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Blending Cultures At Your Wedding

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If you think planning a wedding is hard, imagine how hard it is to plan a wedding with families from two entirely different backgrounds and customs. Even if everyone is in agreement about the specifics, there will be times when you will be worried about which traditions to use from each culture. Don’t sweat it… really. The truth is  that  the  absolute, hands-down best weddings are the ones where  couples incorporate customs from every aspect of their blended life and start their own.

There are no rules that say both couples cannot express their families’ wedding customs together. In fact, you may find that your customs are similar. This is nothing to argue about, this is a chance to open up to one another and to show your future in-laws you are willing to compromise.

Jumping the Broom is a custom that originated in Scotland or England among the Gypsy clans. It was adopted in the United States by African Americans during slavery and brought back into popular practice after several books and movies recognizing this (blended, borrowed) African American tradition. It is a symbolic gesture of togetherness. I wish it was a symbol that my husband was going to sweep the floor.

In Italy, either a roasted baby pig (porchetta) or roasted baby lamb (bacchio), depending on region, may be served, accompanied by two pasta dishes and assorted fresh fruit. As a symbol of the essence of marriage, newlyweds hand out sugared almonds representing the bitter and the sweet in life.

At a traditional Greek wedding, dishes are smashed on the floor for good luck and money is thrown at the musicians. Back to the broom – that is some cleanup!

Jewish weddings feature a lively Israeli dance called the Hora. While the couple holds on to either end of a handkerchief, they are lifted into the air on  their chairs and the dancing continues. Hold on tight so that no one drops you!

Hindu/Indian weddings are  lively affairs that can last up to four days. For a blended family you can go  traditional American for your formal wear but, consider using colorful reds, golds and deep orange for your wedding theme since they signify happiness and prosperity.

Korean weddings serve Kuk soo (noodles), which symbolize long life. To find out if someone is married, ask “Kuk soo mo-gus-soy-oh?” (“Have you eaten noodles yet?”)

Arras In the Mexican tradition, the groom gives the bride thirteen gold coins blessed by the priest. The presentation and acceptance signifies their bond and the coins are saved as a family heirloom. Have you seen the price of gold, lately? …..that is some gift!

If by some chance your family does not have any specific cultural background or no specific way they celebrate rites of passage other than traditional American customs, don’t come unglued when the other party suggests something you’ve never heard of. Open yourself up to new possibilities; the food, the music, the decorations – you may be surprised.

Start your own traditions as well; candle lighting, sand ceremony, even something as simple as writing your own vows or changing the music as you walk down tha aisle can make a huge difference.  Merging families isn’t just about sticking people in the same room and expecting them to get along. It is about making other people feel like they are important, and your actions will speak louder than words.

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

Getting Dressed On Your Wedding Day

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You have probably been able to get dressed all by yourself since you were about 6 years old. Maybe back then you had a little trouble with the shoe laces but, other than that, getting dressed has pretty much been a solo act for the remainder of your life… then comes your wedding day.

Not so long ago, brides, grooms and the wedding party ( including parents) got dressed at their individual homes,  with the photographer snapping pictures throughout  the process to show the transformation for regular citizen to bride (or groom). I’m sure this  still takes place. However,one of the best decisions you can make  is  arrangements to prepare for your wedding on site. Why? I’m glad you asked!

Three compelling reasons to get dressed at the venue and not at home:

#1) Weather. Weather can be your worst nightmare for three reasons: Cold, rain and humidity. In cold temperatures, you will have to purchase something fashionable and attractive to go over the gown so you don’t freeze to death on the way there. Rain will mess up not only your gown but, also your hair, makeup and any chance you have for looking your best. Remember last weekend when buckets of rain were pouring down from the sky? Humidity can frizz or flatten, expand or squash … almost every hair type falls prey to humidity. It will also cause your gown to wrinkle easily since there is more moisture in the air.

#2) Wrinkles. Speaking of wrinkles, the men will get wrinkled pants from sitting, the bridesmaids gowns will most likely need to be re-steamed and any silk bridal gown will be a wrinkled mess after traveling even a short distance after being seated in a vehicle… even for a short time.

#3) Time– Getting ready at home provides you with a false sense of time; you are never in a hurry until you realize you are late. Getting ready at the church or ceremony site will keep you mindful that the clock is ticking.

Instead of worrying about these inconveniences, plan on getting dressed at the place where the ceremony will occur.

-Make arrangements in advance for a dressing area that is spacious and  have refreshments on hand.

-Have your hair and makeup done prior to getting dressed.

– Allow extra time for conditions like humidity which may require additional products for your hair and makeup.

-Rent, borrow or buy a steamer  to do touch ups on gowns and tuxedos. An iron will work on some fabrics but gowns with pickup skirts and layers of tulle will need to be steamed.

– Hire or appoint someone as your dresser. If your bridal salon offers this service, it is well worth it. They can steam, button, zip, fluff, adjust and inspect the bridal party so that everyone walks down the aisle perfectly coiffed and put together.

You will never regret the decision to get dressed at the site where things will take place. You will have more room, less distractions, and an added bonus is that the photographer can capture images of both male and female members preparing for the wedding simultaneously.

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

 

Kids and Weddings – Yes or No?

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The best part about your wedding is having everyone you love in one place at one time. Aunts, uncles, cousins, best friends and (may times) their significant others. People with whom you have shared experiences, and looking forward to adding this to your list of fond memories. Then, the subject of kids comes up. The subject of children at weddings is a buzzkill for almost everyone …with or without children.

People with children don’t understand why you don’t want their little darlings around, why they have to exclude their children (part of the family) from a family gathering. They do not always want to leave their children out of the celebration and if there is travel involved, how long do they have to make arrangements for their children’s well-being? They consider it a huge inconvenience and some parents will be resentful.

But, some people with children don’t always want to travel with them or take them to a fancy event. They would like to have a night out without worrying about who ate their vegetables and making sure someone uses the right spoon. No highchairs, no temper tantrums, no whining…just a night out with your spouse and a glass (or two) of chardonnay.

People without children would often prefer you leave them at home, find a sitter and be done with it. They haven’t bonded with children, they don’t need or want the worry of children ruining their event with bad behavior,  out of control, touching things that don’t need to be touched. They are not as enamored with your children as you are.

Buzzkill.

Points to consider:

Kids are fun. they dance and laugh and eat cake. They will be all dressed up and probably not eat too much, anyway.

If you are paying $100 per person for dinner, how can you justify spending this much one someone who would probably rather eat McNuggets?

Kids are noisy – what if they can’t keep quiet during the ceremony?

Kids are messy. They will probably have filthy hands and want to touch the wedding gown or other things that don’t need to  be touched.

There is also the age thing: What is the cut off? There is a big difference between a 17 yr old and a 4 yr old.

The simple fact is that if you don’t want children at your wedding, state it on the invitation and make sure you are prepared for the fallout. If you are allowing children at your wedding, state it on the invitation and be prepared for the fallout. Either way you are not going to make everyone happy.

Make your decision (as a couple) and move on, you have nothing to explain and no explaining will make a difference, anway. It is your wedding.

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

 

Paying It Forward – Wedding Style

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If you’re like me, the day after a large gathering at your home there is always tons of leftovers and things that are going to potentially go to waste. If there is that much extra just at my house, imagine how much goes to waste after every wedding, at every venue, every single time. I think about those things.

I know I am not alone, especially since there are the David Rothsteins of the world who have the ability to take action… and do just that. David, of the award-winning David Rothstein Music began a program to honor his grandparents called “Share Your Love” and since April 2008 has donated over 4,000 floral arrangements to local nursing homes, post-wedding. The story is inspiring and amusing, it’s worth the read. https://drsmusic.com/sharelove.html

However, you don’t have to be an industry insider or a renowned music professional in Chicago to take part in this recycling extravaganza. Here’s how you can do something good and ‘share the love’ yourself:

First, this is not something the bride and groom could or should physically handle. Appoint a wedding ambassador to handle this. Utilize  an event planner, maid of honor, best man or whomever is the most reliable and capable of handling this this task. You can make the arrangements pre-wedding and then sleep better knowing you have given something extra life by donating.

Flowers certainly lift everyone’s spirits, so make arrangements with a nursing home near your venue to either have your flowers dropped off or they may have someone who can pick them up, post-wedding.

Food products can be donated through local food banks or through ‘Feeding America’. If you have a catered affair and the catering company presents you with trays of leftover food, whatever reclamation program you decide will be delighted ! Again, make the arrangements ahead of time and donate whatever you can.  www.feedingamerica.org

Donating Bridal Gowns and bridesmaid dresses is extremely generous and a great way to  give. Gowns can be donated to a variety of organizations which can be seen at https://www.donatemyweddingdress.org/ . If your gown is stained, ripped or damaged you can make other arrangements through  the Mary Madeline project which uses the fabric to make burial garments for stillborn infants. https://marymadelineproject.org .

Whether you choose to focus on donating one item or go all out and give everything you can part with to charity, the feeling of paying it forward is overwhelming. Remember to make all of your arrangements pre-wedding since post-wedding you will be busy writing thank you cards and settling in to your new life and the importance of giving may take a backseat to your daily tasks.

 

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

Sponsored Weddings – Tacky or Tasteful

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From ads on craigslist and eBay begging for sponsors to “C” list celebrities and reality stars getting gratis goods or  magazines paying millions for exclusive photos , sponsored weddings have become not-so-tacky as they once seemed when Star Jones got married in 2004. For those of you who don’t remember Star Jones ( insert ironic joke here), her motive was as follows: in exchange for extolling the virtues of  all of the freebie vendors by name in public at every turn of the conversation and tons of high-profile referrals, Ms. Jones was given the’ Star’ treatment  at  little or no cost. Being a co-host on a highly rated daytime talk show, her salary was beyond what most Americans make in a decade but she opted for the freebie route instead of paying… and a trend was born.

In all fairness celebrities have been getting freebies since there were celebrities. Interesting since those who can afford it the most generally wind up paying the least. Kim Kardashian’s wedding  put Star Jones to shame in terms of cost, viewership and donated goods. In all fairness, the reality star televised event was profitable for every single  sponsor, especially Kim Kardashian (to the tune of millions)….unless of course you are talking about the ‘happily ever after’ part.

For the average bride or groom, the chances of getting that kind of coverage for your wedding is out of the question. For some people it is unthinkable to even speak of having ‘sponsors’ and the idea of asking for anything free is just, well….. tacky (just ask Barbara Walters). However, if you have all the right ingredients and are willing to swallow just a tiny amount of pride, you can get a lot of freebies. There are hundreds of websites offering tips and ideas on how to go about getting sponsors, some veterans even selling their plan in e-book form.

According to Andrea Hermitt of Yahoo.com, there are several tips to get sponsors for your wedding, including:

1. Make a list of everything you will need for your wedding.

2. Plan your wedding well in advance, making sure you have plenty of time to devote to this task.

3. Make plans for a unique wedding that will turn heads.

4. Make your wedding list large (larger weddings are more likely to be sponsored).

5. Create a spectacular wedding website and make it really active to show that you have connections. The knot.com has great templates for wedding websites.

6. Get everything in writing. The last thing you want is a 50 ft banner across the aisle that announces “This wedding is brought to you by Dr.Pepper”. Interestingly enough, most ‘sponsors’ require name placement in the invitation itself. This is tricky and potentially a deal – breaker. Make sure you know what you are agreeing to before you sign on the dotted line .

7. Look for prospective sponsors who are new to the business.

8. Have something valuable to trade with them. Consider your occupation, and what you can trade personally.
 
9. Youtube it! Make a creative video, perhaps a flash mob surrounding your engagement using product placement. Perhaps a commercial parody using your wedding details. Put it on youtube and share it in Facebook.
 
10. Consider making a donation to a charity in sponsor’s names.
The bottom line when looking for sponsors is incentives. What can you offer them that will equal the value of their goods/services? How can you bring customers to their business in a positive way? Some call it sponsors, but essentially it is bartering.
 
Whether you are paying full price or getting everything for free, make sure to check out each business you are dealing with; either by referrals, the BBB or whatever resource you generally use because unfortunately,you get what you pay for. 
 
-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

Celebrity Weddings – Summer 2012

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This season, we have seen a slew of celebrity weddings and summer isn’t over yet! Still awaiting my save-the-date for Angelina and Brad’s nuptials but, for now I’ll re-cap what we’ve seen so far. The most interesting trend in celebrity nuptials is the private ceremony in a remote location, usually a friend’s home far away form paparazzi, far from the helicopters and the multi-million dollar fiasco reminiscent of the Kardashian debacle of 2011, these power couples opted for quiet, romantic, heartfelt nuptials.

Natalie Portman wore Rodarte for her simple candlelight ceremony to Benjamin Millipied.

Natalie Portman Wedding Dress

Ellie Kemper in NYC headed to the altar wearing Judd Waddell.

Mrs. Alec Baldwin, Hilaria Thomas, wearing Amsale for her early summer nuptials also in NYC.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 Priscilla Chen chose this stunning  Claire Pettibone gown under an assumed name, assuming marrying MArk Zuckerberg might raise a few eyebrows… and alert the media.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Drew Barrymore opted for an unusual design by Chanel. This is a love or hate gown, for sure.

Camila Alves  wore a delicate beaded lace wedding gown handmade by Brazilian dress designer Ducarmo Castelo Branco. Alright, alright, alright!

Best Wishes to all of the happy couples of Summer 2012!

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

 

Pass The Fruit & Vegetables, Please.

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Using vegetables and fruit with (or without)  various flowers to adorn the center of a dining table has been around since Julius Caesar first asked, “Who hid  the grapes?” It only seems like a new idea when it shows up on the cover of a magazine or when it is done in such a dramatic, interesting way that you have to stand up and take notice. ZFor best results,  use them in conjunction with your particular theme or food choices.

Rustic Italian – Entice your guests with an abundance of ripe fruits or vegetables to symbolize fertility. Shown on a crisp white linen tablecloth to make the colors pop!

Earthy –  Group colorful fruits and vegetables with candles, clay pots and wrought iron candlesticks to please mother nature.

Summer Splash – Adding brightly colored citrus fruit to a simple centerpiece will  add a touch of whimsy and color!

Why Stop at the centerpiece? If you are using fruit or vegetables ( or both) why not carry the theme to other parts of the wedding, like the cake…

Remember when your mother told you not to play with your food? This is a good reminder to not get too carried away! Plus, food belongs on or near the table.

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

Worst Wedding Photos… EVER!

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Although a picture may be worth a thousand words, these example of bad wedding photography left me speechless. I am not talking about photos of the worst weddings or gowns or bad examples of themes…. I am talking about the actual photography. The pictures where a trained, professional photographer should never dare to go.

Why is the bride superimposed in the center of a rose? It may sound quaint and possibly romantic when described but, the end result is tacky and forced.

Perfectly posed looking out the window and yet, the photographer failed to notice the workmen in the background. Lets hope there was a re-take. Even still, the lighting is all wrong, along with just about everything else

One more time,  pay attention to what is going on in the background.

I’m not sure I understand the significance of the tiny groom in the shoe.Maybe someone was trying to be clever. Trying to be clever and unique is a bad idea unless you are a skilled professional.

How about a tiny little bride sitting in the groom’s hand. Even worse, there is water squirting up into her nether regions….. I don’t get it.

This man has the choice of two brides, a tiny bride and a regular sized one. Why are there two brides?

Adding ethereal backgrounds is lazy… and weird.

and why are there a bunch of roses in between the bride and groom?

 

and the winner is…………….. (drumroll, please)

A bride, superimposed on a bunch of roses, looking at herself in various poses. Is this narcissism at it’s worst (look at me) or perhaps a bad photographer who talked this woman into a photo she didn’t quite understand. I’m with her, I have no idea what this is about.

Okay, just one more…. seriously?

When you book your wedding photographer, make sure you have a clear understanding of what to expect and  their specialty.  Talk to their past clients, look through their photo albums, and if any of these photos show up, run as fast as you can!

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

Chandelier Wedding Cakes!

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In the ever-changing world of weddings, there is always something new on the horizon. Someone with ample creativity and talent takes a traditional item ( in this cakes the wedding cake) and literally turns it upside down. For those of you who have not seen the Chandelier Wedding Cake, here it is:

Beautiful, delicious, and suspended from above, Chandelier Cakes take artistry and imagination to a new level. It seems to defy the laws of gravity and common sense but, it hangs with great stability. The cake is decorated in stages and then put together using a special cake ‘stand’ that inverts the order of the stacking from smallest on bottom to largest on top.

3 tier chandelier cake stand image

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chandelier Cakes are just starting to get some notoriety but, look out for them to become very popular, thanks to Pinterest and other sites that encourage creative expression. According to Judy of Judy’s Cakes, they are easily dismantled, layer by layer from the bottom, for cutting.

I’ll have to trust Judy on this one because this sounds very complicated to me. But, this one really takes my breath away and I am looking forward to seeing more Chandelier Cakes in the future!

 

chandelier cake supports image

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

4/20 – All things Hemp

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Hemp is a controversial topic but, don’t confuse Marijuana with Hemp!  They both come from the same plant species (Cannabis) but they could not be more different: Hemp is legal to grow, Marijuana is not. No one grows Hemp for smoking or ingesting any other way. Hemp is grown specifically for the fibers, oils and seeds it produces. So you can use the Hemp guilt free!

It is also one of the world’s  greatest untapped resources. According to Hemp USA, “Hemp can be used to produce a very large variety of products from clothing to paper to building supplies to cars to fuels to food products to much, much more.  Hemp is an environmental, renewable, reusable and recyclable resource.” Okay, I’m sold. But, how does that help  with your wedding?

If you are one of the millions of engaged couples who have decided to go “Green’ with your wedding,  Hemp is great place to start. It is probably one of the most misunderstood products and the punch line for many a joke.   It is the strongest  natural fiber in the world and has been used to make paper and cloth for over ten thousand years. Below are a few of the many ways Hemp can cure your “Green Wedding” blues.

Designers  are using hemp in conjunction with silk, cotton and linen because it  makes a more attractive, durable, and softer fabric.  Hemp is grown quite well without the use of pesticides or other chemicals  and therefore wins the nod of environmentalists everywhere. Look for gowns made from Hemp – they are not the hippie creations you would imagine. Still not sure? Consider these gorgeous gowns made from Hemp/Silk blends.

 

Hemp paper is not only beautiful – it  doesn’t yellow and accepts ink better than most papers. The retailers of Hemp paper boast that the end result will also provide a smear & smudge free copy that is crisp, clear and easier to read, especially if you are able to use  Hemp ink.

Leave it to Woody Harrelson to find a Hemp Tuxedo. Menswear has finally found its place in the world of eco-conscious celebrities so it only makes since that our favorite cannibis celeb would wear this dashing tux on the red carpet. Burberry made this one but, Giorgio Armani has thrown their “Hemp Hat” into the Organic Tuxedo ring as well.

Treat your attendants to a Hemp gift basket.  Hemp oils, lotions, bath wash, beauty items, jewelry are all readily available and make a gift so organic that your bridesmaids will be green without the envy.

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-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago