What do you do if your fiance gives you an engagement ring and you hate it? It is hard to imagine but, this does happen. I can tell you firsthand that being on the receiving end of an expensive engagement ring that you do not want to wear or that you really do not like is a sticky wicket. Do you declare your feelings up front, learn to deal with it or subversively create your own solution?
In my case, I waited. Picture this: I open a small jewelry box, knowing what was inside and opened to find the most hideous thing I had ever seen. There was white and yellow gold, pave diamonds, brushed and satin finish combined all together in this giant lump. It was like a diamond turd, no kidding. When I saw it I cried, literally tears came rushing down my cheeks. My (now) husband thought they were tears of joy and I did not want to destroy the moment for him. I wore it for months. I wore it and waited until the opportunity presented itself for me to tell him it was not suited to my taste. I went back to the jeweler where he got it and exchanged it for a simple diamond band. The new ring I selected was supposed to come in a set of three but, I left the other two behind feeling like taking all three was a bit much. Unbeknownst to me my husband went in hours later and bought both remaining bands which he presented to me years later, at the birth of each of our two children. He may have bizarre taste in jewelry but, he has impeccable timing and great planning skills. I love my rings, but I love my husband more and his feelings were important to me. Important enough that if the appropriate opportunity had not come up I woud still be wearing the diamond turd and probably loving it by now.
My story has a happy ending but what do you do if the solution is not so simple, your fiance is sensitive, he doesn’t have a friend who owns a jewelry store or there is just no way you can bear to wear the ring?
Don’t hold back. When people hold things in, eventually they come out and you’d hate to be arguing one day and go off because you’re steaming about your ring.
Don’t waste any time. Most stores have a 30 day policy regarding exchanges. After that you will be paying considerably more to get something you like. Costco diamond jewelry comes with open end guarantee. You can bring it back for any reason at any time for a full refund or exchange. Who buys their engagement ring at Coscto? Don’t laugh- their diamonds have been rated as high as one (much pricier) major jewelry company in many independent surveys.
Be sensitive.This is especially true if it is his grandmother’s ring, or a family heirloom. Subtly ask if you can have it re-styled to suit your hand. Maybe you have tiny hands and it is large ring, or vice verse. Here are some fool-proof (and often true) excuses that ease the burden for the gentleman in question:
It’s top heavy and spins on my finger
Baguettes get cloudy too quickly
Channel set diamonds are too hard for me to keep clean
The prongs keep getting caught on things (followed by ) and I’m afraid the diamond will fall out
Marquis cut diamonds make my fingers look fat
My skin reacts to yellow gold.
Whatever you decide to do, remember that this is now your responsibility, you have to either wear it as is or “speak now or forever hold your peace”. You cannot have it both ways. If you decide to hold onto it, you are not allowed to bring it up years later or throw it in his face constantly, this is a recipe for disaster.
-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago