Tag Archives: wedding guest book

Giving Away The Bride – Who’s In, Who’s Out?

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It is a well known fact that it is the responsibility (and honor) of the bride’s father to walk the bride down the aisle, presenting her at the altar to her future husband, and then later sharing a dance.   In some cases, both parents walk the bride down the aisle and in other cases she walks alone and rare cases where two grown men come together and share this responsibility equally, and of course cases where the mother walks the bride solo. In 2012 you have all sorts of combinations and none of them is right or wrong.  This is one of those ever-changing customs that seems to get more complicated every day. 

To offer a little help if you are trying to decide who should do the honor, ask yourself the following questions:

Who is paying for the wedding? If your stepfather is paying for the wedding 100%, he should be given the place of honor at your side, right? Maybe.  That is unless, of course, he had absolutely no hand in raising you, barely knows you, recently married your mother and you never lived under the same roof with you, he is not exactly a parental figure – yet.

Who raised you? If your father raised you, cared for you, packed your school lunches and drove carpool to dance class, he should be given the place of honor at your side even if he doesn’t have one dime to contribute toward your dream wedding, right? Maybe.  Blood is thicker than water and family is more important than money. However, your stepfather ( and mother)  may have some trouble swallowing the idea of paying for everything and receiving no end credit.

Is there even a father  figure in your life? If your father is deceased or absent from your life and your mother raised you single-handedly, she has every right to be at your side… just the two of you. If she declines (and she might) , ask a favorite uncle or a brother.  

Does everyone get along? If so, have this conversation in a group and include his family as well. Keeping the lines of communication open will make planning much easier. For instance; your parents are divorced and both remarried. If everyone gets along swimmingly and you want to have an honest discussion about who is paying for what and who has what role in the wedding this – do it. It will save tons of time and drama later. Even if you are all on great terms this might be a touchy subject and hurt feelings could turn into a huge family debacle if left unchecked. Always be respectful of the role your parents have played in your life up to this point – it is not all about the wedding. The point is to be inclusive and not exclusive.

Can anyone even be in the same room?If you have the unfortunate circumstance of having suffered through a bitter divorce, subsequent re-marriages of your parents to other people and extremely hostile family relations – buckle up…this is going to be a bumpy ride! Hold on tight to your fiance’s hand and get through this however you can. My advice is to  delegate the dad responsibilities with whomever you feel is the most deserving and responsible and be prepared for the repercussions.  Of course this is more complicated than a simple decision but go back to questions #1 and#2 and decide who played the most important role in your life. Do not let anyone hold you hostage by threatening to boycott the nuptials if they don’t get their way, this is your decision (as a couple) and there is no going back once the decision is made.

It is important to make this decision early since the wording on the invitation can be complicated with fractured and blended families. If  parents and stepparents are all assisting financially with the wedding, their names should be on the invitation.  This is can be tricky so ask your invitation specialist to help you with the wording before you make a costly mistake.

For the Father/Daughter dance you can dance with both dads during the course of the song, changing partners after an allotted time, you can dance with one father ‘figure’ or you can omit this routine entirely. No one says it has to be a part of your wedding. Discuss this with your DJ.

The absolute worst thing that can happen at your wedding is to let any of these small situations get out of control. Unless you are one of the rare families that get along famously and never argue, you will have some sort of struggle on your hands. Close your eyes, envision the outcome you desire and  when you open your eyes take whatever steps necessary to make that happen without hurting anyone’s feelings or stepping on anyone’s toes. That means at no point in the conversation are you allowed to say “It’s my day”  since that expression is a tad over-used and completely self-induglent. You have to be respectful and make your point without becoming  a martyr or spoiled brat.

Remember that if you have the luxury of having parents or multiple parents, count your blessings, even if they don’t love each other as much as you would like, they most certainly love you and will most likely do whatver it takes to ensure your wedding is a joyous occasion.

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

Unique Guest Book Ideas

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If you find the idea of a traditional guest book slightly boring, there are plenty of fun, new ideas that keep the spirit of the guest book alive but, add a new twist and a little excitement! These fresh ideas allow you to express your creativity and still have the the sentiments of your loved ones to look back on many years from now.

1) Retro – A vintage typewriter will remind your guests of the ‘old days’, and will probably spark a few conversations and definitely a few chuckles. Remember when we used to do our homework on typewriters……with correction tape? Armed with a few sheets of long, white paper, your guests will pluck out a few sentiments and have fun doing it! The best part – you won’t have to break the bank to find an old typewriter at a flea market, garage sale or thrift shop!

2) File This – Talk about organized…. your guests can sign their well wishes in this  file card guest book set and then place their name in the appropriate slot – in alphabetical order! For those of us with OCD – an adorable dream come true. Inexpensive to purchase but, definitely something an avid crafter could DIY!

3) Calendar – Seriously, what could be better than  a sweet note written on a calendar to remind you of your friend’s  birthday?  Another great DIY project, any calendar can be converted into a guest book or you can buy one pre-made especially for your big day.

4) Postcards – Pre-printed with the couples address and adequately stamped, have the guests sign fun postcards and slip them in the mailbox. The best man or maid of honor will drop them in the mail the next day and when you return from your honeymoon, your mailbox will be brimming with well wishes…. which you can file or scrapbook as keepsakes.

However you decide to go, the importance of the guest book should not be overlooked. It is a reminder of your loved ones and how they felt about you on this day. Making it simple for them to sign is the key since you really want your guests to spend the evening with you and not looking for hidden notes or filling out lengthy forms or folding envelops or origami birds. Although some of the more complicated ideas seem like fun, they will get stale (for your guests) really quickly.

Whats’ your favorite guest book idea?

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

Wedding Time Capsules – How To

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Time capsules have been around for a long time and have consistently offered a fun and mysterious way to capture memories and remember major milestones. As a result, it seems only natural that couples are putting together wedding time capsules in order to succinctly remember specific moments from their wedding day. If you are planning to ‘bury’ a time capsule to commemorate your wedding, here are a few tips to get you started:

1) You don’t need a kit. Although a kit may simplify things, it is not necessary.

2) A picture is worth a thousand words. Make sure you enclose pictures from the wedding, whether it is a photobooth strip, polaroid or another form of instant snapshot. Don’t wait for the formal photos, the point of a time capsule is for it to be sealed on that specific day. Keep the pictures in airtight plastic storage bags. Be prepared, the images of  loved ones (especially those who are no longer with you) on your happy day may bring some emotional memories rushing back and you may have to take a moment to compose yourself upon opening.

3) It doesn’t have to be buried. Digging a hole in the yard may sound like a good idea but, only if you know exactly where you put it, don’t disturb it during a backyard renovation or plan to move from your current residence. It can be kept in an airtight container on the mantle, in the back of the closet or in a safety deposit box if you desire.  If you do bury it, make sure you have the location documented accurately and remove it if you move to another home.

4) Include personal notes from each other and close family/friends. You can also have a ‘Time Capsule’ station at your wedding, a place where family and friends can write notes or answer a few pre-determined questions about your future. The smaller, the better – no one is going to feel like filling out a 2 page survey during the reception. Pick one or two questions like “Where do you think the couple will live in ten years?”  or “How many children do you think they will have?”

5) Paper goods . Enclose a copy of all printed material; Save the Date, Wedding Invitation, Menu Cards, Place cards for the Bride and Groom, Engagement or Wedding announcements, and a copy of the current newspaper in the city where you live for that day.

6) Decide on a date to open. If you plan to have children, you might want to make it at a date late enough for them to help you, maybe 15 or 20 years.

7) Pick a secure container. The actual container does not have to be made of any particular material but, you might want to stay away from glass jars. Metal shipping tubes, vintage leather suitcases or a wooden boxes all make great time capsules. Keep in mind where it will be stored and for how long.

The only thing more fun than putting together a times capsule is opening one. If you plan to have a time capsule to commemorate your wedding, a little planning goes a long way and you will be surprised at how much fun you will  have, especially if you do it together!

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

Daddy’s Little Girl – All Grown Up

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If you are blessed to have a father, stepfather (or both) on your wedding day, you are one lucky woman. Losing my father at an early age taught me two things: life is short and a good dad is hard to find. Remember, on your wedding day you will be marking the passage from being one man’s daughter to another man’s wife. It is a bittersweet occasion for him and a good time to remind him of how much he means to you.  It is also a good time to remind him of his role in the wedding, that he has a very special place and purpose for being there, other than to pay for everything, if that is even your dynamic.

Walk Down The Aisle– If your father will be walking you down the aisle, this will be a very emotional moment for him. As you let go of his hand, remind him of how much it means to you with a kiss on the cheek, a nod, a whisper. Don’t be in a hurry to move forward, he might need a moment to digest this.

Father /Daughter Dance – This is when, traditionally, the father cuts in to the first dance of the newlyweds and dances with his daughter for the first time as a married woman as the music transitions into ‘their song’. Or you can have a completely different dance  just for the two of you. “Daddy’s Little Girl” is a bit outdated and kind of (whats the word?) … creepy. Find a song that means something to the two of you, and no one else.

Speech – The father of the bride gives the first speech at the reception. Whether it is lighthearted, serious, or sentimental, it should be whatever suits his personality and your relationship together. He might need help with this as some men are not as eloquent or profound as others. Spend some alone time with him leading up to the wedding, giving him an opportunity to reminisce and ponder………

Gift – Finding the right gift for your dad can mean a lot. I know from experience that men who do not express emotions easily are touched by small gestures. A framed photo of the two of you when you were a little girl, a pair of cuff-links, an embroidered handkerchief. Stay away from t-shirts or mugs with photos of shotguns. It’s only funny because it’s tacky.

Don’t be surprised if , many years down the road, you wind up thinking that your husband is a lot like your dad, it happens all the time. When it is all said and done, he was the first man you loved, the one who taught you to sit up straight and respect yourself and set the standard for what to look for in a husband in the first place. For that, he deserves special recognition.

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

Conversation Starters

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Conversation Starters are the hottest thing in weddings right now. From Pinterest to Marth Stewart, almost every wedding site is abuzz with dozens of  DIY ideas to get people talking at the reception! From sea to shining sea, here are our top five favorite Conversation Starters:

Origami Fortune Tellers – A throwback to your childhood, these simple, folded paper ‘toys’ are placed at the table with various questions and answers about the couple.

 

Quiz/ Questionnaire – A few fun, lighthearted questions about the bride and groom are guaranteed to get guests talking, reminiscing and laughing.

 

 Guest questionnaires about the bride and groom

 

 Scrapbook Guest Book –  To pull this off, designate a friend or family member to take pictures of guests with a polaroid camera  as they enter your reception and another to print the photos (yes, they still make polariod cameras). The photos are placed in a guestbook photo album so the guests can sign or wrote a sentiment next to their photo and everyone gets their own page!

 

Table Markers– For each table, find a creative use for the number. Example here 5 things you didn’t know about the bride or groom, or 6 places they would both like to visit, 7 relatives that you may not know. Each one is sprinkled with information about the couple, their family, their friends and everything in between.

 

For each person who has replied “Yes”, find an old photo of them to put on the place card. The older the picture, the better. If you met your best friend in grade school, using that picture will certainly spark some conversations!

For each of these very creative ideas, there is a lot of work involved. Folding paper, printing out questionnaires, preparing place cards or guest book pages. Doing-It-Yourself is not for the faint of heart. If you can’t tackle it alone, you can always ask for help! Perhaps you will have more fun with a bridesmaid or two, your mom(s) and a glass of wine!

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

Purses, pens and pillows – Don’t sweat the small stuff

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When your wedding day draws near, there will be about a dozen little things to do that seem insignificant but, can actually make a big difference in the overall day. Its detail time, folks and if you want to to be creative, it’s time to put on your thinking cap and think outside the box!

Bridal Purses used  to be as simple as little satin drawstring  satchels made but now brides are opting for sparkling, jewel encrusted clutches. Invest a little more money and you will have a glittery reminder of your wedding day that you can carry to every black tie function for years to come. No need to carry a ton of stuff in your purse, just  a few makeup essentials for touch ups as the evening wears on. you will not want to carry it down the aisle so have someone like the maid of honor or your mother hold onto the purse during the ceremony or reception.

Guest Books are still very popular but some couples are mixing it up by  having guests sign the over-sized mat on their engagement photo. The photo is then framed and unlike the traditional guest book can hang prominently in their home for years to come, remembering the well wishes they received and reminding them of your friendship. 

Don’t forget the pen! Whether you like l ostrich feather plume pens or sleek sterling stylographs, you can find one that resembles your wedding decor. There are hundreds of styles and colors, just make sure the pen writes easily and is not bulky or hard to use. Beware of fountain pens since most people aren’t used to writing with them any more, they can leak and be very tricky to maneuver.

Ring Bearer Pillow –If you have children in your wedding and you have opted for a ring bearer, you will want to find a pillow that is fool-proof. The image of a young boy in an Eton Suit comes to mind with the rings balanced squarely in the center. In case your ring bearer is not able to perform this task with perfect balance, or gets easily distracted, I would suggest having a ring pillow with ribbons attached so that you can tie the rings  in order to hold them in place. Tie the ribbons securely but so they are easily untied. Easy enough, right?  The traditional ring pillow is white or ivory – the same color as the dress. It can be adorned with lace or whatever fabrics you desire. New versions of the ring  pillow include the colors of the wedding. To me they just look like sofa pillows. Sometimes it is best to stick with tradition.

Pillow alternatives have been popping up all over the place. How about a  satin or silver box with the rings in it for safekeeping? There are also very wedding  bowls with a loop to tie the rings in place, usually etched with the couple’s name and wedding date. Hollowed out books, satin halters for dogs to carry the rings, mini-suitcases and just about everything else under the sun. If the pillow bothers you , there are alternatives. The pillow seems adorable enough to me.

Card Holder – Lets face it, in lieu of gifts it is perfectly acceptable in many cultures to give an ‘envelope’ as a wedding gift. In some cultures it is merely expected. In previous years, the only thing available was a large white satin box with an opening large enough to slip a card into…. even one that was stuffed with cash. Now, there are more options than there are colors in the rainbow!  Custom white wire boxes, wedding suitcases, wedding birdcages, boxes that are shaped to look like a wedding cake and the list goes on. Most of the boxes are fabric covered and some are adorned with ribbons either in white or colors matching the wedding.

Whether you are having twenty or two hundred guests, these little things can make a huge difference in the impact of your day. They can also  add up quickly so make sure you have room in your budget to get creative at the last minute. 

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

Green Weddings – the big picture

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It is almost Earth day and I can think of no better time  to discuss the impact of waste. All of the plastic bottles, plastic ribbons, containers of all shapes and sizes that come with the packaging of an event! Yes, in all fairness they are mostly recycled but for every plastic option you are presented, there is probably a sustainable alternative.
Consider this:

Consumable gifts- Party favors that your guests can take home don’t have to be tchotchkes. You know, those things you take home and put on a shelf and then dust once a week. Be creative! Dress up some fancy chocolates or soy candles with organic tissue paper and a raffia bow. Tiny trees in a glass tube are great mementos, think about everyone at your reception planting a tree that you gave them…. they are really affordable, too.

Guest Book options are out there in droves. If you hate the idea of purchasing something that will be put away in a box (possibly forever), how about a large framed photo of the couple with an even larger mat where all of the guests could sign it. It will be framed and hang on your wall for eternity. Another great idea is a video guest book completely edited onto a dvd which you can pop in the player from time to time and have a look at how young everyone was ‘way back when’. There are tons of options available.

Candlelight is romantic and flattering. Candles can also be very bad for the air you breathe considering many candles are scented with chemicals and perfumes. Flameless candles are battery powered and look exactly like the real thing. If you must go with real candles use only soy , beeswax or vegetable based ones.

No plastic or paper. If you feel strongly about this, have a discussion with the catering manager at your venue. Although cloth napkins will be at the dinner tables, paper napkins will probably be at the bar. Ask them to omit these and be prepared to offer another alternative.

No balloons. Latex is plastic.  If you must  have balloons ask for Qualatex or Betallic brands.  Both are 100% biodegradable and have a half life of about 3 weeks (not very long) both are made with natural latex instead of plastic.  Mylar balloons can be re-used several times if they are handled properly. Check with your balloon resource.

Rice is fine. Birds do not die from eating rice. If you want rice thrown at your wedding, have at it. Make sure the pouches are reusable or biodegradable.

Bird Seed is better. Of course the birds will love you. Will the church? Will the best man get to the reception without a stain on his jacket?

Grass seed is best. Find out what kind of grass is at your site and buy a few bags of it. The birds will eat some of it, sure. But, a great deal of it will wind up on the grass and eventually produce more oxygen.

Sunday is Earth Day –  Take the bus or walk to work if you can and turn off the lights for an hour – it will make  great cuddle time!

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago