Crimes of Fashion – 2011 Red Carpet Faux Pas

The E! Fashion Police headed by the always irreverent Joan Rivers have released their top ‘Fashion Felons of  2011’ and I have to say I can’t agree more. For crimes of fashion so severe it will take a  phone call  from the governor to be pardoned, these  women have 12 months to reclaim their fashion status and endless walks down the red carpet to erase the memory of their 2011 faux pas.  Without further adieu, the envelope please:

7. Jennifer Lopez consistently makes the best dressed list but, not in this white beaded cape getup. The problem is that there is no reason for this cape. The beads make the sheer fabric look heavy and begs the question, “Why would anyone would wear a sheer tablecloth with heavy beading?”

6. Rihanna choice for the Grammys this year was Jean Paul Gaultier. Gaultier is best known for his bustier look and outfitting Madonna so, I’m not sure at what point this gown seemed like a good idea. I sincerely doubt if event he Material Girl herself would attempt to pull off this ruffled tragedy. But, I’m talking about it so I guess that is the whole point.

 

 

5. Nicole Kidman  wore a gown to the Oscars that was out of this world… and not in a good way. Futuristic, yet reminiscent of a bad 1980’s  gown, this Christian Dior peplum gown was not red carpet worthy. Someone please explain to me why she wore red shoes.

4. Cierra Wilson wore an Emilio Pucci to the VMAs. In addition to wearing the wrong shoes, this gown is probably the worst representation of an iconic design house that I have ever seen.

3. Nicki Minaj showed up to the Grammys in a head-to-toe leopard outfit she described as “a masterpiece by Givenchy, a miraculous piece of lioness meets her cub meets fierce-ocity meets fabulosity meets fashionista meets everything.” She was dead wrong.

2.  Helena Bonham Carter loves to dress up, or is it play dress up? Her appearance at the Golden Globes in a Vivenne Westwood tulle, print, draped bodice monstrosity was nothing compared to her mismatched shoes. Interestingly enough she has another pair at home just like them.

1. Princess Beatrice wore a fairly ordinary outfit to her cousin, Prince William’s wedding to Kate Middleton last April. What was not ordinary was her fascinator (hat) created by milliner-to the stars Phillip Treacy.  Compared to everything from a part of the female anatomy to an octopus, this hat even launched it’s own facebook page. The outcome- someone paid $131,648  when the hat was auctioned on eBay, all proceeds going to UNICEF. It seems she redeemed herself in the end.

Who were your choices for the worst offenders of 2011?

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

 

Sequins 101

I remember the 80’s very well. The decade of decadence, the opulent era, the big sleeves, even bigger shoulder pads and  hair! Although an 80’s revival period is unlikely to occur I have noticed in the past few months that a plethora of super-sparkly gowns have re-emerged to create the illusion of a Miss America pageant at red carpet events.

To start things off, the term for a gown covered in sequins is ‘sequined’ not ‘sequenced’. If you can’t spell it or pronounce it, don’t wear it. Sequins are small shiny disks with a hole in the center for purposes of attaching them to fabric. They come in a million varieties of color, shape, size and hole placement and any one of those can cause them to look like glittering diamonds…oooooh! If not worn properly, they can add size and dimension to an otherwise adorable figure.

Take Amy Poehler at the Emmys… please. Although her gown was smooth and seemed to be a good choice on the hanger, she didn’t seem to understand the physics of reflecting light and the affect it has on your post-baby body.  That same gown in silk crepe would have been stunning, maybe with a bra and a long delicate diamond necklace to pull your eyes downward… and one size bigger.

Or how about Juie Bowen in this Oscar de la Renta gown? To me, this sequined print fabric is matronly and confusing. This gown would have been better in layers of silk chiffon of any color and would have transformed her into a femme fatale.

Although not sequined, Jane Krakowski’s J. Mendel gown was  pure Alexis Carrington, minus the two sizes too small corset. If this gown had been made of any natural fiber or any other fabric than space foil, she would have been a knockout. But the super shiny fabric seems to accentuate some over-zealous  darts.  I only mention this gown because it is apparently made of some sort of lame`, which was also big in the 80’s.

Last but never least –  everyone’s  favorite secretary and voluptuous beauty, Christina Hendricks wore a sequined, bedazzled Johanna Johnson gown so close to her own skin color that she appeared to be nothing but red hair and lips….. and huge boobs. This gown was either borrowed from the Miss Universe wardrobe department or from the set of Titanic. Either way, the overbedazzled fabric is not right for this gown. If this were made of silk charmeuse we could see that the asymmetrical seams are a perfect fit for her curvaceous physique.

Are sequins back? If so, when is too much just…. too much? And remember, just because you have a sparkly gown doesn’t mean you don’t have to wear jewelry!

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago