Bridal Expo

Imagine for a moment that you have been looking forward to your first meeting with  a particular florist, or  baker, or  wedding planner. You have done your research; called referrals, made sure they are accredited and have a good rating with the BBB. You make your appointment well in advance and then, suddenly, they cancel at the last minute. What do you do? Although I’m usually  in favor of giving everyone the benefit of the doubt, there are cases when a cancellation might be a red flag. 

If the vendor cancels because they have overbooked, you might have cause for concern.  This could mean there is a time management problem.

However, if the vendor cancels because another event had a legitimate crisis that had to be handled immediately, this says the vendor is as concerned with keeping their existing clients happy as they are booking new clients.

If the vendor cancels because of weather, health or personal family issues, we can all understand… these things happen. Of course, if it happens more than once, this could be someone who has a lot of drama in their life and it could be time to take a closer look at whether or not you  can handle their drama.

In essence, when a vendor cancels you need to use your best judgement to decide whether or not they deserve a second chance. If the reason is weak or there really is no reason,  you should begin your search for another vendor to replace them … someone who is able to keep appointments. This is especially true for a bridal or wedding consultant. You are hiring them to manage your entire wedding and this is no easy task – there must be total faith and trust.

The last thing you need to be doing on the day of your event is chasing vendors  or worrying if things will be done properly. 

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

The average number of attendants has risen  from 3 to 6 since the year 2000. Six bridesmaids is a lot to manage. Statistically, you will probably have at least one who is married, one who is pregnant, one who is difficult, one who is struggling financially, and one who has issues. In addition to planning the wedding you will also have to keep a watchful eye on bridesmaid gown orders, shoes and  and at the very least be aware of when the gowns arrive, the fittings, etc. You will have to be sensitive to each of them and at certain times flexible so keep that in mind when it seems like a good idea to have 8 bridesmaids. Ask yourself, “Do I have the patience to handle this ( x 6)?”

Of course, you may feel like you have no choice. The groom has a sister or two, you have a sister or two, there are a couple of BF’s and all of a sudden you are up to 8 of your dearest and closest friends. At this point, you must simply prioritize. 

#1 – Appoint a very reliable maid of honor, a  ‘Bridesmaid Manager’ of sorts and keep the lines of communication open. The MOH should be able to oversee all of the scheduling, act as a buffer (between you and the difficult one, anyway)  and communicate with everyone so there are no misunderstandings. Without her, you will be drowning in drama. Have a heart to heart talk and tell her your expectations and remind her that you are counting on her to help things go smoothly. If she flinches, you need to pick someone else.

#2- See #1

 You can have a many or as few as you like. One per 50-60 guests is a good guideline but it is not a hard and fast rule. The record? Jill Stapleton of Ohio had 110 bridesmaids at her wedding in June 2010. To be fair, you should not have more attendants than guests.

You can have an uneven number of bridesmaids.

You don’t need to have a groomsman for every bridesmaid.

They don’t have to wear the same dress, or the same color, or the same anything anymore. It is whatever you want it to be!

No matter how many bridesmaids you choose, the end result should be a happy experience. In this case, less might just turn out to be more enjoyable…. for everyone. 

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

A long time ago there was a very strict dress code for each and every event. Seriously, people got dressed up in suits to go to baseball games and ladies were in stockings and heels at the grocery store. Today, it seems, people have trouble knowing how to dress for dinner at a casual restaurant much less a wedding.  I see  people of all ages  wearing pajama pants in public and generally speaking, casual attire has gotten out of control. So when  my friend called me today and asked what she should wear to a wedding I thought it might be a good time to go over what is acceptable and what is not acceptable in wedding guest attire.

So in this day of casual wear how do you tell your wedding guests that jeans are not acceptable (even with a dinner jacket for men) and that you fully expect them to dress appropriately? It is not that hard, actually. The place to let your guests know what is expected of them is in the invitation or, even better, on your website if you have one.  I have defined some of the more common dress code terms so you can use them to let guests know what to expect.

“Casual Attire”- If you are having a destination wedding on the beach, your female guests should wear a sundress, cruise-wear, not beachwear. Espadrilles, sandals and a dressier flip flop ( if that exists) are all appropriate footwear. The beach is no place for stilettos, anyway. Men can get away with a nice shirt, maybe Tommy Bahama or a stylish Cubavera  shirt  with linen pants.

“Informal Wedding Attire” is a step up from casual. A nicer dress, made of nicer fabric – something you would wear to a college graduation or to meet the first lady. Floor length is out. Men should wear a suit but still no need to wear a tie if the shirt is nice enough. For a preppy look try a navy blazer with Khaki pants and a pastel print tie.

“Formal Attire” means men have the choice of a tuxedo or dark suit. Ladies can wear either short or long gowns but, it needs to be dressy. Break out the glam but, don’t worry if you prefer the casual side of formal. Cocktail dresses are fine.

“Black Tie” or Ultra Formal is defined as cocktail or long dresses (only)for women and tuxedos (only)for men. Break out the fine jewelry, sparkly accessories and beaded purses. Men do not have to wear a bow tie as long as they have a tuxedo or a fine suit with contrasting fabric on the lapels. Dress like you are headed for the red carpet at the Academy Awards.

If your guests do not have the good sense  to know the definition of ‘Casual Wedding Attire’ ( for example), how do you enforce the dress code? That is entirely up to you. You could either have security to make sure everyone is  up to par and those who aren’t are turned away or  tell the photographer not to take photos of anyone dressed inappropriately. Or you could just let it go.  With any luck at all, you could have someone dressed so oddly that it will entertain you for years to come. 

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

Can you believe 2012 is almost over?!  It’s time to look back on 2012 and some of the fabulous wedding trends that sprouted from the imagination an creativity of seasoned professionals. Of course some may be passing fads … but,  some are definitely worth keeping! In no particular order, here are the ones we would like to stick around for at least another year:

Inspiration Boards

Thanks in large part to Pinterest, this trend has enabled brides to see the big picture when it comes to their wedding story.

Unique Venues

Less than 5% of couples have their ceremony in a house of worship. Finding just the right place to celebrate your love is a charming way to spend time and express your individuality.

Colored Wedding Dresses

Jessica Biel and Reese Witherspoon both tied the knot in subtle shades of pink. Color is hot and you are guaranteed to see a lot more of it in 2013.

Mix It Up

Bridesmaids wearing different (but matching) gowns, making every single groomsmen’s boutonniere slightly different, brides wearing cowboy boots, having homespun touches at the reception. Breaking tradition is the new tradition!

Delaying the Honeymoon

According to Theknot.com about 25% of all couples delay their honeymoon by  more than a week. It gives you time to unwind and prepare for the journey without feeling rushed.

Excited to see what 2013 has in store for weddings? Tune in tomorrow when I explore some 2013 wedding predictions!

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

With twinkling  lights, jingling  bells and chestnuts roasting on open fires,  it’s no wonder December reigns as the most popular month to pop the question. Thirteen percent of marriage proposals happen in December, while February, despite Valentine’s Day, accounts for just 8 percent, according to the Conde Nast American Wedding Study.

Holiday proposals can be among the most romantic because there are so many creative ways to pop the question. Whether it is Christmas or New Year’s Eve or another celebration, these are my top five favorite  Holiday Proposals.

1) Spell out “Will you Marry me?” with Christmas lights. There are actually companies that will orchestrate the whole thing for you including setting up the lights or you can spend an afternoon (like Clark Griswold) toying with lights and extension cords – it’s up to you.

2) Wrap the ring box inside a large box and then successively smaller boxes so that your sweetheart will initially think the gift is quite large. Nesting boxes are great for this and often come in sets. As each layer is opened, the laughs will grow. Get down on one knee right as the last box is opened.

3) Decorating the Christmas tree together, you hand her an ornament which has the ring tied to the top of it. Make sure she is not standing on anything or she might fall off!

4) Organize a scavenger hunt. Start off with a simple clue to someplace nearby, then get more complicated as the scavenger hunt progresses, and have the final location be a place where you can hide and then pop out and get down on one knee.

5) Buy a scrabble game, spell out the words “Will you marry me” and glue the tiles onto the game board. When she opens the gift, make sure she opens the whole thing so she can see the tiles, and then present her with the real gift – the ring!

Whatever method you choose, this is a spectacular time to get engaged, since the holidays are all about family and celebrating with the people you love the most.

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

It is a well known fact that it is the responsibility (and honor) of the bride’s father to walk the bride down the aisle, presenting her at the altar to her future husband, and then later sharing a dance.   In some cases, both parents walk the bride down the aisle and in other cases she walks alone and rare cases where two grown men come together and share this responsibility equally, and of course cases where the mother walks the bride solo. In 2012 you have all sorts of combinations and none of them is right or wrong.  This is one of those ever-changing customs that seems to get more complicated every day. 

To offer a little help if you are trying to decide who should do the honor, ask yourself the following questions:

Who is paying for the wedding? If your stepfather is paying for the wedding 100%, he should be given the place of honor at your side, right? Maybe.  That is unless, of course, he had absolutely no hand in raising you, barely knows you, recently married your mother and you never lived under the same roof with you, he is not exactly a parental figure – yet.

Who raised you? If your father raised you, cared for you, packed your school lunches and drove carpool to dance class, he should be given the place of honor at your side even if he doesn’t have one dime to contribute toward your dream wedding, right? Maybe.  Blood is thicker than water and family is more important than money. However, your stepfather ( and mother)  may have some trouble swallowing the idea of paying for everything and receiving no end credit.

Is there even a father  figure in your life? If your father is deceased or absent from your life and your mother raised you single-handedly, she has every right to be at your side… just the two of you. If she declines (and she might) , ask a favorite uncle or a brother.  

Does everyone get along? If so, have this conversation in a group and include his family as well. Keeping the lines of communication open will make planning much easier. For instance; your parents are divorced and both remarried. If everyone gets along swimmingly and you want to have an honest discussion about who is paying for what and who has what role in the wedding this - do it. It will save tons of time and drama later. Even if you are all on great terms this might be a touchy subject and hurt feelings could turn into a huge family debacle if left unchecked. Always be respectful of the role your parents have played in your life up to this point – it is not all about the wedding. The point is to be inclusive and not exclusive.

Can anyone even be in the same room?If you have the unfortunate circumstance of having suffered through a bitter divorce, subsequent re-marriages of your parents to other people and extremely hostile family relations - buckle up…this is going to be a bumpy ride! Hold on tight to your fiance’s hand and get through this however you can. My advice is to  delegate the dad responsibilities with whomever you feel is the most deserving and responsible and be prepared for the repercussions.  Of course this is more complicated than a simple decision but go back to questions #1 and#2 and decide who played the most important role in your life. Do not let anyone hold you hostage by threatening to boycott the nuptials if they don’t get their way, this is your decision (as a couple) and there is no going back once the decision is made.

It is important to make this decision early since the wording on the invitation can be complicated with fractured and blended families. If  parents and stepparents are all assisting financially with the wedding, their names should be on the invitation.  This is can be tricky so ask your invitation specialist to help you with the wording before you make a costly mistake.

For the Father/Daughter dance you can dance with both dads during the course of the song, changing partners after an allotted time, you can dance with one father ‘figure’ or you can omit this routine entirely. No one says it has to be a part of your wedding. Discuss this with your DJ.

The absolute worst thing that can happen at your wedding is to let any of these small situations get out of control. Unless you are one of the rare families that get along famously and never argue, you will have some sort of struggle on your hands. Close your eyes, envision the outcome you desire and  when you open your eyes take whatever steps necessary to make that happen without hurting anyone’s feelings or stepping on anyone’s toes. That means at no point in the conversation are you allowed to say “It’s my day”  since that expression is a tad over-used and completely self-induglent. You have to be respectful and make your point without becoming  a martyr or spoiled brat.

Remember that if you have the luxury of having parents or multiple parents, count your blessings, even if they don’t love each other as much as you would like, they most certainly love you and will most likely do whatver it takes to ensure your wedding is a joyous occasion.

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

I got a phone call today from a friend who is getting married in 2 weeks. She ordered her gown  9 months before the wedding date just as she was told , she gave a 1/2 deposit just as she was told, and now she sits less than 14 days before her wedding without a gown, worrying where it is and wondering why it took so long. Worrying if she is going to have a gown before her wedding, wondering if it is going to fit. Worrying if she should go somewhere else and buy a backup gown and wondering how she got into this mess in the first place.

In no particular order, here are some step you can take to make sure you are not ever in her shoes:

 Earlier is better. Give yourself as much time as you can. 1 year? No problem! 18 months, even better!!! Start shopping for your gown as soon as you become engaged.  Designers take a minimum of 6 months to complete an order and can take even longer depending upon the style, fabric and beading.

 Reputation is everything. Shop at a trusted salon, one that you have heard great things about. Go on the internet and do a little snooping around. Good recommendations are golden and word of mouth is the best referral. Decide which is more important; savings or service! Working with bridal professionals makes your journey a lot more enjoyable.

 Do your Research. Find out the  designer of your gown, where their company is located, where the garments are made and what their standard shipping time is. 

 Ask Questions. When you have a question, do not hesitate to ask your salon bridal consultant. They are familiar with the stock, the designers, the alterations, every aspect of the business. They get customers from referrals and they know that you will be their biggest advocate if you are happy with your service.

 Back Scratching. Take care of your consultant and your consultant will take care of you. I’m not saying to bribe your consultant. I’m saying a nice note and a kind word all go a very long way when it comes to service.

 Plan ahead. If you do not have a gown within 2 months of your wedding date, you will need to have a backup plan in place. Remember that there are scores of salons that deal in consignment bridal gowns from major designers.

Remember, the worst thing you can do weeks (days) before your wedding is to stress and worry. It will trigger all kinds of physical symptoms; weight gain or loss, bags under your eyes, breakouts, hair loss, mood swings and more.  Most importantly, you are in control of the situation, the situation is not going to control you.

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

The recent news of the engagement of two-time Grammy winner and American Idol alumni Kelly Clarkson to Nashville talent manager Brandon Blackstock got our creative juices flowing, imagining what kind of wedding this “Southern  Belle” might have in mind!

For the rest of the world who does not live in the Southern part of the United States, there are very distinct differences between South Carolina Style, Kentucky Style, Louisiana Style and  Texas Style. So, the fact that Ms. Clarkson hails from Texas and has planted her roots in Tennessee poses a ‘Southern Style’ challenge. However, there are some must -haves for any true Southern Wedding:

It’s all about the family. Expect to see cousins, kids, aunts, uncles and  relatives from every corner of the globe – even Yankees! The more the merrier, Southern weddings are known for being large and friendly so, when it comes to family; there is always room for more.

Grooms Cake. A groom’s cake  presents an opportunity for the bride to get creative & really WOW her groom. Since so much of the wedding is about the bride & her style, this is a great way to honor the most important man in the room.This tradition has really been embraced by people across the globe.

Beverages. Southern brides love to honor their heritage, & the quintessential beverages of the South are the great way to do so. From mint juleps & neat bourbon to sweet tea & Coca-Cola, there’s a Southern beverage to quench the thirst of young & old wedding guests alike.

Charming Accents. Glowing votives, floating magnolias, mason jars, old fashioned lanterns, parasols; all touches that remind you of a simpler era are abundant. Think of timeless elements that would work as easily in 2012 as they would have in 1954.

Most of all, the Southern culture is steeped in beauty, elegance, and grace. Whether your wedding is Sweet Home Alabama or Sweet Home Chicago, you can always incorporate some of these elements to make your celebration ooze with Southern Hospitality.

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

Winter is not necessarily the time of year we associate with an abundance of flowers. But, that doesn’t mean they aren’t there… in full bloom!  “To make the most of your winter wedding, use flowers that are in season and have a winter appeal.” says Ryan Turner of Stemline Creative in Chicago, IL ” Nothing is off-limits. Don’t be afraid of soft pastels, vibrant jewel tones or large textured blooms, just because of the season.”

With just that in mind, here are some of our favorite winter wedding masterpieces:

Glistening Pine Cones-

Pinecones tipped in glitter around dusky blooms of mauve roses and miniature paperwhites.

Holiday Reds-

 Velvety, perfectly opened amaryllis blossoms and Hypericum berries offset by lacy sprigs of arborvitae.

Blue and Silver Stunner-

Silver-and-green foliage surround billowy garden roses and just-blossoming scilla. Velvety lamb’s ear and dusty miller commingle with the plumes of two kinds of grasses and ethereal skeleton leaves. 

Pure white-

Delicate orchids, stephanotis and roses make up this dreamy classic.

 When planning a winter wedding, it is important to take your flower choices into consideration when selecting your color scheme. Not all flowers are available this time of year and chooising wisely could save you time, money and aggravation in the long run.

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

Not so long ago women had very few choices if they wanted their eyelashes to look thicker and longer. You went to the store, bought a set of false eyelashes and eyelash glue and went home to stick them onto your lids for whatever special occasion you decide you needed them.  Most of us hate the way they feel, even when they are applied by a professional,  and after a few hours cannot wait to get them off.

Now, there are other choices. There are , temporary, short term  and long term solutions.  Yes, you can now have longer lashes if you are willing to spend a little money and make some concessions.

First of all, the life cycle of a single eyelash is 90 days (give or take) They grow just like other hair but only to a certain length and about halfway through the cycle have stopped growing and are already preparing to fall out. Any damage done to your eyelashes today will last about three months.

Temporary :

Professional application of individual artificial lashes can take up to one  hour and costs around $90 but it is far more comfortable than the lash strips. Unfortunately,  they will only last one application. Try them out and see how they feel. If you are only interested in having long lashes for this one day and they feel fine, this might be the solution.

Short Term: 

Lash Dipping – Invented by two Chicago aestheticians who decided that lashes should be easy and carefree, not applying mascara every day, two or more times. It is about a two hour process, costs up to $200 and lasts about 6 weeks. But during that six weeks  your lashes will look like you are wearing mascara the whole time and will be noticeably fuller as well! You will need to schedule touch ups every two weeks.

Lash Extensions – take about two hours but can cost anywhere from $200 -$600 not to mention the $90 touch-ups every two weeks. They last about 6-8 weeks but can last up to 3 months. They will fall out just like your other lashes, so look for them on your washcloth! There is no damage to the lash itself as they are placed on lashes that are about 1/2 way through their life cycle. There are several types of lash hair available and the cost is based on the actual material and amount of lashes. This is the choice of many celebrities- so, don’t believe it when they say the lashes are theirs, nobody has lashes this long on the lower lid, not even Elizabeth Taylor who had two full sets of eyelashes on top and bottom.

Long Term:

Latisse - Brought to you by the manufacturer of Botox, the cost of this product is relatively low considering it’s proven effects. For about $120 you will get a 16 week supply and you are almost certain to see results. First used to treat Glaucoma patients, physicians and patients noted a 25% increase in length and fullness in addition to an 18% increase in darkness of their lashes after a 16 week treatment.  The effects are temporary and you will see the decrease when you discontinue use.  There are few side effects and the percentage of users who experience discomfort is marginal.

THE BUZZKILL? If you do not go to a properly trained eyelash technician or do not apply the Latisse according to directions, you risk mild to serious eye damage. Cysts, irritation, blocked tear ducts and more. Make sure the area is clean, all tools are clean and as always, this is not something you  try the day before your wedding.

PLAN AHEAD. If you are planning any lash treatment, start about 6 months before your wedding and this will give your lashes time to grow and re-grow in case you have some kind of reaction to any one of these methods.

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago