Tag Archives: bridal expo wedding planning

Say “Yes!” To Holiday Engagements

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With twinkling  lights, jingling  bells and chestnuts roasting on open fires,  it’s no wonder December reigns as the most popular month to pop the question. Thirteen percent of marriage proposals happen in December, while February, despite Valentine’s Day, accounts for just 8 percent, according to the Conde Nast American Wedding Study.

Holiday proposals can be among the most romantic because there are so many creative ways to pop the question. Whether it is Christmas or New Year’s Eve or another celebration, these are my top five favorite  Holiday Proposals.

1) Spell out “Will you Marry me?” with Christmas lights. There are actually companies that will orchestrate the whole thing for you including setting up the lights or you can spend an afternoon (like Clark Griswold) toying with lights and extension cords – it’s up to you.

2) Wrap the ring box inside a large box and then successively smaller boxes so that your sweetheart will initially think the gift is quite large. Nesting boxes are great for this and often come in sets. As each layer is opened, the laughs will grow. Get down on one knee right as the last box is opened.

3) Decorating the Christmas tree together, you hand her an ornament which has the ring tied to the top of it. Make sure she is not standing on anything or she might fall off!

4) Organize a scavenger hunt. Start off with a simple clue to someplace nearby, then get more complicated as the scavenger hunt progresses, and have the final location be a place where you can hide and then pop out and get down on one knee.

5) Buy a scrabble game, spell out the words “Will you marry me” and glue the tiles onto the game board. When she opens the gift, make sure she opens the whole thing so she can see the tiles, and then present her with the real gift – the ring!

Whatever method you choose, this is a spectacular time to get engaged, since the holidays are all about family and celebrating with the people you love the most.

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

 

 

Giving Away The Bride – Who’s In, Who’s Out?

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It is a well known fact that it is the responsibility (and honor) of the bride’s father to walk the bride down the aisle, presenting her at the altar to her future husband, and then later sharing a dance.   In some cases, both parents walk the bride down the aisle and in other cases she walks alone and rare cases where two grown men come together and share this responsibility equally, and of course cases where the mother walks the bride solo. In 2012 you have all sorts of combinations and none of them is right or wrong.  This is one of those ever-changing customs that seems to get more complicated every day. 

To offer a little help if you are trying to decide who should do the honor, ask yourself the following questions:

Who is paying for the wedding? If your stepfather is paying for the wedding 100%, he should be given the place of honor at your side, right? Maybe.  That is unless, of course, he had absolutely no hand in raising you, barely knows you, recently married your mother and you never lived under the same roof with you, he is not exactly a parental figure – yet.

Who raised you? If your father raised you, cared for you, packed your school lunches and drove carpool to dance class, he should be given the place of honor at your side even if he doesn’t have one dime to contribute toward your dream wedding, right? Maybe.  Blood is thicker than water and family is more important than money. However, your stepfather ( and mother)  may have some trouble swallowing the idea of paying for everything and receiving no end credit.

Is there even a father  figure in your life? If your father is deceased or absent from your life and your mother raised you single-handedly, she has every right to be at your side… just the two of you. If she declines (and she might) , ask a favorite uncle or a brother.  

Does everyone get along? If so, have this conversation in a group and include his family as well. Keeping the lines of communication open will make planning much easier. For instance; your parents are divorced and both remarried. If everyone gets along swimmingly and you want to have an honest discussion about who is paying for what and who has what role in the wedding this – do it. It will save tons of time and drama later. Even if you are all on great terms this might be a touchy subject and hurt feelings could turn into a huge family debacle if left unchecked. Always be respectful of the role your parents have played in your life up to this point – it is not all about the wedding. The point is to be inclusive and not exclusive.

Can anyone even be in the same room?If you have the unfortunate circumstance of having suffered through a bitter divorce, subsequent re-marriages of your parents to other people and extremely hostile family relations – buckle up…this is going to be a bumpy ride! Hold on tight to your fiance’s hand and get through this however you can. My advice is to  delegate the dad responsibilities with whomever you feel is the most deserving and responsible and be prepared for the repercussions.  Of course this is more complicated than a simple decision but go back to questions #1 and#2 and decide who played the most important role in your life. Do not let anyone hold you hostage by threatening to boycott the nuptials if they don’t get their way, this is your decision (as a couple) and there is no going back once the decision is made.

It is important to make this decision early since the wording on the invitation can be complicated with fractured and blended families. If  parents and stepparents are all assisting financially with the wedding, their names should be on the invitation.  This is can be tricky so ask your invitation specialist to help you with the wording before you make a costly mistake.

For the Father/Daughter dance you can dance with both dads during the course of the song, changing partners after an allotted time, you can dance with one father ‘figure’ or you can omit this routine entirely. No one says it has to be a part of your wedding. Discuss this with your DJ.

The absolute worst thing that can happen at your wedding is to let any of these small situations get out of control. Unless you are one of the rare families that get along famously and never argue, you will have some sort of struggle on your hands. Close your eyes, envision the outcome you desire and  when you open your eyes take whatever steps necessary to make that happen without hurting anyone’s feelings or stepping on anyone’s toes. That means at no point in the conversation are you allowed to say “It’s my day”  since that expression is a tad over-used and completely self-induglent. You have to be respectful and make your point without becoming  a martyr or spoiled brat.

Remember that if you have the luxury of having parents or multiple parents, count your blessings, even if they don’t love each other as much as you would like, they most certainly love you and will most likely do whatver it takes to ensure your wedding is a joyous occasion.

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

Daddy’s Little Girl – All Grown Up

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If you are blessed to have a father, stepfather (or both) on your wedding day, you are one lucky woman. Losing my father at an early age taught me two things: life is short and a good dad is hard to find. Remember, on your wedding day you will be marking the passage from being one man’s daughter to another man’s wife. It is a bittersweet occasion for him and a good time to remind him of how much he means to you.  It is also a good time to remind him of his role in the wedding, that he has a very special place and purpose for being there, other than to pay for everything, if that is even your dynamic.

Walk Down The Aisle– If your father will be walking you down the aisle, this will be a very emotional moment for him. As you let go of his hand, remind him of how much it means to you with a kiss on the cheek, a nod, a whisper. Don’t be in a hurry to move forward, he might need a moment to digest this.

Father /Daughter Dance – This is when, traditionally, the father cuts in to the first dance of the newlyweds and dances with his daughter for the first time as a married woman as the music transitions into ‘their song’. Or you can have a completely different dance  just for the two of you. “Daddy’s Little Girl” is a bit outdated and kind of (whats the word?) … creepy. Find a song that means something to the two of you, and no one else.

Speech – The father of the bride gives the first speech at the reception. Whether it is lighthearted, serious, or sentimental, it should be whatever suits his personality and your relationship together. He might need help with this as some men are not as eloquent or profound as others. Spend some alone time with him leading up to the wedding, giving him an opportunity to reminisce and ponder………

Gift – Finding the right gift for your dad can mean a lot. I know from experience that men who do not express emotions easily are touched by small gestures. A framed photo of the two of you when you were a little girl, a pair of cuff-links, an embroidered handkerchief. Stay away from t-shirts or mugs with photos of shotguns. It’s only funny because it’s tacky.

Don’t be surprised if , many years down the road, you wind up thinking that your husband is a lot like your dad, it happens all the time. When it is all said and done, he was the first man you loved, the one who taught you to sit up straight and respect yourself and set the standard for what to look for in a husband in the first place. For that, he deserves special recognition.

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

Conversation Starters

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Conversation Starters are the hottest thing in weddings right now. From Pinterest to Marth Stewart, almost every wedding site is abuzz with dozens of  DIY ideas to get people talking at the reception! From sea to shining sea, here are our top five favorite Conversation Starters:

Origami Fortune Tellers – A throwback to your childhood, these simple, folded paper ‘toys’ are placed at the table with various questions and answers about the couple.

 

Quiz/ Questionnaire – A few fun, lighthearted questions about the bride and groom are guaranteed to get guests talking, reminiscing and laughing.

 

 Guest questionnaires about the bride and groom

 

 Scrapbook Guest Book –  To pull this off, designate a friend or family member to take pictures of guests with a polaroid camera  as they enter your reception and another to print the photos (yes, they still make polariod cameras). The photos are placed in a guestbook photo album so the guests can sign or wrote a sentiment next to their photo and everyone gets their own page!

 

Table Markers– For each table, find a creative use for the number. Example here 5 things you didn’t know about the bride or groom, or 6 places they would both like to visit, 7 relatives that you may not know. Each one is sprinkled with information about the couple, their family, their friends and everything in between.

 

For each person who has replied “Yes”, find an old photo of them to put on the place card. The older the picture, the better. If you met your best friend in grade school, using that picture will certainly spark some conversations!

For each of these very creative ideas, there is a lot of work involved. Folding paper, printing out questionnaires, preparing place cards or guest book pages. Doing-It-Yourself is not for the faint of heart. If you can’t tackle it alone, you can always ask for help! Perhaps you will have more fun with a bridesmaid or two, your mom(s) and a glass of wine!

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

The Hottest Thing in Wedding Favors? Flip Books!

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Finding the right wedding favors can be a daunting task. Candles,  photo frames, keychains… they are all good and useful ideas. But, every now and then an idea comes along that is so good I can’t believe no one has thought of it until now. I present to you: Flip Books.

Flip Books  are individually crafted mini books, created using your own short (approximately 30 second ) digital video. Small, compact and durable, they make great mementos and are economical as well. Even less expensive if you buy several at once.

In addition to wedding favors, they make great attendant gifts. Make a short video from your bridal shower, a staged video of the two of you dancing or laughing or doing  just about anything!

The way it works is that the video is taken apart frame by frame and each frame is placed on a right side page. As you ‘flip’ through the book, it is like watching the mini video – without any devices involved. Genius – pure and simple!

You can also customize one (or more)  for your own keepsake after the wedding to include a bouquet  toss, reciting your vows, or a portion of your first dance.

The flipbooks are made with durable, heavy-duty binding, the photos are printed on  heavy bond digital paper which makes your video spring to life. There are several websites that offer flipbook so make sure you see their work in person before you  buy anything.

My best advice for anyone who wants to use this idea: Start filming short ( 2 minute) videos of wedding activities  as soon as possible. This way you can edit the video down to highlight the best 15-20 seconds of action. Upload, place the order and you are done.  Although most sites offers different covers, customized labels will add your own personal touch!

Happy Flipping!

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

greeting card flipbooks

Seating Charts Made Easy

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You are constantly being told this is your wedding and you should do things the way you want. In most cases, this is true but, when it comes to where to seat your guests, taking advice from others might be in your best interest. Use these ten simple tips to make your seating planning a breeze!

#1) Get a floor plan from the venue with the tables the way they will be arranged at your event. Make sure this floor plans hows how many seats are at each table.

#2) Don’t do anything in permanent marker, things might need to be re-arranged later. Tiny post-its or push pins is definitely the way to go.

#3) Ask both mothers or older relatives ( one from each side) to sit in on the seating plans. They will know the intricacies of some of the more difficult relationships better than you, especially if it is distant cousins or their friends.

#4) Don’t make the final seating plan until you have your final count. Moving things around too much will confuse you and you will be more likely to make mistakes.

#5) Use different color post-its for his family, your family, friends, co – workers, etc.

#6) Always start with the bridal party, then immediate family, then other family members, then relatives, then friends.

#7) Be aware of people with extremely strict political or religious beliefs whenever possible. The last thing you want is a heated debate over a touch topic.

#8) Keep a few extra seats on hand in case a guests unexpectedly shows up. this happens all the time!

#9) Try to seat all of the single people at one table. The guests who are single and choose not to bring a date will be able to mingle and meet new people.

#10) There is tons of software available for wedding seating charts – shop around and find one that works for you. But, always have a paper copy in case you lose your files.

The best tool you have when planning the seating for your wedding is common sense. That, and a sense of humor will make the whole planning process fun and easy!

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

 

Wedding Trends You Wish Would Go Away

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By the time a trend is mainstream enough for everyone to have seen it, it is usually on it’s way out. Shoulder pads, poofy veils, corsets, whatever it is, there is someone who started it, someone who will not let it die and those of us who wish it would end ( for the love of God). From around the globe on forums, pinterest, facebook and youtube these are the trends that you (the consumer) would like to stick a fork into… they are done.

Choreographed (surprise) wedding flash mob. When this first started a few years ago, couple couldn’t get enough of it. Well, it seems like now they have and that’s why 63% of couples said they think it is been done and overdone.

Pick Up Skirts. The wedding gown with drapes of fabric that is quite literally ‘picked up’ and sewn in place so the skirt is billowy. Nearly 70 of brides say this is a trend that has seen it’s time.

Flower-less bouquets. Bouquets made from buttons, crystals, and other knick-knacks are passe. 78% of brides want flowers… lots of flowers, flowers that smell good and look good and guess what? You can add the sparkly accents to a floral bouquet. The worst offender – cookie bouquet. Seriously.

Strapless Gowns. You can find bridal gowns made of just about every material in every price range, made of every fabric and nearly every style except one with sleeves. The designers are showing lace jackets, shrugs and boleros. A whopping 83% of all brides want something else… anything that is NOT strapless. Wake up!

Over the top theme weddings. This particular trend is so out of date that over 90% of couples wouldn’t even consider it. Re-enacting wedding scenes from a movie is going to make your photos look like a costume party. Grow up, have a wedding that is not goth, vampire, Star Wars or Twilight- themed. Instead, have a wedding  that features small touches of that one thing that you love.

In ten, twenty or thirty years you don’t want to look at your photos and wondering what went through your head. Stylish does not have to be boring and expressing yourself can be more fun if you focus on what’s really important and don’t turn your wedding into a circus.

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

 

 

 

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Invited To A Wedding? Read This First.

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Etiquette is one of those elusive things that seem to escape some people, one of those things you don’t really think about until  you’re in the “10 items or less” line behind someone with a full cart of groceries, or you are waiting (patiently) behind someone who is talking on their cell phone during a really short left arrow green light, or when someone is talking really loud in a movie. It isn’t until a social event like a wedding or funeral, where things are quiet and you have time to reflect, that these infractions of common manners become so imposing.

Cell Phones are the worst culprit in modern times. Texting, talking and (God forbid) playing games on your phone during a wedding is rude, don’t do it. Unless you are expecting an urgent call, you don’t even need your cell phone during the wedding…. leave it in the car. If you do need your cell phone with you, turn the ringer off and carry it in your pocket, when the urgent call comes through excuse yourself and go outside where you can converse without interrupting  everything. There is nothing more annoying than trying to carry on a conversation or eat dinner with someone who is glued to their cell phone.

Chewing Gum  is another no – no. Altoids, Tic-Tacs, Mentos work very well for a case of stale breath. Chewing gum in church ( or other place of worship), in the receiving line, giving a toast or dancing is tacky.  The worst part is when people forget they are chewing gum and it shows up in a picture…. YIKES!

Dressing appropriately is hard for some people so, this is a tricky one. I sat behind a man in a hoodie at a funeral this week and couldn’t stop staring at his bright red fleece garment the entire time, thinking to myself,  “Is that all you’ve got?” It was distracting to say the least. Giving him the benefit of the doubt, it is likely that he may have slipped out of work to be at this somber event and I know deep down that he had a really good reason for being inappropriately dressed. You don’t have to wear a pricey designer suits or gowns to be well-dressed. Too much cleavage, not enough skirt, anything denim are all good indicators that you need a wardrobe intervention. If you are unsure about what to wear, take a closer look at the invitation and it should tell you everything you need to know, if you are still stuck, call a wedding professional like a photographer or florist who has been to dozens of these events and they will be able to guide you.

Gossip is also a touchy subject. Asking questions about the cost of the gown, reception, gifts or anything wedding related is tacky, speculating on whether or not the marriage will last is morbid, and the most glaring offense of all is wondering (out loud) if the bride is pregnant. Unless the couple has announced that they are expecting, leave that commentary for another time. Basically, you are there to lend your support, not to openly critique every detail of the wedding. Save that for late , or not at all.

Let’s face it – you can’t legislate good manners. You can’t expect everyone to behave, dress, speak or act properly at all times. All you can do is lead by example and cross your fingers that they all follow your lead. By the time a person is an adult, they should know these few common rules of etiquette and if they don’t – there is nothing you can do to help them. Your best bet when faced with these offenses is to smile and politely excuse yourself from the situation. You will laugh about it later…. or not.

 

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

Wedding Website Do’s and Dont’s

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Technology is a wonderful thing. Engaged couples can not only design their own unique website telling their story but, also share wedding news, photos, updates, blog about the details, etc. It is also a great way to alert guests of any last minute changes and to clue them in to pertinent information. Over 30% of today’s couple are using wedding websites to share information and that figure increases faster than Charlie Sheen can ‘tweet’.  However, there are some pitfalls to having access to this much information and  to having so much information about you available on the internet.

DO research on the site itself and how long it has been around. Free sites are available but are literally a dime a dozen. They can be loaded with  pop-ups. UGH! You don’t have this much time to waste on putting together a website only to have problems later. Use a reputable server to host your wedding webpage.

DO NOT list your gift registry information on your website. It is perfectly acceptable to provide a link to the website, but do not list gift preferences here. It is in poor taste.

DO put tons of photos on your website. Friends and family will love to see your photos as a couple, they tell a story. Of course they will want the official engagement photo but, the snapshots from vacation, from your childhood, with friends and family will also be a big hit.

DO NOT go on a 2 page rant about something wedding-related or it might come back to bite you. Maybe the florist was not as nice as she could have been, maybe the photographer put you on hold too long the last time you called or even worse, you and one of your guests got into a disagreement.  Its best not to blog about these things on your website. The internet is a really easy place to get yourself into hot water so keep those things to private conversations and emails. If you must blog, blog about the positive aspects of your engagement period (period). Keep the private stuff to yourself.

DO make it a family affair. Put your parents’ wedding photos, photos of the attendants, your sisters, brothers, and your beloved pets. It is all about getting to know your story.

DO NOT share  incriminating photos of drunken attendants at  bachelor/ bachelorette parties. These things are private and as much as you shouldn’t share them, no one really wants to see them. Everyone lets loose sometimes but this is not the place to expose wild antics. Unless you’re going for a ‘Brides Gone Wild’ theme.

DO make it your own. Be as unique as you want to and let your friends/family/guests see your individuality. Romantic, eccentric, conservative, whatever your personal style is – don’t be afraid to let it shine.

DON’T Allow comments without your approval. The last thing you need is someone making some kind of comment that ruins your day and has you scrambling to figure out how to delete. 

DO encourage your guests to comment. Reading words of encouragement is uplifting and can make your entire affair become more close-knit.

 Done properly, your wedding website will be memorable and bring you closer to your loved ones. Your guests will have an opportunity to get to know you better and get a glimpse into your relationship. Working on a website together is a great way to bond even closer to your betrothed and to  pay tribute to your parents and other special guests.

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

Gift Giving Made Easy

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We have all heard the old adage that is it better to give than to receive and I know from experience that there is that one occasion where you can’t wait to give someone that most special gift. The one thing they have always wanted or the one thing that will brighten their day. It could be a small kitchen appliance that they really, really want or something as large a s a bundle of cash. When giving a wedding gift (or any gift) the most important thing to remember is that ‘presentation is everything’.

Don’t re-gift. If you received a serving platter that you don’t like and you can’t return, move on. Giving it to someone else is only acceptable if they have coveted it and you have agreed they can have it. In any case you still owe them a wedding gift. The worst gift horror stories involve monogrammed items or items with the original gift card enclosed. Take some time and put some thought into a gift.

Cash is King. If you prefer to give cash as a gift, it is frowned upon to hand someone a roll of bills rolled into a ball with a rubber band wrapped around them (unless you are my father-in-law). Buy a lovely card, go to the bank and get brand new, crisp money and put it in the envelope. Checks are okay, too but the most important thing is finding a card that expresses your sentiments.

No receipt.  The most beautiful thing you have ever seen in your life may not be beautiful to someone else so, always include the receipt. Either tape it to the gift or tape to the inside of the card to make sure that it wil not get lost. Stores now give a nice receipt with no numbers, so it can be returned discreetly. Not giving them a receipt indicates that you don’t care if they like it or that you are embarrassed that you didn’t pay retail. I was given a gift one time with no receipt and the tags cut off…. not cool.

Last but, not least:

Wrap it up. If you are one of those people who thinks a gift bag with some tissue crammed into it is a substitute for wrapping a gift, it’s time to take a course in gift wrapping.  No matter how cute it is, suitable ‘wrapping’  for taking a gift to a casual birthday gathering is not suitable for a wedding. Buy some  beautiful wrapping paper, a roll of scotch tape, some nice matching fabric ribbon and wrap the gift. Wrap the gift and tie a bow (a real bow) on the gift. Don’t forget a matching gift card or gift tag with a nice handwritten note. Because, if it truly is the thought that counts, put some thought into it.

 

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago