VMA Red Carpet – Who Wore What and Why?

Awards ceremonies are one of my guilty pleasures. I love seeing what celebrities will show up wearing and seriously… I love the ‘don’ts’ as much as the ‘dos’, the hits, misses and the inconceivable. This is actually one of my favorite of the awards ceremoinies since the performers almost always dress like creative artists and not Miss America contestants. Although I adore  gorgeous gowns, I also crave the unusual and I cannot imagine an awards ceremony where someone doesn’t look like a circus performer. Last night’s Video Music Awards was no disappointment.

Breaking News: Britney Spears either fired her stylist immediately before or should have done so immediately after the awards last night. She looked great: fit, blonde and perky. Her outfit – boring and taseteless. Great accessories and shoes could have saved this adorable dress but there was nothing, nothing, nothing glam or fab about the overall look.

Lady Gaga /Jo Calderone – I don’t get it. If you are going to dress like a man, at least wear something worthy of your caliber of creativity.

Beyonce – Congratulations on your pregnancy. Now, go back to Lanvin and tell them you don’t want something that looks like it came out of the Golden Girls wardrobe closet… or the Commodores.

Jessie J – Love her bedazzled crutches,  hair and makeup were flawless but, the rest of the outfit is lacking in continuity. Forget the fact that it is a Vegas showgirl-on-a budget costume ( not even a  good one)  but, what is with  the super opaque support pantyhose?

Kim Kardashian’s gown was a disaster… on her. This is not a good dress  for a short, voluptuous woman and I can’t get past the wrinkled nude portion of the back of the dress.

Nicki Minaj? There is not one single part of this that made sense. Is the mask part of a tribute to Michael Jackson or was she recently exposed to SARS? None of this makes any sense. If you can’t do ‘Lady Gaga’ right, don’t do it at all. All I know is that if she walked past my dogs with that ‘train’ of what appears to be squeaky toys,  she might have a fight on her hands.

Justin Beiber has a really cute face. So cute he could easily look feminine…. but not if he is carrying a mini-snake and wearing a brooch, right? I don’t think his attempt at wearing gold chains was a huge success, either. The only thing missing is his mother’s gold charm bracelet. Wait….. never mind.

Miley Cyrus’ gown was way too old for her and did not fit properly. I did liek the dress, just not on her.

Last but not least (GOD FORBID) the cast of Jersey Shore was on hand to prove that less is not more. Whether it is bronzer, bruises, sequins, profanity or alcohol, the women of this reality show prove that you can take the girl out of inappropriate situations but you can’t take the inappropriate response out of the girl.

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago