Kim’s Fairytale Wedding – The Party’s Over

There is always that moment after the wedding is over when you wish you could do the whole thing again. The dress, the party, the dancing and seeing all of your friends/family in one place – everything and everyone looking so wonderful. Then you start addressing the Thank You Notes and settling into married life and realize how much work went into the whole thing, thinking maybe you can wait until your 10th anniversary to plan another event of this magnitude. After about six months, when all of the excitement has died down all you want to do is have one nice quiet evening at home with no tasks or ‘to-do’ lists.

Then there are those cases when the wedding lasts longer than the marriage. Whether it is finances, place of residence, children, or infidelity, the realization that you married the wrong person has to be painful.  Yesterday’s announcement of Kim Kardashian’s probable divorce did not come as a shock to as many people as she would have suspected. While I would like to say that Kim Kardashian deserves some time to work this out in private, I can’t for several reasons:

-With all the debate over gay marriage – also known as civil unions or in my house, just plain “marriage”, I wonder why people can’t let this go. Another example of two heterosexual people who have all the rights afforded to them by the state and federal government (and the approval of conservative marriage activists) to marry whomever they want and have it televised to the tune of $18 million +, to stay married for 2 or 3 months and divorce for no reason, to marry multiple times to whomever for whatever reason and treat the process in a disposable manner…. yet two men or two women who are truly in love and have already shared more life experiences than most couples cannot legally ‘marry’ in their state. AND even when they are afforded the rights, they walk away with a certificate that says “Civil Union”. This is completely unjust and I feel a public explanation is due.

-When you are married in front of television cameras for ratings and profit, when the entire romance and proposal and engagement are televised for ratings and profit, when you live every moment of your life for ratings and profit, you should have to answer every single question from every single person who contributed to your ratings and profit.

– If you are able to turn a  self-indulgent lifestyle into a career, you should have enough sense to ask your future husband or wife a few simple questions: “Where will we live after we are married?” and “How will we support ourselves… will we both be working?” or “Where will we raise our children”.

In my opinion, Kim Kardashian should have to answer every question, return every gift and donate every dollar made  to a charity … one that fights for equal marriage rights for all. 

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

 

 

Show Me The Sleeve!

In case you didn’t hear, there was a celebrity wedding last weekend. Not just any celebrity but, a  celebrity (?) who has 5 million twitter followers and has the rare  opportunity to change fashion. My hope was to  steer bridal fashion away from the bare shoulders which have completely dominated the first decade of the 21st century, sliding into the second decade still in first place. The Kardashian wedding had more security than a NATO conference and most of it was to ensure that no one took pictures and leaked anything in fear Mom Kardashian (Jenner) could not collect her 10% from the reported $18 million profit so, the only photo currently available  shows nothing but bare shoulders and a diamond (not swarovski) headband and veil. We’ll get back to the headband in a moment.

Maybe I missed something but, the one Vera Wang gown I saw (and the grainy photo of the bridesmaids) looked completely strapless. Wedding gown? Strapless. Bridesmaids? Strapless. Mermaid, ball gown, pencil skirt, satin, tulle or beaded –  it doesn’t really matter since what I was looking for was something with a little more style and coverage. Let me clear this up once and for all: I am not a prude. I don’t have any religious convictions that prohibit me or anyone from exposing their shoulders in church or during a religious ceremony. I don’t particularly care if someone wants to go topless, strapless or completely see-through. My (strong) opinions on this subject are strictly from a design standpoint. Strapless has been done to death and it has quite frankly become boring. Show me something with some style and class and couture detail, show me something other than your boobs! Don’t even get me started on how  few women really look good in strapless, especially larger busted or heavier women. Two words that should never enter your mind at a wedding: Backfat and Sideboob.

Last spring we witnessed Katherine Middleton become the Duchess of Cambridge in a Long sleeved lace gown. Her gown, no matter how beautiful, did not seem to make a bit of difference to designers. Last weekend Kim Kardashian had the opportunity  to  leave an indelible mark on fashion history, to send designers rushing back to the proverbial  drawing board in a  mad dash before next month’s Spring bridal market.  If the small photo I saw is any indication, I doubt if anyone is scrambling.  Maybe one of the other two gowns has some standout quality that I haven’t seen yet and I am completely wrong about the whole thing. I guess we will see when the pictures come out in People magazine.

Back to theheadband:  just like the strapless gown, the tiara seems to have run its course so it was nice to see somthing unique. The headband was unusual because it didn’t exactly frame the face – it was sitting in the middle of it. Unusual? Yes, and no. I’ve seen this before, many times but not for some time. This style was quite popular in the 1980’s and was often accented by a large teardrop shaped stone ( pearl or crystal) in the center. Of course back then it was flanked by dozens of yards of veiling with huge poufs of veiling in varying sizes scattered with sequins, crystals, pearls and everything but the kitchen sink. This was a  version of that and perhaps could inspire brides to revert back to this style. Of course most brides can’t afford $10 million dollars worth of bling. I wouldn’t place any bets on this since sometimes styles  find their place in history and stay there, like the fluorescent, bubble, lame bridesmaid gowns. They made sense in the ’80’s but not so much now and anyone who would dare to bring them back would be banished into bridesmaid hell…. for all eternity. My opinion? The headband was okay but looked costume-y and would have made perfect sense with Grecain style gown or a vintage 1920’s look. With the strapless gown (from  the limited amount I saw) it looked like a wedding scene from the early days of Dynasty. Actually Dynasty seems tame compared to the Kardashian /Jenner production.

So what does all this mean? Actually nothing. Not one thing has changed since Kate or Kim got married and even though a few designers are challenging the  strapless trend (Kudos) it will take the consumers to force the trend to change. I am excited to see what the designers have in store for the upcoming market since I have inside information that there are a few designers offering non-strapless choices. Hopefully instead of cleavage, we can talk  about sleeve-age.

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

Here comes the Bride, again – Simply Second Weddings

Lets take a look at some numbers for a moment. If 50% of marriages end in divorce, and roughly 25% of the population is getting married for the second time, that means that for every two weddings at least one-half of the couple is having their second wedding. Make sense? If not – think of it this way: If you attended two weddings this year, statistically one of the people in one of those weddings should be enjoying their second trip down the proverbial aisle. Depending upon the age of the participants, it will be more or less.

In the old days,  the second wedding was a toned-down affair, small ceremony ( or none at all) and casual  location for the reception. Many times there are children involved and back then no one wanted to make a big deal of the second wedding particularly if the first ended in divorce.

Second time brides and grooms are generally a little older and wiser and as a result make different ( no one said better) choices as how to spend their money. The first wedding is uncharted territory; priorities are different and the budget is probably being managed by one or both sets of  parents.

Women who are about to become a bride for the second time used to wear a less formal, more toned-down look. Not true anymore. Although the choices are different, they are many times less than toned-down. You are definitely older and more than likely paying for this gown yourself. Kim Kardashian will take the plunge for the second time later this year and her second wedding will out-do her first by a long shot. A $2 million wedding outshines Vegas given any odds.

If the bride is considerably older she will probably want to take that into consideration when trying on gowns. Strapless, corset style dresses might just be a little too youthful for an older bride and lets face it –  after 40 you are no longer considered the sexy ingenue. I suggest that brides 40 and over to ask for a consultant that is closer to your age so she will be able to better understand your needs both emotionally and physically.
Color of the gown is not really important. The concept of only a virgin-bride wearing white is outdated and unrealistic. It is almost medieval! At any age, good taste should prevail. Recent celebrity bride Reese Witherspoon opted for a pale pink gown by famed bridal designer Monique Lhullier, which was the epitome of good taste for her casual affair. The late Elizabeth Taylor, undoubtedly the queen of matrimony ( she was married 8 times)  had the good sense to wear a canary yellow Valentino gown for her last marriage. Yes, it was a lace ball-gown, yes it cost over $25,000 and yes it had a sweep train but, it was also a highly publicized affair at Michael Jackson’s ranch and it was Elizabeth Taylor. Take everything into consideration when shopping for your gown. Designers are taking all of theses statistics into consideration and it shows in the style of their gowns.  If you shop for a gown during a trunk show you will most likely meet the designer and be able to discuss changes and color options.

Even if your first attempt at marital bliss ended eons ago, there are some things that are considered faux pas such as hosting a large wedding shower for yourself for a second or third wedding or wearing full bride regalia over the age of 50. You also  don’t need daddy to walk you down the aisle for the fourth time, and half a dozen bridesmaids are not necessarily in order. Walk yourself down the aisle and have one attendant to sign the marriage license. Your daughter or son (if they are of age) or a close friend or family member will suffice.

There is no need to be shy about having a large second wedding, always ask for advice from trusted professionals and don’t be afraid to have a grand affair. The best way to avoid criticism from others is not to ask for their opinions. “What do you think of this?” can lead you down a path you may not want to go.

My best advice is  go to www.bridalshowexpo.com and get tickets to one of our shows There you can meet with our seasoned professionals and  help answer questions for your first or second trip to the altar.

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago