Rehearsal Dinner – Who’s In , Who’s Out?

The rehearsal dinner is a pre-wedding ceremony in North American tradition, usually held after the wedding rehearsal and the night before the wedding ceremony.

Who do you invite? According to tradition, only the immediate family and wedding party are invited to the rehearsal dinner. Basically, only the actual participants in the wedding.

However, there are out of town attendants, their dates or spouses, out of town guests, extended family and all kinds of significant people you want to include in your pre-wedding event. So, where do you draw line to keep your rehearsal dinner from being as big as the wedding?

If you want to have a less formal affair, plan a late afternoon supper,  at a restaurant that is located close to where most of the out of town guests are staying and the wedding venue. To this event, you will invite only the wedding party and immediate family. After the early supper, you can invite others to join you for cocktails and mingling. Make sure to have a definite cut-off time to avoid accidental over-indulging. Come on, we all know there’s one in every crowd!

 

Consider a fun, festive restaurant for the smaller crowd, complete with a patio for expanding the fun outdoors in the summer months.

Some couples cut corners by having a larger party at a less expensive restaurant and others do the opposite; a smaller affair at a posh venue. The choice is up to you.

The fact is that most out of town guests will not expect to be invited if they are not a member of the wedding party. Most out of town guests will be happy to spend the evening before your wedding getting much needed rest from their travel and perhaps even unwind. And they will not be upset or offended by a lack of invitation to the rehearsal dinner of any kind at any venue!

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

 

Keeping the Romance Alive During Wedding Planning

You’ve had it with his mother wanting to be consulted on every detail, he’s had it with the million questions related to centerpieces and it seems like all you have to talk about is budgets or boutonnieres. If this sounds familiar, it might be time to put a little romance back into your….romance.

Romance is one of those things that means different things to different people. To some it means being whisked away to exotic locations sprinkled with rose petals and being showered with lavish gifts. In reality, romance doesn’t have to be expensive, it can be as simple as leaving a note that says “Thank You for (whatever)”  or picking up their favorite beverage instead of yours. Being romantic is more akin to being considerate, it is remembering the little things that the other person  loves and putting their wants or needs above yours. Unfortuntely romance can often take a back seat to wedding planning.

Here are  7 things you can do to light a romantic fire under your partner without breaking the bank:

1) Make – A card, a personalized playlist for the iPod,  or a special dinner complete with their favorite dishes. Giving of your time is showing the other person that you care. No credit card required.

2) Write – Do something  that says you are thinking of them during the day. Text him on the way home or shoot her an email after a work meeting or call and leave a message on the house voice mail so she will get it when she gets home before you.  Say, “I’m thinking of you”, thats all.

3) Support – When your significant other is upset about something, listen and offer your support. Sometimes they may be wrong but, your job is to support and not judge. You can offer advice later, when the emotions aren’t as raw. Just listen.

4) Clean Up – Offer to put away the dishes or do laundry when its not your turn.  Better yet – just do it. When you see the other person is struggling, step up to the plate. Cleaning off her windshield when she can’t find her gloves will most definitely show her how much you care. Trust me, there is nothing sexier than a man vacuuming or cleaning the toilet.

5) Nurture – Similar to support but nurturing goes the extra mile.  If your fiance is sick, it’s the perfect time to let him stay in bed while you pamper him with 7up and cold medicine. Maybe he doesn’t need to be completely taken care of but, he will appreciate the gesture.

6) Surprise – You know he loves Star Trek, he knows you hate it. Surprise him by setting the DVR to record the whole series to watch together later (it wouldn’t hurt if you wore a ‘Uhura’ costume)… and no complaining. Sharing something the other person likes shows that you are willing to compromise your happiness momentarily and enjoy something together.

7) Remember – Remembering important things like Birthdays and anniversaries is a must but, rememebering the inconsequential things like the right toilet paper or coffee goes above and beyond.

We’ve all heard it is the little things that make people happy. Whether it is giving up your Saturday Golf game to stay home and address envelopes or skipping Girls Night Out to have dinner with his parents, showing the other person you care about their feelings is the one  thing you can do to keep the romance alive…. forever.

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

 

 

 

Beat The Stress Of Holiday Weddings

If you are getting married over the holidays, you probably have a to-do list that is as long as your arm. Although this is the best time to blend a family celebration with a wedding , it is also the busiest time of the year for shopping, running errands and getting just about anything done. How do you handle all the stress?

1) Unplug. Make a certain time of day to unplug your cell phone, computer and do nothing. Even if it is for only one hour, the act of doing nothing will refresh your outlook. This is the perfect time for guilt-free nap, which can be quite beneficial.

2) Find a release. Engaging yourself in a hobby will occupy your mind in other areas. Don’t try to do anything too complicated, just get your mind off of the wedding and holiday planning. Crosswords and online games work just fine as does a round of zombe-killing on Xbox. Set a limit of 30 minutes a day or you may find yourself addicted to ‘Words with Friends’.

3) Release the endorphins. Take a walk, go to the gym or put on a workout DVD and get moving. Endorphins are natural pain and stress fighters that are released from the brain during  physical exercise (and intimate activities) . You can also get an endorphin boost from chili peppers and chocolate.

4) Ignore the voices. If your family is like mine and they all feel like their every opinion is so valuable that it needs to be voiced immediately, ignore them. When they call just tell them you’re busy and you’ll catch up after the wedding. They will try to drag you into a conversation but, avoid it.

5) Off- hours. Try calling business during non-peak hours so you aren’t wasting as much time on hold.  If you can, try avoid rush hour traffic as well since road rage can come out of nowhere and have disastrous results.

6) Pamper Time. According to the Mayo Clinic, taking some time out to do something you want to do for yourself can be the single most therapeutic thing you can do this time of year. Get your nails done, get a full-body or  foot massage or just sit and watch a movie you have wanted to see for a long time. Anything you have put on the back burner should be placed in the front  because pampering yourself  (even just a little) will help you unwind.

7) Drink. Even my 9 yr old knows that if you are feeling sluggish, a glass or bottle of water will perk you up. Carry a water bottle everywhere with you  and make a note of where the bathrooms are located. Drink early and often! For every cup of coffee, soda, wine, beer or juice, drink a bottle of water.

The last thing you want to do is ‘snap’. Over-scheduling, lack of sleep, too many energy drinks and family pressure can lead to an epic meltdown days before your holiday wedding. Taking it slow, sticking to the essentials, delegating responsibilities and staying hydrated will keep you in focus and out of ‘panic mode’.

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

 

 

You Might Be a Bridezilla if…….

The first known citation of the term  “Bridezilla” was in the Boston Globe in 1995 followed by a series of cartoons in Modern Bride magazine in 1999. But, it was the television series which aired in July 2004  that made the term ‘Bridezilla’ part of our modern vocabulary. 

Bridezilla is a portmanteau of two words: Bride and Godzilla. This type of morphing or blending words has become quite popular in modern culture, so much so that this one word evokes an images of an out of control, crazed, wedding obsessed woman who knows no limits.  Although rare, they are out there. Of course reality TV (aka staged, scripted versions of real life)  has tweaked the situation to make it worse but,  never underestimate the power of an engaged woman who wants to get her way. So, how do you spot these rare creatures and how do you know when your level-headed, intelligent, caring best friend has succumbed to ‘Acquired Situational Narcissism’?

 If you asked your attendant to change their hairstyle, remove a tattoo or lose weight to be in your wedding – you might be a bridezilla.

If you asked someone else to do the gift registry on your behalf because you are too busy – you might be a bridezilla.

If you have asked anyone  to address and fill in their own Thank You note – you might be a bridezilla.

If you have asked any male member of the bridal party to shave their beard, moustache or alter their appearance in any way – you might be a bridezilla.

If you are planning a wedding that is out of budget, insisting that other’s pick up the tab for things you want but cannot afford – you might be a bridezilla.

If you have had several confrontations with wedding retailers – you might be a bridezilla.

If you have told anyone what they can wear, how they can act, how much they can drink or to whom they may speak at your wedding or reception – you might be a bridezilla.

If you asked any of your attendants to gain weight so you are the thinnest person standing at the altar,  check into counseling immediately.

It appears that sometimes a wonderful, sweet, intelligent woman can turn into bridezilla for apparently no reason. The truth is that there is a reason, perhaps it is stress, family issues, work trouble and if you add all that into planning a wedding, almost anyone can let loose with a little odd behavior.

So what exactly are you supposed to do when this happpens to a friend of yours?

Smile and Nod – Remember that this person will return to normal shortly.

Offer help – She may be in over her head.

Distract – Maybe she needs a day off from wedding planning. Go for a nature hike, game of tennis, bike ride or find an amusement park. If she can unwind for one day – you will reap the benefits and you may be able to get through to her on a different level.

Intervene – Everyone who has been bearing the brunt of this behavior should come together and confront the bride with her outrageous demands. United you stand, divided you fall.

Exit – If the demands go too far and the bride will not retreat or give any concessions, you might have to remove yourself from the entire situation. This may be the only option if the bride’s demands have gone so far over the top that you have lost sight of the person you once knew. Warning: Once you go here, there is no turning back.

In reality, a very small percentage of women actually turn into the dreaded “Bridezilla”. To avoid becoming one yourself, remember what the day is really about: Your friends and family gathering together to share in your happiness. Don’t sweat the small stuff – the wedding  lasts only one day while the marriage should last forever.

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

Wedding Planning 101 – Bridal Expo

I am sure you ‘ve often heard that sometimes the truth hurts. The fact is – sometimes it doesn’t hurt at all. Sometimes the truth is easy and painless. I can give you one perfect example: The BEST first step you can take to planning your wedding is to attend one of our luxurious bridal shows. That’s the truth.

However, there are some ways to make it easier and even more painless than you could imagine. I am thrilled to pass along these tips to you so you can save time and money and have a great time at our events.

1) Make a day of it! Don’t plan to come to a show when you are in a hurry. Make this one day very special, plan a fantastic breakfast or brunch beforehand and stay for the entire show. You will not be sorry. You will save more time visiting our vendors in that one day than driving to and from every single vendor we have at our shows. How much time and money would you like to save?

2) Plan ahead. Before attending, bring a checklist of what services you need.  This will avoid confusion and save time. You won’t need to spend time shopping for vendors that you have already booked.

3) Bring your support team. Mom, Maid of Honor, Groom? who offers you the best advice and gives you the most support? Bring those people with you to keep you on task and focused on your needs.  You don’t want to bring ‘Debbie Downer’ with you and ruin an otherwise awesome event.

4) Bring contact labels. At each of our shows, you will have the eopportunity to sign up for amazing prizes and specialdeals from Bridal Expo and each of  our vendors. It saves so much time, not to mention writer’s cramp) if you have address labesl pre-printed with your contact information. Dont forget your email address ! Make sure all the information is current.

5) Bring a digital camera. Yes, we not only allow but, encourage our brides to take pictures. A picture is worth a thousand words. There will be flowers, cakes, gowns,  and all kinds of other things that you will want to remember. This is the best way to document your preferences. Later you can print those pictures and place them in your wedding planner for quick referencing.

6) Leave the kids at home. If you have small children, this is the best time to cash in a favor from a good friend and ask them to watch the kids for the day. Small children will be overwhelmed by the crowds and you will want to be able to stay focused. Plus, there are no strollers in the vendor area. The kids will thank you!

7) Arrive Early. This will give you time to register, and after you have visited every vendor you will be able to find a great seat for the Couture Runway Fashion show. No where else can you see this many luxurious designer  bridal gowns, headpieces and attendant gowns in one place.

8) Come for the show, stay for the prizes.  At each and every Bridal Expo there are fabulous prizes given away on stage before, during and after our luxurious runway fashion show. Large prizes (fabulous getaways, diamond earrings, photogrpahy packages) and smaller prizes (countertop appliances and gift certificates). Either way, you will not win the prizes if you are not there to claim them. If the bride is not present when called, our Fashion Director and show commentator, Carol Tardi, will call another name. Don’t be the one that got away!

9) Be ready to save money. Many of our vendors  offer booking specials. Dont be afraid to save money. If you are not ready to make a decision,  ask for their information so you can contact them later. They will be happy to oblige. 

10) Relax. The wedding planning process should be fun and Bridal Expo will help make it easier.  Organization is the key to staying stress-free and focused.

Call 847-428-3320 today to get  tickets to a Bridal Expo in your area, you won’t be sorry!

-Penny Frulla For Bridal Expo Chicago

Pre-Wedding Arguments – How to diffuse hot-button topics

I have never heard anyone say that if they could go back in time they would spend more time arguing about things that don’t really matter.  When it come to weddings, so much time goes into the planning that many couples are left exhausted after the event is over. Exhausted, broke and sometimes bitter.  It seems like the moment you set the date, time has no meaning except in terms of wedding planning. How soon do I need to book a reception site? How soon do we need to order invitations? WHOA!

Before you begin to discuss even one detail of your fairytale wedding, look at the topics that cause the most stress among engaged couples.

Cost – The number one argument starter. In order to avoid this argument, first define who is paying for what. Sit down with whomever is paying for anything and have a candid conversation about costs. If your parents are involved, politely ask them if they will be involved financially as well. Its is not tacky to discuss finances with immediate family. It is tacky to expect them to pay for a lavish event they cannot afford. Have a frank discussion, leaving no questions unanswered. This is the time you should define your budget clearly and leave some wiggle room. There will be some things that come up, some hidden costs that you may not have anticipated and you will want to be able to handle this with ease. Agree on every detail of the budget. If your gown budget is $2,500, make it clear to your bridal consultant and don’t try on $4,000 gowns. It may seem that having less monetary constraints would mean less arguing – not true. For each budget there is a limit. Higher budgets mean higher demands and higher expectations. Stay within your budget and you will have one less reason to disagree with your loved ones.

Prenup –  This sounds like a bad thing but it is actually a good thing. If you or your fiancee are coming into the marriage with vast amounts of financial resources, it is always a good idea to protect yourself. A good prenuptial agreement guarantees both spouses the benefits entitled to each of them as a result of their marriage. This is no reason to argue. Make sure that it is equitable, sign and forget about it.  Unfortunately love does not always last forever. Yes, you can be both romantic and realistic.

Planning – Who is handling what?  One major complaint of brides-to-be is that most men are under-involved in the planning process. Rather than argue about this, ask once and move on. In order to avoid overburdening yourself with every task and errand, delegate responsibilities as much as you can. You  mother, maid of honor, his mother, whoever you completely trust. Allow them the luxury of helping you and allow yourself the luxury of letting go of total control. 

Guest List – The guest list keeps getting longer. What to do? If you have clearly defined your budget you will know how many guests you are able to invite.  If one of your parent’s is determined to add extra guests and are not sharing the wedding expense they should be sent to their room with no video games for a week. Seriously, talk to them immediately about what you can and can not afford. One way to limit extra guests is to make sure the invitations are addressed properly. For single, unattached  friends it should be addressed to them only and it will signal they should not invite a guest. For couples with children, only list the names of the adults. Do not feel bad when guests call and ask if they can bring someone. Explain to them that the budget does not allow for this and end the conversation.
If they write it on the reply card, call them and explain over the phone why they can’t bring an extra person and on their next birthday send them a book of manners.

Seating Chart. Yes, people argue about the seating chart and I know this first-hand. In some cases, it is clearly a bad idea to mix family and friends too closely. Although there are as many cases where mixing it up entirely works great.You always want your loved ones to be comfortable with their dinner partners. If you are respectful of that, everyone will have an enjoyable event, including you.  I would strongly advise against placing two vocal activists of any same issue next to one another at a particular table. 

Each one of these topics is a reason to argue with family, friends or future spouse. It is also an opportunity to rise above the situation and agree to disagree. Do not let strong wills and opinions interfere with your happiness. Find a solution, usually somewhere in the middle, where everyone can be happy.

The best gift you can give yourself is to stay organized, focused and not let your temper get the best of you. Take a deep breath and remember that ultimately your attitude will set the tone for the entire affair, start to finish.

Words to live by:
 “Compromise is what makes nations great and marriages happy”

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago