Tag Archives: bridezilla

Beware of Brides on a Crash Diet

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Crash dieting can cause an array of negative physical side effects, such as lethargy, extreme hunger, body aches, decreased bone density, a dampened immune system and reduced metabolism, which often leads to re-gaining weight later.  More importantly, it can cause you to be irritable, overly stressed, depressed  and have impaired decision making skills and places a lot of stress on your heart.  None of this sounds like the person you want to be – especially during the wedding planning process, does it?

I never understood why all of the major diet and exercise plans tell you to consult a physician before starting any weight loss plan. Then, I turned 50. Now it makes perfect sense. Your doctor can tell you if the weight loss plan you have selected is safe and that potentially dangerous medications are not being used with weight loss. Also patients with certain medical illnesses such as kidney disease may need to avoid certain diet plans such as diets that recommend high protein intake.  Patients with high blood pressure or heart disease should avoid diets high in salt. I know that sounds confusing but, all you need to know is  that it is important to talk to your doctor. He or she will provide much needed support.

Fad diets, extreme workouts, severe dietary restrictions are all ways that we torture ourselves when we want to lose a quick 20 lbs and although it may work short -term, the long term effects are brutal.  Few people can keep up this pace for their entire life and once the workouts and  food deprivation end, the weight comes back on… with a vengeance. Your best bet is to make small changes in your life, diet and exercise. Making small changes, one at a time, gives your body and mind time to adjust to each change and tend to lead to a more successful life plan. According to a study by the USDA, young adults who perpetually diet are 300% more likely to be obese later in life.

Starting out slow with a diet and exercies plan may not yield the quickest reults but it will be the most beneficial in the long run. If all else fails and you have no willpower for a diet and  no time or money for a personal trainer, try these few things and you may be surprised at the outcome:

– Drink as much water as possible.  

-Walk whenever  you can. Walk to work, to the store, anywhere.

-Eat several times a day. Sound hard? Not really. Just cut your meal in half. Eat 1/2 now and eat the other 1/2 in two hours, do this for every  meal. Your stomach is about the size of your fist – eating more than that is unneccessary.

-Eat breakfast every day, even just a  good cereal and a banana will help.

Most importantly, DO NOT deprive yourself f the things you love. It leads to rebound eating and subsequent weight gain. Just eat smaller portions.

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

What is Great Customer Service?

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Ask any bride or groom the most important part of selecting their wedding professionals and they whole-heartedly agree: Customer Service! The best product or service is only as good as the people who handle it from start to finish and the worst single thing that a business can do is to drop the ball when it comes to this (most) critical element.

So, without being vague, what makes a company’s customer service great? Attention to detail, follow-up, communication and the willingness to settle for nothing less than perfect.

I remember a  bride from many years ago who inspected her gown upon arrival and there was a giant fabric flaw directly in the front of the skirt. There it was, right in the middle, completely visible without a magnifying glass- a huge slub of silk!  She immediately asked the store manager to get another gown and was told this was not possible. She was then offered a discount of 20%. This did not sit well and she left the store in tears. Later that day she came in and spoke to me, I was working in the alterations department and she asked what I could do. I suggested that with the owner’s permission we could replace the front of the dress with an entirely new skirt panel of the same exact fabric. It would take several seamstresses many hours to complete this task and it was going to cost the store hundreds of dollars in materials and labor but, the owner decided it was worth it.   Melinda picked up her gown the day of her wedding and it was perfect, we completed the task to her satisfaction and were able to recoup some of the loss from the manufacturer due to their lack of quality control. She was thrilled, she referred us to dozens of her friends and the story had a beautiful ending. I think of Melinda often because of her calm resolve and her unwillingness to compromise quality for a 20% discount. Her words haunt me, “I am not unhappy about the price of the gown, I am unhappy about the quality. I have paid a fair price and I would like the product I ordered.”  The fault fabric was not of her doing so, why should she have to suffer? As wedding gown professionals it was our job to deliver that product, and as experts in customer service…. we did.

Remember:

-If the customer has needs you cannot fulfill, refer them to another professional. It is better to say no to a job too big than to make a promise you can’t deliver.

-Remind the customer that they do get what they pay for. Your company may not be the cheapest but, you’re worth it.

-If they have selected you from dozens of bakers, florists or DJ’s to handle their event, they deserve to be spoken to as soon as possible. Even if it is a call to tell them you are very busy and wont be able to handle a consultation at a later date, you need to manage your time well enough to handle every customer as if they were the last, or they might very well be just that.

Great customer service is putting your customer’s needs first,  identifying any problems, addressing them immediately and being accessible.  Great customer service is not just making promises but, keeping them.

 

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

You Might Be a Bridezilla if…….

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The first known citation of the term  “Bridezilla” was in the Boston Globe in 1995 followed by a series of cartoons in Modern Bride magazine in 1999. But, it was the television series which aired in July 2004  that made the term ‘Bridezilla’ part of our modern vocabulary. 

Bridezilla is a portmanteau of two words: Bride and Godzilla. This type of morphing or blending words has become quite popular in modern culture, so much so that this one word evokes an images of an out of control, crazed, wedding obsessed woman who knows no limits.  Although rare, they are out there. Of course reality TV (aka staged, scripted versions of real life)  has tweaked the situation to make it worse but,  never underestimate the power of an engaged woman who wants to get her way. So, how do you spot these rare creatures and how do you know when your level-headed, intelligent, caring best friend has succumbed to ‘Acquired Situational Narcissism’?

 If you asked your attendant to change their hairstyle, remove a tattoo or lose weight to be in your wedding – you might be a bridezilla.

If you asked someone else to do the gift registry on your behalf because you are too busy – you might be a bridezilla.

If you have asked anyone  to address and fill in their own Thank You note – you might be a bridezilla.

If you have asked any male member of the bridal party to shave their beard, moustache or alter their appearance in any way – you might be a bridezilla.

If you are planning a wedding that is out of budget, insisting that other’s pick up the tab for things you want but cannot afford – you might be a bridezilla.

If you have had several confrontations with wedding retailers – you might be a bridezilla.

If you have told anyone what they can wear, how they can act, how much they can drink or to whom they may speak at your wedding or reception – you might be a bridezilla.

If you asked any of your attendants to gain weight so you are the thinnest person standing at the altar,  check into counseling immediately.

It appears that sometimes a wonderful, sweet, intelligent woman can turn into bridezilla for apparently no reason. The truth is that there is a reason, perhaps it is stress, family issues, work trouble and if you add all that into planning a wedding, almost anyone can let loose with a little odd behavior.

So what exactly are you supposed to do when this happpens to a friend of yours?

Smile and Nod – Remember that this person will return to normal shortly.

Offer help – She may be in over her head.

Distract – Maybe she needs a day off from wedding planning. Go for a nature hike, game of tennis, bike ride or find an amusement park. If she can unwind for one day – you will reap the benefits and you may be able to get through to her on a different level.

Intervene – Everyone who has been bearing the brunt of this behavior should come together and confront the bride with her outrageous demands. United you stand, divided you fall.

Exit – If the demands go too far and the bride will not retreat or give any concessions, you might have to remove yourself from the entire situation. This may be the only option if the bride’s demands have gone so far over the top that you have lost sight of the person you once knew. Warning: Once you go here, there is no turning back.

In reality, a very small percentage of women actually turn into the dreaded “Bridezilla”. To avoid becoming one yourself, remember what the day is really about: Your friends and family gathering together to share in your happiness. Don’t sweat the small stuff – the wedding  lasts only one day while the marriage should last forever.

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

Let the Alterations begin!

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It is that time of year when the flowers are in full bloom, pollen counts are high and brides everywhere are awaiting the arrival of their gown to begin the alterations process! I know you have all heard horror stories about half-done alterations and demanding brides. Those stories truly are the exception rather than the rule. I have personally lived through hundreds of bridal alterations and I can tell you there is one thing that will carry you through the entire process without fail,  “Always Be Prepared”. Once again the Boy Scout motto will help to guide you through a sometimes prickly process. If that seems too vague, I have some tips for stress-free alterations.

Better safe than sorry. Make sure the salon and fitting rooms are clean and that you or no one else brings food or drink of any kind to any fittings. Not even bottled water. Nothing. Ever.

Try on the gown as soon as it comes in. Call the salon, speak to your bridal consultant and make an appointment to try on the gown. You will want to make sure your consultant or an alterations expert is available to help you at least get in and out of the gown. It is critical that you have some assistance because this is the time you will be deciding on what type of undergarments to buy. Will you need a petticoat? If so, what kind? Yes, there are several types. Will you need a strapless bra, merry widow, or cups? Do they have these available or do they have recommendations where you should buy?  If the gown is tight, this is the time to decide if you are able to lose weight or if you are looking at making the dress bigger. Bring a scarf or makeup hood so you do not get foundation, lipstick or anything else on the gown. Use this every time you try on the gown. At this time the seamstress will not do any pinning but you should have a good idea of what kind of alterations lie ahead. If you have selected a headpiece or veil, try it on with the gown. If you have not – now would be a good time to do that.

Be prepared for your first fitting. Bring your shoes, undergarments and arrive on time. Schedule at least an hour  for this fitting. During the busy alteration season it may take even longer. Don’t be in a hurry and don’t rush the seamstress. It is always best to call ahead and it is also wise to schedule all fittings during a time of day when you are less stressed, not after a big meal, and not a time of the day, week or month when you are bloated (wink, wink)  if at all possible. If you can – bring a trusted friend, maid of honor or family member with you. If you are not comfortable with your seamstress at any point in time, talk to your consultant and request another seamstress.

No distractions. DO NOT schedule bridesmaids fittings at the same time as your bridal fitting. This to much to worry about at one time. You and the seamstress will need to focus on the bridal gown right now and not the needs of others. You also don’t need several varying opinions on what, when, how and why.

 Ask questions. Before you are pinned into the gown, ask about the pricing for alterations. Bridal seamstresses spend years learning their craft, they spend hours working on a single gown and are skilled professionals and therefore deserve to be paid fairly.  If you fear you cannot afford the alterations, don’t ask the seamstress to pin you. In all fairness, a good pinning is complicated and you might be charged for it or the seamstress will remove the pins if you choose to alter elsewhere.

Second fitting. At your second fitting you might be trying on the gown in the middle of the alterations. It may not be sewn shut, it may still have some pins or it may be completely finished. Speak now or forever hold your peace about any concerns you may have. The hem might have to wait until the next fitting, depending on the gown… since not all gowns are created equal.

Final fitting(s). When you arrive for the last  or even second to the last fitting, the gown should fit well and be near completion. If the hem has not been finished, this is the time to finalize that as well. Generally this is when you will also finalize any details of your headpiece, jewelry, etc.   Someone should be with you to learn how to handle the gown, especially if there is a bustle involved.

Pick up/try on. When you schedule the time to pick up your gown, you might want to try it on one last time to inspect it and make sure there are not problems. You may not need to try it on, you decide.  Either way, an appointment is required so the gown can be steamed, stuffed, bagged and ready to travel home with you. This kind of preparation  requires time and planning on the part of the salon. You will probably be escorted into a room where you can either try on or inspect the gown in private. This is your last chance to make sure everything is the way you expected. It is important to note that you should not double-park for this. This might take longer than a couple of minutes and you don’t want to be hurried…. or worried. Take your time, do this right and you will have one less stress headache. If there is a balance due, some salons do not take a check at the time of pick up.

Alterations can be the most pleasant experience of your entire wedding  process and it can also be a nightmare (from all angles) if not handled properly. Always, always, always ask for references, check with the better business bureau and communicate with your seamstress.

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

Maid of Honor and Best Man – drama queens (and kings) need not apply.

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The dust has settled from the Royal Nuptials of Prince William and Princess Catherine and I am left with one lasting impression: they had the absolute best man and woman at their sides to ensure the day went off without error.  This is important. It may seem more important for an internationally televised event than a casual affair but, every wedding is important and your day could be ruined by even the slightest amount of drama. The lesson for the day is to make sure your maid of honor and best man have got your back!

I’ve given tips to being  the perfect attendant…unfortunately not all bridesmaids and groomsmen  got the memo.  In order to avoid embarrassing mistakes do yourself a favor and go through this checklist (asking yourself who is best suited for this job) before you make your final decision.

Maid of honor responsibilities before the wedding:

Coordinate the bridesmaids. 

Host a  Wedding Shower with the other bridesmaid’s help 

Host, plan and arrange a bachelorette party also with the help of the bridesmaids.

Accompany you when you are gown shopping

Maid of Honor responsibilities during the ceremony and reception:

Assist the bride in getting dressed

Hold the groom’s ring

Arrange bridal gown train at appropriate moments.

Hold  flowers during part of the ceremony

Sign the marriage license, if needed.

Arrange the receiving line

Toast the bride and groom

Be available during the reception to assist  in the bathroom.
Best Man responsibilities:

Organize grooomsmen

Help choose tuxes

Plan and host bachelor party

Organize a group gift from the groomsmen

Assist groom on the wedding day ( also known as running interference)

Hold the bride’s ring

Toast at the reception.

In truth, these don’t sound like terribly daunting tasks. Add some work pressure, a few kids, possibly financial stress and you have the potential for disaster.  So even though closest family is usually delegated to the titles of maid of honor and best man, if you have siblings who are unreliable and come with a lot of baggage, you may want to re-consider bestowing the title on them. This may sound extreme and perhaps selfish but in some cases there is so much baggage that even Delta couldn’t handle them. Maybe you don’t have siblings and you have to choose among two friends. Have a frank conversation with that preson before you tell anyone else. You can be very nice about this and phrase it so that it is not hurtful. Explain that you don’t think they need the added pressure. They will understand. In fact, they may not realize it immediately but you will be doing them a favor. The worst thing you can do is hide behind your feelings. “I’ve decided that I am asking  Sarah to be my maid of honor because you have a lot going on right now and I want you to be able to enjoy the day”  See how easy that was? It may be a conversation you want to have in private or with your fiance in tow but, if it must happen, do it sooner rather than later.

Another option would be to split the honors of  the best man or maid of honor between two close confidants. For instance, “Holly will be hosting the bridal shower and Patricia will be hosting the bachelorette party.” Make sure you have the divisions set up equally or this will cause bickering. I don’t really advise this except in rare cases. It will probably cause more work and stress for you.

Lastly I would like to urge each bride and groom to consider which is more important; hurt feelings for a few days (maybe minutes) with your closest friend or a possible fiasco at your wedding… on video… for eternity. Something to think about, definitely.

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

Bridesmaids Beware: Tips to being a perfect attendant

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We’ve all heard the horror stories and seen countless clips of brides going berserk on TV. Bridezillas (as they have become known) are a ruthless, tireless breed and will not take (hell) no for an answer.  What you don’t see or hear as often are stories of bridesmaids and attendants who don’t live up to their end of the bargain. They hold up orders, complain about dresses, shoes, and generally complicate things. Whats the key to being a  perfect attendant? I’m glad you asked!

Play or go home. If you have agreed to be a part of a wedding, understand it is going to cost you money. Unless the bride has graciously offered to pay for everything on your behalf you will be paying for at least a gown, alterations, shoes, jewelry, makeup, hair, bachelorette festivities, shower and shower gift, and wedding gift. Don’t forget you will need something to wear for the shower, bachelorette party, rehearsal dinner as well. More shoes, more accessories, and the list goes on. If you know you cannot afford the festivities, be honest with the bride,  “I am honored that you asked me to be your bridesmaid and although I would love to be included in the wedding, I simply cannot afford it. I would be honored to be a guest” Otherwise you might be broke and resentful by the time the cake is cut. Once you have agreed to be an attendant, you are no longer entitled to say anything about your expenses. Keep your lips sealed and smile.

Be available. When you agreed to be a bridesmaid you had to know there would be shopping and fittings and all kinds of other pre-wedding activities. Your job is to make this easier for the bride, not harder. If you cannot attend something, being honest is better than being a no-show. With texting, instant messaging and facebook it is easier to stay in touch than ever. Missing an appointment is a cardinal sin and there  is no reason other than bodily harm that you should not be at a scheduled appointment.

Be honest. If asked your opinion, be honest. When it comes to bridal gowns, headpieces, bridesmaid gowns, cakes, whatever. You can have different opinions and still be friends. Remember that there are ways to deliver unkind words. “You butt looks huge in that gown” is not a good example. You might want to try something softer ” Cindy, you have a great figure but, I dont think this dress is very flattering.” However, if you realize this is the gown (or whatever) that she loves and adores, try to find something positive to say. You have signed on to be a support team, its time to be supportive. If asked for your honest opinion, give it as graciously as possible.

Run intereference. Bridesmaids have a lot less to do than the bride during the months and weeks leading up to the big day. You will be a great friend and a perfect bridesmaid by offering to run some errands, or help the bride simplify tasks somehow. This will be the greatest gift she receives, helping her to  handle any and all wedding tasks so the she remains stress free.

I saved the best advice for last: How to handle bridesmaid gown shopping. If the bride offers to take you and all of the attendants to try on dresses, this can be a lot of fun. It can also be the mother of all disasters. Approach it with kindness and fairness. Whether you are a size 2 or 22, remember its not about you: the bride has vision of what she wants the entire day to look like. Remember the scene in 27 dresses when Katherine Heigl goes through the closet and tries on each gown? Hilarious!!! But each of her friends had a vision and she was the perfect attendant by smiling, wearing the dress and not saying one word.  Help your engaged friend to realize her own unique vision by being as cooperative as possible. The only complaints that should be voiced are of the dress is  ill-fitting,  painful (poorly constructed gowns sometimes have cheaper components which can actually hurt and leave marks) or if there is something about that dress that makes you seriously uncomfortable. For instance, if you are quite busty and the gown has little coverage which leaves you a victim of side-boob exposure. Most brides are not stuck in the ‘same gown for everyone’ mold, anyway. Today’s wedding trend is to find a different gown that looks good on each attendant in the same color or one gown in several colors. There are so many choices… talk to the bride in private and explain your concerns, don’t turn it into a free-for-all or let any resentment build up. She does not want frowns, red marks or nipples in her wedding photos so if approached properly, any problem can be rectified. The same goes with shoes. If they are ugly – wear them and donate them after. If they seriously hurt your feet, explain to the bride why you cannot wear them. Offer to find a similar pair that are more comfortable for you and work it out. Unless she is truly that one in a million BRIDEZILLA,  she will be happy you spoke to her instead of complaining behind her back.

-ps – a great way to show your engaged pal that you are definitely in her corner is to offer to attend a bridal expo with her. Bridal Expo Chicago has 32 shows in 2011 and one of them is near you. With dozens and dozens of vendors and our luxurious runway fashion show you will have the time of your life. Call 847-428-3320 to get four complimentary tickets to a show in your area.

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago