Bridal Expo

It hasn’t been that long ago that when a woman found herself in a ‘family way’, the wedding date was moved up and the due date was a mystery. By ‘not that long ago’, I mean in my lifetime. Thankfully that practice is nearly outdated, for about a dozen really good reasons… mostly because nobody cares if you are pregnant or not. Now, the problem is not that you have to get married, but if you want to get married… then should you do it before or after the baby is born?

There are some advantages to getting married while you are pregnant; namely your hair and skin will probably be more radiant than ever and you will most likely have what is commonly referred to as a ‘glow’. It will show up in the pictures and you will love looking at photos of yourself all pregnant and beautiful!   I was 6 months pregnant when my husband and I exchanged vows. That’s just how it worked out for us. There was  no shotgun, no lying about the due date and no surprises. We were adults and did what we wanted. If I had waited, I may not have ever wanted to do a wedding of any sort because once the baby was born, I was too busy with my glorious son to worry about place cards and table settings and floral arrangements. You may feel the same way!

For others, waiting until the baby is born to have a wedding is the right choice for several reasons; You can fit into a more traditional wedding gown after some or all of the baby weight comes off, you can plan your dream wedding and not worry about morning sickness, swollen feet or being exhausted during the process, you don’t have to worry about hormones and mood swings during this stressful time when you are already stressed out about being pregnant in the first place!!!

Either way, before or after, the choice is up to you. No need to fudge on dates or make excuses because, when it comes to love and marriage - the truth shall set you free!!

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

In the back of your mind you know he is going to propose any day. Maybe he is waiting for a special event, maybe he is waiting for a certain holiday or maybe he is still picking out the ring. You have merged your lives already and perhaps bought a home or moved in together. It is all happening, and it’s all good. Then, unexpectedly you get the news that you are not only going to be husband and wife, you will also be ‘Mom & Dad”. SURPRISE! Now, what?  Basically you have two choices, get married ASAP or wait until after the baby is born to tie the knot. Either option has a multitude of pros and cons.

Option #1) Get married right away -

Pro – You can have a smaller, more intimate gathering with just your closest friends and family. This way you don’t have to worry about who to invite and who to cut from the list,  the list is your nearest and dearest only.

Con- Most couples begin planning their wedding well in advance and can still experience difficulty getting vendors and booking a reception venue. Booking even a small venue at short notice can be tricky. Be willing to compromise and consider a Sunday or Friday event.

Pro- You can find a beautiful gown now that designers have recognized that a lot more women are getting married while they are expecting and not hiding it from anyone.

Con - You may not be feeling your best and trying on clothes is the last thing you want to do. (This goes away in the 4th month and euphoria kicks in)

Pro – If you plan quickly, you can get married before most people even know you are pregnant and avoid answering a lot of pesky questions. 

Con-  Who cares what other people think? This is your life, not theirs! 

Option #2)  Wait until after the baby is born.

Pro – Your child can be a part of the ceremony and weddings are about family, after all.

Con – Children can be unpredictable, even tiny ones.

Pro - You will have plenty of time to plan your dream wedding and spare no expense.

Con – Babies are expensive and your priorities change after giving birth , you may not want to spend a lot of money on a wedding.

Pro -You can wear that strapless mermaid dress after you’ve lost the baby weight.

Con – You can’t predict how your body will change and how you will feel about those changes, especially if you are breastfeeding.

For some women, getting pregnant before they are married is a source of shame and embarrassment, even in 2012. For some, it is a statement of fact and nothing to hide. Speaking from experience, I had no reservations about being 6 months pregnant at our (casual) wedding, I have no shame that one of the great loves of my life was born 3 months after his father and I tied the knot, I don’t think my son cares or even wonders if this is normal or not. This is our family – there is no normal. How you handle the news is a personal decision and one that should not be made without a great deal of thought and consideration but, don’t wait too long or you won’t have a choice. If you are pregnant with twins, may the force be with you – you will need it!

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

Not so long ago when an engaged woman found herself  pregnant, she had two options; move up the wedding date or push it back.  Lately, brides have decided that being pregnant is not such a big deal, you don’t have to rush to the altar and lie about the due date any more – just forge ahead, find a flattering gown and smile ( knowing that you are carrying a much more precious package behind the bouquet than anyone could ever imagine). The number of brides-to-be who are walking down the aisle with a bun in the oven has increased 6.2% in the past year alone and there is good reason: For women who are getting married older, the fear of not being able to conceive (tick tock) can send them into a frenzy so generally they stop using any form of birth control the minute the wedding planning process begins. The invitations are selected, the venue is booked and presto! The stick turns blue.

So how do you plan a wedding when you are pregnant? In addition to modifying the style of your wedding gown, there are a few other things to remember when you are an expectant bride:

Shoes – your feet may not swell until the final month, then again there is a chance they may start changing right away. Find a comfortable shoe with a heel height you can manage. An extra pair of equally comfortable shoes is advisable.

Gown - Find a gown that has a forgiving style.  Empire waist gowns can camouflage a pregnancy, a strapless mermaid gown … not so much! You don’t have to sacrifice your own personal style, if you want something non-traditional – it’s out there. Designers began including maternity options in their collections many years ago since trying to hide a pregnancy with a too tight dress is a mistake. Remember that you MUST talk to your bridal consultant at the time of purchase regarding your condition so he or she can help you select a style that has room for growth.

Rest – Wedding planning is stressful and being pregnant is an emotional time. You may find yourself on an emotional (hormone-induced) roller-coaster at times. Rest whenever you can and don’t sweat the small stuff.

Smile – Trying to hide a pregnancy until after the wedding is ridiculous and archaic. It is really your business to tell everyone in the way you see fit. Being pregnant can be the happiest time of your life and if anyone starts to ask too many questions  just smile and walk away. Babes are a cause for celebration, not shame. Tell people as much as you want them to know but don’t be surprised if some people make unflattering comments since we all know not everyone has enough good sense to keep their opinions to themselves.

Support – This is time when you will need your most trusted and wise family and friends to support you. Ask them for their help, include them in the process as much or as little as you like. There will be one day when everything seems to go wrong and you will need someone to lift your spirits. Make sure you reach out to your nearest and dearest and don’t try to keep it all inside; it is not healthy for you or the baby!