Please bear with me as I am still recovering from the Oscars. While I try to be concise with my fashion wrap-up, the best analogies and comparisons always come to me a couple of days later. So I thought I would share those with you, two days after the 2013 Academy awards… in hopes that you might understand how my creative process works. Some people are more visual than others, we see things differently than most people, color is important to us. We see repetition in shapes, designs, patterns and we can’t help comment. You want to take a visual person (like me) shopping with you because no matter how much it hurts, we will say to you, “Hey, Jennifer – don’t wear that purple gown with the ruffle thing in the back or you’ll wind up looking like Barney.”
Or in a kinder manner, delicatley let Nicole Kidman know that this dress is only a good idea if she plans on wearing it for Halloween as Cleopatra. All she will need is a good headband. “Hello, Costume City?”
Or we may point out similarities bewteen fashion and architecture. In fact, it almost appears as if Stacy Keibler and Halle Berry were having a contest to see who could look more like the Chrysler building. Or maybe the joke is on them and the designers planned this!
Even the sexiest mom alive is not immune to a little critique from a shopping pal like me. If I had gone in the fitting room with Heidi, I would have steered her more in this direction
and less in this direction. “No, Heidi, turn left – that is the Forever 21 section”
Chubby, plump or (dare I say) fat women need to realize one thing: You are not a size 2 . A gown is not going to make you look any thinner or fatter than you already are. Lose weight or don’t – nobody cares…. we love your talent and charm. It doesn’t have to be black but, it shouldn’t be this:
For the record, Melissa McCarthy ‘s hair and makeup – flawless.
If I were friends with Adele, I would tell her to do something about the creepy, pointy, vampira manicure and cut a smidge off her hair.
Good vs. Not-so-much
For her dress, try to branch out a little because the 3/4 sleeve, black sparkly gown is starting to look like a uniform. Here is a clue: If drag queens can imitate all of your songs without a costume change, there might be a problem.
In the end, everyone needs a good friend to take shopping, someone to hold their purse and take a digital picture and to be the voice of reason. That person should be the most discerning person you know because they will make sure that your side-boob is not showing and that you do not look like a cartoon of yourself (or anyone else).
-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago