If you missed the royal wedding coverage, don’t despair! I am here! Too bad the  “E” channel didn’t let Joan Rivers and the rest of the Fashion Police (minus the tasteless Kelly Osbourne) loose on the royal wedding. Joan vs. everyone who attended the royal wedding? I would buy a ticket!

In lieu of that, I am going to let my proverbial guard down and get right to it:

Worst Dressed: Princesses Beatrice and Eugenie. I don’t know which one is which but, in this case it doesn’t matter. The redhead seemed to think that ‘heroin-chic’ makeup was good for daytime and a hat that looked like a cartoon uterus was a fine idea. The brunette opted for raiding the closet of the costumer from “The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas”. Both equally bad ideas. Maybe they were making a rebellious statement in response to the fact that their mother was un-invited. Someone needs to remind them the best revenge is living well, and looking good!

Best Dressed Guest: Lady Sophie Windsor wore exactly the right suit with exactly the right hat. The Armani Prive silk suit fitted her perfectly and her Philip Treacy hat was flawless. What she did right that so many other, including the mother of the bride, did wrong was her hair. When you are wearing a hat, your hair should be styled into the hat.  Her look was glamorous for a daytime wedding and pure Audrey Hepburn.

Best Dressed Future Monarch – Charlene Wittstock wore two of the best accessories a woman can have;  a beautiful smile and Prince Albert of Monaco. Her suit was stylish and  dignified and her hat was simple. Having recently become engaged to what many consider the world’s most eligible bachelor works well for her.

The “Enough is Enough” award goes to Tara Palmer Tomkinson. This picture is only worth a few words. Here goes:  The hat, shawl, gloves, shoes and dress don’t all need to be the exact same color, it makes you look like a children’s cartoon character, ezpecially with that particular hat.

Speaking of which, Queen Elizabeth chose yellow. Not the best color choice. The suit was fitted perfectly and had some nice detail. I kept thinking it was a familiar look and then I found this picture….. Smokin!

The “Everything but the kitchen sink” award goes to Miriam Gonzalez Durantez. Hurry, hurry, step right up! We have polka dots, big flowers on the head, satin,netting and more. Too many confusing elements make this outfit one of my least favorites.

Best Turquoise outfit of the day – Princess Michael of Kent. This is how it’s done. Everything doesn’t have to match! The pearls! The hat! the jacket! The hair! She has taste and knows how to put a daytime outfit together.  Turquoise was a big color, also being worn by Prince Harry’s on again off again girlfriend in an ill-fitting, too busty, unflattering suit (don’t get me started on the hair) and also by Samantha Cameron, wife of David Cameron, the prime minister of England. Samantha arrived sans hat and completely under-impressed me with a ruched dress, carrying an orange shawl.

What was your favorite look?

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago