Category Archives: Avoid Wedding Disasters

Pet Friendly Weddings

Posted on by

Are you considering having your pet in your wedding? Let me reassure you, there is nothing with having pets involved in your wedding. Dressing  dogs in tuxedos and tulle is completely adorable – even though I’m not sure I get it. Are the dogs getting married, too? Having cats and or dogs part of the ceremony is not a brand new concept but it is one that  sparks controversy and rolling eyes everywhere. Just remember; you are entitled to invite or include anyone you want (canine, feline or human) , as long as you both agree.

This is your wedding, if you both decide you want your pet in your wedding, you can do so with great style and good taste. There are a few things you can do to reduce stress:

1) Make sure your pet does well around strangers. All you need is for your dog to bare his teeth to one guest and the party is over.

2) Hire someone to handle the dog before,  during and immediately after the ceremony since you will have other obligations and things to do. You cannot be chasing a pet around the church or picking up poo in your bridal gown.

3) Make sure the pet is groomed immediately before the event, including a good teeth cleaning. Dog breath can be pretty bad.

4) After the ceremony, make sure the pet is taken home right away. Although the ceremony may be okay, the reception is no place for any kind of animal UNLESS it is your home and your own backyard. They still might find themselves under foot so keep your eye on the cake table and always have a back up plan.

5) Make sure you discuss the pet with all of your vendors, especially the photographer so they will know there may be extra work involved. If your pastor or officiant is allergic to dogs and you have a dog at the altar, this could be a bad thing.

Last but not least, consider your pet’s feelings. If this an animal that handles attention well, is obedient, and can handle some extra responsibility, move ahead. If your pet is easily frightened, does not walk on a leash well, has too much energy, slobbers all over the place, sheds like crazy or has not had proper obedience training, you may want to leave them at home or with someone who can watch them for the entire day.

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

 

Don’t Let This Happen To You – Common Grooming Mistakes

Posted on by

It is common knowledge  that everyone wants to look good for their wedding and that good grooming is  a must. While grooming typically refers to bathroom activities such as  cleaning and styling the hair, getting body, face or groin hair removal and getting nails done, some people become so over-obsessed with grooming that they go a bit too far. How could taking too much care of yourself possibly be a bad thing?

Mistake #1)Mother of the Groom – November 2000. Weeks before her son’s wedding my friend wanted to look her best so she began tanning (tanning bed) and planned a quick trip to Florida to add some sun to the tanning bed color of her skin. My friend also thought this would be a good time to rejuvenate her skin a little and invested in some light Botox treatments. Sounds okay, right? Actually, she came to her son’s wedding unrecognizable. Her dark brown skin was extremely puffy, blotchy and there were spots of mis-shapen skin around her eyes.  There was no solution, there was no way to disguise her awkward appearance and this is still the only thing I remember of her son’s wedding to this day. The problem: too many different treatments too close to the wedding. To avoid this:  decide which is more important – tan or wrinkles!

Mistake #2) Groom – July 2005. About six weeks before the wedding, the groom decided to thin out his eyebrows a little. He figured this would be enough time to decide whether or not this was right for him and also be able to return to the salon before the wedding for a touch-up. The initial visit went great, his eyebrows were thinner and looked more controlled but not too severe. A week before the wedding, he went for his touch up and came out looking like Joan Crawford. Again, there is no solution since you cannot re-grow hair in one week. The problem: he went to a different stylist who was not familiar with what he wanted and went too far. To avoid this: always see the same stylist and take pictures of what you want to look like. Leave nothing to the imagination. This can happen to women, too! Remember  whether you are shaving, plucking, tweezing or threading, it will take a month to re-grow to their natural state. Of course everyone is different and it could take longer or never grow back at all. 

Mistake #3) Bride – October 2008. The bride  decided to go for a salon makeover just days before the wedding.  Unbeknownst to her, she had very sensitive skin and for whatever reason the products did not agree with her. She came home looking great and loved the makeup but, the next day when she awoke she was puffy, red and completely covered in bumps. With only two days to calm her skin down, the solution included a trip to a dermatologist and a prescription. The problem: trying out new cosmetics only days before your wedding. To avoid this: never do anything new to your hair or skin or nails within two weeks of your wedding. If you are going to try new skin care products or makeup, do it at least a month in advance. All makeup is not created equal and the price is not always the problem.  Plan early and have a makeup trial as far in advance as possible.

Mistake #4) Bridesmaid – July 2010. Not wanting to look pale and pasty on her BF’s big day, a well-intended bridesmaid decided at the last minute (literally hours before the wedding) do do a little self tanning. She sprayed self tanner all over her chest and face and arms and then immediately dressed and prepared  for the wedding. She was streaky, orange, smelled of product and (according to her) stained the lapel of at least one male guest who hugged her. The only solution in this case is photoshop for the pictures.  The problem: self tanners are messy and hard to apply properly, they have a distinct odor and should never be tried out this close to an event. How to avoid: Don’t bother with self-tanner. Ask any professional photographer and they will tell you that dark tans do not look good in wedding pictures. Self tanners last  about five days and spray tans can  last up to 2 weeks so, if you get the wrong color, it will require some effort to remove it from your skin. Ask the spray tan specialist  for  the best color for you. Specialist is the operative word – ask the manager or owner or another informed consultant at the salon.

To comlpetely avoid any and all grooming diasters, here is the  best advice you will ever hear :

Don’t try anything new less than a month before your event.

 

 

–Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

The Down Side of Micro-Managing Your Wedding

Posted on by

I’ve heard the term ‘micro-managing’ used for years, never knowing the exact definition of it until last summer when I encountered a young woman about to get married. This well intended young lady actually took on the task of overseeing every minute detail of her wedding to the point where she wanted the exact same number of green leaves in each bouquet. She examined every picture and product under a figurative microscope to a degree that probably sent every vendor to therapy after the event was over. This  management style, known as “micro-managing,” is defined by a petty  approach to managing every detail of one’s business. Imagine Donald Trump checking the copier every day to see how much toner is left… that’s micro-managing.

So, how do detail oriented couples get past the urge to micro-manage?

Start with a list. Prioritize everything that you, as a couple, find important and sign it. Use that list to avoid future arguments and make sure you both have your list at all times. This way you can say “Hey, that’s not on the list – so let’s not worry too much about it.”

Divert attention. Keeping yourself otherwise occupied will remind you that you are not defined by this event. Making it a priority and letting it consume all aspects of your life are two entirely different things.

Delegate. If someone offers to do something for you, let them do it. Pick up color samples, drop off a deposit check, place stamps on the invitation envelopes…. these are things that can be done by any responsible person. Responsible is the key word.

Hire professionals. Hiring reliable, trustworthy professionals to do the work will alleviate a lot of stress. A certified wedding planner will look after every detail so you don’t have to. They have established relationships within the industry, they can find deals, shortcuts and have experience with common mistakes. Using a wedding planner will cut your urge to micro-manage in half.

The one detail you can and should manage is to always check references. Never use a vendor that has no portfolio or client testimonials. Don’t settle for what they have listed on their website or in a brochure, you need to do some legwork; talk to clients, check with the BBB and other resources.

If you remember your priorities, trust each other and hire reliable vendors, there will be no need to spend every waking hour filling your appointment book with trivial, time-consuming, meaningless tasks.

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

 

Fools For Love – April 1st Wedding Pranks

Posted on by

For some couples getting married on April Fools Day, the temptation to pull a few pranks is just too hard to resist. Although not a national holiday, April Fool’s day is  recognized in nearly every corner of the world and has been celebrated with trickery and foolishness for over  500 years. 

You see, until 1582 April 1st was the beginning of the calendar year. Along comes Pope Gregory XIII who orders everyone to change to the Julian Calendar and when some people resisted they were referred to as April Fools. So while everyone else was ringing in the New Year in January, these fundamentalist hold-outs were maintaining April 1 as New Years Day. As such, they were considered fools and were the butt of many jokes and pranks. I’m sure there are many Chicagoans who can sympathize with the hold-outs considering the whole Sears/Willis Tower and Macy’s/ Marshall Fields debate that still conjures emotional outrage from some die-hard fans of the previous residents of either building. To them I say, “Happy New Year!”

So, how exactly would you go about pranking guests on your April Fool’s Wedding Day? It is tough because emotions are high and when under that much stress, most people seem to respond negatively to pranks and practical jokes. To prank like a pro, follow these Do’s and Don’ts:

Don’t:

Do anything that even suggests break up, fights, cheating or anything else tawdry. This is beneath you – only amateurs will resort to the lowest common denominator.

 Pranks that involve property damage or stains are also low-brow.

 Avoid anything that involves physical antics or you may risk injury at your wedding.

THE #1 DON’T: Don’t plan a  prank at someone’s wedding without their approval.  The bride and groom should always be aware of any hi-jinx so they can enjoy it and not be on needles and pins, or worse, be caught off guard by something that could potentially become a source of embarrassment.

Do’s:

Consider small gag gifts in place of wedding favors. A lovely wrapped box at each place setting and when they open it …BOOM! The classic snake (formerly in a can) pops out!

Instead of a toast, recite a monologue from a movie that you know most everyone has seen. Something completely out of context would be good. You could also do a montage of famous movie quotes. Either way you will have most people scratching their heads and/or laughing.

Arrange for one of your guests to be in on the joke; when the officiant asks if anyone objects-  someone stands up, adjusts their clothing and sits down. Hearty laughs will follow.

Know your audience. If you are both Master Pranksters and all of your guests know this, they will be expecting something, going small might be out of the question. If you are low-key and hardly ever engage in anything less than serious, your friends and family will react differently when you pull off the prank of all pranks.

The end result should be a day of joy and merry-making, not a a three ring circus where everyone is trying to out-prank one another. A few light hearted jabs here and there will definitely lighten the mood and lift everyone’s spirits… even the hold-outs! 

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

 

Angry Brides vs Rude Guests

Posted on by

Although the spelling is very close, ‘Angry Brides’ are quite different from the wingless birds of the game variety. They are both of varying sizes, they are both on a mission  to accomplish their task. Fortunately, there are no brides ( no matter how angry) that explode upon contact. So, as a guest, how can you avoid being the giant pig in a hard hat? Here are the top six things that can really get under a bride’s skin:

1) RSVP. The reply card should already have a stamp so, send it as early as possible and don’t make any changes like adding a guest when one is not invited… and don’t change it after the RSVP date or (God forbid) just show up. How hard is that? Do that for every wedding related event and you will be just fine.

2) Put a card on the gift. If the gift has no card, how is the couple supposed to know who it is from? To be safe, always enclose a small card inside the wrapped gift. If it is being sent directly from a website or store, bring a card to the reception that indicates a gift was already sent. “Best Wishes on your wedding, I (we) hope you enjoy the ________ that was sent previously from ________”. This way the bride and groom know a gift was sent, where it came from and if it didn’t arrive, they can let you know.

3) Don’t inundate the bride with tons of questions about the wedding. Cost, number of guests, what kind of flowers, location, date, ring, gown, etc. Most brides are very excited to talk about their wedding but, asking too many questions all the time may seem intrusive and is downright rude. Furthermore, the cost of things is no one’s business unless the couple  publicizes it and then it is equally tacky.

4) Don’t show up late or not at all. Whether you are a vendor, a bridesmaid or a friend; showing up late, missing important appointments and forgetting wedding related events is out of the question. If you have a problem attending, let the bride know as soon as you get the invitation, not ten minutes before. See #1.

5) Don’t ask to alter the menu. If you have severe food allergies, inform the bride right away so concessions can be made on the menu, or decline the invitation. However, be prepared with an epi-pen just in case, since no matter how hard you try, mistakes can happen. Some allergies are severe enough to be triggered by the smell of the peanuts, it’s better to be safe than sorry. Keep in mind – food allergies are a lot different from food preferences. Your preferences are not the bride’s concern but, your health should be.

6) Becoming inebriated at the reception. Have a drink or two, unwind a little, have some fun – but, end it there. If your speech is slurred, it is time to stop drinking alcohol and go home.

As a guest, attendant or family member at a wedding you aren’t required to make sure every detail is executed flawlessy but, it is your job make sure your conduct is on point. Try to remember how much planning, expense and stress is involved and be mindful of your place in the wedding.

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

How Many Bridesmaids?

Posted on by

The average number of attendants has risen over the last few years from 3 to 6 since 2000. Six bridesmaids is a lot to manage. Statistically you will probably have at least one who is married, one who is pregnant, one who is difficult, one who is broke, and one who has issues. In addition to planning the wedding you will also have to keep a watchful eye on bridesmaid gown orders, shoes and  and at the very least be aware of the fittings, etc when the gowns arrive. You will have to be sensitive to each of them and at certain times flexible so keep that in mind when it seems like a good idea to have 8 bridesmaids. Ask yourself, “Do I have the patience to handle this?”

The most important thing you can do if you are having several attendants is to have a very reliable maid of honor. She will need to oversee all of the scheduling and act as a buffer between you and the difficult one, anyway. Without her, you will be drowning in drama. Have a heart to heart talk and tell her that you need her to keep things in check, remind her that you are counting on her to help things go smoothly. If she flinches, you need to pick someone else.

Myth: You can’t have an odd number of bridesmaids.

Fact: You can have any odd or even number including the (unlucky) 13.

Myth: There has to be an usher for every bridesmaid

Fact: Grown women are perfectly capable of walking up and down the aisle solo. In fact you can have one usher escort two bridesmaids if necessary.

Myth: There should be  one bridesmaid for every 50-60 guests.

Fact: You can have a many or as few as you like. The record? Jill Stapleton of Ohio had 110 bridesmaids at her wedding in June 2010. To be fair, you should not have more attendants than guests.

No matter how many bridesmaids you choose, make sure they are all on board with the planning, the spending and the entire affair. The last thing you need is to be worrying about everyone else’s problems.

 

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

Our (Lack of) Wedding Party : wedding bridesmaid groomsman tallahassee Vintage034 vintage034

Daylight Savings Time and Your Wedding

Posted on by

Last night nearly everyone in the United States set their clocks forward one hour in observance of Daylight Savings Time, with the exception of Arizona, Hawaii and Puerto Rico. Daylight Savings Time was first introduced to reduce the amount of artificial lighting used  and to allow human beings internal clocks to adjust to the solar calendar. Research shows, without fail, that the practice of  ‘springing forward’ or ‘falling back’ has little or no affect on productivity or sleep patterns.  The reality is in modern times our schedule is our schedule, we work from 9 am to 5 pm ( fro example) no matter the season.

Seeing as how this is a blog about weddings and wedding planning you are probably asking yourself,  “What gives with the Dalight Savings Time lecture and who cares?” The reality is that if you plan your wedding on the weekend of either the Spring or Fall time change, it will have an affect on you and your guests.

Fact: Clocks are set forward the second Sunday in March, and backward on the first Sunday in November.

Tip: It is perfectly acceptable to remind your guests either on the invitation somewhere or on your website that this is the weekend of a time change, especially if your wedding is on that Sunday! You don’t want people showing up an hour late.

Fact: Most cell phones automatically change the time for you.

Tip: It is a good idea to set reminders on your phone or other device to alert you the day or week before the time change so you can get used to the change.

Fact:  Losing an hour of sleep in the Spring is awful.

Tip: Starting the Monday before the scheduled time change, set your alarm clock ten minutes early. By Saturday you will be waking up 50 minutes earlier than usual, on Sunday you will wake up feeling refreshed and never know you missed an hour of sleep.

There always has an always will will be controversy over whether or not the semi-annual time changes are necessary, there are websites, petitions and legislation trying to abolish Daylight Savings Time. For modern brides and grooms there is very little to worry about and if handled properly, it shouldn’t present any problems at all.

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

 

Weddings Are Not Casual Friday

Posted on by

The other day my son asked me why men used to wear suits to baseball games. Isn’t it interesting that even a 9 yr old noticed that people don’t dress properly anymore?  There have been those occasions when I wear pajamas to drop my kids off at school in the morning, knowing I am not getting out of the car but, if my foot steps out onto the pavement you had better believe that I am fully dressed in a (somewhat) presentable fashion.  Which is why it is so odd to me that when I go to a wedding, I always see someone underdressed. In order to help you understand how to be the perfectly dressed guest at a wedding, I have put together some guidelines:

Daytime Casual –  does not mean wear jeans and flip-flops. Wedding casual is different from ‘running to the grocery store’ casual. Wedding Casual means you could get by with a floral dress, sweater and skirt set, or even a sundress (weather permitting). For men open necked shirts with no tie are perfectly acceptable, in fact a nicer Hawaiian shirt for a beachfront venue is striking.  Men and women both need to take note of the location of the wedding – if it is beach or grass, make sure you are wearing shoes that can handle nature without aerating the soil or sinking into the sand. For evening casual just kick it up a notch -no need to break out your finest but, perhaps a touch of sparkle wouldn’t hurt, either. Always keep the setting in mind.

Semi- Formal – Dress as if you were headed to the theater. A flirty cocktail dress and heels, or a dressy pantsuit. You want to be comfortable, able to move easily and to dance, of course. Avoid long dresses, it is too formal. For men- your suit  doesn’t have to be  black even though it is always a safe choice. You can also wear a blazer and slacks as long as you have a tie.

Black Tie Optional – this indicates that you can go  formal if you want, but you don’t have to. Women can wear a dress that is long or short, as long as it indicates elegance. Some beads and/or sequins are acceptable. Men can wear a tuxedo or a nice dark suit.

Black Tie – this is when you can bring out your finest and not feel over-dressed. If the invitation says Black Tie – its time to bring out the beads; beaded accessories,shoes,  sparkly earrings and perhaps a long silk wrap you have tucked away in a closet somewhere. Although in the past long dresses were required, it is acceptable to wear tea-length gowns but, avoid  short cocktail gowns. Dress as if you were invited to aPresidential Inaguration Ball or the Academy Awards!  For men it simple: Wear a tuxedo. Wear the tux with studs and bow tie and don’t forget to shine your patent leather shoes since no tuxedo is really a tuxedo without the right shoes.

If the invitation does not specify what type of event it is, look for clues so you aren’t over or (God forbid) under-dressed. The venue, the type of invitation, the time of day will all give you insight into what you should be wearing. If all else fails, call the bride or groom (if you feel comfortable) or a close member of the wedding party.

The most important thing is to feel comfortable in your choice. If you can’t move, sit or eat one bite – you will be miserable not able to enjoy this lovely event!

For more great tips and ideas on weddings visit Vines of the Yarra Valley, be sure to get tickets to one of our bridal shows in your area. Call 847-428-3320 for complimentary tickets to show in  your area.

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

 

You Get What You Pay For

Posted on by

Its true and we all know it. If you have your heart set on designer gown, buying a knock-off may seem the same but, it’s not. Not only the designer tag, some key elements may be missing. The same goes with jewelry, shoes, and just about everything else. Here is a look at  the pro’s and cons of the  real vs. fake argument.

Gown– Buying a less expensive copy of a designer gown is only a good idea if it is made well, made of quality fabric and has all the same elements that made you fall in love with the gown in the first place.

Headpiece– The same headpiece for less money made poorly is usually a disaster. Once your hair is done, having a headpiece that is poorly made can fall apart and will most likely destroy your hairstyle.

Eyelashes – Applied by a professional individually or even in strips is fine. Doing it yourself is probably a bad idea unless you have tons of practice. Otherwise, they will look like caterpillars stuck to your eyelids.

Hair – Even the best hair extensions can ruin your hair for a period of time. The good news it is rarely permanent damage but it does escalate permanent hair loss if you are already prone. Bad hair extensions look like hair plugs and can fall out in clumps at any time for no reason. If you decide on hair extensions for your wedding, make sure it is done professionally and short term only. 

Tan – Over exposure to the sun in tanning beds and in real life has a negative affect on your skin. Self spray tans have a distinct odor and can streak or come off on your clothes plus they usually come out looking orange. The best idea if you must tan before your wedding is a professional spray tan  no less than 5 days before the wedding. Exfoliate the day before your wedding to avoid discoloration of the gown.

Nails – Artificial nails, either gel or acrylic can look very natural so if you break a nail shortly before your wedding, this is an excellent option. Having extra long nails when you aren’t used to them makes things difficult to maneuver but, having extra long nails applied too long before the wedding runs the risk of  breaking one or more shortly before ( or during) the wedding.

Shoes – Knock off designer shoes are the absolute biggest mistake you can ever make. Your shoes should be comfortable, well-fitting and made of natural materials. Buying a copy of designer shoes in pleather is a mistake. Find the shoe that feels and fits the best on your foot without worrying about the label and you will never regret it.

Makeup – A lot of research and testing goes into cosmetics. Well, not all cosmetics. Although it may  possible to find less expensive makeup that does the same thing as a really great (probably expensive) foundation or Bare Minerals, the chances are you won’t.

At the end of the day what really matters is how you feel. If you are so bedazzled and bogged down with tips, extensions, weaves and spray tans that you are hardly recognizable or if you are so worried about designer names that the quality has become an after thought, it might be time to re-think your priorities. When it is all said and done spending a little more money for quality products may sometimes be the only option to avoid becoming a knock -off of yourself.

After all , you get what you pay for.

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

 

 

Reviewing the Reviews – How to Really Pick Your Wedding Professionals

Posted on by

As hard as it may seem to believe,  a lot of companies get their online reviews from within. If you have read this blog before, you know that I am the ultimate skeptic and that an online review to me means about as much to me as the paper on which I will never print it. In this case, my skepticism pays off.  A September report by the Pew Research Institute indicates that 58% of consumers purchase goods and services from the internet based in their online reviews. This was right about the same time the New York Times uncovered the truth about online reviews, exposing several companies who admitted to reviewing themselves repeatedly. Oddly enough one such company actual gave their company scathing reviews in order to improve their Google search results, and it worked.

As hard as it seems,  fake online reviews have gotten so out of control that the government is about to step in and figure out how to handle this growing problem. Until then, here are some guidelines to help you figure out how to spot a fake review when selecting professionals to service your wedding:

Name – Including the first and last name of the reviewer are not a guarantee that it is an actual person but, it greatly increases the odds. Generally online names like Bob234 are either automated programs or insiders trying to hide their identity. More information about the reviewer means more credibility.  Also check to see if this one name has several reviews on the same site or on other sites. Multiple postings is a sign that something is not right.

Date and Number – Check to see if there are swarms of reviews around the same date and for the same product or service. Clever marketers hire people to do product reviews based on a number of things like seasonal purchasing and promotional dates. 

Description – A description that sounds too good to be true probably is. Glowing recommendations are fine but, sometimes they go a bit too far and seem (what’s the word?) … phony. Also be careful of descriptions that are too technical to be from an average consumer point of view, they are probably not.

Links – If there is a link in the review, it is a fake. It is being used to drive you back to the original site.

Negative – Be careful of a negative review even if it seems legitimate since disgruntled ex-employees are notorious for going online; ranting and raving within the confines of a pseudonym. You could be passing up the best bridal salon in Chicago based on a sketchy review you read online.

When in doubt, check it out. The best and only reliable way to ensure that your wedding vendors are A+ or D- is to do your own research. Meet face-to-face  with each and every vendor and when you do, ask them for referrals. Ask for samples or examples of their work. Call previous customers who have used this service and find out firsthand about their experience. If you want to take it a step further, ask if you can attend one of their events and then you can decide for yourself.  When it comes to your wedding, you only have one shot to make it right and leaving your decision-making to reviews posted online is risky, at best.

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago