If you are counting, there are only 364 days left until Mothers Day. Mothers Day is a time for reflection, a time to celebrate the role your mother has played in your life, a time for celebration. Its also a perfect time to look at the mother’s role on your wedding day.
The mother of the bride is the second most stressed and scrutinized woman of the day. A great mom shoulders the responsibility of not only making sure that her daughter’s needs are fulfilled but also making sure that every single detail is executed with medical precision without being a ‘stage mother’. She has to be in the spotlight and yet invisible. Very tough. Remember – it’s always the mom’s fault, and she knows it. “Your daughter’s wedding was __________ (insert good or bad comment here)” will either haunt or comfort her for the rest of her life.
The mother of the groom has an equally tough job considering the ramifications of being too involved versus being apathetic. The groom’s mother is supposed to also be supportive, invisible and never, never, never undermine the bride.She DOES NOT offer too much advice or ask too many questions or even attempt to change one single detail of the wedding without her future daughter-in-law’s expressed premission. That’s a tightrope I am not looking forward to walking!
A Mother’s checklist: ( mother of bride OR groom)
-Offer to pay for whatever you can
-Always let the mother of the bride select her gown first. ALWAYS.
-Always let the bride make the decisions. This is not your wedding!
-Be available for fittings, tastings or samplings of any kind.
-Don’t get offended if you aren’t asked to do something.
-Never criticize the bride to the groom (especially if he is your son).
-Communication is critical.
-Be open to new possiblities, maybe their way is the best way!
-Remember that this is not your wedding.
-Always be supportive, be ready to handle the tears and drama.
- Know when to back off.
Most importantly, as a mother you have to understand that this is the beginning of letting go. If handled properly, you will gain more than you could ever imagine. If it things ever get heated, ask yourself which would you rather have, a few minutes of ”Me Time” or a lifetime of being loved?
Happy Mother’s Day to all!
-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago