Tag Archives: Wedding Invitations

The Infinite Possibilities of Wedding Invitations

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Before there were 31 flavors, chunky monkey, cookie dough and all kinds of other things added to ice cream there was just vanilla. Vanilla in all it’s glory is still the #1 ice cream choice and hard to resist if it is really good but, from time to time isn’t it nice to indulge in something unique and wonderful just to stimulate your senses?

The same holds true for wedding invitations. The simple engraved wedding invitation is still classic, it is still considered the epitome of style and good taste. But, with so many choices  that it is difficult not to want to express yourself creatively. The good news is that now you don’t have to sacrifice quality to achieve the result you are looking for.

Since the print quality and technology of home printers has become so commonplace people are tempted to print their invitations at home. I strongly advise against it. There are a dozen things that can go wrong, from a crooked layout to accidental misspellings to incorrect grammar. With a professional you have some recourse when the invitations arrive but, when you decide to handle this yourself there is no other option but to start over and the money you saved is now taking up more time and money to correct a problem you could have avoided. In all fairness, some do-it-yourselfers have gone this route sans problem.

Decide what you want to include in your invitation. A response card and pre-addressed, stamped envelope is standard but some couples also include a  map and locations of area restaurants and hotels for out of town guests. If you have a wedding website it is perfeclty acceptable to include a small ‘business’ card with the web address printed on it. Never include any information about gift registries on the invitation.

Sit down with your invitation specialist and go over wording. They should be able to guide you through some tricky situations like how to include step-parents, avoid lengthy diatribes as well as handle proper capitalization, punctuation, etc. The absolute worst wedding invitation I ever received had nonsensical ramblings about love and family and actually named who was ‘hosting’  the event… and it wasn’t the parents.  Somebody dropped the ball and it doesn’t matter who it is, it made the couple look out of touch and  narcissistic. If either set of parents is paying for the wedding, or even contributing a significant portion, their names should be printed in some manner on the invitation. Your invitation professional will guide you through all of this, another good reason you should not do it yourself!

Now for the fun part… picking the actual invitation. This is the single best way to express the theme of the wedding. Use color, texture, do something really different and unique or go old school with calligraphy and simple, chic engraved invitations.

Some hot picks for 2011 are:

– Monograms. Adding the couple’s first initials is the #1 choice for monogrammed invites. Bold or simple, the  monogram adds a personal touch and if done properly can be visually stunning.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

– Texture.Foil imprinted cards, laser cut papers,  organic, textured cardstock. There are as many options to add texture as there are color options.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

– Theme.  If you are going green, hosting a Renaissance wedding or headed to the beach, use that as your starting point. Starting with the invitation, guests should know exactly what kind of event you have in store for them.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

– Color. Use your wedding colors! Instead of white paper with colored ink, try the reverse – it can be stunning if done properly. If you go with white or cream paper, you can use colored borders, envelope liners or inserts to punch it up.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

– Font and Spacing. Nothing has to be symmetrical. You can space the words out to fit the page, have everything aligned to the left or right to accommodate the design. However, make sure the font matches the overall theme. Large scroll letters do not indicate a simple, modern event just as clean, simple letters will not adequately express the Victorian Garden you have planned at the reception. Ask your invitation specialist to help you narrow down your choices.

 

 

– Photos. Photos on save the date cards  have been commonplace for some time but couples are now starting to add a photo to the invitation itself.  Make sure you ask for photo quality cardstock or the image may wind up looking like an aged newspaper article.

 

 

 – Extras.Don’t forget to order the matching thank you notes, placecards, menus, program  and any other printed material you will need for your wedding. Ordering everything from the same place will save time and aggravation. It will also ensure everything is printed in the same  batch so the  ink color, style, font will be an exact match and everything will arrive at the same time.

Bridal Expo Chicago boasts the dream of the crop when it comes to wedding invitation specialists. At every show you will be amazed at the stunning choices out vendors bring! Call 847-428-3320 today to order tickets to a show in your area!

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

Gift Registries – What Do You Really Need?

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A long time ago engaged couples lived with their parents until they were married. After they were married, they needed things to set up house, like toasters and vacuum cleaners and dishes. Today’s engaged couples more than likely have lived on their own or with their fiance for a long enough period of time that they don’t have the same needs. In addition, since so many  couples have lived together or even solo for some time, they are also paying for their own wedding which means the gift registry situation becomes even more complicated.

Let’s face it – whether is is to defray the wedding expenses, pay for the honeymoon  or  a down payment on their first  home; most newlyweds could really use some cash. Unfortunately asking guests for cash is kind of tacky so, what do you do when you are faced with this dilemma?  If you would really rather receive money there are a couple of solutions to getting what you really need instead of something you might have to exchange.

Home Loan –  Believe it or not – FHA has a ‘gift’ registry that you can use  to apply to  downpayments on your first home. Friends and family can ‘gift’ as much or as little as they like or are able and you are notified every time someone makes a donation. It serves a dual purpose since it will allow otherwise cash-strapped individuals to purchase a home during the housing slump, thereby saving homes from foreclosure and (slowly) improving the housing market. This is an interest bearing account so don’t be surprised if you see your balance climbing higher every time you check. Genius!

Cash Registry– There are dozens of registry sites dedicated to helping you get the money you need as well as making sure your money is safe and available when you need it. PayPal has even jumped on the bandwagon and offers a secure method of accepting cash gifts. Again, you are notified of each and every gift as it arrives which makes it easier to track ….and send thank you notes. Check for one that is reputable, check their references and FDIC requirements, make sure there are no loopholes or fees and read before you sign anything. The account may be interest bearing but might come with a debit card you can use for purchases that charge a transaction fee.

Honeymoon– Many travel agencies offer honeymooon registries where the guests’ donations are used to whittle down the honeymoon cost. This could turn a ho-hum honeymoon into a dream vacation….never underestimate the generosity of your loved ones.

If all else fails – ask for money. When someone asks you what you need, tell them you have everything you need but are saving for _______ (whatever). Don’t be surprised if some people don’t want to give money. In some cultures, it is taboo to give or receive cash as a wedding gift, in others it is preferred.  Also there is no minimum or ‘per plate’ standard. The gift you give or receive should be based on the closeness of your relationship and what your guest can afford.If you are expecting  cash gifts, remember to have a place to keep the envelopes safe.  Clever retailers everywhere sell decorative boxes and beautiful alternatives to a plain box sitting on the gift table. Consider a Victorian Birdcage!

Sweet Charity– Last but not least, if you have every household item you could ever need or want and money is not a problem for either of you, congratulations. In this case, you may want donations to be made to charity on your behalf.  As we all know, there are millions of needy people throughout the world and if giving to others is in your heart, there are  many charities which allow you to do this. Make sure they are listed with the IRS as a charitable organization and have Form 990 documentation readily available. Select a charity or two that is close to your heart or that you strongly believe in and request conrtibutions to be made to them in lieu of gifts.

As always, it is never appropriate to ask for gifts anywhere in the wedding invitation. Use personal correspondences, website and word of mouth to let people know where you are registered. Although many companies provide inserts for invitations, these are used only for shower invitations and never for the actual wedding invitation or save-the-date cards.

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

Who Makes The Cut? How To Trim Your Guest List

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Once the budget  is determined for your wedding it is time to start planning! Of course it sounds like fun but, the devil is in the details and when it comes to whittling down a  guest list – be prepared to feel some stress.

If you are planning a large wedding with a limitless budget and an over-sized guest  list this can be even harder since everyone you have ever known (even peripherally) will expect to be invited. Look at all of the media attention devoted to the supposed ‘snub’ of the Obamas at the recent royal nuptials in April.

So how does one go about keeping their guest list under control without offending ?

1) Keeping your budget in mind, decide how many guests you will be able to invite.

2) Make a  list of everyone you would like to invite and see how close you are to that number. Remember that roughly 25% will be unable to attend so factor that into the equation. There are several ‘guest list’ templates available for computer use.

3) To begin eliminating immediately, use the one year rule for friends and extended family. If you have not seem or spoken to them in over a year, you are not obligated to invite them to your wedding.

4) Eliminate children. Address the invitation to the parents only and spell out very clearly that it is an adults only reception. You can do this in many ways but the easiest is through the save the date cards.

5) Ask both sets of parents to help you  reduce your list.

6) You do not have to invite co-workers unless you have a close friendship outside of work. Also if you invite one co-worker that you are very close to, you do not have to invite everyone. You shouldn’t have to defend your decision so if someone mentions the fact that they weren’t invited and another co-worker was, look them squarely in the eye and say “I am close friends with Sandra, of course she is invited!” If they are too thick to understand your implication, just walk away.

7) Unless you are of some political or social stature, every one of your parents’ friends and co-workers do not have to be invited. Keep the ones with whom you have a special relationship and move on. Of course it is good manners to allow the parents to invite a few guests.

8) You do not have to reciprocate. If you were invited to some one’s wedding fifteen years ago, this does not mean you have to invite them to your wedding. Things change and they know this as well as you do.

9) Don’t worry about inviting the same amount of people from both sides of the family. If he is from a large family and you are an only child there will be a difference in numbers.

At the end of the process, you should have a guest list that is within your budget and everyone is satisfied. Use this list as a master list and make changes as they occur. Never invite anyone to a shower or send ‘save the date’ cards unless they are invited to the actual wedding. Remember, an open dialogue will solve everything and you do not have to feel bad if you cannot invite every single one of your ‘facebook friends’. The most important people are your immediate family and closest friends and the two of you.

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

July 4th Weddings – Something Red, White and Blue!

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Independence Day is approaching and this year there is a rare opportunity for an additional 3 day weekend on our calendars. Memorial Day and Labor Day are always on a Monday but, July 4th (when it falls on a Monday) is an added bonus.  What that means for brides and grooms is that those who decided to combine their wedding with the glorious celebration of our nation’s independence are able to have a Sunday event, possibly save some money and more importantly  incorporate a major American Historic Celebration  into their event.

Experts have been telling us for years that having a Friday or Sunday event means saving money on most of the wedding costs but, with that Sunday being on a holiday weekend, you may have to negotiate the savings a little. Holiday weekends book fast so plan in advance! 

If you are interested in incorporating this momentous occasion in American History into your wedding, there are several ways to do it without being super tacky and having your wedding look like an Americana craft fair.

DO:

– Add some sparkle to the correspondences. Bursts of color on the save the date cards will remind your guests of the dual importance of the celebratory date.

-Navy blue bridesmaids gowns  are classic and you can get the desired effect instantly without going overboard. Add some simple red or white bouquets and you have the sizzle!

– Consider serving traditional American cuisine. Your guests will not be disappointed when they are presented with the perfect steak and potato.  A beautifully presented tray of garnishes  will make  guests think they have stepped up to a gourmet baked potato bar.

-Table decor is the perfect place to incorporate some sparkle and color. All white table linens will never look more crisp than when they are accented with a touch of navy or red.

– Add  Martha Stewart’s perfect parfait and some patriotic colored candy treats to the sweet table for a tasty trip down memory lane.

BONUS: With the July 4th celebration comes fireworks – usually lots of fireworks. Find a location that has access to a  fireworks display and your guests will be treated to their own personal light show.

DON’T:

-Give sparklers to guests. Fire + Party = trip to the emergency room.

– Think your bridal gown has to have any color at all. The red sash and accents have been done to death.  Even worse, draping yourself in a modified flag will make you look like you are the Grand Marshall of the local parade.

-Insist on centerpieces in red, white and blue. I have yet to see any centerpiece with this color combination that does not look cheap. Blue carnations are suspect, at best. I don’t even want to talk about carnations.

– Get too carried away with the theme. Accents are great but, walking into a room that looks like it was decorated by Betsy Ross (on crack) is called ‘sensory overload”.

My husband and I celebrate one of our wedding anniversaries on this special holiday so it is a very sentimental occasion for me. To all couples getting married this July 4th weekend I wish you a heartfelt congratulation and a lifetime of happiness.

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

Pre-Wedding Arguments – How to diffuse hot-button topics

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I have never heard anyone say that if they could go back in time they would spend more time arguing about things that don’t really matter.  When it come to weddings, so much time goes into the planning that many couples are left exhausted after the event is over. Exhausted, broke and sometimes bitter.  It seems like the moment you set the date, time has no meaning except in terms of wedding planning. How soon do I need to book a reception site? How soon do we need to order invitations? WHOA!

Before you begin to discuss even one detail of your fairytale wedding, look at the topics that cause the most stress among engaged couples.

Cost – The number one argument starter. In order to avoid this argument, first define who is paying for what. Sit down with whomever is paying for anything and have a candid conversation about costs. If your parents are involved, politely ask them if they will be involved financially as well. Its is not tacky to discuss finances with immediate family. It is tacky to expect them to pay for a lavish event they cannot afford. Have a frank discussion, leaving no questions unanswered. This is the time you should define your budget clearly and leave some wiggle room. There will be some things that come up, some hidden costs that you may not have anticipated and you will want to be able to handle this with ease. Agree on every detail of the budget. If your gown budget is $2,500, make it clear to your bridal consultant and don’t try on $4,000 gowns. It may seem that having less monetary constraints would mean less arguing – not true. For each budget there is a limit. Higher budgets mean higher demands and higher expectations. Stay within your budget and you will have one less reason to disagree with your loved ones.

Prenup –  This sounds like a bad thing but it is actually a good thing. If you or your fiancee are coming into the marriage with vast amounts of financial resources, it is always a good idea to protect yourself. A good prenuptial agreement guarantees both spouses the benefits entitled to each of them as a result of their marriage. This is no reason to argue. Make sure that it is equitable, sign and forget about it.  Unfortunately love does not always last forever. Yes, you can be both romantic and realistic.

Planning – Who is handling what?  One major complaint of brides-to-be is that most men are under-involved in the planning process. Rather than argue about this, ask once and move on. In order to avoid overburdening yourself with every task and errand, delegate responsibilities as much as you can. You  mother, maid of honor, his mother, whoever you completely trust. Allow them the luxury of helping you and allow yourself the luxury of letting go of total control. 

Guest List – The guest list keeps getting longer. What to do? If you have clearly defined your budget you will know how many guests you are able to invite.  If one of your parent’s is determined to add extra guests and are not sharing the wedding expense they should be sent to their room with no video games for a week. Seriously, talk to them immediately about what you can and can not afford. One way to limit extra guests is to make sure the invitations are addressed properly. For single, unattached  friends it should be addressed to them only and it will signal they should not invite a guest. For couples with children, only list the names of the adults. Do not feel bad when guests call and ask if they can bring someone. Explain to them that the budget does not allow for this and end the conversation.
If they write it on the reply card, call them and explain over the phone why they can’t bring an extra person and on their next birthday send them a book of manners.

Seating Chart. Yes, people argue about the seating chart and I know this first-hand. In some cases, it is clearly a bad idea to mix family and friends too closely. Although there are as many cases where mixing it up entirely works great.You always want your loved ones to be comfortable with their dinner partners. If you are respectful of that, everyone will have an enjoyable event, including you.  I would strongly advise against placing two vocal activists of any same issue next to one another at a particular table. 

Each one of these topics is a reason to argue with family, friends or future spouse. It is also an opportunity to rise above the situation and agree to disagree. Do not let strong wills and opinions interfere with your happiness. Find a solution, usually somewhere in the middle, where everyone can be happy.

The best gift you can give yourself is to stay organized, focused and not let your temper get the best of you. Take a deep breath and remember that ultimately your attitude will set the tone for the entire affair, start to finish.

Words to live by:
 “Compromise is what makes nations great and marriages happy”

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

Wedding Etiquette – Who to invite?

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In 2011, the average wedding will include about 150 guests. Although that seems like a lot of people, most people find limiting it to 150 becomes a task. Your co-workers, close friends, family, your fiance’s co-corkers, close friends, family all add up very quickly and it is hard to establish a cut-off point. This is one of those subjects that can easily escalate into an argument and cause tons of stress. I’ve put together some pointers to help you to understand when enough is enough. 

1) Get a pen and paper. Make a list that includes absolutely everyone you would like to invite to your wedding. Now comes the hard part. If the number of people on your list exceeds the number of guests you have budgeted for, you have some tough decisions to make. Take a deep breath before you move on because this is where you must be willing to compromise a little.

2) The one year rule. If you have not had a meaningful conversation with a friend in over a year, they do not need to be invited. This applies to friends only, not family. Mark them off of the list and move on.

3) Extended Family –  You don’t need to invite cousins, second cousins and long – lost relatives from all parts of the country if you have no real relationship with them. Invite only the people you are closest to.

4) Payback -You do not have to invite everyone who has ever invited you to their wedding. Relationships change and some couples have weddings with 500 guests.

5) No Children.  Inviting a family of six can easily be reduced to a table for two with two simple words on the invitation: no children.

6) Include names. If your invitation is for 2 people only, make it clear.  The Anderson family could be 4 or more people. Mr & Mrs. Anderson is simple and direct.

7) Co-workers – Only invite co-workers if you socialize with them outside of work and have a personal relationship with them. You do not have to invite everyone you work with. If you are obliged to invite your boss, make sure you handle this discreetly and invite those who may make a difference in your next promotion.

8) Do not send a save-the-date card to anyone you are not going to invite to the wedding, it is in very bad taste. There is one exception: if there has been a serious falling out since the save the date was sent, you are not obligated to send an invitation. However, this might be a good time to bury the hatchet and settle your differences unless you want this feud to continue and fester for a long time.

9) Ex-lovers or spouses. Realistically not all brides and grooms are marrying the first person they dated and they first person with whom they were intimate. There are  conditions; only if you are on good terms, you both agree,  they can be invited without causing a stir, and your guest limit allows.

10) 25% rule. One -fourth of your invited guests will not come for whatever reason….that’s a good thing.

Once you have your list together, make a legible copy to keep in your planner so when the replies start to come in you can keep track of them easily.

If all esle fails and you really can’t whittle down your list, have a candid conversation with both sets of parents and ask them to help you!

–Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

“You are cordially invited” – Stationery made simple

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If the eyes truly are the window to one’s soul, your invitations are a window to what guests can expect at your wedding. Traditional or modern, conservative or funky, there is an invitation style for everyone. The question is: With so many choices, how does one find the right style for their nuptials?  Here are some easy steps to help you decide on your invitations.

 Do you have a specific style to your wedding? Formal, ultra-formal, casual or somewhere in between; find a style of invitation that suits the occasion. Your paper professional should be able to help you through this process, guiding you as to any specific rules governing each style.

Is there a theme to the decor of the wedding? Whether you have decided on a grand technicolor  scheme or if you opted on black and white everywhere, you’ll want to include that into the design of the invitation. Don’t be afraid to incorporate your colors and style  into your stationery choices and try not to be overwhelmed by all of the extras. Ribbon-ties, calligraphy, engraved, photographs… and the list goes on.  Take a deep  breath and keep your venue, color selection and your personal style in mind.

Budget is also a consideration so make sure you have all your needs in place before you decide on a particular invitation so you don’t get caught without some of the essentials. Save-the-date cards, Invitations, programs, inserts, placecards, table markers, guest book and thank you notes are all part of this important package.

If your wedding has some unique elements and you are not sure how to handle the wording, always consult your invitation specialist. Don’t forget to proofread everything before you put it in the mail and check with the post office to make sure you have proper postage on the envelope. You don’t want 150 invitations coming back to you because a square envelope ( no matter how small) requires extra postage.

According to all  planning resources, your wedding invitations should be in the mail no less than 6 weeks before the event.  Save the date cards are a whopping 6- 8 months in advance. This means it is never too soon to make plans to attend a Bridal Expo in your area.   Visit www.bridalshowexpo.com  for links to our vendors and to get four complimentary tickets so you can find an invitation specialist near you.

– Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago