for concern.  This could mean there is a time management problem.

However, if the vendor cancels because another event had a legitimate crisis that had to be handled immediately, this says the vendor is as concerned with keeping their existing clients happy as they are booking new clients.

If the vendor cancels because of weather, health or personal family issues, we can all understand… these things happen. Of course, if it happens more than once, this could be someone who has a lot of drama in their life and it could be time to take a closer look at whether or not you  can handle their drama.

In essence, when a vendor cancels you need to use your best judgement to decide whether or not they deserve a second chance. If the reason is weak or there really is no reason,  you should begin your search for another vendor to replace them … someone who is able to keep appointments. This is especially true for a bridal or wedding consultant. You are hiring them to manage your entire wedding and this is no easy task – there must be total faith and trust. The last thing you need to be doing is chasing vendors to get information or answers after you have paid a deposit or the day of your event.

 

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

 

 

Don’t Let This Happen To You – Common Grooming Mistakes

Posted on by

It is common knowledge  that everyone wants to look good for their wedding and that good grooming is  a must. While grooming typically refers to bathroom activities such as  cleaning and styling the hair, getting body, face or groin hair removal and getting nails done, some people become so over-obsessed with grooming that they go a bit too far. How could taking too much care of yourself possibly be a bad thing?

Mistake #1)Mother of the Groom – November 2000. Weeks before her son’s wedding my friend wanted to look her best so she began tanning (tanning bed) and planned a quick trip to Florida to add some sun to the tanning bed color of her skin. My friend also thought this would be a good time to rejuvenate her skin a little and invested in some light Botox treatments. Sounds okay, right? Actually, she came to her son’s wedding unrecognizable. Her dark brown skin was extremely puffy, blotchy and there were spots of mis-shapen skin around her eyes.  There was no solution, there was no way to disguise her awkward appearance and this is still the only thing I remember of her son’s wedding to this day. The problem: too many different treatments too close to the wedding. To avoid this:  decide which is more important – tan or wrinkles!

Mistake #2) Groom – July 2005. About six weeks before the wedding, the groom decided to thin out his eyebrows a little. He figured this would be enough time to decide whether or not this was right for him and also be able to return to the salon before the wedding for a touch-up. The initial visit went great, his eyebrows were thinner and looked more controlled but not too severe. A week before the wedding, he went for his touch up and came out looking like Joan Crawford. Again, there is no solution since you cannot re-grow hair in one week. The problem: he went to a different stylist who was not familiar with what he wanted and went too far. To avoid this: always see the same stylist and take pictures of what you want to look like. Leave nothing to the imagination. This can happen to women, too! Remember  whether you are shaving, plucking, tweezing or threading, it will take a month to re-grow to their natural state. Of course everyone is different and it could take longer or never grow back at all. 

Mistake #3) Bride – October 2008. The bride  decided to go for a salon makeover just days before the wedding.  Unbeknownst to her, she had very sensitive skin and for whatever reason the products did not agree with her. She came home looking great and loved the makeup but, the next day when she awoke she was puffy, red and completely covered in bumps. With only two days to calm her skin down, the solution included a trip to a dermatologist and a prescription. The problem: trying out new cosmetics only days before your wedding. To avoid this: never do anything new to your hair or skin or nails within two weeks of your wedding. If you are going to try new skin care products or makeup, do it at least a month in advance. All makeup is not created equal and the price is not always the problem.  Plan early and have a makeup trial as far in advance as possible.

Mistake #4) Bridesmaid – July 2010. Not wanting to look pale and pasty on her BF’s big day, a well-intended bridesmaid decided at the last minute (literally hours before the wedding) do do a little self tanning. She sprayed self tanner all over her chest and face and arms and then immediately dressed and prepared  for the wedding. She was streaky, orange, smelled of product and (according to her) stained the lapel of at least one male guest who hugged her. The only solution in this case is photoshop for the pictures.  The problem: self tanners are messy and hard to apply properly, they have a distinct odor and should never be tried out this close to an event. How to avoid: Don’t bother with self-tanner. Ask any professional photographer and they will tell you that dark tans do not look good in wedding pictures. Self tanners last  about five days and spray tans can  last up to 2 weeks so, if you get the wrong color, it will require some effort to remove it from your skin. Ask the spray tan specialist  for  the best color for you. Specialist is the operative word – ask the manager or owner or another informed consultant at the salon.

To comlpetely avoid any and all grooming diasters, here is the  best advice you will ever hear :

Don’t try anything new less than a month before your event.

 

 

–Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

Children In Your Wedding

Posted on by

People have children. Your siblings, your friends, some of them may have children, you may even have your own child. Some people have children before they are married and some people marrying for the second time have several children… remember the Brady Bunch? Including children in your wedding ceremony can make a lovely experience for everyone if handled properly.

Give the children age appropriate tasks. 2 yr olds can be very unpredictable and asking them to do more than carry a basket of flowers or a ring pillow may be beyond their grasp.

Hire someone to help. Check with local elementary or pre-schools to see if any of the teaching aides would be interested in doing some ‘Nanny” duty. The parents may want to actually enjoy themselves and not spend all day worrying if the kids are going to do the right thing. Remember – teachers have been trained how to handle precarious situations and you will need the extra help at  the rehearsal as well as the wedding.

Practice, Practice, Practice. Older children like tweens and teenagers might be able to recite a poem or do a reading. Make sure they attend the rehearsal dinner so you can do a sound check. even the little ones need to practice how to handle their tasks… no matter how simple it seems to you.

Back up Plan. Kids of school age are notorious for bringing home every germ in the world. Be prepared that one of  the kids may come down with pink eye, an ear infection, strep throat or even just a bad case of nerves. These things can throw your plans severely out of whack if you are unprepared.

Remember, they are not small people, they are children. Things that seem simple to you are much harder for them. On top of it, they do not understand the complexity of each and every detail. Sure, they want to be a part of this beautiful thing but can be frightened, nervous and when that happens, mistakes are made. If you are not ready to have a child forget his or her line, drop the basket, spill something (or whatever) then, you probably shouldn’t have children in your wedding.  If you can go with the flow and overlook the tiny obstacles that may lie ahead, you will create a memory that they will share with you for a  lifetime…. not to mention the irresistible photos!

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

Weddings and Politics

Posted on by

It is often said that in order to have a pleasant time, one should avoid the topics of religion and politics. It is kind of hard to avoid the topic of religion at some weddings but, politics – that’s an easy one… unless your wedding date falls the weekend before or after the first Tuesday in November of an election year. 2012 is an election year, and a big one. There are issues at stake that affect nearly every U.S. citizen and the presidential race is already getting heated nearly 7 months before voters decide who will take the oath of office in January 2013. For couples of mixed political views, you have my sympathy and for couples who are the lone voice of dissent in a family of either political party; I feel your pain. So how, exactly,  do you get around the touchiest of topics at your wedding?

Engage a friend. Maid of Honor, Best Man, dear friend, all make a good go-between if you have that certain relative that can’t stop talking about  politics and their remarks often border on offensive. Let’s face it – we all have those folks in our midst.

Good humor. Do some research and prepare for the loud voices of un-reason. You can stop a political bully in their tracks with the right come-back  (a witty one-liner can do wonders to lighten the moment). No personal attacks or anything racist, please. Good humor means funny, light, witty and nothing insulting. The funniest jokes of all times are not at someone else’s expense.  Sometimes talking openly and laughing about your differences makes them seem small. Whereas, sweeping them under the rug makes them a lot more difficult to deal with later.

A more perfect union. If you are getting married very close to a big election, use that as your theme. One couple even designed their own campaign logo and used a red, white and blue color scheme. The “Perfect Union” theme was represented throughout the entire event, the invitations were playful, personal and gorgeous. Their solution was bringing everyone together and having fun with it. Jib Jab mastered this with their 2004 campaign video “This land is your land”. Still the funniest satire I have ever seen about any election…ever. It’s worth watching if you’re considering this option.

Seating. Let’s say you have a cousin who is a big fundraiser for the Democratic party and a beloved aunt who is a staunch Republican contributor. In addition, each one of them happens to be the type who can only talk about one ting: politics. Do your best not to seat them at the same table. You can’t tell people what to talk about at your reception but, putting two heavily invested people directly next to each other is a bad idea. They cannot help themselves because most people generally think their opinion is the only one that matters If you don’t believe me, just go on facebook and scroll through various status updates.

What makes each of us choose our political persuasion is life experience. Oddly enough, the same experience that turns one voter off will turn the next voter into a supporter. You cannot expect everyone to share your passion for an issue or a candidate, you can only accept the differences and move on. In addition, if you decide to turn your wedding into a one-sided political party event, be prepared for some no-shows or dissenting opinions.

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

A wedding party stops by GOP Presidential candidate Rick Santorum's headquarters in Charleston, South Carolina on the state's primary day, January 21.

RSVP up close and personalCampaign logo

The Down Side of Micro-Managing Your Wedding

Posted on by

I’ve heard the term ‘micro-managing’ used for years, never knowing the exact definition of it until last summer when I encountered a young woman about to get married. This well intended young lady actually took on the task of overseeing every minute detail of her wedding to the point where she wanted the exact same number of green leaves in each bouquet. She examined every picture and product under a figurative microscope to a degree that probably sent every vendor to therapy after the event was over. This  management style, known as “micro-managing,” is defined by a petty  approach to managing every detail of one’s business. Imagine Donald Trump checking the copier every day to see how much toner is left… that’s micro-managing.

So, how do detail oriented couples get past the urge to micro-manage?

Start with a list. Prioritize everything that you, as a couple, find important and sign it. Use that list to avoid future arguments and make sure you both have your list at all times. This way you can say “Hey, that’s not on the list – so let’s not worry too much about it.”

Divert attention. Keeping yourself otherwise occupied will remind you that you are not defined by this event. Making it a priority and letting it consume all aspects of your life are two entirely different things.

Delegate. If someone offers to do something for you, let them do it. Pick up color samples, drop off a deposit check, place stamps on the invitation envelopes…. these are things that can be done by any responsible person. Responsible is the key word.

Hire professionals. Hiring reliable, trustworthy professionals to do the work will alleviate a lot of stress. A certified wedding planner will look after every detail so you don’t have to. They have established relationships within the industry, they can find deals, shortcuts and have experience with common mistakes. Using a wedding planner will cut your urge to micro-manage in half.

The one detail you can and should manage is to always check references. Never use a vendor that has no portfolio or client testimonials. Don’t settle for what they have listed on their website or in a brochure, you need to do some legwork; talk to clients, check with the BBB and other resources.

If you remember your priorities, trust each other and hire reliable vendors, there will be no need to spend every waking hour filling your appointment book with trivial, time-consuming, meaningless tasks.

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

 

Remembering Loved Ones At Your Wedding

Posted on by

The date is set, the hall is booked, you have every detail of your wedding meticulously planned and you couldn’t be more excited for your wedding day to arrive. The only problem is that someone you loved is no longer here to share it with you. Whether it is wedding gown shopping with your mother or missing out on dancing with your father, there is an empty spot at your wedding and nothing or no one can fill that void. Instead of glossing it over, or trying to forget about how it would have ( should have) been, focus on including your dearly departed loved ones in the ceremony and reception in a way that keeps them close to your heart. There are a dozens of ways to remember your loved ones on this special day without turning a celebration into a maudlin occasion, here some of our favorites.

Have an empty chair where this person would have been seated and place a rose on the chair to signify their importance.

Wear something that the loved one wore on their wedding day or use portions of it creatively, like sewing a portion of your father’s favorite tie sewn into a garter or handkerchief.

Include lighting  a candle for that person into your ceremony. Don’t forget to include the details in the wedding program so everyone knows what is going on.

Include a framed photo of your loved one on the table by the guest book.

Mention them in your wedding toast. Raising a glass to someone is sometimes the most appropriate form of remembrance but, keep it short.

Use one of their favorite songs as your first dance or another significant moment in the day.

Whether you lost your loved one a month or many years ago, they are always missed especially during these special times. The best way to honor them is by adding touches to your wedding that celebrates the special times they shared with you. In other words, make it personal.

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

 

What Is Your Aisle Style?

Posted on by

The music begins, the bride enters the venue, everyone rises as she begins the trip down the aisle. Everyone turns to face the back of the venue, and all simultaneously turn as she passes their seating area. All eyes follow her as she makes the trip down the aisle to until she reaches the point where she will meet her future husband to recite their vows.   Not much has changed for the journey down the aisle in hundreds of years. That is all about to change.  You’re asking, “So, what’a new in wedding aisles?”. Everything. As weding become less about what s expected and more about what best expresses each couple, someone very clever came up with some innovative and groundbreaking aisle ideas.

Spiral Seating – Best for (but, not limited to) outdoor venues.Arranging th seating in a spiral fashion allows more movement throughout the crowd so everyone can get a close-up look ot the bride. It is a more informal, casual approach and definitely one that will hold your guests attention. Not to mention, everyone gets a front row seat!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Center Stage – Arranging the chairs in a thater-in-the-round fashion will give everyone the same exact vantage point. This is also best for outdoor venues and can seat dozens of people in a manner where there is no overcrowding and no one has to overextend their neck too far to see what is going on. Topped off with a canopy in the center, this is  fantastic opportunity to show off your lavish or simple decorating touches.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Standard– Of course the classics never die! You can’t go wrong with the traditional aisle where seats are neatly arranged in rows, this will undoubtedly never go out of fashion.  When choosing pew or chair decor, remember that people will need to be able to enter the rows easily. Candles may seem like a good idea but, only if they are inside of  lanterns or some other protective covering. Consider artificial candles that silmulate the real thing to perfection, compete with flickering light. The worst thing would be to have exposed flame in a confined area with yards of silk and tulle.

Couples today are using every avenue available to them to express their individuality and to figure out the best way to make their wedding suit ther persnalities. Sometimes changeing things this ingrained in history and tradition causes arguments and criticism among concerned family members. This is code for some people (parents) don’t like change. If you are one of the pioneers of a Spiral Aisle then, be prepared for some heated discussion and/or criticism. Remind them gently that this is your choice and “Change is good.”

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

Your Mother’s Gown – A Delicate Matter

Posted on by

You have seen your parent’s wedding portrait hanging in the house for years. As a little girl, you probably thought your mother’s gown was the most beautiful thing you had ever seen. As a teenage girl, you probably thought it was dated or possible hideous. As a newly engaged woman, the idea of wearing your mother’s gown has probably entered into conversation at least once. She ‘saved’ it, had it heirloomed or preserved in acid-free tissue so that you would one day be able to walk down the aisle in the gown she chose so many years ago.

Just a few problems with this scenario: 1) She chose it for herself, not a child that had yet to be born. 2) It probably is dated. 3) You are more than likely not the same size. 4) What if you have sisters? Are you all supposed to wear her gown… all of you wearing exact same gown?

Let’s face it – you probably don’t want to wear it. You probably have an idea of  how you want to look on your wedding day and it doesn’t involve anything from your mother’s closet. It’s not vintage enough, it’s not retro enough, its just not enough!

So what do you do when she brings out the giant heirloom box and starts to talk about how beautiful you are going to look? Be gentle, be kind but, be honest.  tell her your exact feelings as nicely as possible. You should definitely try it on, tell stories and laugh! When the time comes, just  tell her that you want a different style or color or whatever the case may be.  you may be shocked at how easily she takes the news. You see, as a mom, I can tell you that when you save these things for your children you are really saving them for yourself.  
A compromise may be to use parts of the gown for something on your wedding day ensemble. Adding some of her lace to your gown is a beautiful sentiment and it leaves other elements for siblings to use as well.  Putting the edge on a handkerchief or using some of the fabric for a purse or to decorate a card box is equally nice.

Your wedding gown is probably the single costliest clothing item you will ever own, you will be photographed more wearing this gown than anything else you ever wear, you will hang your wedding portrait in your house and probably keep it in the same spot forever.

Whatever gown you choose, make sure to include your mother in the process ( and not just her wallet) so that she feels as special on your day as she did on hers so many years ago.

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

Express Yourself With Fun Finishing Touches

Posted on by

Most women spend their entire life being overly critical of their figure, hair, skin and obsessing for decades over every detail of their appearance. When it comes to their wedding day, it gets even worse. The gown must be perfect, not to mention the veil, hair, makeup, manicure, pedicure, shoes, jewelry, etc. What some women forget in the entire process of trying to be perfect is how important it is to be yourself.  Don’t try to be someone that you are not, don’t try to please everyone and lose sight of who you really are. Most of all, you should be having fun.

Don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t wear a bright red or pink petticoat under your bridal gown. In fact, this might be the time to find matching shoes.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Although there are some who might say parasols are outdated and old fashioned, I think they do the trick nicely to keep the sun out of your eyes. They also add a touch of whimsy to photos!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When it comes to the reception table settings, some people just are not happy with the traditional white. Incorporating the wedding colors into the dinnerware will jazz up any table and these square green dessert plates serve up the corresponding cake quite deliciously. Did I mention they are square?

 

 

 

 If you are going full Retro for your wedding, why not complete the theme with a full service Milk Shake Bar in lieu of a Sweet Table?

 

 As I always say, this is your wedding. It is your time to express yourself and do something truly unique and fun. With any luck, you might just set the next new trend!

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago