Monthly Archives: November 2011

Courthouse Weddings – Facts and Myths

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There is nothing that says a courthouse wedding can’t be fabulous. As with all brides and grooms, this is your event to plan any way you want and nothing is stopping you from having a memorable event… at the county courthouse.

Myth: You don’t have to get dressed up to get married at the courthouse.

Fact: You should wear something special. Buy a beautiful dress, some new shoes and jewelry, have your hair and makeup done. Maybe you don’t want a traditional wedding gown but, this is a great time to wear something really fabulous. I can’t be the only one that thought Carrie Bradshaw’s courthouse look was way better than the “bird on her head” wedding getup. Men should wear at least a sport coat or a tie. You are beginning your lives together and for that you should look your best. Set the bar high and don’t ever forget what a special day this is.

Myth: You don’t have to bring anyone with you

Fact: You should bring the people who mean the most to you. Let them witness this important event and remind you of the commitment you made. They will be happy you asked and you will be happy they came. In fact, you can bring  several people with you but, I would keep it to your immediate families so that no one gets hurt feelings.

Myth: You don’t need flowers.

Fact: You should have a small bouquet, and he should have a small boutonniere. It doesn’t have to be fancy or super-expensive, it should be simple and elegant and smell really good.

Myth: All you need is a few snapshots – from your cell phone!

Fact: You should definitely hire a photographer, even if it is only for a couple of hours. Since the majority of their clients get married on the weekend you may be able to hire a photographer for a much lower rate, it never hurts to ask. You will not be sorry that you have a few beautiful photos of your wedding no matter where it is.

Myth: If you get married in the courthouse you shouldn’t have a reception

Fact:  There are many reasons that some couples opt for a simple courthouse wedding. Sometimes it is due to economic difficulties, logistics,  and then there are some people just prefer the privacy of a civil ceremony. This doesn’t mean that you cannot have a celebration afterwards. Plan a simple family dinner at your favorite restaurant or an entire reception if you want, although you may not want to call it a ‘reception’ since that term is reserved for an event immediate following the ceremony. If you decide to go this route and wait a few months, consult your invitation specialist to change the wording accordingly. Don’t wait too long –  the sooner the better!

This is your wedding, your commitment, the beginning of your lives together, celebrate it how you want and remember this: no matter how low-key you want it to be… it can still be fabulous.

 -Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

 

 

 

Good Manners For Guests

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If the number one etiquette faux pas on the part of brides and grooms is being late to the ceremony, what do you suppose the number one offense is for guests? If you guessed being late, you are correct.Walking into the church or ceremony site during the ceremony itself is not only a no-no, it is disruptive. If you cannot arrive on time, wait until after the ceremony is over to enter.

Other serious infractions of good manners include:

Inappropriate Attire – Showing too much skin is in poor taste as well as not following the dress code, if one is stated on the invitation. If the bride is not dressed like a stripper – you shouldn’t be, either. If the invitation says black tie – don’t wear jeans.

Drinking – Overindulging in alcohol at the reception to the point of being out of control is unacceptable. Pace yourself.

Unplug– Texting, answering phone calls or checking your schedules on your phone during the ceremony or reception is a huge no-no. Turn your phone to vibrate or silent, especially during the ceremony. If the babysitter calls, let it go to voice mail and then step outside to call back. 

RSVP– Not sending the Reply card back and then showing up with your entire family is a guarantee that you will be welcomed with a surprised look and quite possibly not have a place to sit. If you receive a reply card with pre-paid postage, send it back and try to do it on time so the hosts have enough food and seats for everyone.

Being a good guest is easy: send in the reply card, show up on time, turn off your phone and limit your drinking. You and your host will have great memories if you obey just these few simple rules of etiquette.

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago.

 

 

 

 

The Most Common Wedding Etiquette Mistakes

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The purpose of good manners is to make other people feel comfortable. For centuries, manners have been dictated by society’s standards of conduct and this has worked out pretty well. Unfortunately some people never got the memo. In order for your wedding guests to feel comfortable, try to avoid these ‘most common etiquette mistakes’.

 1) Watch – I know that being late to your own wedding may seem inconceivable but, sometimes outside forces take over and you can’t control them. However, there should always be a plan in place to avoid being late. If something unforeseen occurs, make sure you are in contact with someone at the ceremony site to make an announcement at the time the wedding is supposed to start and give updates until you arrive. Being late for no other reason than you can’t keep track of time is rude in any situation, especially your wedding.

2) Save the Date – Sending someone a “Save the Date” card means they are also invited to the wedding. Both lists should be in sync. If you make a mistake and send someone a Save the Date and do not invite them, call them once you find out you have erred and apologize. If you send them an invite but had somehow omitted them from the Save the Date list, a call would be nice. In reality, Save the Date cards are a relatively recent custom so there is nothing that says you have to send them. Although nice, they are  not completely necessary so dont fret if you choose not to send them.

3) Invitations – Send the invitations 6- 8 weeks before the wedding. Sending the invitation two weeks before the wedding is rude and it makes the guest think they were an afterthought. If the invitation you sent came back to you for any reason, call the invited guest and explain to them what happened.

4) Church – Having a boombox instead of live music (strings or organist) is a huge mistake. This small expense will ‘class up’ your affair by leaps and bounds. Having boxed music at the ceremony seems a bit tacky, no?

5) Thanks – Sending Thank You Notes in a timely manner shows that you care. It shows that you are aware of your guest’s gift and you appreciate it. Waiting for nearly a year (or more)  to send out a Thank You Note is completely inconsiderate.

6) Gifts – Never list where you are registered in the invitation. You can put this information on your website if you have one but listing on the invitations is like saying “Come to my wedding and bring a gift.”

7) Flow – Make sure you have a qualified, trained and experienced DJ to keep things running smoothly during the reception. The last thing you need is to have  people introduced incorrectly or, even worse, not at all. The DJ  should have a script to work from and be well-versed on your specific wedding customs as well. A great DJ will almost certainly ensure a great reception.

The best thing you can do for yourself and your guests is to ‘forecast’ problems and plan ahead. A good wedding planner and a checklist will help. If all else fails, pick up the phone and ask for help… or forgiveness, whichever you feel is in order.

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

 

 

 

 

Kim’s Fairytale Wedding – The Party’s Over

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There is always that moment after the wedding is over when you wish you could do the whole thing again. The dress, the party, the dancing and seeing all of your friends/family in one place – everything and everyone looking so wonderful. Then you start addressing the Thank You Notes and settling into married life and realize how much work went into the whole thing, thinking maybe you can wait until your 10th anniversary to plan another event of this magnitude. After about six months, when all of the excitement has died down all you want to do is have one nice quiet evening at home with no tasks or ‘to-do’ lists.

Then there are those cases when the wedding lasts longer than the marriage. Whether it is finances, place of residence, children, or infidelity, the realization that you married the wrong person has to be painful.  Yesterday’s announcement of Kim Kardashian’s probable divorce did not come as a shock to as many people as she would have suspected. While I would like to say that Kim Kardashian deserves some time to work this out in private, I can’t for several reasons:

-With all the debate over gay marriage – also known as civil unions or in my house, just plain “marriage”, I wonder why people can’t let this go. Another example of two heterosexual people who have all the rights afforded to them by the state and federal government (and the approval of conservative marriage activists) to marry whomever they want and have it televised to the tune of $18 million +, to stay married for 2 or 3 months and divorce for no reason, to marry multiple times to whomever for whatever reason and treat the process in a disposable manner…. yet two men or two women who are truly in love and have already shared more life experiences than most couples cannot legally ‘marry’ in their state. AND even when they are afforded the rights, they walk away with a certificate that says “Civil Union”. This is completely unjust and I feel a public explanation is due.

-When you are married in front of television cameras for ratings and profit, when the entire romance and proposal and engagement are televised for ratings and profit, when you live every moment of your life for ratings and profit, you should have to answer every single question from every single person who contributed to your ratings and profit.

– If you are able to turn a  self-indulgent lifestyle into a career, you should have enough sense to ask your future husband or wife a few simple questions: “Where will we live after we are married?” and “How will we support ourselves… will we both be working?” or “Where will we raise our children”.

In my opinion, Kim Kardashian should have to answer every question, return every gift and donate every dollar made  to a charity … one that fights for equal marriage rights for all. 

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago