Tag Archives: wedding budget

Giving Away The Bride – Who’s In, Who’s Out?

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It is a well known fact that it is the responsibility (and honor) of the bride’s father to walk the bride down the aisle, presenting her at the altar to her future husband, and then later sharing a dance.   In some cases, both parents walk the bride down the aisle and in other cases she walks alone and rare cases where two grown men come together and share this responsibility equally, and of course cases where the mother walks the bride solo. In 2012 you have all sorts of combinations and none of them is right or wrong.  This is one of those ever-changing customs that seems to get more complicated every day. 

To offer a little help if you are trying to decide who should do the honor, ask yourself the following questions:

Who is paying for the wedding? If your stepfather is paying for the wedding 100%, he should be given the place of honor at your side, right? Maybe.  That is unless, of course, he had absolutely no hand in raising you, barely knows you, recently married your mother and you never lived under the same roof with you, he is not exactly a parental figure – yet.

Who raised you? If your father raised you, cared for you, packed your school lunches and drove carpool to dance class, he should be given the place of honor at your side even if he doesn’t have one dime to contribute toward your dream wedding, right? Maybe.  Blood is thicker than water and family is more important than money. However, your stepfather ( and mother)  may have some trouble swallowing the idea of paying for everything and receiving no end credit.

Is there even a father  figure in your life? If your father is deceased or absent from your life and your mother raised you single-handedly, she has every right to be at your side… just the two of you. If she declines (and she might) , ask a favorite uncle or a brother.  

Does everyone get along? If so, have this conversation in a group and include his family as well. Keeping the lines of communication open will make planning much easier. For instance; your parents are divorced and both remarried. If everyone gets along swimmingly and you want to have an honest discussion about who is paying for what and who has what role in the wedding this – do it. It will save tons of time and drama later. Even if you are all on great terms this might be a touchy subject and hurt feelings could turn into a huge family debacle if left unchecked. Always be respectful of the role your parents have played in your life up to this point – it is not all about the wedding. The point is to be inclusive and not exclusive.

Can anyone even be in the same room?If you have the unfortunate circumstance of having suffered through a bitter divorce, subsequent re-marriages of your parents to other people and extremely hostile family relations – buckle up…this is going to be a bumpy ride! Hold on tight to your fiance’s hand and get through this however you can. My advice is to  delegate the dad responsibilities with whomever you feel is the most deserving and responsible and be prepared for the repercussions.  Of course this is more complicated than a simple decision but go back to questions #1 and#2 and decide who played the most important role in your life. Do not let anyone hold you hostage by threatening to boycott the nuptials if they don’t get their way, this is your decision (as a couple) and there is no going back once the decision is made.

It is important to make this decision early since the wording on the invitation can be complicated with fractured and blended families. If  parents and stepparents are all assisting financially with the wedding, their names should be on the invitation.  This is can be tricky so ask your invitation specialist to help you with the wording before you make a costly mistake.

For the Father/Daughter dance you can dance with both dads during the course of the song, changing partners after an allotted time, you can dance with one father ‘figure’ or you can omit this routine entirely. No one says it has to be a part of your wedding. Discuss this with your DJ.

The absolute worst thing that can happen at your wedding is to let any of these small situations get out of control. Unless you are one of the rare families that get along famously and never argue, you will have some sort of struggle on your hands. Close your eyes, envision the outcome you desire and  when you open your eyes take whatever steps necessary to make that happen without hurting anyone’s feelings or stepping on anyone’s toes. That means at no point in the conversation are you allowed to say “It’s my day”  since that expression is a tad over-used and completely self-induglent. You have to be respectful and make your point without becoming  a martyr or spoiled brat.

Remember that if you have the luxury of having parents or multiple parents, count your blessings, even if they don’t love each other as much as you would like, they most certainly love you and will most likely do whatver it takes to ensure your wedding is a joyous occasion.

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

Southern Wedding Belles

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The recent news of the engagement of two-time Grammy winner and American Idol alumni Kelly Clarkson to Nashville talent manager Brandon Blackstock got our creative juices flowing, imagining what kind of wedding this “Southern  Belle” might have in mind!

 

For the rest of the world who does not live in the Southern part of the United States, there are very distinct differences between South Carolina Style, Kentucky Style, Louisiana Style and  Texas Style. So, the fact that Ms. Clarkson hails from Texas and has planted her roots in Tennessee poses a ‘Southern Style’ challenge. However, there are some must -haves for any true Southern Wedding:

It’s all about the family. Expect to see cousins, kids, aunts, uncles and  relatives from every corner of the globe – even Yankees! The more the merrier, Southern weddings are known for being large and friendly so, when it comes to family; there is always room for more.

Grooms Cake. A groom’s cake  presents an opportunity for the bride to get creative & really WOW her groom. Since so much of the wedding is about the bride & her style, this is a great way to honor the most important man in the room.This tradition has really been embraced by people across the globe.

 

Beverages. Southern brides love to honor their heritage, & the quintessential beverages of the South are the great way to do so. From mint juleps & neat bourbon to sweet tea & Coca-Cola, there’s a Southern beverage to quench the thirst of young & old wedding guests alike.

Charming Accents. Glowing votives, floating magnolias, mason jars, old fashioned lanterns, parasols; all touches that remind you of a simpler era are abundant. Think of timeless elements that would work as easily in 2012 as they would have in 1954.

southern & traditions1's Wedding in Charleston

Most of all, the Southern culture is steeped in beauty, elegance, and grace. Whether your wedding is Sweet Home Alabama or Sweet Home Chicago, you can always incorporate some of these elements to make your celebration ooze with Southern Hospitality.

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

Short Lashes? No Problem!

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Not so long ago women had very few choices if they wanted their eyelashes to look thicker and longer. You went to the store, bought a set of false eyelashes and eyelash glue and went home to stick them onto your lids for whatever special occasion you decide you needed them.  Most of us hate the way they feel, even when they are applied by a professional,  and after a few hours cannot wait to get them off.

Now, there are other choices. There are , temporary, short term  and long term solutions.  Yes, you can now have longer lashes if you are willing to spend a little money and make some concessions.

First of all, the life cycle of a single eyelash is 90 days (give or take) They grow just like other hair but only to a certain length and about halfway through the cycle have stopped growing and are already preparing to fall out. Any damage done to your eyelashes today will last about three months.

Temporary :

Professional application of individual artificial lashes can take up to one  hour and costs around $90 but it is far more comfortable than the lash strips. Unfortunately,  they will only last one application. Try them out and see how they feel. If you are only interested in having long lashes for this one day and they feel fine, this might be the solution.

Short Term: 

Lash Dipping – Invented by two Chicago aestheticians who decided that lashes should be easy and carefree, not applying mascara every day, two or more times. It is about a two hour process, costs up to $200 and lasts about 6 weeks. But during that six weeks  your lashes will look like you are wearing mascara the whole time and will be noticeably fuller as well! You will need to schedule touch ups every two weeks.

Lash Extensions – take about two hours but can cost anywhere from $200 -$600 not to mention the $90 touch-ups every two weeks. They last about 6-8 weeks but can last up to 3 months. They will fall out just like your other lashes, so look for them on your washcloth! There is no damage to the lash itself as they are placed on lashes that are about 1/2 way through their life cycle. There are several types of lash hair available and the cost is based on the actual material and amount of lashes. This is the choice of many celebrities- so, don’t believe it when they say the lashes are theirs, nobody has lashes this long on the lower lid, not even Elizabeth Taylor who had two full sets of eyelashes on top and bottom.

Long Term:

Latisse – Brought to you by the manufacturer of Botox, the cost of this product is relatively low considering it’s proven effects. For about $120 you will get a 16 week supply and you are almost certain to see results. First used to treat Glaucoma patients, physicians and patients noted a 25% increase in length and fullness in addition to an 18% increase in darkness of their lashes after a 16 week treatment.  The effects are temporary and you will see the decrease when you discontinue use.  There are few side effects and the percentage of users who experience discomfort is marginal.

THE BUZZKILL? If you do not go to a properly trained eyelash technician or do not apply the Latisse according to directions, you risk mild to serious eye damage. Cysts, irritation, blocked tear ducts and more. Make sure the area is clean, all tools are clean and as always, this is not something you  try the day before your wedding.

PLAN AHEAD. If you are planning any lash treatment, start about 6 months before your wedding and this will give your lashes time to grow and re-grow in case you have some kind of reaction to any one of these methods.

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

Adding Up The Add-ons: The Dangers of Hidden Fees

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When you plan your wedding budget there are dozens of factors that can increase your costs and before you know it, your $30,000 budget is now $10,000 over.  Not planning for extras and add-ons can put you into a deficit quicker than you think.

1) Remember to take your time into consideration. For instance, if you will have to take time off from work to handle fittings, tastings or sign contracts and will not get paid for the time off; you have just ‘spent’ money by not earning it.

2) When looking online at pricing, the numbers can be deceiving. $35 per person sounds like a great price for a reception until you realize that doesn’t include an entree, a napkin or a fork. Make sure the price is for a complete meal.

3) One of the biggest costs is for alcohol, so some couples try to sidestep this  and be thrifty by providing their own alcohol and bartender (an option at some reception venues). This will save you very little money. Between corkage fees and the retail costs of alcohol, you would be wiser to offer an open bar and not use top shelf  liquor… or limit it to just wine and beer.

4) When buying your wedding gown, ask about the cost of alterations up front. Just as the salon will make you sign a contract agreeing  to purchase the gown, pay the 1/2 deposit and the balance when the gown arrives – you should require the salon to give you an alterations quote in writing. A good place for this is on your receipt.  Expert alterations can cost hundreds of dollars.

5) The cake is another quagmire. Having a wedding cake large enough to slice off a piece for 200 guests is costly and can be difficult to maneuver. Consider having a smaller (more manageable) wedding cake for the cake cutting and having your baker make sheet cakes of the same exact cake and frosting  to serve to guests.

6) Speaking of cake, check  this out: Cake cutting fees can be as much as $3.50 per slice.  This is just the fee that the reception site charges to cut your cake, put it on a plate and serve it. Add this onto the cost of the cake and you could increase the cake budget by 50% or more. Consider the options of mini cakes or cupcakes to serve to guests. Cupcake bakeries are super chic right now so why not get in on the fun?

7) Service professionals often rely on tips. If it is not added into your total automatically,  make sure you allow for this at the end of the event.

Overall it is estimated that individual wedding costs increase by 25% from the original quote. In order to avoid this happeneing to you… don’t forget to factor tax, tips, add-ons and fees into your budget and make sure you get everything in writing!

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

 

 

 

 

 

Fashionably Warm Brides – Winter Is Coming

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Winters in Chicago can be brutal and most wedding gowns are bare on top. Even if there is a lace bodice and sleeve, there is no way to stay warm unless you wear a coat. Instead of ruining a  beautiful wedding gown look with a down parka, this is an opportunity to make a really bold fashion statement with a Bridal Coat, Cape or Jacket. Oddly enough, most salons don’t carry bridal coats and most designers focus on the gown so much, they forget the shivering masses.

If you can’t find a wedding coat that suits you, don’t despair – there are options available. The reality is that your legs will probably stay warm with petticoats, stockings and the gown over all of it. Focus on your arms and chest area and remember that the fabric will play an important role in your warmth. Satin gloves and capes are beautiful in photos but, do little to keep you warm. Wool, velvet, cashmere, angora, and faux fur will be comfortable, warm and stylish!

Consider a faux fur jacket like this one from DKNY

Or if the weather is not severely cold, maybe a bolero will work. Remember Kate Middleton? Her simple Angora bolero kept her warm and fuzzy in chilly ( but not freezing) temperatures.

Capes are good, if you can find one. Unfortunately they are few and far between.  A good place to start would be Etsy, where there are some very stylish capes available.

1940s Hollywood Glamour White Cape w/ Fur Mink Tails

 Don’t forget the gloves. Fuzzy, knit gloves in many colors can also help the bridesmaids look and feel great!   

It has been said that ‘Beauty is Pain’. However, the truth is that pain is unnecessary and beauty actually is “In the eye of the beholder”. Find something that you love, that keeps you warm and you will be able to enjoy your wedding day in style.

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

Politically Friendly Weddings

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Supposedly, there are two things you don’t discuss at family gatherings; politics and religion. In truth, putting politics aside for one night might not be an option when the bride is a blue-dog-Democrat and the groom is a dyed-in-the-wool  Republican….and we are three days away from a major (presidential) election!

Given the current political climate where so many unflattering distinctions are made between left and right, red state and blue state, conservative and liberal, it is kind of fun to peek into how bipartisan couples make their celebrations come together without tearing them apart.

So how does a couple of differing political backgrounds and views put their differences aside for a night of revelry? It is a lot easier than you think.

Spotlight –Bring it out in the open. Without condescension or trivialization, openly address the situation. Have a  Election-themed affair with Donkey and Elephant favors at each table. Instead of numbering the tables, name them after your favorite politicians  of each party and mix it up. Put Republicans at the Clinton table and Democrats at the Reagan table. If you really want to have some fun,  how about large cut-outs of current and former candidates and let guests take photos with them…. just like on the street corners in Washington DC.

Seating Chart – As nice as it is to think that everyone will put their differences aside for one night, they won’t. Think about this when doing your seating chart. Unfortunately this means more work for the couple but, it will be worth it to make sure Aunt Sarah doesn’t go off on a Social Security rant to one of your dearest friends. We all have that one relative or friend who thinks their opinion matters more than everyone else… and they think they are much smarter, as well. Put them where they will cause the least damage!

Edit – Ask anyone giving toast or speeches to make sure they keep it light and fun. This is a great time to jab but, no name calling. Remember that humor goes along way… think of the White House correspondent’s dinner. If you have any doubts, ask an impartial (third party, if you will) person to take a look at what your speakers have to say.

Discuss –Talk to both of your families as a couple, at the same time if possible. Sit them down and tell them that you would like for them to behave for one evening and leave the Obama-care discussions for later. Explain  that they have a lifetime to blame Bush (or Clinton) for the current economic debacle but for tonight they need to check all snyde comments and opinions at the door.

Change –Don’t try to change everyone’s opinion to suit yours. Don’t marry someone thinking you will change their political views and don’t presume that your family will change theirs  either. Accept the differences and move on.

Topics to avoid are healthcare, immigration, and scandal, as each party is equally prone to having skeletons in their closet. For every John Edwards there is an Arnold Schwarzenegger so be careful when opening that door as it is not an easy one to close.

 There are many couples of opposite political views who make it work nicely without sacrificing their opinions. James Carville and Mary Matalin are two of the most opinionated political advisors of different parties and they have had a very successful marriage.

Now, if  politicians could only learn to play nice, we might get something done.  Maybe we should ask Mitt Romney and Barack Obama to plan an entire wedding……. without the help of their wives!

Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

Horror Stories – Wedding Style

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For most people, planning any event  can bring on nightmares of showing up in your underwear and all kinds of other things that probably won’t happen.  When planning a wedding, this can easily be magnified by the size of the event and level of stress you are able to handle. And if your imagination is vivid enough you will imagine fires being set by candles, gobs of food staining your bridal gown, the groom passing out, and some other equally horrific events. The truth is that some of your worst nightmares can come true if you don’t plan ahead.

ZOMBIE BRIDE – Not getting enough sleep, dirnking too much alcohol or caffeine or Red Bull can temporarily affect the way you look. To avoid dark circles, use the days leading up to your wedding to relax and implement healthier eating.

TEXAS CHAINSAW BRIDE – This is not the day to do a complete makeover. You want to look like a very pretty version of yourself, not a over-processed, over made-up, over-the-top version of yourself. If you look into the mirror and don’t think you look like yourself, you might want to tone it down a bit – leave the big hair to the Texas beauty pageants.

JACK O’ LANTERN BRIDE – Spray tans and self tans can turn out the be the wrong color for your skin and there is very little you can do to fix it at the last minute. Don’t experiment with a new bronzer on the day of your wedding, either. Orange is perfect for Pumpkins but not so much for bridal photos.

BRIDE OF DRACULA  – What makes a great photo? A great smile! Even Dracula knows that yellow teeth can ruin the best outfit. 

DISAPPEARING BRIDE – To be early is to be on time, to be on time is to be late. Plan ahead, traffic and construction can give you a migraine on the day of your event!

No matter what your worst nightmare may be, planning ahead and attending one of our Luxury  Bridal Expos will help you avoid the horrors of wedding planning.

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

 

 

 

 

Modern Cinderella – It’s All About The Shoe

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If you missed it, Disney just re-released Cinderella on Blu-ray DVD.  This quintessential fairy tale originally brought to life by Walt Disney in 1950 is more popular than ever… not so much because women are looking for the perfect man to rescue them from their humdrum lives but,  because the modern Cinderella continues the quest for the perfect shoe!!!

Even better, Disney partnered with shoe design guru, Christian Louboutin to bring the famed glass slipper to life. The Louboutin version is made of netting instead of glass for obvious reasons but the sparkling Swarovski crystals remind you of the delicate and reflective nature of glass. You will have a hard time finding them since there are only 20 pair of these remarkable shoes being made and are being ‘given away’ in various Disney promotions around the globe.

As if that is not enough,  Christian Louboutin (himself) makes his acting debut in a short film entitled “The Magic of the Glass Slipper: A Cinderella Story ” which is a bonus feature on the recent re-released DVD. The story is cute, sweet, simple and very short. I won’t spoil it but, you can watch it here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LRbsTwBHMTo

Congratulations Mr. Louboutin for a job well done, Walt Disney himself would be proud!

Feeling like Cinderella and can’t find the right sparkly shoe to fit your budget or your sole? Princess Bridal Shoes can turn just about any ordinary shoe into a show stopper!

 

 

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago