Tag Archives: seating charts for weddings

Politically Friendly Weddings

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Supposedly, there are two things you don’t discuss at family gatherings; politics and religion. In truth, putting politics aside for one night might not be an option when the bride is a blue-dog-Democrat and the groom is a dyed-in-the-wool  Republican….and we are three days away from a major (presidential) election!

Given the current political climate where so many unflattering distinctions are made between left and right, red state and blue state, conservative and liberal, it is kind of fun to peek into how bipartisan couples make their celebrations come together without tearing them apart.

So how does a couple of differing political backgrounds and views put their differences aside for a night of revelry? It is a lot easier than you think.

Spotlight –Bring it out in the open. Without condescension or trivialization, openly address the situation. Have a  Election-themed affair with Donkey and Elephant favors at each table. Instead of numbering the tables, name them after your favorite politicians  of each party and mix it up. Put Republicans at the Clinton table and Democrats at the Reagan table. If you really want to have some fun,  how about large cut-outs of current and former candidates and let guests take photos with them…. just like on the street corners in Washington DC.

Seating Chart – As nice as it is to think that everyone will put their differences aside for one night, they won’t. Think about this when doing your seating chart. Unfortunately this means more work for the couple but, it will be worth it to make sure Aunt Sarah doesn’t go off on a Social Security rant to one of your dearest friends. We all have that one relative or friend who thinks their opinion matters more than everyone else… and they think they are much smarter, as well. Put them where they will cause the least damage!

Edit – Ask anyone giving toast or speeches to make sure they keep it light and fun. This is a great time to jab but, no name calling. Remember that humor goes along way… think of the White House correspondent’s dinner. If you have any doubts, ask an impartial (third party, if you will) person to take a look at what your speakers have to say.

Discuss –Talk to both of your families as a couple, at the same time if possible. Sit them down and tell them that you would like for them to behave for one evening and leave the Obama-care discussions for later. Explain  that they have a lifetime to blame Bush (or Clinton) for the current economic debacle but for tonight they need to check all snyde comments and opinions at the door.

Change –Don’t try to change everyone’s opinion to suit yours. Don’t marry someone thinking you will change their political views and don’t presume that your family will change theirs  either. Accept the differences and move on.

Topics to avoid are healthcare, immigration, and scandal, as each party is equally prone to having skeletons in their closet. For every John Edwards there is an Arnold Schwarzenegger so be careful when opening that door as it is not an easy one to close.

 There are many couples of opposite political views who make it work nicely without sacrificing their opinions. James Carville and Mary Matalin are two of the most opinionated political advisors of different parties and they have had a very successful marriage.

Now, if  politicians could only learn to play nice, we might get something done.  Maybe we should ask Mitt Romney and Barack Obama to plan an entire wedding……. without the help of their wives!

Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

Conversation Starters

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Conversation Starters are the hottest thing in weddings right now. From Pinterest to Marth Stewart, almost every wedding site is abuzz with dozens of  DIY ideas to get people talking at the reception! From sea to shining sea, here are our top five favorite Conversation Starters:

Origami Fortune Tellers – A throwback to your childhood, these simple, folded paper ‘toys’ are placed at the table with various questions and answers about the couple.

 

Quiz/ Questionnaire – A few fun, lighthearted questions about the bride and groom are guaranteed to get guests talking, reminiscing and laughing.

 

 Guest questionnaires about the bride and groom

 

 Scrapbook Guest Book –  To pull this off, designate a friend or family member to take pictures of guests with a polaroid camera  as they enter your reception and another to print the photos (yes, they still make polariod cameras). The photos are placed in a guestbook photo album so the guests can sign or wrote a sentiment next to their photo and everyone gets their own page!

 

Table Markers– For each table, find a creative use for the number. Example here 5 things you didn’t know about the bride or groom, or 6 places they would both like to visit, 7 relatives that you may not know. Each one is sprinkled with information about the couple, their family, their friends and everything in between.

 

For each person who has replied “Yes”, find an old photo of them to put on the place card. The older the picture, the better. If you met your best friend in grade school, using that picture will certainly spark some conversations!

For each of these very creative ideas, there is a lot of work involved. Folding paper, printing out questionnaires, preparing place cards or guest book pages. Doing-It-Yourself is not for the faint of heart. If you can’t tackle it alone, you can always ask for help! Perhaps you will have more fun with a bridesmaid or two, your mom(s) and a glass of wine!

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

Seating Charts Made Easy

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You are constantly being told this is your wedding and you should do things the way you want. In most cases, this is true but, when it comes to where to seat your guests, taking advice from others might be in your best interest. Use these ten simple tips to make your seating planning a breeze!

#1) Get a floor plan from the venue with the tables the way they will be arranged at your event. Make sure this floor plans hows how many seats are at each table.

#2) Don’t do anything in permanent marker, things might need to be re-arranged later. Tiny post-its or push pins is definitely the way to go.

#3) Ask both mothers or older relatives ( one from each side) to sit in on the seating plans. They will know the intricacies of some of the more difficult relationships better than you, especially if it is distant cousins or their friends.

#4) Don’t make the final seating plan until you have your final count. Moving things around too much will confuse you and you will be more likely to make mistakes.

#5) Use different color post-its for his family, your family, friends, co – workers, etc.

#6) Always start with the bridal party, then immediate family, then other family members, then relatives, then friends.

#7) Be aware of people with extremely strict political or religious beliefs whenever possible. The last thing you want is a heated debate over a touch topic.

#8) Keep a few extra seats on hand in case a guests unexpectedly shows up. this happens all the time!

#9) Try to seat all of the single people at one table. The guests who are single and choose not to bring a date will be able to mingle and meet new people.

#10) There is tons of software available for wedding seating charts – shop around and find one that works for you. But, always have a paper copy in case you lose your files.

The best tool you have when planning the seating for your wedding is common sense. That, and a sense of humor will make the whole planning process fun and easy!

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

 

Weddings and Politics

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It is often said that in order to have a pleasant time, one should avoid the topics of religion and politics. It is kind of hard to avoid the topic of religion at some weddings but, politics – that’s an easy one… unless your wedding date falls the weekend before or after the first Tuesday in November of an election year. 2012 is an election year, and a big one. There are issues at stake that affect nearly every U.S. citizen and the presidential race is already getting heated nearly 7 months before voters decide who will take the oath of office in January 2013. For couples of mixed political views, you have my sympathy and for couples who are the lone voice of dissent in a family of either political party; I feel your pain. So how, exactly,  do you get around the touchiest of topics at your wedding?

Engage a friend. Maid of Honor, Best Man, dear friend, all make a good go-between if you have that certain relative that can’t stop talking about  politics and their remarks often border on offensive. Let’s face it – we all have those folks in our midst.

Good humor. Do some research and prepare for the loud voices of un-reason. You can stop a political bully in their tracks with the right come-back  (a witty one-liner can do wonders to lighten the moment). No personal attacks or anything racist, please. Good humor means funny, light, witty and nothing insulting. The funniest jokes of all times are not at someone else’s expense.  Sometimes talking openly and laughing about your differences makes them seem small. Whereas, sweeping them under the rug makes them a lot more difficult to deal with later.

A more perfect union. If you are getting married very close to a big election, use that as your theme. One couple even designed their own campaign logo and used a red, white and blue color scheme. The “Perfect Union” theme was represented throughout the entire event, the invitations were playful, personal and gorgeous. Their solution was bringing everyone together and having fun with it. Jib Jab mastered this with their 2004 campaign video “This land is your land”. Still the funniest satire I have ever seen about any election…ever. It’s worth watching if you’re considering this option.

Seating. Let’s say you have a cousin who is a big fundraiser for the Democratic party and a beloved aunt who is a staunch Republican contributor. In addition, each one of them happens to be the type who can only talk about one ting: politics. Do your best not to seat them at the same table. You can’t tell people what to talk about at your reception but, putting two heavily invested people directly next to each other is a bad idea. They cannot help themselves because most people generally think their opinion is the only one that matters If you don’t believe me, just go on facebook and scroll through various status updates.

What makes each of us choose our political persuasion is life experience. Oddly enough, the same experience that turns one voter off will turn the next voter into a supporter. You cannot expect everyone to share your passion for an issue or a candidate, you can only accept the differences and move on. In addition, if you decide to turn your wedding into a one-sided political party event, be prepared for some no-shows or dissenting opinions.

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

A wedding party stops by GOP Presidential candidate Rick Santorum's headquarters in Charleston, South Carolina on the state's primary day, January 21.

RSVP up close and personalCampaign logo

Seating Planning Made Easy!

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There is only one problem when it comes to planning seating for your wedding reception: How do arrange people so everyone is happy? Well, let me assure you that no matter what you do – everyone will not be happy. Some people will love being at the table with people they already know and some people will want to mix, mingle and make new friends. The only thing that matters is that you and your fiance agree on the seating.

The seating is not something that everyone needs to be involved with. The wedding planner (if there is one)  and the bride and groom. If you start involving parents, siblings and attendants, this is a recipe for disaster and arguments will undoubtedly follow.

Seating Chart tips:

Reserved tables are all you need. Why put yourself through the extra work of having a reserved chair for each guest? It just gives people something else to complain about.

 Do NOT seat battling friends or relatives next to each other.

Seat tables by age group or relationship to one another.

Seating singles at the same table will allow them to mingle without the odd stares of married folk.

Last but not least, when it comes to the head table, anything goes. You can include spouses if you want. You can do the traditional raised table at the head of the room with the bride and groom in the center. You can have the bride and groom at their own table, anything you want. But, make sure it is differentiated somehow so everyone can at least see the head table.

Remember – if you choose to have children at your event, you should either have someone at the table to oversee ( babysit) them or seat them next to their parents so they can monitor them.

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

Personal Space at Your Intimate Gathering

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Summer is an especially hard time of year to get your personal space. Standing in line at the movies, water park, train, etc can all become close quarters when the temperature is 95+ degrees. When your wedding is during the summer months you need to plan a little extra to give your guests some breathing room at your event. 

Seating: Make sure there is enough room between the chairs at the reception venue so people are not seated literally on top of one another. The minimum distance between tables (not including chairs) should be 5 ft. However, if you have a guest who is 6 ft 5 inches tall, that guest will need ample leg room and even more room to push their chair out backward to stand up so you will want to expand that distance. There is actually a room calculator which makes it very easy to decide on how close or how far your guests will be seated. It is always better to err on the side of caution so, if the numbers look a little tight you should either cut down your guest list or find another location. The seating chart is also important because you may have to take into account where taller or larger guests will be seated.

Dance Floor – The rule of thumb is 3 square ft per person. Of course there are guests who don’t dance (for whatever reason). Discuss this with your on-site event personnel since they will have an idea of how big or small of an area you might need base on their experience. In this case, less is not always more.

Green Room – If you have an area where all of the bridesmaids are going to be getting hair and makeup completed prior to the wedding, make sure it is large enough to hold everyone comfortably. Remember they are going to need to get dressed in their gowns as well so there should be a minimum of one bathroom, plenty of space to hang each gown, lots of electrical outlets for curling irons and blow dryers  and a place for everyone to sit, not including sitting the bed. Sitting on the bed was a big no-no at my house.  I can hear my mother saying it, right now, “Beds are for sleeping”.

Transportation– Some limos boast that they can hold “up to 22 people’. Don’t crowd 22 people into a limo on a hot summer day even if it is a stretch limo that can technically hold 22 people. If you want the bridal party to ride together  you do have a couple of choices. One idea is to have all of the male attendants ride in one vehicle and the females in another. Another suggestion is to use a party bus (aka ‘Land Yacht’)  or one of the larger SUV vehicles that is easier to get in and out of. No one should have to crawl over top of another guest in this kind of heat.

Having an intimate affair for less people does not mean you can skimp on the personal space. Intimate refers to the closeness of your relationship,  not the size of the guest list. Think of it like this: your guests should all feel like they are seated in First Class.

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago