I’ve heard the term ‘micro-managing’ used for years, never knowing the exact definition of it until last summer when I encountered a young woman about to get married. This well intended young lady actually took on the task of overseeing every minute detail of her wedding to the point where she wanted the exact same number of green leaves in each bouquet. She examined every picture and product under a figurative microscope to a degree that probably sent every vendor to therapy after the event was over. This management style, known as “micro-managing,” is defined by a petty approach to managing every detail of one’s business. Imagine Donald Trump checking the copier every day to see how much toner is left… that’s micro-managing.
So, how do detail oriented couples get past the urge to micro-manage?
Start with a list. Prioritize everything that you, as a couple, find important and sign it. Use that list to avoid future arguments and make sure you both have your list at all times. This way you can say “Hey, that’s not on the list – so let’s not worry too much about it.”
Divert attention. Keeping yourself otherwise occupied will remind you that you are not defined by this event. Making it a priority and letting it consume all aspects of your life are two entirely different things.
Delegate. If someone offers to do something for you, let them do it. Pick up color samples, drop off a deposit check, place stamps on the invitation envelopes…. these are things that can be done by any responsible person. Responsible is the key word.
Hire professionals. Hiring reliable, trustworthy professionals to do the work will alleviate a lot of stress. A certified wedding planner will look after every detail so you don’t have to. They have established relationships within the industry, they can find deals, shortcuts and have experience with common mistakes. Using a wedding planner will cut your urge to micro-manage in half.
The one detail you can and should manage is to always check references. Never use a vendor that has no portfolio or client testimonials. Don’t settle for what they have listed on their website or in a brochure, you need to do some legwork; talk to clients, check with the BBB and other resources.
If you remember your priorities, trust each other and hire reliable vendors, there will be no need to spend every waking hour filling your appointment book with trivial, time-consuming, meaningless tasks.
-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago