Bridal Expo

 I have learned a lot in my life. But, there is one question that I have yet to find the answer:  Why is it so hard for women over 50  to find just the right dress for a special event – ?  
First of all,  most  are not 100% comfortable with their bodies anymore and hide behind their clothing. They wear baggy sweaters, mom jeans and/or frumpy clothing most of the time. When it does come time to find a dress for the wedding of their child, they panic and all wind up wearing a long dress with a jacket. Here is a tip: THEY ALL LOOK THE SAME!. Satin jacket with crepe dress or crepe jacket with satin dress – it is nearly a uniform of the wedding mother who just can’t find anything else.

Secondly, there is a double standard: we are told we can’t wear short dresses anymore no matter how great the legs but, designers consistently show strapless gowns for women who shouldn’t have worn them when they were 20 , much less when they reach senior ‘citizenship’. Hardly fair, is it?

 Here are a few things to consider before you buy anything to wear to  your adult child’s wedding:

#1) Forget everything you hear, read or see on TV. If you have great, shapely legs and want to wear a shorter dress, wear it! 3″ above the knee is about the limit for a host of reasons but, short skirts are not limited to the X or Y or Z generation.

#2) Accessorize. Find a dress you love in your size and forget about being perfect or looking like a supermodel. Make the most of a simple, elegant dress by accessorizing to the max! Great necklace and earrings, beaded scarf, or even a hat will draw the eyes to your face and away from the mid-section where you may be a little thicker than you used to be. A great pair of heels will also do a lot for your self -image.

#3) Wrap it up. Consider a wrap dress if your tummy isn’t as flat as it used to be. A wrap (around) dress can hide 10-15 lbs easily. If the fabric is right and you accessorize properly, you will look stunning. Diane Von Furstenberg gave us the quintessential wrap dress in the 1970′s and it has evolved into a garment that can literally be worn for any occasion depending upon the fabric.

#4) Who are you? Don’t forget your personal style. If you have always liked a certain type of dress, don’t shy away from it because you are older. Underneath the laugh lines, next  to the spanx, lies the same woman who ran cross-country, captained the cheerleading squad, pledged a sorority and later attended every PTA meeting. You are what you are and what you are needs needs no excuses.

#5) Undergarments are everything. You don’t need to wear a girdle or a corset, you don’t need to wear extra tight super control top pantyhose.  But, wearing the right panties and bra will make any gown look better.

I know how you feel. Every day someone tells you that you don’t look your age, in fact you don’t really feel your age.  You walk confidently down the street in shorts in the summer, you play tennis, ride horses, swim, or run. You feel like you get better each and every day until you are confronted with that hideous mirror in the dressing room and the fluorescent lights! Let me tell you – those lights are lying. You are better! You don’t need a face lift  butt lift or liposuction….. all you need is the right dress, just ask Helen Mirren or Jane Fonda!

-Penny Frulla For Bridal Expo Chicago

“You get what you pay for”… it’s true in many cases, and we all know it.  If you have your heart set on designer gown, buying a knock-off will never be the same. Not only the designer tag, some key elements may be missing. The same goes with jewelry, shoes, and just about everything else. Here are the facts  surrounding the  real vs. fake argument.

Gown- Buying a  copy of a designer gown is never a good idea. Can you spot the fake in this picture?

Headpiece- The same headpiece for less money (made poorly)  is usually a disaster. Once your hair is done, having a headpiece that is poorly made can fall apart and will most likely destroy your hairstyle.

Eyelashes – Applied by a professional individually or even in strips is fine. Doing it yourself is probably a bad idea unless you have tons of practice. Otherwise, they will look like caterpillars stuck to your eyelids. Three words: Professional makeup artist.

Hair – Even the best hair extensions can ruin your hair for a period of time. The good news it is rarely permanent damage, bad news is that it escalates permanent hair loss if you are already prone. Bad hair extensions look like hair plugs and can fall out in clumps at any time for no reason. If you decide on hair extensions for your wedding, make sure it is done professionally and short term only.

Tan – Over exposure to the sun in tanning beds and in real life has a negative affect on your skin. Self spray tans have a distinct odor and can streak or come off on your clothes plus they usually come out looking orange. The best idea if you must tan before your wedding is a professional spray tan  no less than 5 days before the wedding. Even if your tan is just perfect – don’t forget to exfoliate the day before your wedding to avoid discoloration of the gown.

A good spray tan should look like this:

Not this:

Nails - Artificial nails, either gel or acrylic can look very natural so if you break a nail shortly before your wedding, this is an excellent option. Having extra long nails when you aren’t used to them makes things difficult to maneuver but, having extra long nails applied too long before the wedding runs the risk of  breaking one or more shortly before ( or during) the wedding.

This is a suitable manicure:

As opposed to this:

Shoes – Knock off designer shoes are the absolute biggest mistake you can ever make. Your shoes should be comfortable, well-fitting and made of natural materials. Buying a copy of designer shoes in pleather is a mistake. Find the shoe that feels and fits the best on your foot without worrying about the label and you will never regret it.

Makeup – A lot of research and testing goes into cosmetics. Well, not all cosmetics. Although it may  possible to find less expensive makeup that does the same thing as a really great (probably expensive) foundation or Bare Minerals, the chances are you won’t.

At the end of the day what really matters is how you feel. If you are so bedazzled and bogged down with tips, extensions, weaves and spray tans that you are hardly recognizable or if you are so worried about designer names that the quality has become an after thought, it might be time to re-think your priorities. When it is all said and done spending a little more money for quality products may sometimes be the only option to avoid becoming a knock -off of yourself.

After all , you get what you pay for.

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

No one begins the wedding planning process worrying about every single detail that could go wrong. Correction, most people don’t plan this way, I’m sure that there are those rare exceptions.  At the risk of frightening potential brides and grooms, there are about a million things that can go wrong on any given day much less the day or week of your wedding. Being prepared for a disaster is different than planning for one or even expecting something bad to happen, being on top of every detail is not Obsessive-Compulsive, it is responsible and requires clear thinking and adult decision making.

A disaster is defined a  sudden event, such as an accident or a natural catastrophe, that causes great damage or loss of life.

Just so we are clear; a disaster is not when it rains on your wedding day, when the color of the napkins doesn’t exactly match the bridesmaid’s gowns or when you have a head cold the day before your wedding. These are minor inconveniences. Of course a sudden illness ( however short term or curable)  can be a disaster;   a burst appendix, or  chicken pox. A disaster can be a blizzard that closes airports and roads for travel, stranding  invited guests wherever they may be for days. A disaster can be the reception hall burning to the ground three days before your event.

Although there is no way to prepare for these sudden and completely inconceivable forces that could turn your life upside down at a moment’s notice, there is a way to make them less devastating.

Take care of your health – Without over-reacting, pay attention to any changes in your body. See your doctor and ask him or her to update your vaccines and if you have never had chicken pox, mumps, rubella or measles – get the necessary vaccine(s)  far in advance of your wedding date.  This also might be a good time to think about multivitamins. If you are taking any prescription medications, you must be diligent about dosage and watch for possible side effects.

Travel Plans – If you are having a destination wedding, are traveling any distance or expect out-of town guests, check weather reports in the area where the wedding is planned and if there are any severe weather alerts (blizzard, tornado, hurricane) begin to think about alternative plans.  Remind everyone who is traveling by air to book their flights well in advance, purchase the traveler’s insurance and pay the small amount extra to book a flight they can cancel or alter at a moment’s notice, it will pay for itself if needed.

Overall Insurance – Many companies offer wedding insurance; comprehensive insurance that covers the entire cost of the wedding in case of disaster or emergency. Be careful, though,  and make sure you use a reputable  and reliable carrier. Always read the fine print and make sure you are covered for specific situations indigenous to your area.

Without obsessing, without spending every waking minute worrying and driving everyone (including yourself) nuts –  simply remember the Boy Scout credo: Always be prepared.

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

A long time ago there was a very strict dress code for each and every event. Seriously, people got dressed up in suits to go to baseball games and ladies were in stockings and heels at the grocery store. Today, it seems, people have trouble knowing how to dress for dinner at a casual restaurant much less a wedding.  I see  people of all ages  wearing pajama pants in public and generally speaking, casual attire has gotten out of control. So when  my friend called me today and asked what she should wear to a wedding I thought it might be a good time to go over what is acceptable and what is not acceptable in wedding guest attire.

So in this day of casual wear how do you tell your wedding guests that jeans are not acceptable (even with a dinner jacket for men) and that you fully expect them to dress appropriately? It is not that hard, actually. The place to let your guests know what is expected of them is in the invitation or, even better, on your website if you have one.  I have defined some of the more common dress code terms so you can use them to let guests know what to expect.

“Casual Attire”- If you are having a destination wedding on the beach, your female guests should wear a sundress, cruise-wear, not beachwear. Espadrilles, sandals and a dressier flip flop ( if that exists) are all appropriate footwear. The beach is no place for stilettos, anyway. Men can get away with a nice shirt, maybe Tommy Bahama or a stylish Cubavera  shirt  with linen pants.

“Informal Wedding Attire” is a step up from casual. A nicer dress, made of nicer fabric – something you would wear to a college graduation or to meet the first lady. Floor length is out. Men should wear a suit but still no need to wear a tie if the shirt is nice enough. For a preppy look try a navy blazer with Khaki pants and a pastel print tie.

“Formal Attire” means men have the choice of a tuxedo or dark suit. Ladies can wear either short or long gowns but, it needs to be dressy. Break out the glam but, don’t worry if you prefer the casual side of formal. Cocktail dresses are fine.

“Black Tie” or Ultra Formal is defined as cocktail or long dresses (only)for women and tuxedos (only)for men. Break out the fine jewelry, sparkly accessories and beaded purses. Men do not have to wear a bow tie as long as they have a tuxedo or a fine suit with contrasting fabric on the lapels. Dress like you are headed for the red carpet at the Academy Awards.

If your guests do not have the good sense  to know the definition of ‘Casual Wedding Attire’ ( for example), how do you enforce the dress code? That is entirely up to you. You could either have security to make sure everyone is  up to par and those who aren’t are turned away or  tell the photographer not to take photos of anyone dressed inappropriately. Or you could just let it go.  With any luck at all, you could have someone dressed so oddly that it will entertain you for years to come. 

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

It is a well known fact that it is the responsibility (and honor) of the bride’s father to walk the bride down the aisle, presenting her at the altar to her future husband, and then later sharing a dance.   In some cases, both parents walk the bride down the aisle and in other cases she walks alone and rare cases where two grown men come together and share this responsibility equally, and of course cases where the mother walks the bride solo. In 2012 you have all sorts of combinations and none of them is right or wrong.  This is one of those ever-changing customs that seems to get more complicated every day. 

To offer a little help if you are trying to decide who should do the honor, ask yourself the following questions:

Who is paying for the wedding? If your stepfather is paying for the wedding 100%, he should be given the place of honor at your side, right? Maybe.  That is unless, of course, he had absolutely no hand in raising you, barely knows you, recently married your mother and you never lived under the same roof with you, he is not exactly a parental figure – yet.

Who raised you? If your father raised you, cared for you, packed your school lunches and drove carpool to dance class, he should be given the place of honor at your side even if he doesn’t have one dime to contribute toward your dream wedding, right? Maybe.  Blood is thicker than water and family is more important than money. However, your stepfather ( and mother)  may have some trouble swallowing the idea of paying for everything and receiving no end credit.

Is there even a father  figure in your life? If your father is deceased or absent from your life and your mother raised you single-handedly, she has every right to be at your side… just the two of you. If she declines (and she might) , ask a favorite uncle or a brother.  

Does everyone get along? If so, have this conversation in a group and include his family as well. Keeping the lines of communication open will make planning much easier. For instance; your parents are divorced and both remarried. If everyone gets along swimmingly and you want to have an honest discussion about who is paying for what and who has what role in the wedding this - do it. It will save tons of time and drama later. Even if you are all on great terms this might be a touchy subject and hurt feelings could turn into a huge family debacle if left unchecked. Always be respectful of the role your parents have played in your life up to this point – it is not all about the wedding. The point is to be inclusive and not exclusive.

Can anyone even be in the same room?If you have the unfortunate circumstance of having suffered through a bitter divorce, subsequent re-marriages of your parents to other people and extremely hostile family relations - buckle up…this is going to be a bumpy ride! Hold on tight to your fiance’s hand and get through this however you can. My advice is to  delegate the dad responsibilities with whomever you feel is the most deserving and responsible and be prepared for the repercussions.  Of course this is more complicated than a simple decision but go back to questions #1 and#2 and decide who played the most important role in your life. Do not let anyone hold you hostage by threatening to boycott the nuptials if they don’t get their way, this is your decision (as a couple) and there is no going back once the decision is made.

It is important to make this decision early since the wording on the invitation can be complicated with fractured and blended families. If  parents and stepparents are all assisting financially with the wedding, their names should be on the invitation.  This is can be tricky so ask your invitation specialist to help you with the wording before you make a costly mistake.

For the Father/Daughter dance you can dance with both dads during the course of the song, changing partners after an allotted time, you can dance with one father ‘figure’ or you can omit this routine entirely. No one says it has to be a part of your wedding. Discuss this with your DJ.

The absolute worst thing that can happen at your wedding is to let any of these small situations get out of control. Unless you are one of the rare families that get along famously and never argue, you will have some sort of struggle on your hands. Close your eyes, envision the outcome you desire and  when you open your eyes take whatever steps necessary to make that happen without hurting anyone’s feelings or stepping on anyone’s toes. That means at no point in the conversation are you allowed to say “It’s my day”  since that expression is a tad over-used and completely self-induglent. You have to be respectful and make your point without becoming  a martyr or spoiled brat.

Remember that if you have the luxury of having parents or multiple parents, count your blessings, even if they don’t love each other as much as you would like, they most certainly love you and will most likely do whatver it takes to ensure your wedding is a joyous occasion.

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

I got a phone call today from a friend who is getting married in 2 weeks. She ordered her gown  9 months before the wedding date just as she was told , she gave a 1/2 deposit just as she was told, and now she sits less than 14 days before her wedding without a gown, worrying where it is and wondering why it took so long. Worrying if she is going to have a gown before her wedding, wondering if it is going to fit. Worrying if she should go somewhere else and buy a backup gown and wondering how she got into this mess in the first place.

In no particular order, here are some step you can take to make sure you are not ever in her shoes:

 Earlier is better. Give yourself as much time as you can. 1 year? No problem! 18 months, even better!!! Start shopping for your gown as soon as you become engaged.  Designers take a minimum of 6 months to complete an order and can take even longer depending upon the style, fabric and beading.

 Reputation is everything. Shop at a trusted salon, one that you have heard great things about. Go on the internet and do a little snooping around. Good recommendations are golden and word of mouth is the best referral. Decide which is more important; savings or service! Working with bridal professionals makes your journey a lot more enjoyable.

 Do your Research. Find out the  designer of your gown, where their company is located, where the garments are made and what their standard shipping time is. 

 Ask Questions. When you have a question, do not hesitate to ask your salon bridal consultant. They are familiar with the stock, the designers, the alterations, every aspect of the business. They get customers from referrals and they know that you will be their biggest advocate if you are happy with your service.

 Back Scratching. Take care of your consultant and your consultant will take care of you. I’m not saying to bribe your consultant. I’m saying a nice note and a kind word all go a very long way when it comes to service.

 Plan ahead. If you do not have a gown within 2 months of your wedding date, you will need to have a backup plan in place. Remember that there are scores of salons that deal in consignment bridal gowns from major designers.

Remember, the worst thing you can do weeks (days) before your wedding is to stress and worry. It will trigger all kinds of physical symptoms; weight gain or loss, bags under your eyes, breakouts, hair loss, mood swings and more.  Most importantly, you are in control of the situation, the situation is not going to control you.

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

It is December, the stores are filled with Christmas decorations and it is 70 degrees outside…. in Chicago… seriously. As a result, there are a lot of germs lingering around due to the unusually warm  temperatures and couples need to take a lot of precautions not to wake up on their wedding day with the full-blown flu.

This would be a really good time to get a flu shot if you can. Some people have never gotten one and some people always get one. Don’t take any chances and get one this year… you  won’t regret it. Do this at least two weeks before the wedding.

You absolutely must take action at the first symptom to avoid being passed out from cold medication or doubled over in the restroom with intestinal pain during your wedding and reception. Waiting too long to call the doctor can hasten your recovery or worse, lead to complications. People actually die from the flu…. no joke, it is dangerous!!!

Sore Throat/Cough -Drink warm tea with honey or lemon. I swear by  Limoncello. A shot of limoncello in a cup of tea might not be such a bad idea, either. It is important to do something immediately about this. A  sore throat or even a tickle is a sign that something is amiss in your immune system.

Runny Nose/ Sneezing/Sniffles - This is a sign you are probably coming down with a cold. Take what you normally take for a cold, and  do whatever it takes to enjoy your day. If you have a hard time taking medicine, use Cold-Eze, Airborne, or anything with zinc, echinacea, vitamin C, garlic or honey. Keep saline spray and use it often to avoid sneezing. Stay hydrated to avoid exhaustion, Gatorade, G2 and water. Make sure you have kleenex on hand and if you must sneeze; sneeze into your elbow, not your hands!

Upset stomach - Stress is the #1 cause of stomach upset. If you have a mild upset stomach, avoid eating too much of anything. Ginger Ale is recommended because of the Ginger. However, Green tea or any tea made with chamomile, ginger, mint or cinnamon is preferred.  If your upset stomach is due to something more serious like a stomach virus, you will need to bring out the big guns. Call your doctor immediately and tell him/her your dilemma. Avoid soda, alcohol and sweets to give your stomach time to rest.

Sinus/Allergy problems – If you are prone to sinus or allergy problems you will want to prepare well ahead of your wedding. Hot compresses on your face will open things up as well as a steamy shower. If you belong to a gym that has  a steam room – now is the time to use it. Keep a saline spray on hand but try not to over-indulge, it is not a permanent solution.

The worst thing that can happen is to become seriously ill the day before (or the day of) your wedding.  The weeks, days leading up to your wedding are when you are the most busy and the most susceptible to viruses. Keep your hands washed, drink a lot of fluids and if you feel the slightest bug coming on – call your doctor!

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

What do brides really expect from their wedding vendors? Great customer service!  At Bridal Expo Chicago, we do everything within our power to make sure our “to-be-weds’ are the most well informed and pampered customers in the wedding market. We scour the  wedding market thoroughly to bring to you the best vendors available… all in one place. What we give our clients is what we expect them to pass on to our brides; the best customer service available. So what (exactly) does great customer service entail?

1) Contact – If you have called a vendor more than once and haven’t gotten a  call back, this is a red flag. If they can’t be on the phone to schedule an appointment before they book your event, what will happen once you have paid? Vendors – Get in touch with your clients even if you are swamped. It only takes a few minutes to book an appointment or to explain why you can’t. If you don’t have time to call them back, don’t be shocked if they feel the same.

2) Too Much – Inundating your potential clients with mass emails, constant phone calls and all kinds of direct mail can be a little much. If you are filling their inbox, mailbox and voicemail with offers or discounts (no matter how good they are) they could become frustrated. Some might see it as desperate and even worse,  annoying.  Remember there is a difference between being persistent and being pushy! Find a balance by asking for customer feedback and always have an ‘opt out of offers’ button, as required by the FCC. 3 emails per week might be just right but, 3 emails every hour might be a little too much.

3) Offers – If you are going to advertise a promotion, make sure it is valid and easy to understand. Tricky numbers and faux discounts is a huge turn-off. Another turn-off is gimmicky offers that have more fine print than a Chicago phone book. Everyone loves to save money so offering incentives is always a great idea…. unless the customer can’t understand the terms. When you are handed a prize onstage at a Bridal Expo Chicago event, you are handed a prize with no strings attached.

4) Remember- If you can’t remember the name of the person you are speaking to, there is a problem. Keep a notepad and jot down important information about their event so you can refer to this when you are speaking to them. Never pick up the phone without picking up their file so you can stay on top of  changes, making notes each time. Clients book vendors based on a feeling of familiarity and comfort more than price-shopping alone.

5) Go the extra mile. Knowing the colors, flowers, favorite songs or other details of the wedding, will show your customer that they are  important. One vendor in particular always presents the bride and groom with a gift that signifies their relationship.  Whether they play golf, or tennis or are big NASCAR fans, he goes the extra mile to make sure they know how much time and love he has invested in them and their event.

We are all consumers so we know how important customer service is for our brides and grooms. Rather than worrying about whether or not the customer is always or even sometimes right; it  might be a little more helpful to conduct your business according to the golden rule: “Treat others the way you want to be treated”  Be honest, be reliable, be efficient and willing to work  to produce the most desirable outcome.

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

Bridal Expo Chicago does not sell or share  email lists or personal information with any other companies. If you ever have a problem, please contact our offices at 847-428-3320.

Life is complicated. Weddings are even more complicated and proper etiquette is really, really complicated. Actually it’s not, it is really just common sense and it is not intended to make you feel better than other people, it is supposed to make other people feel comfortable with you. The most common etiquette mistakes are made with written correspondence.

When you begin to work your invitations, there are some fairly easy to remember tips:

-Save the Date cards, once reserved for only wealthy and important people, are almost standard fare these days. They should be sent 4 to 6 months prior to the wedding and only sent to people who will be invited to the wedding. Your wedding website ( if you have one) can and should be listed on the Save the Date.

-Never list any gift registries on your invitation. Save that for personal correspondences and your website. This is where a website comes in very handy for sharing information!

-Do not invite anyone to a pre-wedding event that you will not invite to the wedding. You can’t expect someone to come to your shower and give you a present if you’re not planning to invite them to the wedding. It would seem like they were good enough to give you a shower gift but not good enough to celebrate with you on the big day. The shower is meant to be a party for the women closest to the bride (and often her mom and the groom’s mom too). All these close female friends and relatives should also be invited to the wedding.

-Invitations with reply cards still need to have “RSVP” printed on them. This is just to remind them and it is a common courtesy. Many won’t send it back and someone will have to be delegated to make phone calls two weeks before the wedding to check on them. It’s a pain – but, there is one in every bunch… just be polite.

-Always add the right postage!!! Check and double check.

- It is not in bad manners to say ‘no children’ on the invitation. It would actually be bad to NOT mention it. Spell it out clearly and leave nothing to the imagination.

-Invitations should be sent out 6-8 weeks before the wedding. The RSVP date should be 2 weeks before the wedding date.

- Thank You cards should match the invitations and should be sent out as soon as you return from the honeymoon.

Invitation wording is trickier than ever; with blended families, multi-cultural parents, same-sex parents, all kinds of different combinations, it is hard to know where to draw the line. Your invitation specialist  should be able to help you with grammar, spelling and protocol. If you choose to DIY on the invitations, consult an etiquette handbook of some sort to walk you through the proper phraseology, you will not be sorry.

It’s a tough world out there, folks and etiquette makes it bearable for those of us who don’t answer the phone during dinner, who let old ladies sit on public transportation, who hold doors open for someone carrying a large package. It makes them feel more comfortable  and that’s the way it should be.

-Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago

Supposedly, there are two things you don’t discuss at family gatherings; politics and religion. In truth, putting politics aside for one night might not be an option when the bride is a blue-dog-Democrat and the groom is a dyed-in-the-wool  Republican….and we are three days away from a major (presidential) election!

Given the current political climate where so many unflattering distinctions are made between left and right, red state and blue state, conservative and liberal, it is kind of fun to peek into how bipartisan couples make their celebrations come together without tearing them apart.

So how does a couple of differing political backgrounds and views put their differences aside for a night of revelry? It is a lot easier than you think.

Spotlight -Bring it out in the open. Without condescension or trivialization, openly address the situation. Have a  Election-themed affair with Donkey and Elephant favors at each table. Instead of numbering the tables, name them after your favorite politicians  of each party and mix it up. Put Republicans at the Clinton table and Democrats at the Reagan table. If you really want to have some fun,  how about large cut-outs of current and former candidates and let guests take photos with them…. just like on the street corners in Washington DC.

Seating Chart - As nice as it is to think that everyone will put their differences aside for one night, they won’t. Think about this when doing your seating chart. Unfortunately this means more work for the couple but, it will be worth it to make sure Aunt Sarah doesn’t go off on a Social Security rant to one of your dearest friends. We all have that one relative or friend who thinks their opinion matters more than everyone else… and they think they are much smarter, as well. Put them where they will cause the least damage!

Edit - Ask anyone giving toast or speeches to make sure they keep it light and fun. This is a great time to jab but, no name calling. Remember that humor goes along way… think of the White House correspondent’s dinner. If you have any doubts, ask an impartial (third party, if you will) person to take a look at what your speakers have to say.

Discuss -Talk to both of your families as a couple, at the same time if possible. Sit them down and tell them that you would like for them to behave for one evening and leave the Obama-care discussions for later. Explain  that they have a lifetime to blame Bush (or Clinton) for the current economic debacle but for tonight they need to check all snyde comments and opinions at the door.

Change -Don’t try to change everyone’s opinion to suit yours. Don’t marry someone thinking you will change their political views and don’t presume that your family will change theirs  either. Accept the differences and move on.

Topics to avoid are healthcare, immigration, and scandal, as each party is equally prone to having skeletons in their closet. For every John Edwards there is an Arnold Schwarzenegger so be careful when opening that door as it is not an easy one to close.

 There are many couples of opposite political views who make it work nicely without sacrificing their opinions. James Carville and Mary Matalin are two of the most opinionated political advisors of different parties and they have had a very successful marriage.

Now, if  politicians could only learn to play nice, we might get something done.  Maybe we should ask Mitt Romney and Barack Obama to plan an entire wedding……. without the help of their wives!

Penny Frulla for Bridal Expo Chicago