One of the most exhilarating, romantic and personal parts of your wedding is the proposal and subsequent engagement. The story is told, re-told, sometimes shared with thousands of people online and sometimes even televised! It is also one of the few things that the groom does entirely on his own which is why the grand gestures are so much more significant.
For some, the uber-romantic proposals seem contrived. For others, like Kim Kardashian whose fiance spelled out “Will you marry me?” in rose petals and filmed the entire episode for their reality television show, it is not only accepted but expected. Goodyear blimps, the jumbotron at the Super Bowl or Times Square, it seems like bigger is better and less is not nearly enough when it comes to getting hitched.
Evidence this week with the “Live Lip Dub Proposal” by Isaac Lamb that went viral on youtube and every other imaginable news outlet. It is front page on Comcast, Yahoo, Huffington Post and more. In case you are not one of the 7 million hits on youtube, you can see it here:
Its no longer enough to pop the question in a quiet, secluded romantic setting like sitting on the beach watching the sunset. You have appear on a white horse, hire musicians and have a candlelit dinner catered at a cloth covered table on that beach, complete with waiters and chilled champagne. God Forbid you pop the question during the seventh inning stretch without the approval and knowledge of everyone at Wrigley Field… it must be on a screen larger than your first home with throngs of people waiting for the inevitable ‘YES’ !
These types of proposals at once rare are now almost expected. They are no longer about you as a couple, they seem to be about how you want everyone else to perceive you as a couple. They can also be quite expensive. There are even entire websites dedicated to unique wedding proposals and how to impress ( their word, not mine) your fiance by making a grand gesture. Interesting.
Of course no matter how you decide to propose, it is important to wait for the right moment and to make sure you know the answer before you ask. The best proposals are from the heart, they are intimate and really only involve two people.
Proposal Dos and Don’ts
Don’t propose without a ring. It doesn’t matter how large or small, you must bring some ring to the proposal. There are instances where it is spontaneous and there has been no preparation but, this is rare.
Do be prepared. If you are thinking she might be the one, buy a ring (insure it) and keep it with you… just in case.
Don’t propose at another celebration. Interrupting a toast at your brother’s wedding to ask your girlfriend to marry you is in poor taste. Let them have their moment, you will have yours.
Do include the family. Getting engaged during Christmas or family holiday celebrations can bring everyone closer emotionally even if they lived thousands of miles apart.
Whatever you decide, remember that romance is not always a grand gesture. Sometimes it is simply remembering her favorite flower, favorite color or in my case, just replacing the toilet paper every now and then.
-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago