Bridal Expo

Etiquette is one of those elusive things that seem to escape some people, one of those things you don’t really think about until  you’re in the “10 items or less” line behind someone with a full cart of groceries, or you are waiting (patiently) behind someone who is talking on their cell phone during a really short left arrow green light, or when someone is talking really loud in a movie. It isn’t until a social event like a wedding or funeral, where things are quiet and you have time to reflect, that these infractions of common manners become so imposing.

Cell Phones are the worst culprit in modern times. Texting, talking and (God forbid) playing games on your phone during a wedding is rude, don’t do it. Unless you are expecting an urgent call, you don’t even need your cell phone during the wedding…. leave it in the car. If you do need your cell phone with you, turn the ringer off and carry it in your pocket, when the urgent call comes through excuse yourself and go outside where you can converse without interrupting  everything. There is nothing more annoying than trying to carry on a conversation or eat dinner with someone who is glued to their cell phone.

Chewing Gum  is another no – no. Altoids, Tic-Tacs, Mentos work very well for a case of stale breath. Chewing gum in church ( or other place of worship), in the receiving line, giving a toast or dancing is tacky.  The worst part is when people forget they are chewing gum and it shows up in a picture…. YIKES!

Dressing appropriately is hard for some people so, this is a tricky one. I sat behind a man in a hoodie at a funeral this week and couldn’t stop staring at his bright red fleece garment the entire time, thinking to myself,  ”Is that all you’ve got?” It was distracting to say the least. Giving him the benefit of the doubt, it is likely that he may have slipped out of work to be at this somber event and I know deep down that he had a really good reason for being inappropriately dressed. You don’t have to wear a pricey designer suits or gowns to be well-dressed. Too much cleavage, not enough skirt, anything denim are all good indicators that you need a wardrobe intervention. If you are unsure about what to wear, take a closer look at the invitation and it should tell you everything you need to know, if you are still stuck, call a wedding professional like a photographer or florist who has been to dozens of these events and they will be able to guide you.

Gossip is also a touchy subject. Asking questions about the cost of the gown, reception, gifts or anything wedding related is tacky, speculating on whether or not the marriage will last is morbid, and the most glaring offense of all is wondering (out loud) if the bride is pregnant. Unless the couple has announced that they are expecting, leave that commentary for another time. Basically, you are there to lend your support, not to openly critique every detail of the wedding. Save that for late , or not at all.

Let’s face it – you can’t legislate good manners. You can’t expect everyone to behave, dress, speak or act properly at all times. All you can do is lead by example and cross your fingers that they all follow your lead. By the time a person is an adult, they should know these few common rules of etiquette and if they don’t – there is nothing you can do to help them. Your best bet when faced with these offenses is to smile and politely excuse yourself from the situation. You will laugh about it later…. or not.

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

Although the spelling is very close, ‘Angry Brides’ are quite different from the wingless birds of the game variety. They are both of varying sizes, they are both on a mission  to accomplish their task. Fortunately, there are no brides ( no matter how angry) that explode upon contact. So, as a guest, how can you avoid being the giant pig in a hard hat? Here are the top six things that can really get under a bride’s skin:

1) RSVP. The reply card should already have a stamp so, send it as early as possible and don’t make any changes like adding a guest when one is not invited… and don’t change it after the RSVP date or (God forbid) just show up. How hard is that? Do that for every wedding related event and you will be just fine.

2) Put a card on the gift. If the gift has no card, how is the couple supposed to know who it is from? To be safe, always enclose a small card inside the wrapped gift. If it is being sent directly from a website or store, bring a card to the reception that indicates a gift was already sent. “Best Wishes on your wedding, I (we) hope you enjoy the ________ that was sent previously from ________”. This way the bride and groom know a gift was sent, where it came from and if it didn’t arrive, they can let you know.

3) Don’t inundate the bride with tons of questions about the wedding. Cost, number of guests, what kind of flowers, location, date, ring, gown, etc. Most brides are very excited to talk about their wedding but, asking too many questions all the time may seem intrusive and is downright rude. Furthermore, the cost of things is no one’s business unless the couple  publicizes it and then it is equally tacky.

4) Don’t show up late or not at all. Whether you are a vendor, a bridesmaid or a friend; showing up late, missing important appointments and forgetting wedding related events is out of the question. If you have a problem attending, let the bride know as soon as you get the invitation, not ten minutes before. See #1.

5) Don’t ask to alter the menu. If you have severe food allergies, inform the bride right away so concessions can be made on the menu, or decline the invitation. However, be prepared with an epi-pen just in case, since no matter how hard you try, mistakes can happen. Some allergies are severe enough to be triggered by the smell of the peanuts, it’s better to be safe than sorry. Keep in mind – food allergies are a lot different from food preferences. Your preferences are not the bride’s concern but, your health should be.

6) Becoming inebriated at the reception. Have a drink or two, unwind a little, have some fun – but, end it there. If your speech is slurred, it is time to stop drinking alcohol and go home.

As a guest, attendant or family member at a wedding you aren’t required to make sure every detail is executed flawlessy but, it is your job make sure your conduct is on point. Try to remember how much planning, expense and stress is involved and be mindful of your place in the wedding.

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

With the return of Mad Men to prime time, the hottest show on TV has inspired a 50′s revolution in fashion and decor which will probably show up in weddings later this year. Whether it is a bridal gown with a tightly cinched waist and full skirt, a full-blown martini bar, or hints of 1950′s style sprinkled throughout the entire wedding, the ’Nifty Fifties’  are upon us. If you have any doubts, pick up the latest issue of Newsweek, the entire magazine is devoted to ads and articles showcasing the retro style from cover to cover.

How can you get the look?

Makeup in the 1950′s was sophisticated and glamorous, simple and elegant. Strong eyebrows, neutral lids, and dark liner. As far as lipstick is concerned, you only have one choice: red. However, select a shade that compliments your skin tone so that you don’t wind up looking washed out. As always, if you use a makeup professional you hve a much better chance of acheiving the Audrey/Marilyn/Grace Kelly stlye.

Hair was softly curled and luxuriously smooth and with many hair types, this is not an easy task. A perfect 1950′s coiff would be a pompadour, rolled bangs or soft curls. Be aware that these styles take a great deal of time and really great products, allow for this when booking your hair appointment before the wedding.

Gowns were magnificent creations of lace and tulle. Full skirts with tiny waists, big veils, loads of detail and tea length gowns were the style. Choose a gown that accentuates the best of both you and the style of the decade. If you opt for a strapless gown, consider a bolero jacket or a shrug, each one were equally popular in the 1950′s.

Tuxedos have not changed drastically since the 1950′s but the difference is in the details. The ties were narrower, the shirts always pleated, the cummerbund was white or black  and the lapels were slimmer.  Straight leg pants, patent leather shoes and a spring in your step with complete the look. White dinner jackets weralso very  popular but, for the most formal occasion – tails were the norm.

To get the 50′s look, you don’t need to time travel….just tune in to Mad Men and pay close attention to the details!

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

You have lived in Chicago your whole life. You were raised on ‘the perfect’ hot dog, da Bulls, deep dish pizza and winters that normally last through a normal spring. You moved to Phoenix for business 5 years ago, met the man of your dreams and never looked back… or did you? When it comes time to tie the knot many brides and grooms decide to have a “Hometown Destination” wedding and there are many reasons why. Additionally, there is nothing that says the groom’s hometown is off limits any more, either.

Traditionally, couples got married in the bride’s hometown, her parents paid for the whole thing, the couple honeymooned and then went back to their lives as usual… wherever they lived. Well, it is 2012 not 1950, many couples plan and pay for their entire wedding and a large majority already live together before tying the knot. What does that mean? It means there are no rules that say where you MUST have your wedding.

Having your wedding in your hometown can be a lot of fun, spending the weekend re-visiting some of your favorite places, seeing family and friends you haven’t had a chance to connect with in years. It can also be very stressful with all that family around so, having a ‘hometown’ wedding is a very important decision.

Points to consider before making the decision:

Is there a lot of family that couldn’t travel in either direction?

Is it considerably less expensive to host the wedding in a hometown location?

Are there people who won’t attend if it is not local?

Is there a historic or special place you always dreamed of getting married near where you grew up?

Is it feasible for you to plan a wedding in another city/state without being there constantly to monitor things?

Are there local vendors that you trust to handle things without constant supervision?

Answering  any one of those questions honestly could be the deciding factor. The important thing is that you both agree that the place where your wedding is hosted is special and meaningful to both of you. If either of you has doubts, do some more research. As with any part of the wedding planning, you should always come to a middle ground where both parties are in 100% agreement to avoid arguing or blame later if something doesn’t go as planned.

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago