Bridal Expo

The Grammys are always so much fun to watch because musicians  seem to have so much fun with their fashions…. they don’t hold back – they have such a flair!!  Last night was a tad more high brow ( no one showed up in meat or laid an egg) but, rest assured there plenty of red carpet hits and misses!

Starting with the worst of the worst

10) Jennifer Lopez – Everything about this dress by Anthony Vaccarello is wrong, the slit, the fit and the overall boringness of the “I have to expose myself to be relevant” mentality. 

9) Adele wearing  floral draperies. This is a common mistake; your dress does not have to match your shoes excatly. She would have been better off picking one bright color to go with the floral shoe!

Kelly Clarkson wins big in the singing department but, unfortunately is a huge fashion fail. It seemed like a safe choice, a non-descript little black dress but, this one is not the right one. Blah and ill-fitting. Kelly has so much going on for her in the talent department,  but, girl needs some fashion advice…  badly!

7) Lisa D’Amato in a really strange dress fit for a hoe-down.I can’t stop humming Entrance of The Gladiators. I’ll wait while you google it…..

6)Florence Welch vs. Godzilla. Wearing a green sequined Givenchy gown is a great idea, unless it has spikes made of _______!  What?

5) Kimbra in Jaime Lee Major. In many ways , I think this dress is adorable…. Fun, sparkly, silly, youthful  and just a little of this and that. But, the color combination is all wrong. Seriously….. it’s the Grammys – don’t be shy!

4) Kelly Rowland in this unbelievably well-fitting and show-stopping gown by Georges Chakra.

3) Katie Perry is all grown up and very sophisticated in this beautiful Gucci gown. Top to bottom perfection.

2) Justin Timberlake has never looked better than in this Tom Ford suit.

1) Rihanna  is RED HOT, sheer perfection in Azzedine Alaia. It doesn’t get any better than this!

There was a pall cast over the Grammys as the superstars of music gathered to celebrate their success and to mourn the death of one of the Grammy greats, the late Whitney Houston. It was hard to be excited and impossible to think of anything else, even the red carpet seemed somber, as if every artist was respectful of the delicate balance between life and death, fame and fortune. It was a lovely  (last minute) tribute to one of the most memorable voices of my lifetime.

The atmosphere picked up as the attendees and honorees began to arrive. The 360 cam ( one of my favorite pieces of technology and another which I barely understand) was fired up and the red carpet show was underway!  The fashions this year were particularly underwhelming, except for a few stand-outs and it was hard to find anything worth really talking about.

The amazing Adele kept it simple in a black beaded Armani gown, a little too simple. Although her  hair & makeup was A+, and the three quarter sleeve was nice,  I found it otherwise completely  boring.  You are spectacular and  no matter what Karl Lagerfeld says – size isn’t everything!

 Carrie Underwood wore an all-over sequined gown by Gomez-Garcia…. snooze.

 Katy Perry’s blue hair looked great with the color of this gown but, the Elie Saab couture gown bordered on frumpy. Sloped shoulders, the odd bra-less bustline, and the fabric that looked like a 3rd grade art project made of popcorn and sequins.

Fergie looked ridiculous in Jean Paul Gaultier. Maybe if the undergarments had been the same color, maybe if the outer layer hadn’t been international orange, I don’t have the answer.

Rihanna was off the charts spectacular in this gown she designed with the help of Georgio Armani. The right accessories in all the right places didn’t hurt one bit, either. The plain gold made this simple gown an elegant knockout!

 Cyndi Lauper looked more like her old ‘unusual’ self than she has in a long time. I loved it! She was funky, a bit older but funky. She is odd, over-done and looks like she stepped out of a Tim Burton movie – but it works for her, time after time!

 Robyn, you must have a lot of nerve to wear this monstrosity to the Grammys. A lot of nerve and really, really bad taste. There is just nothing favorable about this white satin mullet dress…. nothing. I don’t see any designers stepping up to take credit so I will assume that it was a bad Home Ec project.

 Kelly Osbourne’s sparkly gown by Tony Ward was gorgeous! LOVED this dress; the fit, the Grecian-inspired one shoulder and side drape. She should have changed her hair color since this was the only thing that clashed. Keep it pastel if you want, just not that shade.

 The Grammys were a fitting tribute to Whitney Houston, a glamorous affair that she once dominated. Her presence was felt at the Staples Center last night as  her music played, when Jennifer Hudson gave a moving tribute, and as musical talents across the board gave their heartfelt condolences and paused to appreciate a life cut short. Remembering Whitney at her finest:

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

My husband is the greatest person in the world and still not everyone likes him. Hard to believe, right? Fortunately for me, all of my friends recognize his positive qualities and vice verse. Although that seems rather inconsequential, it is actually quite monumental and something I do not take lightly. I am blessed.

Oddly enough, this happens more often than you can imagine. Even more odd is the fact that it is usually the maid of honor or the best man,  so it is not just a friend it is your best friend, your BFF, your childhood chum or the keeper of your secrets  that cannot seem to be in the same room with your betrothed without a fight breaking out.

So what do you do when your friend and fiance do not get along? Can you ask her (or him) to be a part of a wedding they do not endorse? How do you avoid getting in the middle of their seemingly endless arguments about nothing? More importantly how do you avoid having  mugshots as your weddings photos?

1) Talk it out. Find a time when you can sit down with each of them apart and ask point blank if there is any reason for the disharmony. Be prepared to get an answer you don’t want to hear. Worst case scenario – she thinks he is cheating or he thinks she is stealing from your bank account…. I said worst-case didn’t I? Imagine the worst and hope for the best. If there is no concrete reason, ask each one to give the other a second chance. They may have gotten off to a rocky start but the fence can sometimes be mended.

2) Work it out. Find an activity that you like to do and invite each of them. Movie, sporting event, anything where you can avoid the tension…. how about a game of laser tag? Getting them to have fun together might just make them see  how wrong they have been and they might be willing to make a fresh start.

3) Be sensitive. Perhaps your friend is simply tired of being the third wheel and has no interest in attending all sorts of couples functions with you (as a couple). Try to keep your friend from feeling the pangs of jealousy by spending alone time and not insisting that they always be in tow. If that friend is in a relationship, work on a group relationship. Be prepared if your fiance and his or her partner don’t become besties …you are just looking for an occasional double date and a way to take the edge off.

If you have tried and tried but they continue to put you in the middle, you will have to make a difficult decision. The fact is that if you fully intend to marry the person of whom your friend so strongly disapproves, you will be fighting this battle for the rest of your life. The polite thing to do is to to explain to the friend that he/she cannot be in your wedding because there is too much turmoil  between her and your fiance. “While you are my best friend, I cannot endure any more tug of war between you & ______. So I am asking you to remain my  friend in life and  a guest at my wedding.” The other option is to bury your head in the sand through the entire wedding process and ignore the squabbles.

If your friend is offended by the mere suggestion that he or she opt out of standing up for your wedding, gently remind them that attendants are supposed to serve not only as witnesses, but uphold and support this marriage. If you are the friend in this case, why would you even want to be a part of something you don’t condone?

This entire discussion could quite possible put an early end to your friendship but it will also ease a lot of suffering for everyone. Realistically,  as time passes and your marriage grows stronger, your friendship will dissolve on it’s own.

On the other hand, as time does pass, people change. It is not a bad idea to keep an open mind but, for God’s sake -don’t torture yourself by putting yourself in the middle for too long.  NEVER complain to an unsupportive friend about a  future spouse that they don’t like to begin with – it is a recipe for disaster and confrontation.

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

In today’s world of 24/7 media where everyone is plugged in, connected and online,  it seems like announcing your engagement would be a snap. However, there is some protocol involved and some surprisingly easy ways to breech etiquette.  In fact it is harder now than it was 50 years ago when the only outlet, other than word of mouth, was a formal engagement announcement in the newspaper. You know, those papers that show up on your door every day that have stories … just like the internet.

The first people you should tell are those closest to you ; your parents, siblings, grandparents and children if either of you have them. Telling them in person is nice if you’re able, otherwise a phone call is perfectly acceptable. but, it should be soon and very personal. Emailing is not personal, neither is having them find out by seeing your relationship status has changed on facebook. Make a list and keep track of who you have spoken to. Leave a message like, “I’ve got some great news” so they know that you called.

The next tier of communication goes to close friends and (non-immediate family) relatives. It is best to to call them if you can but, this may not be practical. It is perfectly acceptable to text or email but it must be a personal message and not a bulk one delivered to multiple addresses. Take the time to write each person a polite note letting them know you are engaged and you will keep them informed of further details if they wish.

After you have let all of the above people know, you are finally ready to announce to the world that you are engaged! 

Newspaper- Everyone is welcome to submit an engagement announcement in the newspaper. Generally, though, this type of announcement is used when the couple is of a certain social, celebrity, economic or  political status. Your newspaper should have guidelines to follow and you can also include the (formal) engagement photo.

Party - Having an engagement party is the most fun way to let a large group of people know at the same time. There are only a couple of points to ponder: do not invite anyone to the party that will not be invited to the wedding and try not to do it at another event,  (wedding, birthday, baby shower, etc) so you will not upstage someone else.

Internet- Posting a relationship status change on facebook will definitely garner some congratulations and other well wishes. You can also create a wedding website which can include stories from loved ones, photos and even a blog. Invited guests can use this site to get updates on the wedding.

Mail- Sending formal engagement announcements through the postal mail is the most traditional way of announcing an engagement but, keep in mind that no one (NO ONE) should get an engagement announcement unless they will definitely be invited to the wedding.  You can include the wedding date on the announcement which will serve as a save-the-date card. You can NOT include any information about where you are registered for gifts.

Whether you go high-tech or old school is entirely up to you, just remember no matter how great the temptation to run in the streets screaming or shout it from the rooftops, take your time and do things right - you won’t regret it.

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

 Unlike some future grooms, my husband helped with a lot of the wedding planning. He picked the menu, the cake, the venue and he singelhandedly documented receipt of the reply cards. Every day he hurried to he mailbox to collect the replies and took great delight in making the necessary notations on the master list. I could tell when the cards began to dwindle because he started to walk a little slower to the mailbox. For us, the reply cards were an exhilarating experience, and eventually an exhausting one, since not everyone replied in a timely manner, replied appropriately or replied at all. Believe it or not, the reply card is fraught with  places for guests to make errors and faux pas and for some reason, this is where guests make the majority of blunders. Your part is simple: You address the invitation to the person(s) you are inviting and make sure that you have a place on the reply card for the number of invited guests. So, what do you do when it all goes awry despite your best plans and intentions?

-When you sent a reply card that is obviously intended for the invited guest +1 and the invited guest returns the card, adding +2 or more without having previously discussed this with you, including adding their own children without your approval or acceptance of the idea, it is time to pick up the phone. Simply tell the guest that their invitation is intended for them and one guest only and leave it at that. There are exceptions but, those exceptions are totally up to you. What if they show up with the +2 or more, anyway…? You have to be prepared how to handle this, just in case.

-When you have received no reply card and it’s one week before the wedding? Time to pick up the phone and make a call to this guest and ask if they will be attending. Be specific about the reason you are calling; so you can ensure all of your guests have a place to sit and a proper meal.

As for those who reply, “YES” and then don’t show, there must be a very good reason. Of course you don’t expect  someone with a serious illness or broken leg to jump out of a hospital bed to attend your wedding but, wait until after the wedding to then call and see if they are doing better. Don’t wait for them to call you, they won’t.  They will probably feel you are too busy to talk and will wait for action on your part. This is not a snub or lack of concern, and this is one of those tiny little things that can ruin a lifelong friendship. Pick up the phone, call and see what happened. You are the only person who can decide if their reason for being a no-show was adequate.

-What if the reply is “NO” and they show up anyway? This is tricky. Speak to someone at the venue and see if there is a place they can be seated (there is usually some wiggle room) Of course they won’t have an assigned table or a place card or a favor but, they will be able to sit and that is all that matters. If there really is no room, you will have to be the one to deliver the news as gently as possible. I know firsthand how difficult this can be, I actually had a couple show up after having replied “NO” and there were no additional seats available anywhere in the room. Our solution was to ask them to sit at the bar and we paid  ’a la carte’ for two additional meals. Tricky but not unmanageable.

There may be no single solution that works for everyone but, planning ahead will avoid hurt feelings and possible blowups. Consider posting information regarding seating on your wedding website if you have one, emailing people who you think may be having trouble with the reply card concept and possibly having specific instructions printed on the reply card. Some couples have resorted to adding “We have reserved ___ seats for you”  (or similar text) to the reply card. In my opinion, keep it simple and limit the possiblities of error. Although going above and beyond is a nice gesture,  I doubt if some people will even notice.

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago